Quote From: firegoddess I am not a regular watcher of Dr. Phil, but was made aware
of the show on swinging by my Lifestyle friends. I was disappointed to see such
an incomplete picture of the LIfestyle and what it means on a cultural level.
There are a number of assumptions made by Dr. Phil about the Lifestyle that are
simply incorrect.
1. Couples in the Lifestyle are missing something in their relationships they
are seeking in other people. Not
true.
Couples that have healthy relationships in the Lifestyle are
not looking to replace their partners or fill any kind of void their partner
doesn't fill. They are simply looking to enjoy a fun sexual experience with
other people including their spouse. As beyond the realm of possibility it may
seem to most Americans, (safer) sex is fantastic fun. And for those who don't
repress their sexual beings, sex with more than one person can be an ecstatic
experience.
2. All Americans believe the only way to have a successful
marriage is to be monogamous. Not true.
Some couples do not consider monogamy as a criterion for a
successful marriage. For couples that have complete satisfaction, trust and
peace in their partnership and are sexually open and unrepressed, the Lifestyle
is the ultimate evolution of a soul-connected partnership.
3. All Americans think the idea of the Lifestyle is
repugnant. Not true.
Many people would admit to being titillated by the idea.
Hence the reason Dr. Phil did the show. It is a draw because Americans are
drawn to sexual subjects. It is the paradox of a culture steeped in sex yet
fearful of open sexuality.
I have much more to say. However, I will simply finish by
reiterating the comment made by one of the (poorly chosen) guests that everyone
knows people in the Lifestyle. My husband and I are a perfect example of the
solid, loving professional couple that puts our family first and takes time out
on the weekends to have a rocking good time with other like-minded, open,
honest, intelligent doctors, teachers, firefighters, architects, nurses. .
. Well, you get the idea.
If you were freaking out watching the show, just remember
swingers are at the grocery store, at the PTA meeting, volunteering at charity
functions and even, you guessed it, singing in the church choir.
I found this show very interesting. I have been married for 13 years and have 3 children. Before the children we were hanging out with some friends that were swingers. I was both appalled and intrigued at the same time. after many nights of questions I decided I wanted to know what it was like to touch a girl in a sexual way. (never wanted to before). Boundaries were set, (i made the most and broke my own boundaries). The next day I was confused. We got with the couple again with intentions for just having a regular evening. We ended up messing around and having sex with our own spouse but while in the same room. Later my husband and I both agreed that what we liked best was being with each other in the same room. There was something cool for us having that additional sexual energy. This happened a few more times with this couple and then we had 3somes with 2 different girlfriends of mine.
Having said that I do believe some fantasies are better left fantasies. It's not all that and it gets messy with feelings and trust.
9 years and 3 kids later we don't have the time or energy to seek this out so we bring in fictitious people to our bed. It is a lot safer and in some ways even more fun!
peace to all
How well do you think you know your neighbors, your friends and even your child's teacher? It is estimated that four to eight million people in North America are swinging in the suburbs -- mostly middle-class folks from all walks of life. Dr. Phil gives you a closer look at who these couples are who engage in sex with other twosomes. First up, Nita and Walter have been swinging for the last 12 years. They say they are happy in the lifestyle, so why does it cause tension in their relationship? Then, Brent says he has a strong yearning for he and his wife, Renee, to participate in a threesome. Renee says the idea disgusts her, but worries that if she refuses to join in, Brent will leave her. They fight constantly, often dragging their 17-year-old son into the middle of their chaos. Brent says he thinks about having threesomes every other day, but says that his desire is normal. What does Dr. Phil think? And, Dr. Phil viewers weigh in and share their thoughts about the swinging lifestyle. Join the discussion.
