Topic : Lying about Money/Spending

FLAMINGO14......Sounds to me like your daughter is the only one making any money to amount to anything!! Boy was the timing bad to get pregnant again!! Well......too late now....but I would recommend to your daughter NOT to get pregnant again until they are more financially stable. I'm sure she knows.....there are ways to avoid getting pregnant.

HUSBAND......needs to make his JOB......finding a JOB!! He is married now and his FIRST responsibility is to his FAMILY!! It doesn't matter that it may not be in his "chosen" field....he needs to bring money into the household....PERIOD!! He has a College education, he needs to use it. That alone would remove a terrific amount of stress from your daughter. HE NEEDS TO GET A JOB!!!

MOM......you need to let your daughter know that you will be there for her when the baby is due.....don't give me excuses.....if you must.....take a Bus to Seattle. She needs to know that she can count on you. Give her all the support you can. Sounds to me like she has been a strong woman most of her life and this is no time for her to give up. Give her encouragement.....only "positive" words and do not remind her of any "Medical Risk" when having the baby.

ADVICE.......you may recommend that your daughter visit one of these Message Boards and seek help. There are several that give great "financial" advice and I am sure they could help her....at the very least.....point her in the right direction.

MY OPINION.....anyone who has been out of work for a year is not trying very hard to find a JOB. I don't care about his "sole proprietorship" business.....it does not produce enough money to support the family.....he is using it as an excuse to avoid doing what he should be doing.....and that is.....accepting RESPONSIBILITY!!

What a miserable life! LOL 

I got in this relationship with a man, that I had been seeing for 18 months.

We moved in together Feb this year.  He bought a house and put it in my name, says this is his way of showing his committment to me!?!  Ok.

I wasn't working at the time, and it bothered me cause I really wanted my own money to spend as I needed and wanted to.

He told me that His money was my money, and did want to put me on his account, which I chose not to, because that was too fast for me.

Well, here it is 8 months later, I have been making sure the bills are paid, I pay them right when we receive them, and taking care of things around here.

Well, he signs me 2-3 checks each pay period (2x a month) and I usually will fill them out to me, and get the cash and use as I want and need, includes any expenses that may come up for the house, and groceries, gas, etc.

Ok, he sees a bank statement and there were checks that I had written out to myself, and they totaled 3100.00 for a month.  He was IRATE, and said I stoled money from him, etc.  Now, mind you I have every single receipt !!

He has been so upset about it, he won't listen to me and doesn't even want to see the receipts.  Whats up with that? 

I do love him, but he says he isnt' sure he loves me and that he cannot trust me. That kills me, didn't realize I had been doing anything wrong, and for him to be so harsh? 

I don't know what to do. I am torn. I told him that if it was my intention to steal from him, which it isn't in my nature to do, that is why it tore me apart when he said that, I would have done a much better job and RAN....LOL

Is it fair that he is being so hard on me?  

I have never known a couple that if they have any type of problems, for them to turn on each other, with name calling, etc. and not try to "resolve" the problem.

What do you think?  I need some feedback as to whether I am stupid, or what??

My fiance is a bit of a spender and is horrible at managing money.  I will definitely have to be the accountant in our marriage ;)  However, I don't mind this at all because it's I what I do best (I'm a business major after all!).  When we first met, he was over $11,000 in debt...most of it was on his 4-wheeler and a bank loan he took out to buy his Jeep.  He also owed $900 on his cell phone (he claims his job ran up his cell phone bill).  The rest was various smaller accounts such as one credit card account and a PayPal account.

Since then, he let his 4-wheeler go...which helped a LOT!  And he payed off his PayPal account.  Now he still owes the cell phone bill and the bank note, about $420 on his credit card, and about $400 to the college for some courses he's taken.  A while back he'd been blowing money on hunting supplies (he's an avid hunter!) and it caused him to get WAY behind on his bills.  I had a serious talk with him and we made an agreement to both get out of debt before we get married (I'm a college student and have some college expenses to pay off).  As an incentive, I told him that I would put off the wedding until he gets out of debt...however long that takes is up to him!  ;)  lol!   Well, he's been doing much better since then.  However, he has recently done some backsliding.  He went and spent $120 on a rifle that his boss sold him.  He told my dad about it and asked him not to tell me because I "would be mad."  Well my dad told my mom about it, and my mom of course told me.  He says that the $120 was given to him by his grandmother to help him pay his school expenses, and that he just used the money from his paycheck to cover the school expenses instead.  BUT now he does not have the money to make his credit card payment on time!  And besides, we had a deal!  Neither one of us was gonna spend money on anything we didn't need!  All our money was supposed to be dedicated to getting out of debt so that we could get married and start fresh!  I was gonna have all my college expenses paid off and he was gonna have all his debts paid off!  Our wedding is scheduled for March 15 and he doesn't make much money at his job, so he can't afford to be frivolous!

What angered me so much is that he made me feel like not only could I not trust him with money, but I also could not trust him to be honest with me about money!  I was so angry with him that I called his grandmother and told her where the money went that she gave him!  I might should not have done this, but I was so angry and I felt like she had a right to know. 

I know that this will make things difficult in our marriage, but I also know that these difficulties can be managed with set guidelines and communication.  But any opinions and advice would be very much appreciated.

I have taken my husband off the account-he still could write checks off my account!   He also would write counter checks and not put them down in the check book register.   We bank in a small town bank.

He then hides overdrafts, and bank statements from me, so I have no idea where the account is even at?  He helps get it straighten out by going to the bank and getting another loan, just to put us in the same position 3 months down the road.  I am at my wits end with stressing over the money and 3 kids to raise and a huge mortgage to pay.

He has been doing this all through our 14 years of marriage.  I have talked to his parents about it, no help there.  Taken him off the checking account, open a new account.  Doesn't matter, her writes checks and hides things from me.

I found my husband typing up a fake invoice for a hotel stay to send into his employer.  He will be  reimbursed $120.00 for this. Needless to say, he did not stay at the hotel or incurr these charges.  I confronted him and he basically told me to butt out.  I asked him if he was the employer; how would

he like someone doing that to him.  He basically acted like they "owe" him, because he "loses" money

and spends more than what they allow him for reimbursement of his travel/work expenses.  I am not

okay with this and makes me feel uneasy being married to someone who is "dishonest".  How do I

deal with this?  Do I just leave it alone and realize people have different views?

Not when it comes to issues that involve both of you (money). What else is he lying about or not telling you. How can he tell you to butt out... how about GET OUT