Quote From: truelove8300 I really appreciate the non-swingers that have posted on here that, while it's not for them, they don't feel the need to pass judgement on those that choose to swing. I know in my first post I stated how great my marriage is but it's not because we swing. It's because we're finally to a point to where we are 100% open and honest with each other and I'm truely more in love now than I was early in my marriage. I think a lot of swingers feel the same and try to express it, but it tends to come out that we think our marriages are "better" than monogamous marriages. We're not trying to say that at all. I promise. Many of us have had failed misserable relationships in the past and are just trying to convey the difference between our current versus our past relationships rather than ours versus yours. For those who think that I don't have a real marriage, or that I'm not in love with my husband, that we're just best friends with benefits and need to get a divorce, you couldn't be more wrong. We are very much in love.
And some have also stated that swingers just swing because they've lost the "sizzle" in their relationship. That we care about each other like a sister would a brother and take care of each other, but that we're not "in love" anymore and that we should divorce. If that really was the case (and I assure you it's not) then what about all those couples out there that have been married for 25 years and their kids are all grown and the house is paid off and they are the best of friends and take care of each other and couldn't imagine being with anyone else, but they don't have sex anymore because they've lost the "sizzle"? Should they divorce?
And as far as the adultery thing is concerned, I know that's a sensitive subject and that everyone has their own opinion, but as someone who has truely been cheated on, I can sincerely say that swinging is not cheating. Adultery is not just having sex with someone other than your spouse. It's also about lieing and hiding and giving yourself not only physically to the non-spouse, but also emotionally. A spouse can even cheat without having sex at all. If someone chooses to confide in and share an emotional relationship with someone who is not their spouse, while hiding that relationship and not confiding in their spouse, that is considered cheating in a court of law.
I don't really want to get into the religious part. Too many people believe too many things. And the founding fathers didn't include freedom of religion in the Constitution so that we could all be free to be strict fundamentalists.
As far as being damned to hell and what not, isn't Christianity based on the belief that everyone who believes that God sent his Son to die on the cross for all mans' sin so that if they accept this they'll spend eternity in Heaven? That's what I was taught anyways. That all sin is equal and it says in Romans that all have sinned. That would mean I would only be damned to hell if I don't accept Christ. So since those of you who are damning us don't really know if we will or already have accepted Christ, you really can't say where we'll end up.
To conclude, I am a strong, confident, attractive young woman and so are the women we've met in the lifestyle. We don't do this because our husbands demanded. In fact, almost every couple we've met got into it because the wife wanted to explore her attraction to other women. Most men don't even participate, they just watch their wives. But mainly we do this because we enjoy meeting like-minded couples to have as great friends. My husband and my children come first and if ever one of us wanted to quit there wouldn't even be a discussion. We would just quit and be a happy monogamous couple again.
To those who condemn and say we should be fired from our jobs and have our children taken away, maybe you should take the time to get to know some of us. We're good people that volunteer in our communities, serve our country, donate our time and services to help those less fortunate, contribute to charities raise our children to be positive role models and good stuards.
Let me ask one thing. Would you pull your child out of marching band even though they love it, just because you found out the director was homosexual? Would you refuse a medical procedure just because the only Dr. capable of performing it was an atheist? If no, then why persecute a swinger JUST because they swing?
How well do you think you know your neighbors, your friends and even your child's teacher? It is estimated that four to eight million people in North America are swinging in the suburbs -- mostly middle-class folks from all walks of life. Dr. Phil gives you a closer look at who these couples are who engage in sex with other twosomes. First up, Nita and Walter have been swinging for the last 12 years. They say they are happy in the lifestyle, so why does it cause tension in their relationship? Then, Brent says he has a strong yearning for he and his wife, Renee, to participate in a threesome. Renee says the idea disgusts her, but worries that if she refuses to join in, Brent will leave her. They fight constantly, often dragging their 17-year-old son into the middle of their chaos. Brent says he thinks about having threesomes every other day, but says that his desire is normal. What does Dr. Phil think? And, Dr. Phil viewers weigh in and share their thoughts about the swinging lifestyle. Join the discussion.
