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Topic : 01/25 Secrets in the Suburbs

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Created on : Saturday, September 29, 2007, 09:23:47 am
Author : DrPhilBoard1
How well do you think you know your neighbors, your friends and even your child's teacher? It is estimated that four to eight million people in North America are swinging in the suburbs -- mostly middle-class folks from all walks of life. Dr. Phil gives you a closer look at who these couples are who engage in sex with other twosomes. First up, Nita and Walter have been swinging for the last 12 years. They say they are happy in the lifestyle, so why does it cause tension in their relationship? Then, Brent says he has a strong yearning for he and his wife, Renee, to participate in a threesome. Renee says the idea disgusts her, but worries that if she refuses to join in, Brent will leave her. They fight constantly, often dragging their 17-year-old son into the middle of their chaos. Brent says he thinks about having threesomes every other day, but says that his desire is normal. What does Dr. Phil think? And, Dr. Phil viewers weigh in and share their thoughts about the swinging lifestyle. Join the discussion.

Find out what happened on the show.


 
michelle_6
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January 25, 2008, 2:48 pm PST

what she COULD do......

About the wife that didn't want to participate.....that was extremely sad.  Her husband was no better than a rapist....raping her, by proxy.  She definately needed to get a backbone and not give in to him. Let me say that I would never let my husband FORCE me into anything, but IF I wanted to have "fun" with it........ If I were her and he was forcing me into it, I would TEACH him to never want to do it again.  I, honestly, would (on purpose) act like a complete idiot and among other things defacate, burp, pass gas while I was forced to participate!  I assure you, by the time the session was done.....I would have completely ruined any of his fantasies involving other people and he'd never CONSIDER me for doing that again!   But, she makes it very easy to abuse her and.....if he is a control freak, then why WOULD he respect someone who doesn't respect herself??

 
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susienurse
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January 25, 2008, 2:49 pm PST

What about STDs

Do all of these people get checked for STDs? All it would take is one to have a drug resistant strain of whatever, to start an epidemic. We do not live in a world free of disease. I wonder if these people realize that they are exposing themselves to a variety of viruses and bacteria, all of which they will then take home to their loving partner. Kind of like the gift that keeps on giving.
 
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lovingwife84
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January 25, 2008, 2:49 pm PST

says who?!

Quote From: zimexlady

People who swing have ultra low self esteem and turn to activities that lower that esteem even more.

 I have GREAT self esteem and I have never turned to any other activities that lower what I feel about myself.  I LOVE myself and LOVE my husband.  I like how you make a blanket statement of something you probably know nothing about.
 
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tonyg11780
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January 25, 2008, 2:50 pm PST

01/25 Secrets in the Suburbs

Quote From: blbennett

Wal-Mart! lol

 

I hope they know that you would not really take them back

And we all know that trailers dont have basements
 
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phlipflop
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January 25, 2008, 2:50 pm PST

swinging

  I guess I'm old fashioned, but I never would have thought there were that many swingers in the world. I have personally alway believed that one person to satisfy is hard enough. I love my fiance and am sometimes frustrated, mostly because of small children in the home, but I just can't see being with anyone else. I personally live in a smal town so everyone knows everything that goes on. I know this also won't stop most people from doing what they want to, and I think to some it is just the natural way of things.
 
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carlyjen7
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January 25, 2008, 2:50 pm PST

Marriage is beautiful.

 

I have been married to the same guy for 36 1/2 years.  Neither one of us has ever had sexual relations with anyone else. He is my best friend and lover.  Marriage is a divinely ordained instution bringing together one man and one women. When I took my wedding vows I pledged myself to him forsaking all others. My spouse is in my soul mate and I can never imagine either one of us wanting to be someone else. Animals will mate with any of the same species. He is not particular.  Has sex been reduced to animalism in our society? If you have to go outside your marriage to find happiness or to "swing" with someone else, you possess a lack of respect for yourself as well as your spouse. You are basically saying that your spouse is not good enough so therefore, you will look for happiness somewhere else. You carry your happiness with you and nothing external is going to sustain that happiness. "Swinging" is another sign of degeneracy in our country and it saddens me greatly to think that people have to resort to this kind of acitivty to find true happiness and love in life.
 
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jenni2005
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January 25, 2008, 2:51 pm PST

01/25 Secrets in the Suburbs

Quote From: jenni2005

         That comment you wprtoe os very uneducated, Dr. Phil admmited to being on sided about the topic. Are u a child? Because name calling aure makes you sound like one. Im sure you have made aome unitelligent choices in your life, who are you to judge other peoples lifestyles. Im not even in the "swinger lifestyle." but never would a act like I am better than someone who is, or call them names. Grow up
 Let me fix my typos......What you wrote was very uneducated
 
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nacscindy
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January 25, 2008, 2:52 pm PST

I escaped the lifestyle

My ex-husband brought up the lifestyle with me a year after he ended an affair with his brother's wife.  I didn't like the idea of it, but I thought if I didn't participate, I would lose him because he apparently had these "needs" that I couldn't fulfill.  Boy, what was I thinking?  I look back now and realize how insane this thinking was, but I really didn't want to lose my husband.  Anyway, we went to a club once, but didn't stick around for anything.  We met some people from the internet and did full swaps a few times.  Then we met a couple that we both really liked personally.  We started spending every weekend with this couple, even joining a church together.  I started to feel very insecure when I realized that the other woman was becoming more important to my husband than I was.  I asked him to stop the relationship (he had told me many times that if I ever wanted to stop that all I needed to do was tell him and he'd end it).  Well, that didn't go over very well, and I realized that he was in love with the other woman.  I refused to continue going to their house, and the other man tried to get his wife to stop it, and my husband and she started meeting by themselves.  This relationship didn't last long because of her need to be with her husband and family.  Of course, he came back to me, but I felt worthless at this point.  Well, now we're divorced, and I finally feel healthy....even though he is back with his brother's wife. 
 
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jane2007
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January 25, 2008, 2:52 pm PST

a little angry?

Quote From: bcaffee

  No intelligent person would have a lifestyle of this manner!!  And if you don't like what Dr. Phil does on his show   DON"T WATCH IT!!!  How was the show one sided!! Are you sure you saw the same Dr. Phil show as myself?? or are you that demented!! 

Did I strike a nerve?

 

I am not bashing you and I would appreciaite the same respect. Like I said if you had seen other showns that were objective and interviewed couples that were secure and happy with their decision to be in the lifestyle maybe then you would get it.

 

Dr. Phil's show was absolutely depicting the minority in the lifestyle. Check the message board out many people agree.

 

Jane
 
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rianashley
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January 25, 2008, 2:53 pm PST

Are you on Crack? LOLOLOL!!

Quote From: MrTruelove

Quote by ceildh1: " (although I don't get why you would get married if you don't "DO" Monogomy)." -End quote Swinging is different for many different people. But for some people, myself included, it is simply something we are doing together. It's not that I am having sex with other people. WE are having sex with other people. It's a shared experience. That being said, I have a monogamous relationship with my wife in an emotional aspect. And sex with her is truly unique because of that. But expanding the non-emotional aspect of our sexlife up with other people is quite different. I expect to see people come onto this show and have difficulties with swinging because their marriage wasn't sound to begin with. They were looking into swinging as a possible cure for a problem, or perhaps looking for something their relationship didn't provide. It's sad really, because those are the completely wrong reasons to get into the lifestyle. Stability first, and remember to always go back to a typical marriage at the onset of problems.
If your marriage is healthy and stable, you would never need to go outside your marriage for gratification. What you said make no sense at all.
 
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