Topic : 01/25 Secrets in the Suburbs

I just wanted to comment on the show and how I related to your guest Renee. I lived with that same sort of torment for many years, in fact over 25 years. I don't believe swinging has any place in a marrige. It destroys the very foundation of what a marriage is supposed to be. I hope Renee finds the courage and strength to be her own person. I am living proof you can survive a relationship that is toxic like the one she is living.

I have been divorced for about three years now and am looking for my prince charming. Someone who will accept me for the woman that I am and the woman I have become. I am no longer affraid of being alone or that I won't succeed on my own. Today I'm still not sure where this inner strength came from, but I sure am glad I found it...

Linda

Modesto, CA

So true!  So many people make stements as to fact and not opinion.  If they disagree with it, fine they can, but staeing opinions as facts makes us look like molesters or criminals.  You are dead on about not telling others what we do in bed alone or with others.  not there business and they don't want to know about it.  This thread has turned into atack and defend, which is wrong.  The problem is that Dr. Phil put an abusive husband on with swingers and painted the same picture for all of them.  In my mind that was very irresponsible and I would like to see him take the responsibility to properly research the topic and get the right people on.  He can interview peopel who tried it and didn't like it, but that tried it as consenting adults not as a form of spousal abuse.  I think that his lack of respec to the people in the lifestyle has created the attack and defend discusion now going on.

Playfullcouple

Yeah I know, the romantic type is back...

The persons I find that are swinger types have so many neck disorders from all of the hard staring they are a doing in all directions...(neck strain, sometimes sprain...hahahehe)

In my belief system I feel like swinger types are so busy looking for themselves in others that they are a missing the current moment in time, where everything is a happening.  Sort of like one a too busy a swinging from branch to branch, that they forget to notice anything real a going on around them, except for their quest for new entertainment purposes only; adventures.

I realize that this is just my perception and not will agree with my thoughts and that is okay, for we all are different and we all are traveling to a beat of a different drum, and what one calls good to another may be perceived as bad.  Again, "different strokes for different folks"  (original author, unknown)

So please don't find me judgemental because I think differently than yourself.  To my own self I must remain true...living any other way would just be a lie and when one starts a lying to themselves, therein lies the problem.

Simply due to the fact that what steals away your happiness and peace of mind, you are giving permission for it to be a happening...Simply because we are the creators of our own reality, wrether we want to accept that ideology or not...this one is a given and not something one needs to be a rocket scientist to figure out...ex. drive drunk, one day you will be caught simply due to the odds of how many times you have escaped the law of karma..."that which comes around, goes around."  This one is an Einsteinian fact, as for Biblical...that is good enough for me.

How I perceive those wanting/having "friends with benefits," to be:

They are persons that seem to be locked into future possibilities of greater entertainment issues instead of the current moment in time where everything is real and is a happening.  Sort of waiting for a special moment to occur that was different than yesterday.   Please read the book, "The Power of Now, Guide to Spiritual Enlightenment" by Eckhart Tolle and you will discover that ideology perhaps as well.  Actually all of Eckhart Tolle's books will help you discover the present moment to be more real than always a having one foot in the future or a one foot in the past.  At least that is what it has done for me.

This next part is perhaps a bit judgemental again, yet perhaps it won't be to those that read what I wrote and agree, understand or have any opinions either way...Is not America a great place to live!

I believe that all swingers, friends with benefit persons; should also be on the watch out for those fatal attraction types.  You know the kind?  The needy and desperate ones that would fall in love with a swinger even though the rules stated, "it will never happen ville."

I believe as well that all swingers, friends with benefit persons; all not all wrapped as tightly as others.

Take for instance one of my sister in law's who actually drove head long into insanity...due to her husband demanding a three way with his one of his former wives and her...followed by many other instances...I don't believe that she was every really wrapped tightly, yet I believe my brother dug that in her...because she symbolized one where the light is on, yet no one is at home type.  We all know at least one of these types...no back bone, no confidence, no self esteem, no pride, totally and helplessly lost somewhere a looking for herself in others...

I remember one time in particular when my brother had to take her back to the mental ward.  (she wasn't always mental, she became mental after the sexual adventures her husband my brother took her on after about twenty years of marriage, and 3 children from the marital union; this incident occurred:

They were a driving back from the store one winter's night in Michigan.  There was reported to me about 3 inches of snow on the ground.

My sister in law asked my brother to stop the car and let her out.  When she got out of the car, she started tearing her clothes off as she started to run to the river to jump in so that the devils that were a chasing her, wouldn't catch her...no she wasn't on any recreational drugs or alcohol, only prescription drugs.

One case out of a 100 you say?  I don't know about you, life to me is good.  I don't do well a sharing what I have given my total committment to.  If one can't do that, than why in the dickens do you want to get married?  Why take the chances with dying from a disease that you can't run or hide from?

Get real people, condoms are not enough...you need medical records from these folks...shoot I won't even kiss a guy that I suspect that might be a player because I don't know where his mouth has been...you know what I mean?  Bill C., I know that you do, hahahehee...It cost our country $40Million to validate that fact of the father of our country.  Wow, what a role model.  That is why the old people's club called swingers, moved into our children's vogue world, called, friends with benefits; new term...behavior since Solomon and Gomorah times...

Oil of Oregano extract is what I required my player types to drink for at least two weeks before my first kiss from them.  It kills parasites, all kinds and being there are over 5,000 of these little pesky bugs that can inhabit ones bodies and if one is a moving through the assembly line up of bodies a searching for new adventures...their chances of becoming toxically contaminated by bugs of all sorts, natures strains, bacteria, viral and fungal...

I usually muscle test my guys, to see how many drops they need to place in their glass of water a day and how many days, or weeks ; they will have to drink the oil of oregano to become less toxic to me.

So I can't really see me a doing the hanging out with friends with benefits...Heck they would probably have to drink it for ever, double, and triple doses a day.  That stuff is expensive!

What else is expensive is my bedding such a guy as well, for we exchange energies with each other...meaning, were persons to become sensitive such as myself to energies...one could actually feel and smell the energies of another in ones significant other.

That is what the blending of each other into each is all about.

Now because I am an energetic healing professional and the balancing of energies is primarily what I am about...

I have discovered that when one is with one of these player types of persons...you are a receiving all the energies that they have collected from others.

Part 2 later

So for those excited about jumping on the swingers, friends with benefit persons, website...understand this as well...

Very good reply.  We would answer the questions he asked much the same way:

I do have a couple questions before we abolish marriage though – setting opinions aside, do you kiss your swinger date during sex (peck on the lips disqualified) or do you stick to sex buttons only?  When you return from orgasmic bliss, do you snuggle together and light up a cigarette, or get dressed and go home? Or is there a standard etiquette on the amount of time to stay?  Or, do you stick around all night for Champaign breakfast with the kids?  It would be insightful to get an honest answer, but swingers often label these very real questions as hostility.

We would answer these questions to anyone that asks.  It is not hostility if one wants to know the answer for knowledge, but on here it is more looking for fuel to start a fire with.  we have never played with others and not been together afterwards.  Kissing is often the most fun part for us.  It is a common misconception about kissing being too intimate.  It often is all tht happens.  There is etiquete on when to leave and hjow long to stay, and it varies depending on the relationship.  We have freinds that live out of town adn we stay at there place and they stay at ours.  Our kids know them and theirs us and they know each other.  Our children would never see us having sex in our bed room.....ALONE...forget with someone else.  When our children are of an age of maturity to discuss sex, and they want to know and ask, we will discuss it with them.  But for the next 15 years or so until they reach 30ish, this is not a discusion to have.  Breakfas tthe next day is common, but only good friends that we have met with many times stay at our house.  And breakfast with them is no differnet then when vanilla friends stay the night.  If anyone wants to ask questions to beter their knowledge and to be more informed, We will answer anything asked out of genuine seeking of knowledge.

Playfullcouple

I am back again...

When I left off, I told all that when we have intimacy with our significant other, we are exchanging energies with each other...when you throw others energies into the mix...you sometimes are a playing with fire.

Not in the contaminated sexual disease state...I am referring to.  I am a talking about chakra balancing energies...

One becomes the energies that surround s and fill them...

How do I know this to be true for sure?  I used to go to my Master herbologist and Iridologist Health Food Store that I as well did treatment sessions out of and get muscle tested for flower essences to help balance my electrical and energetic body energies state.  (Ginny Irwin is also on my website, www.onlinetoniewallace.com and she offers up newsletters and one can even call her for herbal or nutritional advice...see Ginny's Corner

I noticed that the essences that I tested for were more in line with the energies of my player boyfriend than myself...hmmmm...perhaps all but one or two out of 8 were what I personally needed and the 6 other essences I tested were for him.

Which was probably a good thing for somehow being we exchanged energies during intimacy, I was a helping him balance all those grey areas of those he had selected to be intimate with before me...and perhaps during the time he was with me as well...

Yea it is true, the one in love with a player, pays the heavier cost...at least I know for a fact that I did.

So there you have, my own personal story...Would I ever consider a ever sharing him with another?  Not on your life for love to me is what Dr. Phil and Robin have...I too one day will have it so, if not here on earth, perhaps in Heaven,

So in my book, players, potential friends wanting benefits, swingers, need not apply...Simply because I don't have the time for all of the drama...nor the money necessary to keep all the supply of Oil of Oregano that I would need, or the heart strong enough to share willingly for I am truly selfish when it comes to sharing the other and best side of me...my prince.

Yet I wish all well in what ever endeavors one chooses to pursue...Going Home to be with God is my first priority...followed by my prince, followed by my children, family and friends.  Any other design than that, just doesn't make any sense to me.  That's just me...

Take what you need and do please leave the rest.

We Are All Blessed

Love, Light and Peace

Tonie

It was a Halloween theme party. Unlike a lot of vanilla people us swingers don’t just sit on the coach we are constantly going to themed parties almost every month. To be honest most times we never even have sex with others it just a lot of fun and if something happens then so be it but its not a requirement for most of us.