Topic : 10/12 Homecoming Shooting

If your child is saying things like that, he needs counseling. 

Hello

Well I wonder why no one addresses the real issue when it comes to these problems.  It is a tragic thing that should never happen.  The people were wrong in the way the expressed their hate and anger.  I in no way condone what happen and pray for the family of the victims.   The real issue is that most of these people were picked on severely, had broken homes with no one to talk with, and have been shunned by most including family members.  I grew up a product of being physically and mentally picked on from kinder on through my senior year by all the popular kids or cliques.   These kids are relentless always targeting someone when they come around a corner on a daily basis.  ANd the big problem is that teachers or parents never really do a thing about it saying  being picked on is a normal thing in school.  Parents of those who do the picking just blow it off because they never see the behavior of their children in this manner.  It causes depression and anger. Some kids have no way of expressing thier feelings until they have already reached the breaking point.  I realized as I have grown that sure it was childish to be treated in those way by other's and glad I have learnes valuable lessons from it but it doesnt excuse the acts of those who did it.  The stronger always seem to seek out the perceived weak and target them always.  There is no excuse for the actions and kids should be taught to leave other children alone regardless of the way the LOOK,  ACT, TALK WHO THEIR FAMILIES ARE, WHO THEIR FRIENDS ARE, or HOW MUCH MONEY THEY DON'T MAKE. These are the real issues.  None of theses kids realize the problems the other kids face at home in addition to the problems at school.

 

It's a sad situation and until we educate all Children to not participate in these behavours.

Ithink 2 things were missed or not carried through in the discussion - First, parents need to take responsbity for their children - the program stated that we need to encourage our children to speak to us but we also must know what are our children doing - where did these children get the guns used to commit these assaults -    why didn't the the parent know that they had a problem troubling them - there is serious problem today - parents are too busy to know what their children are doing -  Dr. Phil should be askng all the parents in the USA today  one question -WHEN WAS THE LAST TIME YOU AND YOUR CHILDREN SAT DOWN TOGETHER, HAD DINNER TOGETHER AND TALKED TO EACH OTHER ABOUT WHAT WAS HAPPENING IN EACH OTHERS LIVES 

 

The other issue that was not expanded on is the easy access to guns - the child in Cleveland wa 14 yrs old. where did he get the gun and when is his country going to do something realistic about the easy access to guns  

I recently read 2 books that would not have been written 15 years ago. One is titled We need to talk about Kevin by Lionel Shriver. The other is 19 Minutes by Jodi Picoult. Two very disturbing books that I wish were on the reading lists in all schools. They were both tremenously disturbing, thought provoking books that force a person to look full circle.

No! Nothing "justifies" killing another, but that attitude won't change what is happening today. I am an average Mom with 2 healthy productive daughters who recently graduated. I gave them both the books to read. I highly recomend them to everyone. They are worthy of discussion.

I am concerned that while it's true, these perps, have taken lives, and they are criminals, they can also be victims as well.   I have a teenage daughter, 16 yo,  who has no  mental problems,  very little problems at home ( no more than any other teenager) no drugs,  alcohol etc.  However,  ever since we have moved from a larger school to the small town we live in,  there is a  group of girls who constantly harrass her.  The school has issued  commands to  cease with promises of zero tolerance of bullying. While this looks good on paper, this does not keep them from making phone calls, under the breath comments, after school off campus deeds that affect the way other students treat my daughter. My daughter  makes good grades A's, B's and occasionally a C.  She is attractive, dresses fasionably, takes care of her hygiene, etc. so I don't know why this harrassment continues. They focus on her nose. Drawing pictures etc.  Now she wants to move to another school, she is a junior, rings have been bought etc. She comes home every day depressed, frusterated etc.  When I was in school, we were allowed to just duke it out in the school yard or off campus. No knives, guns, etc. Just an old fashioned butt whoopin'.  We usually wound up being friends.  Would someone please tell me how this is progress?  What happened to dad taking the little imps behind the shed and warming their backsides and making them glad to say only nice things about others. When I was in the first grade, we learned a song, " If you can't say something nice then don't say anything at all."  Why are you trying to "profile" these people?  Why aren't people taught that's life deal with it?  Don't you think that if two people can't raise a child to be a productive member of society, they ought not to have them!! That is no more communist thinking than the government saying that, the car that I bought, I pay taxes on, I pay them to let me drive around in, even though I'm a grown woman, I have to wear a seat belt in it.  Here's a thought, when little Johnny is 2 yo, and he is cussing and slapping and telling you "no", how about correcting him then, instead of laughing and saying "isn't that cute?"...
Well when he becomes a little juvenile delinquent at 8-10 yo and you can't control him, you want the gov. or someone else to "do something with him, I can't do a thing with him."  Tough you made the bread...eat it.  If you can't.....stop having them!!!!   

It seems to me that we are missing the real problem concerning violence in the schools.  I feel the violence began when prayer was taken out of the schools.  And then the ten commandments and bible were removered.  Even on your show of October 12, 2007, Dr. Phil, not one word was mentioned concerning taking God out of the schools. 

thank you for pointing out how paranoid these events have caused people to be.  At one time, people used wisdom and common sense.  I hope you were able to finish your education  in another manner. If you haven't  already, may I encourage you to do so.  I have often been accused of being different because I speak my mind and refuse to be an uninformed, spineless, lilly-livered, gutless wonder.  Another point, in your best interest, please don't hold a grudge against those who chose to out you, if you do, it will consume you and they will win. I wish you the best. You can go far.

I worked in the education system for 29 years.  In all that time students were taught the state standardized tests,NOT how to find the answer, NOT how to cope with problems or to solve disputes with others, parents included without violence.  When I was in school, the tests were something we did in the spring, we heard nothing about them until the week before then it was daily reminders to get enough sleep, and not to be absent and to do our best......that's it!  We had been taught our lessons, and if we had learned them great---wonderful!!!!, if not then the tests would indicate them.  We were taught that talking to each other, communicating, having a 3rd party involved to defuse a situation, to have many avenues to search for an appropriate dealing with the problem......  Parents, schools, don't teach kids how to cope without violence, they don't encourage open communications--just look at the first entry on this site.  It was so difficult to teach my child to look for solutions other than violence----but we succeeded.  Anyone can if their heart is in it.

 

To the concerned grandparent -  Please consider telephoning your local mental health clinic or area mental health agency for help.  Contacting Dr. Phil is probably not in your immediate best interest as I am certain the show (Dr. Phil) gets thousands of requests for help during any given hour of the day.  Most counties are affiliated with some type of mental health agency.  You are to be given a lot of credit for being such a caring and concerned grandparent.  Your anger, I'm certain, is frustration with the system...but given today's show and the national attention being given to our youth, there will be someone local to help you. 

God bless you...