Topic : 01/25 Secrets in the Suburbs

I'm going to try and not be insensitive here.  You obviously watch Dr. Phil or, you, at least, participate in the forums so you surely must know that it take *two* for a marriage to end.  I can't imagine you had 19.5 years of happiness and then, bang, he went after another woman.

Either you are in denial and can't accept your part in the breakdown of your marriage or you simply didn't communicate with each other.

I Agree with alot of what u are saying....

That's great! I am also a mid-too-high class.+ lifestyle. I believe we make our belief's (duhh self fulfilling prophesy.. We are products of our lifestyles. Never pressure anyone, thats the neat thing.. I know you needed the XXX, but come on did you really do the show  because of that? Or are U just WONDERING?

Robyn is so sweet...

Edmond, Oklahoma Wife... and  HappY!!!

Thanks Dr. OPhil

And where do you live??

FRIENDS».-(¯`v´¯)-»PLACEMAT

Just curious.  Did you have sex before marriage?  If not, good for you.  If so, how can marriage only sex be the only non perverted sex and everything good and wonderful about sex out there?

Just asking.

I want to start out by saying NO one should ever be forced to do something like this now for others it might work for your relationship and I have no right to judge anyone for what they do!

I am a regular watcher of the Dr. Phil  show and I can say watching this episode really nerve racked me and I have never been on the message boards on here or anywhere for that matter but I felt like this is something I need to do this for the people that don't think this is for them or are even uneasy about it or being forced to do this and also I need to do it for myself.

I have been happily married for 4 years and my husband brought this up to me and told me it was one of his fantasy and I told him your fantasy's are so much better in your mind cause after a while our marriage will be effected by it since I lived that life before I met my husband for 3 years and I was threatened to do that and pornographic pictures and just for those of you that think I might not know what I am talking about I'm in Dallas, TX and the Red Carpet, Lido & Red Clouds website are some of the ones that are around here and I have done everything that you could think of and my ex husband would beat me if I didn't do it with him and so I did it and finely I started drugs (Speed, X etc.) just so I could get through another day of this hell that I lived in and I would sometimes get payed to do this and I felt so dirty and I am still in counseling because of it to this day and it's been 5 years since I have done anything like this.  Thank God I am with a man that does understand my situation and I am very thankful for that and me and him have compromised on a few things such has movies and role playing between me and him and he says he is much happier with our arrangement and that he does trust and take my word on what this lifestyle can do to you as a person!

 DON'T LET ANYONE MAKE YOU DO SOMETHING YOU DON'T WANT TO DO YOU WILL LOSE YOURSELF IF YOU DO!!!!

I'm 23 years old. I've always had a weight problem. My parents have always been verbally abusive and my father is physically abusive. I started having sex and smoking pot when I was 15. I was raped at that age too. This started a long line of having sex with guys just because they wanted to have sex with me despite the fact that I didn't want to have sex with them. I've been told this is because I feel other people's feelings are more important than mine. I also figured that if I did what they wanted maybe they'd want to actually date me. My first relationship was my high school sweetheart and it was decent. I cheated on him with an ex of mine because the guy wanted to not because I really wanted to. That relationship ended shortly thereafter when he broke up with me. When I was 19 I met a 29 year old who already had a girlfriend. I ended up going out with him officially after they broke up. He beat me almost everyday and was verbally and sometimes sexually abusive to me. He eventually cheated on me and left me. My next relationship was when I was 21 with a 26 year old. He was verbally, sexually, and (a few times) physically abusive. In the beginning of our relationship I cheated on him much in the same fashion as the first boyfriend. He was enraged about it. I didn't know what it would lead to. He eventually started harassing me to have sex with other men. He'd harass me about it constantly and make me tell him stories of having relations with other men. If I didn't want to he'd threaten to leave me. He didn't want to be involved he just wanted to listen from the other room. His other main stipulation was that is be unprotected sex. So, I went along with it. I believe it was five different men throughout the course of our 11 month relationship. The worst time was when he brought me to see his friend and his girlfriend for the friend's birthday. He asked me to have sex with his friend before we even went down there and I told him no. Much like the woman I saw on the show today it made me feel degraded, dirty, unloved, sick to my stomach, etc. So, when we went to see his friends I wanted to go to bed early. My boyfriend then proceeded to scream at me for about two hours straight to "play cards with them." So, I finally gave in because I knew he wouldn't stop screaming at me and I knew he would break up with me if he didn't get his way. He broke up with me at least twice a week a few months into our relationship. That's one of the main ways he got me to do the things he wanted me to do. So, by playing cards he meant having sex with his friend whilst he had sex with the friend's girlfriend. It was the worst experience of my life. It went on for hours and was very physically painful. My boyfriend also performed oral sex on her and had unprotected sex with her. He kept saying he wanted to have sex with the friend's girlfriend but she didn't want to anymore. So, he got mad and decided he'd have sex with me since he couldn't have sex with her anymore. He then forced me to kiss him and perform oral sex on him after he had done those things with her. This went on for a few more hours. When he was finally done he went to bed. The next day I was bleeding and mentally tormented. We had an hour ride home and I cried the whole way home. He screamed at me that if I didn't want to do it I shouldn't have done it. Throughout our relationship I had sex with other men at his demand quite a few times but this incident was by far the worst. He didn't care what it did to me and figured I'd "get used to it" like the husband on the show. And, like the woman on the show I went along with it because I was terrified of losing him. Watching the show today made me cry and brought up a lot of terrible feelings. I just thought I'd post this to let people know what it can really do to someone.

Hi Dr. Phil,

Today is the first time I have written anything on your website.  But I happened to be watching your show today, about  this "swinging thing or threesomes" and it is just absolutely unbelievable and disgusting to me. I know that probably sounds a bit harsh but what in the world are people thinking?  What has happened to the principles,ethics and Godly foundation that was instituted, designed and ordained by Almighty God, from the beginning of time????  Are there no more Christian principles?  What happened to the sanctity of "marriage" ?  I know that some people reading this (maybe even you) would probably call me a "Jesus freak" well personally Dr. Phil I don't care, this subject upsets me.  I'am a Christian lady and I do love the Lord, I'm not perfect by any 'stretch' but I do definitely believe this type of behavior is  "Wrong" and holds great consequences, whether in this life or the hereafter. Do people honestly think they can just laugh at God and  make a mockery of Him? Having multiple sex partners (when they are SUPPOSE to be married), people of the same gender being sex partners? Maybe it would be helpful for people to take a few minutes and read how God dealt with the people of Sodom and Gomorrah?  Yes, Dr. Phil in my mind I guess I always knew this kind of behavior took place, but it never ceases to amaze me how people are so proud, pleased and willing to talk so openly about such subjects and actually think it's O.K..... Not only do people not respect each other, family or life, but it's almost like anything GOES, what one person doesn't think of someone else does....  I often think about the possibility of remarriage someday, but with the "freaky" ideas  (as I call them) about relationships, marriage and swingers I'm almost scared to death to even want to get involved....  What? get married and then years down the road you find out that your partner wants to "explore" other sex partners,fantasties or whatever... Noooo thank you!!!!. I really am not a judgemental person, but right is right and wrong is wrong.   Well,  Dr. Phil I will get off of my "soap box" and not make this into a "sermon" lesson,  but I would like to let you know how thankful  I'am for the opportunity to speak my mind... and give my personal opinins. 

                                                                                                                                           Lynda