Topic : Living on One Income

We had been fortuante enough a two income family till 1999. My husband was on his way to Botswana with brethren from the church when they were involved in a head on collission. My husband was the only one in the car (passenger in the back behind the driver's seat) who was injured seriously. In the end it came out that he had sustained brain damage and was boarded from work in 2000 when they discovered that he could not perform simple little duties. He gets a very small pension each month but we were paid out by what we call here in South Africa "Road Accident Fund" but because of having brain damage he was placed under curatorship (Incapable of managing his own money affairs).  He has been declared unable to work  so he does the housework and has become the househusband. His monthly pills are very expensive and he has to have these otherwise we have a few problems. His medication has to be paid for cash. 

I run a very small accounting practice (I do not employ anyone as I am very fussy as to how the work is done!) so I work about 13 hours a day. On a few occassions I have worked right through the night. I have even had a client who would come and discuss things with me and leave at 3 am in the morning or would phone anytime between midnight and 2 am. But that was no problem to the family as they were used to it.  

In July 2005 I started feeling ill but put it down to the cold weather. (I will add that I had paid a fortune to go to see a Helmut Lotti show in July and couldn't attend because of being ill. So that tells you how ill I must have felt missing that concert - I still have the ticket and cry over that as he's one of my favourite singers!) Anyway I carried on but found that I was working shorter hours and sleeping more. In August 2005 I was diagnosed with cancer and have subsequently had 5 operations to contain it. November I went to a Reunion of the Rhodesians for two weeks but because of lack of funds my husband couldn't go with so I went on my own. I was tired the whole time and did not enjoy the holiday at all. By the time I came home I slept constantly for the rest of the month. December I started doing a few hours a day but this was just not enough for me to catch up on the work so everything got way way behind. By February I was feeling better and could put in a few more hours a day but still way behind work. So my motto is No work No pay. Hence my poor husband had to try to carry the load while I started getting better. Now in June after 8 operations (like I said 5 for cancer and 3 shoulder operations) I am so behind with the work. Husband wants me to give up work but I know that I couldn't just sit around all day doing nothing. I"ve had to cut up three credit card and make arrangements to pay the bare minimum on them, my son, due to his car being written off in December by someone jumping a red robot, uses my car  so pays half toiwards it. We are up to our ears in debt and I can barely pay the minimum amounts on the credit cards. But I have let all my creditors know my predicament and a few have been very obliging. We do not live an extravagant life - we never go out for meals and hardly ever had take aways. There are times that we do not have food in the house and live on toast.  

There is one other problem, my sons who are 26 and 27 are still at home. We have tried telling them that they need to leave home but they say they worry about us as they don't know how we would cope. They do pay board and lodging but not half as much as they should. I just know that if they  were to leave my hubby and I would be able to live an easier life as we can survive on one meal a day. 

My last operation was 13 June and I came out of hospital 15th June but am not able to do as much work as I would like to because of the shoulder and having to have it in a sling for  a few hours a day. I just get so depressed when I see the bills coming in. I have no creditability left with the bank although I did explain the situation to them. The only good thing that they did was to reversed unpaid items charges. I need to give my car back to the finance company but then that puts my son in a predicament of how he will get to work and back. We are just in a catch 22 situation here at the moment. The bills are starting to come in from the various doctors which are shortfalls the medical aid don't pay and very very soon the medical aid will have finished so that means that I have to try to find the cash to pay for my medication. 

It's very difficult but somehow we get through from month to month. Don't know how because by the 10th of the month my hubbysmoney is finished. 

Any suggestions as to how to get out of this mess we are in? 

Pickles 

Hi there, just thought that it wiould be better to do one of 2 things: Either tell your sons they have to move or they have to pay more board, because I believe that most parents who love their children , have done alot for them and so if the parents need the help the children shopuld be there for them and go out of their way to do more than their share to help out in times like this. 

Time to step up kids! 

I live in Australia and have recently joined a website called www.simplysavings.com.au it is a life saver. Having a family of six it has saved me hundreds of dollars a month. It has thousands of tips to save money. Take a look you will not be disappointed.  

Good luck   

Lisa  

hey, just looking at everyone's posting and felt the need for remote conversation. I too am livng on one income more by design than on purpose. Our day care plans got scrubbed when Grandma got sick, and since Day care costs are out of control as are gas prices, my income would only pay for those two items sooo...why work (outside the home that is)? To be honest, I was sort of hoping for a way to stay at home, but with our debt we didn't really see a way to do it until we had to. It is so very dificult to live on one income and get caught up on the debt you had prior to having a baby.   

I have been doing the secret shopper thing and am trying to get set up to start selling some of out collectibles (i can't spell tonight) on e-bay, but then where do I go? I've considered working at nights once my husband gets home, but that worries him, He doesn't want me to get burned out. I truly appreciate my husband, I think that's why I wory about him working too hard. Yes, I know as stay at home moms we work out butts to the bone, trust me....I KNOW! I just want to feel like I am contributing more to pay our debt down and finally feel like we are getting ahead. How do you do this when working isn't a possibillity?   

I married at 19 and a child followed quickly.  I had a high school diploma and one semester of college.  The time period was during the Vietnam War - for us late 60's and early 70's.  My husband was in the airforce.  We were in the Philappines at first and I couldn't get a job at the time.  I quess I could have, but I didn't think I had the skills plus my husband began to act as if I didn't have a brain.  When we were stationed at Edwards Air force in the middle of the dessert, I found a job 20 miles away.  I used to drive 20 miles to work, 20 miles home, and then 15 miles to pick up my child at daycare (on the air base) and then home.  My husband took the child there in the morning.  I found a job working at a finance company.  I didn't make much but it did help.  The main thing it did was teach me that I did have skills (I took typing in high school so I could type my term papers in college).  I had another child in California. 

When we got out of the airforce, I did the same thing in my home town for awhile (the pay was less than in California).  I left there after 18 months to work in a mortgage company.  I made more at that job - not much but more.  After 3 months, my boss quit and since he was the only commercial lender and they were not replacing him, I lost my job.  As I left, I mentioned to someone in the building what happened and asked if they knew someone hiring.  As turned out, she worked for an engineering firm and I went to work there making even more money.  I worked there 7 years.  Later my husband and I divorced and I was a single mom.  I earned enough (barely) to support 2 kids.  I had to fight for child support - but I did and I got it.  I later married a wonderful person and was able to quit work and go back and finish college.  Then I started working again doing what I did before and eventually found a better job and then a better job. 

I guess the moral is to start off small - even if the pay gets wiped out to part-time status.  Look at each job as a step on a ladder.  Buy your work clothes at a charity thrift store - I've found some absolutely beautiful suits in them.  Most work places now are casual wear. 

Get rid of your checking account until you have more money.  Don't use credit cards.  Don't borrow money unless it's for a house.  Your house payment should not exceed 25% of your monthly net take home pay.  Fix up your old care until you can save money to buy a good used car.  Pay cash.  At first, everything will seem slow in coming, but step by step your income will rise.  You have to just take that first step and commit to improving your situation. 

Good luck, 

jl4ever