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Topic : 01/25 Secrets in the Suburbs

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Created on : Saturday, September 29, 2007, 09:23:47 am

Author : DrPhilBoard1

How well do you think you know your neighbors, your friends and even your child's teacher? It is estimated that four to eight million people in North America are swinging in the suburbs -- mostly middle-class folks from all walks of life. Dr. Phil gives you a closer look at who these couples are who engage in sex with other twosomes. First up, Nita and Walter have been swinging for the last 12 years. They say they are happy in the lifestyle, so why does it cause tension in their relationship? Then, Brent says he has a strong yearning for he and his wife, Renee, to participate in a threesome. Renee says the idea disgusts her, but worries that if she refuses to join in, Brent will leave her. They fight constantly, often dragging their 17-year-old son into the middle of their chaos. Brent says he thinks about having threesomes every other day, but says that his desire is normal. What does Dr. Phil think? And, Dr. Phil viewers weigh in and share their thoughts about the swinging lifestyle. Join the discussion.

Find out what happened on the show.

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hofergal

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January 25, 2008, 3:21 pm PST

01/25 Secrets in the Suburbs

Dr. Phil,

I am not old, neither I am young, but...........swinging??? How long do they think they can keep it up? After one or the other gets tired or, find someone more attractive there will be a divorce. What ever happens to the vows at the wedding spoken "TILL DEATH DO US PART, FORSAKING ALL OTHERS". Guess they started the marriage with a lie why not just continue with disobeying the 10 commandments all together.

It does remind me of "Sodom and Gomorah"

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rosscm

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January 25, 2008, 3:22 pm PST

swingers

I had two very good friends,married for a long time and for some reason they decided to swing. They both agreed with the lifestyle. Eventually, the husband feel in love with one of the women he was swinging with and I think you know the ending. They ended up getting a divorce. He ended up living with the woman he had fallen in love with,but guess what,that didn't last long! They both are married to other people today. I believe if you want other partners you should not be married. Marriage is being with the person you love. Sharing everything with that one person. There are consequences for the swinging lifestyle. They may not be immediate, but they are there.

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corak341

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January 25, 2008, 3:22 pm PST

how disgusting

i cant believe this is going on, this is the same as adultery, no wonder this world is sooo bad, we really need gods kingdom, this is worse than sodom and gomorrah and we know what happened there. 1 cor 6;9,10 tellus us they wont inherit gods kingdom.these are adults, what are they doing to their children.

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jmp1of2

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January 25, 2008, 3:22 pm PST

Question why these

People have chosen to marry. I couldn't do it, i trust my partner and share love, passion etc. I don't want to "share" that with others or partake of that with others, that' is why i chose to marry my partner. If i were not married, i may think differently.

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rr_rosebud

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January 25, 2008, 3:23 pm PST

life style

the swing life style is not right for everyone. your head has to be in the right place . u have to be open minded to understand .one thing i want to correct dr phil when he said what happens if you mate finds somone better and cheats. NOBODY is better only different.its not about love, its about feeling different touches then reconnecting with your spouse and talking about what feels good.in most cases when cpls meet the wives have the final word on weather anything goes any farther.. many women in the life style are bi. they want to feel a close connection with the female of the other cpl. believe it or not if your secure in your marriage swinging can inhance yoru sex life with your spouse. when u have been married many years sex can and does get routeen . even if yoru not in the lifestyle i think its a good idea to do what u can to keep the spice in your sex life. after chatting with many cpl i found that they lost the sensuality in the ir marriage and got wrapped up in everydayt life and grew appart

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mickeyle2005

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January 25, 2008, 3:23 pm PST

IN REGARDS TO SWINGERS

DR.PHIL,

A MARRIAGE BETWEEN A MAN AND A WOMAN IS SACRED, WHEN I MARRIED MY HUSBAND I DID SO AS I WANTED TO BE WITH HIM AND NOT WITH SOMEONE ELSE. THIS IS ALSO A GOOD WAY TO CATCH A DISEASE.

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katyas35

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January 25, 2008, 3:23 pm PST

It doesn't have to be a gun

Quote From: monique37

It amazes me that people think that a "threesome" is something new. There are many people that actually get involved with "swinger" as a normal lifestyle. What appauled me the most was this woman was sitting there acting like she had no control or will power to say no and mean no. Her husband never put a gun to her head and said that you have to do this or I will kill you. It is simply sad that she allowed that to happen, not just once but multiple times. Dr. Phil said something quite profound and that is " people only treat us how we allow them to." Amen to that. If she doesn't want to do than don't no man is worth selling your soul for.

On the other hand if that is what you want to do than you do it with someone with your same attitude and prespective on marriage, love and sexuality. For me, personally, no thanks. I love my husband and when that time comes that I need another man to satisfy my or vise versa than it's time to teach and if you don't want to learn than it's time to go.

My ex never stuck a gun to my head. Instead he constantly called me a stupid ingnorant f***g C**t if I didn't go through with it. He pushed me down in front of people and then called me drunk. There is a huge wave of loss of power when some jackhole is bullying you into it. Guns come in the shape of words and insults and the bullets hit home just as painfully. Don't you dare say she didn't have control. There is no control when your spouse is abusive. It is rape and that is ILLEGAL and I hope he gets stuck up by his testicles until they pop. My ex allowed a very huge man to rape me until it burst an ovary and after 3 hours of laying in agony I was taken to the hospital. The nurse asked me if within the last year had I been hit or felt threatened in any way. I wanted to scream and never stop.

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dgpic4

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January 25, 2008, 3:23 pm PST

01/25 Secrets in the Suburbs

Dr. Phil

My wife and I attend a swinger's club in Mississauga Ontario. We mutally enjoy the "dirty dancing" and open sexual contact that goes on in this club. We have not gotten into open swaps because my wife has some apprehension about it . Her mouth says yes but her behaviour says no. That's OK with me. I'm happy with the open sexuality on the dance floor and let her dictate where we want to hake the relationship.

One concern I have with Dr. Phil's comments is his reference to " getting hit across the back of the head with a shovel if I did that". I know it was said in jest; but where's the equality in the relationship if it's dictated by fear? Dr Phil would say all relationships need bounderies but fear should not be one of them.

My wife and I view your show together and I believe it's good to talk about sexuality in an open fourm. But, what's good for one couple does not mean it's good for all cpuples.

Keep on Rockn'

The Picard's

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bbbald

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January 25, 2008, 3:24 pm PST

01/25 Secrets in the Suburbs

Quote From: evil__kitty

Dr. Phil is wrong. His alcoholic analogy didn't make any sense. People who go to swinger clubs are not addicted to sex!
Most of them are in loving and committed relationship. They have a very healthy sex life with their partner and once in a while some fun with other people. There is nothing wrong with that.

You are so very right. I know cause we have been in the lifestyle for a number of years and LOVIN IT. Take care

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rianashley

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January 25, 2008, 3:25 pm PST

Committed Relationship???

Uh, the idea of a "committed relationship" usually means commitment to one person in the area marriage and sexual intimacy.

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