Topic : 10/11 Munchausen Mom

I was just watching this show today here in Tasmania Australia.

I have a granddaughter who was harmed by her mother when she was 3 weeks old and she then came into our care.  My daughter has BPD or Borderline Personality Disorder, which I noticed someone else mentioned in this post.  It is insidious.  Like Munchausen their is very little can be done for BPD sufferers.

And they do suffer, they cannot form 'normal' relationships, it is always all about them.  To the point of neglect of anyone including their children, if their needs are not being met.

When oh when are the powers that be going to recognise Personality Disorders and the destruction they do to families. 

My other issue is this.

I am sure it is the same in USA, as here in Australia, our Welfare system is in crisis overload.

We have 3 categories in which children are placed in when reporting of abuse happens.

Cat 1 -3, with 3 being the least priority.

As the situation stands at present, they are only capable of looking at and dealing with CAT 1 priorities. High 2's a maybe, anything  else falls by the wayside.

So...... in cases like Munchhausens, and BPD or even just PD's where these parents  are extremely good at manipulation and belief of their own stories, what happens to these children.  Because I know in our case, that our daughter was and is extremely good at convincing others nothing is wrong and their is a valid reason for everything.  She too knows all the medical terminology.  She knew what she needed to do to convince the Department that she was capable of having her daughter back.

As in so many cases of BPD and other illnesses, anyone that speaks out or questions them, ends up being the enemy and convinces those who need to be convinced.  If people are not made more aware of these illnesses and the ability to manipulate and what to look out for these little children have little hope.

It has been 17 months since I have seen my granddaughter and I miss her so terribly.

Watched this program today in Australia.  I have been praying for Dr Phil to do a story on this as it feels like such an impossible situation.  I have neice and nephews (all under 6) in full time care of their mother who I have suspected for a couple of years of this condition.  Her sister has also quietly raised the concern wtih me and when we attempted to sensitively raise the topic with others in the family there was a very emotional response of my mother in law who has been protecting and covering for her daughter for years. We sought the help of a cousellor and invited mother-in-law, sister and brother to attend.  Unfortunately my mother-in-law railroaded the whole session, sprouting some amazing lies and cover-ups and saying that there really is no concern.  We were very careful not to make any wrong accusations as counsellors are obligated to tell authorities of potential child abuse and we would not want to get this wrong.  We felt that we had brought up the topic within the family to the extent that we could but because we only have suspicions it is hard to get real evidence. 

Evidence we know of is: multple hospitalisations for broken bones and cuts requiring stitches, breathing difficulties where ambulance has been called a number of times, infections that required hospitalisation, etc.  She has also had a myriad of illness like diabetes, epilepsy, broken bones, cancer amongst others.  Most recently and most alarming is that one of the children has been diagnosed (according to mother) with scizophrenia, conduct disorder and ODD.  It is at the point now that I do not believe one thing she tells me yet I just nod and show mild concern anyway.

It feels like the whole family enables this condition no matter how bizarre it gets.

I have had a discussion with their father who admits that he is concerned.  I feel it is his responsibility to do something about it but the culture of this large family is one of 'keeping the family secrets at all costs.'  I feel I have done everything I can without reporting to the authorities and I suspect if I did the family would keep quiet for fear of losing the children.  My bringing up the topic has resulted in me and my family being shunned by the rest of the family and has been a great cost already, especially for my children effectively losing their grandmother.

It seems impossible!  Would appreciate any advice or encouragement.

I am an Australian 25 year old mom to one 7 year old and I am a survivor of Munchausens Sydrome but was never called this until much later.

My mom was diagnosed Manic Depressive Schitzophrenic and so many other things as her symptoms are incredible severe. I was 'sick' before even being born and was tested constantly for everything, then once born I was medicated constantly with so many medications that I cannot even begin to explain it. Even my formula came on Prescription. I was poked and poked and poked and always diagnosed with this and that and my father was always denied any access to me cos I was 'too sick' I was 5 when I was first started on antidepressants cos I 'slept to much' (prob because he was feeding me antishistimines strong enough to kill a rhino but anyhow) I was always super super skinny cos I am 'allergic' to wheat gluten lactose dust grass cats dogs any animals chlorine and so many more things including asthma preventitives (which convieniently kept me hooked up to oxygen all the time) and then once I was old enough (around 11) I was hospitalised for anorexia (because of my weight and because I didnt have my period yet) after that she started telling people I was mental and I would be admitted to the mental wards where she would do all the 'normal' munchausens crap like make sure I refused to eat drink or take medicine unless she was there. I would scream at the nurses in anger and the doctors because they would never ever listen when I told them I wasnt sick. I was hospitalised again by mom about 2 years ago who put in a 3 day order for me to be admitted to the mental ward again (which coincidentally requires no symptoms) after I had my son. She also told the Dr's that I would harm my son and had me isolated so that I couldnt see anyone but her. I have tried and tried to understand even went along with her lies telling me that I was sick just to try and get her to love me for me but I learned recently that she will never love me she is only ever interested in herself and getting what she needs from me.

It hurts every day but I have made the decision 6 months ago that I will no longer have any contact - not for me but for my son - I caught her beginning to do the same with him and it scared the life out of me. I just wish there was a treatment and that it wasnt such an underground diagnosis. I know that she cant help it.

we are all deeply shocked, saddened and confused by this story.  I would just like to tell you that you have so many people wishing you well in caring for these children and that our thoughts and hearts go out to you.  It was horrible what these children have had to endure but they are blessed that you just happened to be married to the brother of these children, and that you and your husband are doing what you are.  I sincerely hope that you get custody of the child Tracy is now carrying.  My only worry now is not for the future of your children, but for what will happen when she gets deported, I shudder to think she will meet someone, get pregnant and start this nightmare all over again.  Wishing you and your family all the strength and best wishes, my heart goes out to you, including dear Heather. xxx raven