Topic : 10/11 Munchausen Mom

Dr. Phil, I was really glad to hear you offer Pam any assistance she needed in helping Heather. At first I thought you were going to make the statement Pam made about wondering if she was doing the same thing that Tracy did into a big accusatory thing. I'm wondering if maybe Pam just didn't phrase it correctly. Could it be that Pam is overwhelmed with Heather's needs and is questioning herself as to why she really took this on? I have no doubt that Pam has a huge loving heart and that's why she opened it  to Heather and took her away from that horror. She is to be commended and held in high regard for it. I would hate to think she is questioning her own motives because of  periodic  negative feelings in dealing with the difficulties of living with an adult teenager. I have been a provider with The Department Of Children and families and I had a client a lot like Heather. I witnessed first hand how difficult it can be and how overwhelming it can be to the families. She needs a lot of support and help from people that are trained to meet Heather's needs. Living in a household with any teenager is difficult at times. A lot of us have  shaken our heads and said to ourselves, ( Why did I choose to have children again!?) We reassure ourselves that this will pass , they will grow up. They will once again be selfless people that admit they don't know everything!. Can you imagine how it would feel to not be sure you can say that? What if you all you can see is you dealing with a teenager never fully being able to take care of themselves for the rest of your life? I can see where Pam could be asking herself why was she doing this. She needs to know there are people out there that are committed to helping people like Heather become a contributing member of her community. Their goal is to help Heather live a happy, independent, life.  Pam needs reassurance that her motives are from the heart and she deserves the praises she receives. She should not feel guilty for occasionally resenting the difficulties she deals with. I would even go one step further and say if she ever truly feels this is more than she can or is willing to handle, she should not feel bad about admitting it. She took a child out of a horribly abusive situation and showed her love and compassion. She did it because she is a loving person not because she wanted the attention. Heather is old enough to be able to live in an assisted living situation, group home, apartment with twenty four hour supports,etc. all the while continuing to receive the counseling and training she needs. Most  importantly she can continue to be a part of  Pam's family. Pam could continue to take pride while watching Heather develop into a wonderful adult!