Topic : 10/11 Munchausen Mom

This topic upsets us all, makes us sick, and makes us feel hopeless and at loss of control; we just want to stop this any way we can. However, we cannot demand a hysterectomy by the courts. As women, we have fought for equality for a very long time, and we have finally made gigantic progress when it comes to gaining control over our own bodies. There is no law against alcohol use, tobacco use, or drug use for pregnant women, and no matter how wrong and destructive it is to engage in these behaviors while pregnant, they cannot be made illegal. Control over our bodies is the most basic right we all must have, and if it is taken away in some cases, it will be used in other cases as well, and soon enough, we will be back where we started with our bodies being controlled by others. Although some women do not deserve to have children (which is obviously true in this case we all agree on that, and we would all like her to have a hysterectomy), we have to instead focus on learning more about this disease and getting information out to doctors, nurses, and the public so we can notice the early symptoms and prevent the detrimental outcomes. 

I know someone that I really think is a Munchhausen mom, but I'm not sure what to do about it.  I don't know them very well at all.  I used to teach a couple of her children in church a few years back and she still lives in my neighborhood, but I don't really talk to her much or anything.  Her kids always seem to be sick and have something wrong with them.  Her son was in my class and didn't come much, but he supposedly has autism and he didn't seem like it to me at all.  She home schools her kids because she says they all have learning disabilities and the special education teacher at the school told her that there was nothing wrong with her kids and they didn't need to be in special ed.  I'm not sure if there is anything I can do.  I would hate to wrongly accuse her and I feel bad for people that this happens to, but on the other hand, what if she is hurting her kids?  Please tell me what you think.

Borderline Personality Disorder (BPD) is a psychological disorder characterized by pervasive instability in moods, interpersonal relationships, self-image, and behavior.  This instability often disrupts family and work life, long-term planning, and the individual's sense of self-identity. 

While less known than schizophrenia or bipolar disorder (manic-depressive illness), BPD is more common, affecting 2% of adults (1-33), mostly females.  Some of my favorite books that provide a great introduction and insight are:

Emotional Blackmail:  When the People in Your Life Use Fear, Obligation and Guilt to Manipulate You by Susan Forward OR Why is it Always About You?  The Seven Deadly Sins of Narcissism by Sandy Hotchkiss

Sickened:  The Memoir of a Munchausen by Proxy Childhood by Julie Gregory OR The Psychology of Female Violence:  Crimes Against the Body by Anna Motz MAYBE Whatever Mother Says by Wensley Clarkson

Understanding the Borderline (Parent) Mother:  Helping Her Children Transcend the Intense, Unpredictable and Volatile Relationship by Christine Ann Lawson 

Stop Walking on Eggshells:  Taking Your Life Back...by Paul Mason and Randi Kreger OR Surviving a Borderline Parent:  How to Heal Your Childhood Wounds & Build Trust, Boundaries and Self-Esteem by Kimberlee Roth and Freda Friedman

How to Journal for Therapy:

http://arar.essortment.com/therapyjournali_repu.htm 

Some of the story is typical:  early family conflicts, abusive relationships, feelings of insecurity contributing to destructive behaviors such as cruelty, manipulations, rage attacks, revenge, promiscuity, addictions, self-abuse, and eating disorders.  The extreme behaviors of BPD constitute the high drama in the stories of those who endure its ravages.

There are relationships, marriages and families that are so destructive the only option is for a person to get out.  Get out with the little bit of sanity you may have remaining.  As painful as it may be, make a promise to yourself to leave.  Leave so you can begin a life of healing and recovery.  Leave so you can learn how to live a joyful, peaceful, supportive and fulfilling life.

Hope it helps!

Heather was developmentally on cue when I used to babysit her as a child. I believe that the years of unnecessary torture and poison to her body caused her to be delayed developmentally and emotionally. She is the bravest young lady that I know. -Aunt Kerry Ann