Topic : Living on One Income

Hi, my name is karen. I am married to the sweetest guy ever, and have two beautiful children. My husband is blind in one eye and always will be and he works 40 hours or more a week and we only live off of his paychecks. I cannot work because I hurt myself on the job 4 yrs ago and have pain in the neck that has become worse over time and it gives me really bad headaches and it makes me sick physically and mentally and I have told the drs and lawyers that and no one seems to hear me. I have tried to apply for aid, and they a whole bunch of documents and some of the stuff I have to wait on because we don't have the money, and I have tried everything to get income and we do not do drugs or gamble. We just want to make our kids happy and be able to buy a house some day. Any advice or encouraging words appreciated.

Thanks karen

Please do not worry about the wedding...my husband and I were very stressed out before we got married, about how to afford it, and we ended up driving to Las Vegas and got married for $40. We had a party at our apartment when we came back, and we cooked all the food ourselves (his best friend is a chef, and he helped us buy the food wholesale, and cook everything) another of his friends is a bartender and he provided all the drink. My aunt is a great seamstress and she made my wedding dress, which was copied from a magazine, and turned out really nicely. I think the material was about $35-45. Now 8 years later we are still happily married and I stay at home with our 3 year old.  With the money we saved by not having a wedding we bought a condo right before we got married (a HUD repossesion) but it is a 1 bedroom, so we are a little cramped, but we have a sofa bed in the living room for nights when we need um, privacy ;) The only way I could stay home was to keep living in the 1 bedroom until I go back to work, so right now I am taking care of a 1 year old for $600 a month.  The extra money helps- it pays the car note on my husband's car.  We are lucky enough to live near the major theme parks in So Cal. so we buy yearly passes (Disneyland is only $110 for a whole year, Knott's is $45) with some of our tax return, but we always pack our own lunch and snacks. It helps to be doing something really fun like meeting Peter Pan if you have to eat carrot sticks, and our daughter doesn't know the difference.  As far as other money I earn, I do all of her shopping at the thrift stores- sometimes I even get things with the tags still on, and I keep a lookout for the upscale brands, and if they are in great shape I can resell them on eBay. I have managed to save $1500 in a savings account buying babygap and carter's at the thrift store and washing them and reselling on eBay.  I potty trained her at 18 months so that we could stop using diapers, (check out the book Toilet Training without Tears) and we buy all our food at Costco warehouse store- they also have great deals on paper products and toiletries, especially for women.  I hope any of this can help you, if you've heard it all before, then feel free to disregard:)  But seriously, remember, your wedding day is important, but all the days that come after it are just as important, as long as you love each other and can work together, it doesn't matter if you get married at the Ritz or City Hall.  Good luck to you...

Go to the web site HUD; just like mentioned already, and then you will see all the programs available for first time buyers. Also, go to www.habitat.org/cd/local/  and learn about a program for low income families who can build their own home and buy it for half or less then half of the market value would be. Also, another option is the  HMBI who manage numerous single-family homes across the country for the HUD, and other government and independent agencies. That web site is, www.hmbireo.com  . Hopefully this will give you a good start on your dream.

Margaret Perez    

Getting pregnant IS a choice MOST of the time.  You are young and ignorant and make the choice at the wrong time maybe, but it's still a choice. 

It is not ignorant of her to clearly see that a lot of people on this board are hoping for a handout, wishing to get rich, praying to find a job where they can make thousands from home, winning the lottery, etc, etc.  People spend their entire lives hoping, wishing, praying for something magical to fix all their problems and they never even realize they're doing it.  There is no need to know the "details" of why they think this way to know they do.

Without a plan, I don't see how anything can work or "happen" the way we "want" it to.

Get a plan and stick to it, if I can, anybody can.  Something many don't consider is once your *plan* has been established, things become easier.  Time passes, your income grows, your mortgage doesn't.  If you PLAN not to have credit card debt in 10years, then in 2 years, you won't have those monthly bills.  It would be at that time that you can reward yourself.   We all think we DESERVE what we all think "God has planned for us".  That is NOT how it works.  God wants YOU to work hard to ATTAIN what you want.

<<<Divorce, death and even pure ignorance can bring us to a place that we would have never have thought possible. >>>  That is all a part of life, expect it, get used to it, plan for it. 

It won't happen over night, don't expect it to be easy.  Don't get into relationships if you think you can get to *know* a person overnight either!  Fix your own problems before co-mingling with another's problems!

Responsibility is such a foreign concept in this country!!!

Call me mean-spirited if you want, but I'll see that as you can't handle the truth.  I am not a regular on this board but what I have read here shows that everytime the truth is spoken, it is met with name calling like "mean-spirited".  Think about it, how can you put it into words otherwise when you are trying to get someone to believe something is hard when they prefer to think it's easy (ie, handouts)?  There are not many *nice* ways to get people thinking. 

I am a single mother that had a career with the Detroit Fire Department and was injuried on the job.  The City thanks for my services is 44.35 a month to live off of this is consider my duty disability retirement for all my years of services with the city.  I loved my career and feel screw by the City of Detroit, how is anyone suspose to live off of this kind of income?  I have a 16 yr old son to support which I am not doing too good of a job.  This school year I could not get him any new clothes or used clothes due to my income and this is a major thing for a teenager, just makes me feel less of a mother since I cannot give him things he needs.  I have had 3 major back surgeries with metal put into my spine and a cage and screws, which inables me to not do much of anything.  I have put in for Social Security and have been turn down, but recently got a hearing with a judge and my attorney said that things went well, but I still do not know the outcome of this hearing.  The public think that just because you work for a major city fire department that you get paid good money even when you are injuried on the job, untrue.  I see how everyone help out the New York Fire fighters and there families and I am glad for them, but what about the others that go unseen?  I would not change my career because i loved my job I so much loved helping people in the city, but when it comes time for me needing help there is no help out there.  I even went to Social services and was turn down for help, they said all I can get is 33.00 for food for a month for my 16 yr old son, well anyone raising a 16 yr old son they eat that a day, so thats not much help at all.  They said I made too much to get any other services, now I am on the verge of getting evicted from the apartments I just moved into 3 months ago due to that I lost my house due to my job injury and I don't know what else to do.  If anyone has any suggestions please let me know.  I have to have more back surgery and now I am putting that off due to that I have to make sure I have a roof over my sons head and myself.  Being a Civil Servant for the City of Detroit was great but not after I hurt myself its been nothing but stress and worries.

Michelle Wilson

I would rather my kids have high self-esteem and KNOW for a fact that his/her clothing is not a reflection of who he or she is.  I would like for my kids to read comments like that and think "oh, she's talking about  people who place value on another human being according to what he or she is wearing".  My kids won't follow the crowd but yet their self-esteem will still be high and they will still be good in sports and other competitions - that's what I want for my kids.