Topic : 10/12 Homecoming Shooting

I've got news for you. Dr. Phil can not take anybody's gun from them. The second amendment to the constitution gives the right to have a gun to anyone who wants to take advantage of it. And because

you have this unbalanced hate of an inantimate object does not give you or anyone else the right to decide that gun owners have to give up their guns.

And because of your useless hate for guns you denied your sons the fun of playing cowboys and indians and cops and robbers and all the other games that kids played during that time. So their grandmother bought them toy guns. The operative word here is "toy". Kids would play with these toys and use their imagination and have a great time indoors and outside. My brothers and I did. You didn't even want them to pick up a stick that resembled a gun.  There are more things than a stick that could cause a child to lose an eye.  Bravo to you. You denied your children fun.

Live by the sword, die by the sword.  Carrying a weapon makes you a target for those gangs, not particularly protected.  You sound lik a vigilante. 

I wish all of this would focus on the real issue here--domestic violence. 

There were so many people who said they were surprised that this could happen in a small town.  In small towns, we all know who is not being nice to their spouses/significant others.  We all ignore it as long as the violence stays in their  house and does not "bother" us.  This guy broke the unwritten rule and took others with the girlfriend.  Crazies do not make 5 days of national news by "just" killing their wife/girlfriend. Those ones are lucky to get a blurb in the local paper/newscast.  "We just don't talk about those things."

We turn our heads and pull our children away from people "making a scene" in public.  We walk away when others are being hurt, pushed around, or belittled by a "loved one" in public.  We do not encourage our daughters/sons to report dating violence because "he's young-we don't want to wreak his life over one little incident". We don't want to report the incident as domestic violence, because he might get his guns taken away(in WI they can, but rarely ever do). 

"Boys, will be boys." 

He was drinking and didn't know what he was doing.

He is so sorry he didn't mean it--he just lost it.

It's not our business.

Blah, blah, blah.............(did I get them all? Probably not)

Then something like this happens---and we're all surprised.  Wake up.  Until we quit letting "private" domestic violence happen--public domestic violence will still happen.  Until our girls/boys can talk freely about violence in relationships,in families, school---without people treating them like they have a disease--this will still happen.  When we can get law enforcement to arrest domestic violence perpetrators on domestic violence charges (even if they know them or their family or brother, whoever) this will happen.

When we all show our youth that relationships do not involve hurting each other with words, control or fists and we can talk about it to anyone then these incidents will stop. 

Quit giving violence a place to hide.  Quit being surprised.

Also--GO AWAY BAD MEDIA--leave them alone to grieve and get their babies buried.  Let their lives return to some sort of normalcy.  If you were helping--it would be different, but you are just being disrespectful vultures out for some other piece of blood.  Let them go to the grocery store, post office or get gas without a microphone in their faces.  GO AWAY.

Oh, kudos to Tri-County Council on Domestic Violence and Sexual Assault in Rhinelander,WI(http://www.tri-countycouncil.org/ )(1-800-236-1222 Call if you need help or need to talk) for the domestic violence candle light ceremonies for recognizing and acting the domestic issue.

Also, big kudos to the survivors of domestic violence who offered condolences, support and their stories-----you go ladies, what strong women you are!!

And here is a study on DV in WI from the LaFollette School of Pubic Affairs, University of Wisconsin-Madison; Center for Public Policy and the Status of Women group: 

link:  http://www.lafollette.wisc.edu/womenspolicy/WWPP/pdf/DVOverviewComplete.pdf

..............eye opening.............

(I do not work for Tri-County or LaFollete--just a concerned person showing resources) 

I feel compelled to tell a story that  happened last year on my 8 year olds school bus ride home. A 10 year  old boy told several of the boys if they came on the bus tomorrow he would bring a gun and shoot them. One was the superintendents son. He came home and told his father right away. Mine did not. He just told me that this child who both my children have had encounters with in the past was picking on him and others again today. and that he told the bus driver. The next day all the boys were called into the office. My son did come home and tell me that he was called into the principals office and then again to ask if he was afraid to ride the bus. When I asked why he told me because the boy had made threats and was suspened for a week off the bus. . He did not tell me more and I was in the yard and did not ask more. The next evening I went to a jewelry party and was told that the boy made the threat of bringing a gun and shooting the boys. I was also told he was suspened off the bus for the rest of the year.  I just happened to have a meeting with the principal the next morning and asked him what happened. He became extremely defensive and told me that it had been dealt with and I should not worry about it. I told him I was very angry that my child was threatened with a gun and NO ONE told me! He also said the child only got one week suspension and had to seek counseling. This child had been in trouble numerous times before. The bus driver told me last year when I suggested speaking with the childs parents, "It probably will not do you any good!" I am thinking one week will maybe get him what, one counseling session before this child is put back on the same bus and into the same situation that made him so angry to threaten the kids to begin with. He told me if I did not like it, do not let my kid ride the bus!  I questioned the principal about the minimal 1 week suspension. He told me that was his decision to make. I told him if he did not care about the 60 other kids on the bus and their safety, at least think about the child you are putting right back into that same scenario! The principal never spoke to the entire bus about making threats! Luckily the parent made the decision to remove his child from the bus. I also was very upset that I was not notified of any of this from the school. Had I not heard it, my child would be on that bus with that same  angry child. The principal went on to say we should talk to our children. I said, " How could we, you never gave us that option by telling us!"

Another child made the same type of threat 2 months later on the same bus! Once again, because it was not handled correctly the first time. At least this child was not one who had been in trouble before. 

I have since written my Congressman and State Rep. I have found there is no fereral or state law that requires the school to tell the parents if a gun threat is made. There is no law that mandates how long a child be suspeneded off the bus for making such threats. There is plenty once the gun is already there but nothing before it happens!!!! Watching Dr. Phil and looking for warning signs. We do some times have them. The school could have easily let the parents know about the situation without devulging the students name.  We also have a bulleying program which could discuss such threats. When I was told this all falls on the code of conduct I went looking for something there.  It all pertains to threats made to staff nothing for student to student. 

I also asked what  proceedure is followed when a gun threat is made?.Do you notify the police. He told me it depends on the childs age. AGE! How many times has a young child brought a gun to school.  We can't discriminate due to age. The Pshycologist on the show today said it starts with ages 7,8,and 9.  I have since called my Superintendent after the shootings on Monday to see what he might do now! As nothing changed from last year. The bussing guidelines still had nothing about threats nor did the code of conduct. Also nothing mandating the schools to keep parents informed when such incidents occur.  He at least agreed to read my email and consider my suggestions. This is a hole in our system that needs to be filled.

I live in Ohio and this was a wake up call for me to continue to persue this until the laws continue to protect the victims!! By the time the gun is there it is too late!!!!! 

My next step is Jerald Newberry after this email. Thanks Dr. Phil.

Concerned Mother from Ohio!

The Killer's world is so small that Betty Lou did this, Taylor said that, the group thought this... ALL that occupied his whole brain.

If only he had been outside of his little town, travelled around, been to an exchange student program in another country for a year or two.  None of the Betty Lou does like me, Taylor put me down, nothing so small will matter to him anymore.

It was apparent to me that despite all the analyzing as to "how do we prevent this from happening?" no one really got to the HEART of the matter of the real reason it happened in the FIRST place-it happened because of the feelings of powerlessness that the shooter felt when being bullied!!!. The reason the shooter did what he did was because he wanted to exercise power (get revenge) over the people who bullied him. He wanted them to feel the same fear and powerlessness that he felt while being bullied by them-and he succeeded in that end, didn't he?. Revenge is a very common theme, how could you miss that?

Everyone seems to want to excuse the hateful meanspiritedness of the bullies and then feel sorry for themselves as if they were completely innocent when it was the bullies who got the ball rolling in the first place.