Topic : 01/25 Secrets in the Suburbs

People like to say that if you swing or have group sex as a couple you are not committed.  Is sex the ONLY thing that commitment is based on?  Is there nothing else keeping relationships solid?  I have seen couples get torn apart by this...... but guess what...... they already had an excessive amount of problems in thier relationship, were not really respected by eachother, and didn't feel secure.  Only a truly commited couple can be successful while doing this.

Anybody we have played with has not been there to comfort me or my husband in trying times.  They haven't held my hair back as my husband has during morning sickness.  They haven't been my confidant and best friend.  In our relationship, our commitment is shown everyday.  And that doesn't include having intercourse everyday.  We don't celebrate anniversaries with them, they don't join in our family traditions, they don't have a bearing on our descisions.  They aren't there to fall asleep to every night.

They are there for a good time and good memories.  Just like any dinner party you've attended, it was something that you did with others and that you have memories of, is doesn't define your life or relationship.  Our playmates have (luckily) been fun, We engaged in good conversation and along with that good sex.

My husband and I have been swinging going on 5 years.

My family is aware of it as are my grown adult children, even my MOTHER.

I think what shocked my mother (think old school'what would the neighbors think?)

So I went to a popular swing site, typed in my zip code, put in a 50 mile radius and viola, up popped over 500 couples......there mom, that's what my neighbors think.

She was aghast of course that so many people were swinging, not that my husband and I swing.

The thing about swinging is, there must be 110% agreement between the couple if they are wanting to try this.

They must be 2000% committed to their MARRIAGE.

They must set clear and unbreakable RULES for swinging, any violation of the rules and the swinging ends or the marriage will.

Protect yourself at all times, from pregnancy, disease, weirdos.

Never go with strangers, always get to know the people first (phone, internet, safe place to meet for the 1st time)

Swinging has not harmed our marriage whatsoever. We've had 3 somes (MFM and FMF as well as couples MF/MF)

If swinging has done anything to our marriage it has strengthened it, we have more trust for each other, our sex life..........well......just RULES!

We are open with each other, no secrets, no lying, the trust is amazing!! If both of us don't agree to a situation 110%.......we leave, simple as that.

Nobody can enter our marriage, they may enter our bed but not our marriage. We are a team and will remain until death do us part.

Swinging is absolutely NOT for everyone.

No partner should feel threatened, forced, or guilted into doing anything they do not want to do!

The couple coming on the show where the wife doesnt want to do it but feels pressure from her husband and is scared he'll leave if she doesn't go along with him.......

Face it, there are much deeper problems than just if his 'needs' or 'wants' aren't met or she doesnt do what HE wants to do.

Some people are not into swinging nor ever will be. It isn't right for everyone. (though the numbers are so high that fact has room for argument!)

One thing swinging has given us is a much deeper understanding of each other, has enhanced a very wonderful sex life too.

Mind you, this isn't an everyday thing or we spend time cruising, we're part timers......if we find a nice couple fine, if not, fine too.

Its been a year since we swung but we move across country and have been busy....if the mood strikes we'll search for like minded adults and see where it goes......our lives are not consumed by swinging, only positively enhanced  our marriage, IN and OUT of the bedroom.

Las time I checked Marriage and honor, came hand in hand.These freaks are making m sick to know they dont think of it as wrong and want a good time.What about these people who really give their heart in thier marriage.They dont enjoy their spouse bein stimulated by something else.Its just plain Discusting and the will burn in hell for their sins.