Topic : 11/23 Mild vs. Wild

I think the problem is likely that girls (and women, including me!) tend not to realize how much men actually think about them in a sexual way. I mean both the young 11-year olds, and the girl in her 20's. I think if you have a show like this again you should have a panel of "typical" guys, ranging from young to old, hot to creepy. Or poll the men in the audience. Nothing will make them want to cover up more than some old guy creeping on them! haha!

It used to be that if a guy wanted to see a "T and A" show, he had to be 21 yrs. old and go to a strip bar or a "gentleman's club".  Now it would seem he only need go to a shopping mall on a Saturday afternoon.

 

I understand that a girl should be able to dress as she pleases and not be a target for a man with less than good intentions.  But things are not always as they should be, especially in this society.  Armed with that knowledge, why would young ladies put themselves in jeopary.  Right or wrong, people do judge one by their appearance.  These ladies can, of course, exercise their rights to dress as they please... but can they then be offended if some guy makes unwanted advances on them?

 

Maybe their attire should answer the question... "Is what you see what you get!"

 Well I see people wering innapropriate things all the time and I think that as far as Dolls go I do actually see 12 and 13 year old girls wearing clotes that look suspiciously like the Bratz outfits. i think that youth seems to be leaving the actual youth, what happend to climbing trees and getting dirty, it left so quickly. But lets not stop at the girls what about the young boys that wear the underwear above the jeans, isn't that innapropriate too. however, as far as older girls are concerned, they should know by now what message different outfits will send out so let them choose. As far as wearing things to protect men, why should i have to think of them when I get dressed in the morning when on a hot day they are walking around without shirts on, don't women get turned on too? shouldn't they cover up too? And I have to admit, although contrary to popular beleif, it does get so hot in Canada that sometimes Iwant to walk around naked... but i don't. However when the guys get to walk around with their shirts of i will wear a spagetti strap shirt and show my bra straps because im big enough there that I can't really wear no bra and I'm pretty sure everyone know I wear one anyways. Allow people to wear what they want but I think that we should be watching what influences our younger people because theiry minds are indeed very suggestible.

"A female dresses as she wants to be treated" this is the comment that I heard as a young man

growing up. And when I see The young girls and women dressing on the wild side I'm reminded

of the saying "everones doing it".  I remember wanting to do something , what I don't remember,

and my father said to me "if everone jumped off a bridge would I."

We want our freedom but it comes with responsibilitys. The impression a female transmits by her

dress on the wild side, from a mans point of view would "an easy mark"

Whether we as girls like it or not the way we dress sends a message to all people around us about our self esteem, and our individual sense of self respect. Although this isn't fair, first impressions make a large difference in how people perceive us. It is our responsibility as valuable, and intelligent women to set the standard for how we want others, especially men, to treat us. I am a nineteen year old college freshman and I understand how hard our culture makes it to be modest, but the things that are most worthwhile require effort. Although it's frustrating to choose not to wear what everyone else is wearing, the reward is so much greater. I promise it becomes easier and easier with time to pick out beautiful clothes that are modest.

     While it is every girl's choice to wear what she wants, not everything out there is appropriate. The choice is not the issue. The issue is whether or not we are respecting ourselves as women when we dress the impress by showing off what we've got. If we hope to be powerful women who make a difference in this world, we cannot do it by giving away or showing off our most valuable assets-our bodies. Our source of power lies in our ability to show the world that we not only respect and value ourselves, but that we are also so worth the world's respect as well. I believe it is so important to dress attractively without dressing to attract attention. Our sense of self worth must come from within, and not from the looks we get from others. I know that boys are very visually stimulated and pay more attention, for the most part, to girls who flaunt themselves, but any boy who is more interested in your body than your heart isn't worth your time.

   I understand that it can be lonely when you feel different or left out, but dressing modestly creates a circle of respect in which you respect yourself and so others do too. I promise all you girls out there that there are boys who appreciate girls who respect and cherish them by dressing in a beautifully modest way. Because in dressing modestly we are not only valuing ourselves, but we are also respecting those boys around us who can stumble easily in their purity if we don't do our part to protect them.

Dr. Phil,

 

I am sick and tired of people blaming their ill mannered selfish children on the world. It is not some rapper, music artist, doll, or any person out of your home fault that your child is a good for nothing trashcan. It is your fault as the parent that your child is totally messed up. It is no one else’s fault that your child isn’t aware of the rights and wrongs in life, because it is the mother and father’s responsibly to see to it that their child enter the world a good sight, and not a blemish to be placed in solid brick walls of a prison.

 

You have once again managed to totally angrier me, because the one person on your show who spoke as a true parent and mother, is the very one you really didn’t listen too. She said what I said that if you do not buy the clothes, or allow the clothes and behavior in your home. Then the child can’t wear them. If you show you child in behavior and self-manner that this is the way a woman behaves in public. Then your daughter will do as you do.

 

As for the woman and her discussion of the male and female mind. Let me remind her that it is not women’s fault on how men think and act. To say that a woman’s dress is the reason for sexual thoughts. Is to say that a woman who has been raped is the woman’s fault. No it is not. Rape has not a dang thing to do with clothes, manner, or anything but the fact that that he or she wanted power over someone, and they took it.

 

I am 31 years old, and no one tells me how dress. No one has that right since I turned 18 years old, and the woman who thought she should have that right should have used that right when the behavior first became a sight. She should not have allowed it when the child was 10 or 11 years old. When the girl was in the 8th grade dressing as she does now. That’s when she should have been taking a stand. Not when the girl is now a woman with a job. She lost the time and right. So she should do as she did when she should have been speaking. Just SHUT UP!!! And leave her daughter alone.

I think it's really ironic, that we blame this on the media, magazines, and these dolls, and then talk about how it's a generation issue. These young girls are getting this image from the media, it's in style, it is a generation thing, but we have to remember which generation is producing these magazines, dolls, and media. It's sure not the teens, its the same generation that is accusing these girls of dressing to provocative. My generation, im seventeen, was raised seeing this sort of image as a norm from the  generation that is accusing these girls of dressing "slutty". I understand that it's not everyone in this older generation who has set this put these magazines and this image out there, but it's not our fault we grew up with seeing this as in style.

     After watching today's episode "Mild vs. Wild" I felt like I had something to say to women (and men) about this topic.  Women should NOT tailor their attire to the views or feelings a man (or woman) might have about them.  If  some men get too excited by a woman who shows off her body that is his responsibility to control not hers.

The comment that Cassie's mother made about being fearful her daughter will get raped because of the way she dresses absolutely floored me.  A mindset like that reinforces the idea that it is a woman's fault that she was raped; because she was dressed too provocatively.  As women we should not dress a certain way because we are afraid of getting raped!   We really need to reconsider  some of our ideologies about women's issues, I fear we are moving backwards sometimes.

What a person chooses to put on their body is their business, no one else's.

I think it has gotten to the point where even young women, never mind young girls, have no sense of what is appropriate to wear in which situations.  Three specific examples:

 

I have done work in the oil and gas industry and, as a result, have worked in the field and stayed in camps with 200 to 300 men.  At all times I was treated with the utmost respect.  During one of my visits, two young ladies arrived in the field to talk to the men about the company's new "anti harrassment" policy.  They wore skin tight tops with spaghetti straps (bra straps showing) and skirts (my "field" wardrobe was typically jeans and golf shirts, no skin showing below the buttons on my shirt).  I finally asked the men I was working with if anyone was commenting on the attire of the young women and how they were presenting themselves.  The answer was, "Oh yeah."  And it was not flattering.  They were there for a business purpose and should not have been dressed in such a way as to distract from the purpose of their vist.

 

Secondly, last year my brother was critically injured and in the ICU.  One of the ICU nurses was wearing her scrubs rolled down to where my c-section scar is!  As pretty as her tummy was and as pleasant as she was, I do not think it was appropriate to be showing her tummy (and displaying even more of it as she reached over my brother to adjust various pieces of equipment and monitors).  Just not appropriate or professional.

 

Thirdly, my seven year old son started junior high this fall.  The high school has dress codes which include:  no skin showing between what is worn on the bottom half and what is worn on the top half, no spagetti straps, no bra straps and when the girls' arms are straight at their sides, the skirts must not be shorter than the bottom of their finger tips.  FINALLY - young people are getting a sense of appropriate attire for the situation.

 

I think if we do not instill some understanding in young people of what attire is appropriate in which situations, we will have a generation in ten or 20 years who will be hiring consultants to teach them in much the same way many of our generation had to take etiquette classes because they were not taught basic manners and did not know how to behave in the business world.  And, as business becomes more international, we really NEED to be aware of appropriate attire because what our young people are wearing today (including men) may not be acceptable internationally

 

So, some lattitude as Dr. Phil has suggested, but also working to create a sense of timing in what to wear when.

I couldn't agree with you more!! I think our youth today are in rebellion by the way they disrespect their parents authority, and are against anything moral or decent. Children today are not raised or taught anything about God or the standards in which we are to live. We wonder why the Ten Commandments and anything that's good is being taken out of our schools and state and government buildings? Because we have a lot of immoral people running our Nation. When you take the LIGHT OUT what replaces it? DARKNESS! So we haven't seen nothing yet. Our children are influenced everyday by what they see and hear in the home, and by the idols they see in Hollywood. I thank the Lord for the few I see that wants to live a good moral life. It gives a little hope that maybe someone will make a difference and some of the sleazy mini skirts and Daisy Duke shorts will be BAND from the public. I see more and more young people wearing their PJ'S in public places and don't care what they look like. I was sad by Dr. Phil's answer to the parents on his show Friday. It's the parents responsibility how a 11 year old dresses. If they want to dress naked then they can do it when they leave the nest. That's why we have so many rapes today. I seen two (THUGS) MEN in Wal-mart eying to young girls, probably 12 or 13 who had on short shorts and I heard them say( MAN WHAT I COULD DO TO THAT). It does draw the wrong attention and places your children in harms way. They looked like the type you wouldn't want your child left alone with. The way young people dress today is immodest and they are starting younger and younger. We are in trouble and our young people will be rebelling. It's time for the PARENTS TO WAKE UP! It has nothing to do with living in the past, IT HAS ALL TO DO WITH LIVING A PURE CHASTE LIFE. If you're a God fearing Christian you know what I'm talking about. The Bible tells us plainly how we are to live and DRESS! MODEST APPAREL (1Timothy2:9).  Some parents don't care so I was glad to see the parents on the show that did. But I'm sure the young girl heard what she wanted to hear on the show, so now she will dress the way she wants to.