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Topic : 11/23 Mild vs. Wild

Number of Replies: 428
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Created on : Friday, October 05, 2007, 11:29:23 am
Author : DrPhilBoard1
Celebrities like Britney Spears, Lindsay Lohan and Nicole Richie are known for wearing skimpy clothes, but does that mean midriffs and micro-minis are right for your daughter? A new debate is brewing over whether women should go mild or wild. First up, Brenda Sharman, the national director of Pure Fashion, believes young ladies should dress modestly. She faces off with four women from the audience who say there’s nothing wrong with showing a little skin. What does Dr. Phil think? Then, Terri says her 8-year-old daughter has never had a Bratz doll and never will, but Melissa has no problem with her 6-year-old twins playing with the provocative pre-teens of plastic. Are Bratz just harmless toys or a negative influence? Plus, Lilly says her 19-year-old daughter, Cassie, dresses like a slut and a hooker, and even walks the dog in high heels! What can Lilly do to get Cassie to cover up, or should she? And, meet an 11-year-old who says her parents are too old-fashioned when it comes to her clothes, and they just need to get with the times. Share your thoughts here.

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November 17, 2007, 12:42 pm CST

Relax

As long as you just relax and set a good example yourself as a mother, your girls should be fine.  My daughter is now 22 and we had always set aside time to watch shows as "What Not to Wear" and we talked about the new skimpy fashions.  She is tall and slim and could pull off any type of fashion she pleased.  She has always had a strong personality and when the low (low) riding jeans and midriff shirts first came into style she didn't like how they looked on other people so she chose not to dress that way.  I guess, now that I am on the other end (grown-up children), my advice is to just spend some time with your girl(s).  The dressing "slutty" thing is just a bid for attention (negative attention is better than no attention) and so I think that if you make time for your kids and always let them know you love them (however they may choose to dress) they will come out okay.  Don't ever forget how short your time is with them before they grow up and be a good role model.  For anyone who has divorced or separated and may be having a problem with "stepmom" buying or handing down inappropriate fashions to your daughter, just remember that YOU are her mother and put your foot down.  You are the one calling the shots and if you just calmly talk to your ex about your concerns, I feel sure he will support you in whatever is best for your daughter(s).  Also, dolls are just dolls, this too shall pass.  Take care and good luck   ~ Old Mamma Bear
 
November 17, 2007, 4:37 pm CST

Abandoned Parental Responsibility

In today' society, many parents rush to embrace the idea that children should be allowed to do what everyone else is doing so that they don't feel left out or ostracized. This relieves them of the obvious confrontations they would have if they held their kids to "rules of behavior".   They say they don't have time or don't have the energy when what they really mean is they can't be bothered.  They are often too concerned with their own daily lives.

 

Everyone else's kids behave badly, dress badly and are bullies...except theirs. The government has added to the fire by not supporting the parents' right to discipline THEIR child so what happens? The child threatens to call the cops and claim child abuse, if the parent so much as raises a voice or hand.  These things I know for sure:

 

(1) not all children are alike; some can be talked to and understand, others you have to give a few good  slaps to the butt before they get the message.  There IS a difference between spanking and abuse, regardless of what those against it say.  I have children who obey me but not their anti-spanking parents...because they know I love them 'cause I tell them and show them but do not tolerate unacceptable behavior. I always tell them (if they are old enough to understand) there is a consequence to that  kind of behavior and let them decide which they want, punishment or spanking.  You'd be surprised at the number of times a spanking is preferred. You'd also be surprised at the times one child will tell another one what I will stand for and what  will bring "Mr. Consequences" out of his resting place. Older children get the respect they deserve, know what is expected of them, pull up their pants and return it generously.

 

(2) Parents are supposed to be the adults and should know that they lead by example! Children do not make decisions for the family or pay the bills.  That being the case, the parent is in control of what comes into the home and what goes out.  What happened to the days when if a child brought something into the house, a detailed explanation had to be given as to why it was there and then the parent made a call  to find out the truth?  If I had a new skirt that my mother didn't buy, she wanted to know where it came from and where I got the money.  It's a trip to see mothers crying that their child has physically abused them, does whatever it wants or stays out all night. WHERE ARE THE PARENTS???

 

(3) As a child's first and main example of human behavior, parents must do their job to the  very best of their ability from the time a child is born.  They are llittle imitators...they grow up doing what they see being done!

 
November 17, 2007, 4:40 pm CST

teenage girls dressing slutty

     I am not a teen.  But when I was,mom made sure I looked like a lady before I went to school. I did not wear makeup not even lipstick till I was out  of high school. I had a body like Marilyn Monroe and long well shaped legs. Mini skirts back then were about 2 inches above the knee.  I was able to wear mine1 inch above the knee. They are simply asking to get raped wearing them where the rearend crack shows.  The laws will change in favor of the boys.  It  is sexy too hide your body and make them quess what you look like. The mother's of the girls have no backbone. Or they would not allow this to go on.  Mom used to say are all of the girls doing it. She would ask us to name them. We would name about 5. Mom would then say that is not all of them. Forget It. Case closed .  Parents need to take back their authority and make sensible lifestyles. They made the children, step up to the plate and raise them. Don't let the babysitter's raise them, that is not their job. Think about this for awhile, I may be back with more.
 
November 17, 2007, 4:47 pm CST

bratz dolls

Quote From: forc_k_i

 I think that those bratz dolls are the worst toy that has ever come out for a little girl. They only promote that you have to be a skinny slutty looking thing for people to like you. I would never let my kids play with them and when thier birthdays and christmas come I tell everyone not to buy those dolls for them or they will end up back at the store or in the trash. I don't think that any little firl should be promoted to such a dispicable toy.
   Boycott the bratz dolls or anything else that look like them. if they don't sell, they go out of business.
 
November 17, 2007, 4:49 pm CST

mild vs wild

So silly.  If this is considered a problem, someone needs to get a life.  Most of the ridiculous young things wearing midriffs and low cuts have got rolls of chubby baby fat hanging out.  I can't imagine that anyone thinks this is attractive!  Its another " I just want to express myself and be different"  Never happens, these kids now a days wouldn't know how to have an original thought,  or idea.  TV,  video games are their higher power and whatever it says goes.  What happened to imagination, honesty, friendship, truth??  Gone  with the wind, maybe never to return unless the adults start taking back control.  NO means just that, not, "well maybe I should give in so my kid doesn't hate me."  They hate anyway, its what kids do, for Gods sake people get a grip.  The people who had job ethics are too old too work any more.  The day of giving and keeping your word is going fast and minding our own business said by-by with the advent of instant news.   Sad, Sad. Sad.
 
November 17, 2007, 4:50 pm CST

11/23 Mild vs. Wild

     If that guy is confessing to several murders. No brainer, get the police to arrest him before he does it again.
 
November 17, 2007, 4:54 pm CST

11/23 Mild vs. Wild

Quote From: mimilynn

Let me ask you this If you had a shape like Haley Barry would you cover up? Anywhere you look sex sells it is part of the times! If you looked like Eva Longoria would you cover up? I think you can dress classy & sexy if you have it flaunt it. The people that complain are usually not in shape, overweight, and older.  Some "Fantasy night" clothes are trendy & cute. I don't think it is appropriate for someone 300lbs or out of shape to wear a micro mini but someone like Paris I think she looks great! Some things aren't appropriate to wear  to church or a school function but pleeze lighten up and get with the times you dress how you feel comfortable and sexy whether it is leaving things to the imagination or not!
I did have a great body before kids and yes, I DID cover up.  Why?  Because I wanted men to see me for who I was, not for the body  that I had.  A lot of women complain that all men can think about is sex.  Gee, I wonder why?  It's like putting an alcoholic into a bar and tell him that he can't think about drinking.  While I'm sure some guys still fantized about me (as they would any woman in their age range), I never had a problem having an intellectual conversation with a guy without him staring at my chest (and yes, I am well endowed).

Now, I'm not talking head to toe, muslim style modesty, but c'mon.  Some of the styles out there cover less then a basic bra and high cut briefs would.  And yet, not too many people would walk around in those.

I wonder what kind of conversation we will be having when little nipple covers are the new fashion.  Those who advocate leaving a "little to the imagination" by wearing a bikini top would probably be told to lighten up. :/
 
November 17, 2007, 6:38 pm CST

Bratz Dolls

I hate those dolls.  I guess that just sums up my opinions right there!  My girls will never be allowed to play with them.  I think they are ugly and not a good example of good morals.  I think it tells the young girls that it's okay to have almost everything showing and you shouldn't leave anything to imagination.  I'm okay with  some skin showing, the Lord knows that when I was a teenager I showed my bellly a little and wore short shorts and low cut shirts.  I still do to this day, but I wear a lacy camosial undernethe it.  Unless it is just me adn my husband going out adn we're all dresssed up then he likes me to show a little more cleavage. 
 
November 17, 2007, 6:49 pm CST

11/23 Mild vs. Wild

I am 22 years-old.  I can't say that I was given a whole lot of attention.  Not that I had a bad childhood it's just my parents had two other childern and i understood that.  I didn't get mad and start dressing like a slut.  It's all about what your child thinks of themselves.  If she thinks she is sexy she is not going to be afraid to show it.  People are going to dress how they want to dress reguardless if they are 16 or 86.  That is something no brat doll is going to change.  She needs to learn to respect herself before she can except to ge it.  My advice is to talk to your daugters about RESPECT!  If she wants respect she is not going to get it dressing like she doesn't!

 
November 17, 2007, 7:09 pm CST

where did responsibility go????

PLEEEEAAASSEE! why is this even a discussion??? When did we as women decide that children shiould be miniature adults???  That being said, why do we feel the need to be half naked ? Where is our pride in ourselves and our bodies? My 19 yr old daughter is not allowed to dress in revealing clothing as long as she lives in my home... We just had a HUGE discussion about this in my house...
 
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