My life everyone is talking about.
First and foremost.... I'm a human with feelings! I DO believe in God! I pray just like the rest of the God fearing AMERICA... I'm a mother of 5 and a grandmother of 4. A daughter of a disabled mother whom I take care of , a sister, a wife, a daughter -in- law, and so on.
I don't shout it from the roof tops to the world on a daily basis but, since it's the Hot Topic of the day here it is.... I'm a swinger! I just feel compelled to defend my cohorts.
Four years ago my husband and I wanted to try something new. We were NOT having problems. We did NOT either one feel the need for "fresh meat". We did NOT and still do NOT want a divorce and it does NOT effect either one of us in ANY negative way. We are NOT insecure in our relationship. We are NOT unhappy with ourselves nor do we have a poor self esteem. We LOVE each other more each new day that we are living. Not because swinging brought us closer or because of any other reason other than we are truly IN LOVE with each other more and more each day. We came to the decision together to look after talking about fantasies like most American couples. The difference is, that we followed through with them and others may not have. They simply remain a fantasy to them and not us.
We did not tell anyone for a long time about what we liked to do behind PRIVATE doors. When the decision was made to talk with someone about it, this is what happened. One of my husband's sisters told our youngest daughter (15 at the time) and my husband's mother. It caused a huge fight and his entire family blamed me as if I was the one who initiated it. His Mother spouted the Bible and God in my face as if I am an evil doer of the devil. This is a woman that didn't step a foot in a church until a few years ago and raised her children from the other end of a bar phone. (cast the first stone?) All the same, it put me into a deep depression and I lost a few weeks of work because of what they said and did to me. Let alone the fact that they unleashed our " private sex lifestyle" to our young impressionable daughter. Does anyone in their right mind believe we want those visions and thoughts in her head? I still can't understand why anyone would tell our child this. ....
Moving on.....
Because my town is so small, I felt compelled to talk with my own Mother about my "lifestyle" choices before someone esle did. My father had recently passed away prior to my confession so it was just my mother. My beautiful open minded Mother... what a wonderful open armed answer she gave me ....... She called me by my name and said "If this is what you do, you are happy, and you love your husband then I support you" She hadn't one mean word to say to me. She was behind me and held me in her arms while I cried to her about the way my in-laws were treating me.
The news hit "the family" two years ago. We have five children ages 23,21,18,17, & 12. All but the 12 year old know. Did we tell them? We had to after my husbands family knew. His family spreads all over the State of Ohio and they all knew with in 24 hours so we had to tell them to "protect" them... Did we want them involved in our sex life? NO but we had no choice to tell them after we were "out of the closet" with hubby's family ..... How do they feel about us? They love us and support us no matter what we do. Must have raised them right !
Since the "coming out party" just about everyone we know really well knows we are swingers. The only ones that don't know are my co-workers. I work for the local Hospital and my husband works for one of the most elite colleges here in Ohio. His co-workers know and love the idea. I'd simply die if my co-workers and boss knew. Why? Because they are all very Conservative and close minded people. I have enough issues, drama, chaos in my life to add this to the mix.
This seems to be new to most people but it's actually been around for centuries. I have to remind all those Baby boomer's of the KEY PARTIES!!!!!
And to all the minorities in the world.. I do feel a miniature amount of your pain.. If it's your skin color, religion, race, sexual preference that keeps you locked out of society then God be with you all. I've had a small taste of discrimination and it's a terrible feeling!
Sincerely,
open minded
How well do you think you know your neighbors, your friends and even your child's teacher? It is estimated that four to eight million people in North America are swinging in the suburbs -- mostly middle-class folks from all walks of life. Dr. Phil gives you a closer look at who these couples are who engage in sex with other twosomes. First up, Nita and Walter have been swinging for the last 12 years. They say they are happy in the lifestyle, so why does it cause tension in their relationship? Then, Brent says he has a strong yearning for he and his wife, Renee, to participate in a threesome. Renee says the idea disgusts her, but worries that if she refuses to join in, Brent will leave her. They fight constantly, often dragging their 17-year-old son into the middle of their chaos. Brent says he thinks about having threesomes every other day, but says that his desire is normal. What does Dr. Phil think? And, Dr. Phil viewers weigh in and share their thoughts about the swinging lifestyle. Join the discussion.
