Topic : 10/12 Homecoming Shooting

As I write this - I am listening to my local news (Phila., Pa.) about an situation at a Phila. suburb school that could have been a tragedy but luckily someone saw the handwritings & did something about it.  Our children ARE GROWING UP too fast.  They never had time to be kids.  They are exposed to TOO MUCH grow-up things such as sex, love relations, etc.  We need to get back letting kids be kids & let them grow-up when they are ready.  They have too much peer pressure too soon.  Also, parents we need to be just that - PARENTS & not there BEST FRIENDS!  Yes, we can be there for them but stop trying to be their friends.

 

I will watch the show & pray for the family.

I absolutely agree with you!! The kids I see who are out of control and expecting everyone to meet their every needs are the poor kids whose parents needed to be their friends!  Their parents could not and did not say no, they condoned and abetted underage drinking and wild behaviour and blamed others when things went wrong for their kids.  Kids need to learn how to govern themselves, need to learn respect and empathy for others and need consequences for their behaviour.  I was a single parent with three children,

working poor, I remarried and we had another child, all our children were required to be accountable and made pretty uncomfortable when they did not do so. All our kids have or are working on degrees., we are close to them and love and respect them.  Recently I said to one of our sons, a teacher, I guess we could have been a bit kinder and gentler when you guys were young, I sometimes wish we had used other methods.  He said mum I intend to raise my kids like you raised me, it kept me honest and I always knew I could count on you to give me the straight goods.

So don't be afraid to take the lead parents, your kids are crying out for your attention! 

I have not watched this show yet.  I am in central time, so it does not air until 3p.here. But I wanted to make a comment on this.  First my deepest sympathy to everyone in this community and to all who have been affected by this.  I cannot fathom dealing with this kind of tragedy.  I think back to the Columbine incident.  Every year on April 20, my youngest daughters bday, we would go to Dallas for a day of shopping etc. The year this happened we were like most people.  Shocked, disbelief,distraught, worried, you name it.  As I drove to our high school in Norman,Ok( this is where OU is located), to pick up my daughter one of our security officers (who was also a Norman Police Officer) was sitting outside the school on his bicycle.  I held up the current issue of Time magazine.  This had the picture of both boys who had committed this unspeakable act of violence and labeled them "MONSTERS"  I ask the officer "what are we doing to keep this from happening here"  His reply to me was something I have not forgotten in all these years.  He looked at me and said "WE ARE MAINTAINING STATUS QUO."  I was shocked.  I come from a family of cops and law enforcement, all in other towns. and was stunned.  Looking back, I still hear his words and wonder what would happen if.............

i was wondering what the name of the books were and where i can find them. 

Where did you get this information? I checked on the internet, and the only survey I found was from 1996, 11 years ago

Killing of others is so needless. Our hearts go out to all that have had loved ones killed. Our son was murdered in 1992. By one of his friends, over money. People blame guns, well it's not guns. It is sick people. If it's not a gun it would be something else. My son was tortured & killed. He was missing for 3 yrs. If it wasn't for a very special police officer of the El Monte, Ca. police force. I never would have been able to put my son to rest. Lt. Raneer  promised me he would find my son & bring him home to me. And he did just that.  This man being a police officer had nothing to do with what he did. Neither did his family.

I feel if someone feels the need to kill, just kill yourself. Why hurt others because your mind is sick. The world is getting sicker all the time. I hate the thougfht of the world that my grandkids are growing up to be apart of.  I do believe if parents spent more time giving there kids love instead of material things, the world would improve. Wanting your kids to have a better life then you did is great. Start with Love & spending time together.. That's what every kid needs.

I read that the young man in question  for the latest school shooting had been complained on by students and some staff. Since this episode has not aired here, I have not heard the story.  Only read about it.  However when are schools and administrators going to take this seriously?  The boys parents?  Is it true they continued to purchase weapons of different kinds for him. What????  If what I have read is true, this school must be held liable for most of this.  Parents too!  He was obviously struggling somewhere deep inside and no one took him seriously.  Where were the metal detectors?  Being moved around.  They had knowledge of this childs problems and once again sat back and did nothing to prevent it.  What is it going to take?

It's so hard being a parent in these days. I wonder how far should I go to protect my children? My son is in the 5th and my daughter is in the 3rd. They go to a new school this year since we moved last summer. Their old school was very good; they never had any trouble and great friends. Now, I am a lot more concerned for their safety and wonder if what happened in the news could happen here. The first week of school, my son comes home and tells me that there were 3 fights at recess; one in which a teacher was hit! A few weeks later, he tells me that a boy hit him! This never happened at their old school. And the crazy thing is...we are still in the same city. We just moved to a different neighborhood and a new school district. Why are the schools so different? Why are the 'tolerance' levels so different? In fact, when my son told the teacher that was out there during recess, she just shrugged it off and told him that they have had trouble with that boy hitting people. And that was all she did about it. Fortunately, my husband contacted the principle and we nipped it in the bud right away. But I still feel like I'm waiting for the other shoe to drop. My daughter is fine; she is alot more outgoing and makes friends at an easier pace than my son ( he's the one I worry about). He has always been shy and very sensative which seems to attract bullies like a magnet. After these recent horrible school shootings, I feel more and more pulled in the direction of home schooling!!!!! I don't want to take that drastic of an action but I really feel like this school is closing their eyes to the problems they have. What do I do?

  I really wish Jay could come to this school and open the eyes of the faculty and help the students.

    Thanks

 

Guess what??

I AGREE with you on this one!!!!

Hi, as I was reading your post I began to cry.  I have a son who is also age 7 and in the second grade.  He too has a emotional / behavioral problem as a resulf of being a "Child Witness of Domestic Violence".  Lucky for him an me, he is doing much better than how he was when this all started at age 3.  I too had a very difficult time trying to get anyone to understand what my concerns were.  In the beginning, some of his behaviors were:  waking up several times a night screaming and saying that he is scared, regression of potty training (wetting the bed at night and soiling his clothes with his bowels), lots of heavy breathing due to anxiety and most of all hyperactivity which was to me obviously different from those of his same age.  When he first started preschool, he did almost the same things.... spitting at teachers, swearing, throwing chairs across the room as if to hit the teachers, etc.  I've taken him to his pediatrician several times but got looked at as if I was his problem.  I've had several exams done by a child psychiatrist and was told that all that behaviors where due to his age. 

 

Well I wasn't satisfied with any of those answers so I struggled to move on and continue to find him help.  I finally hooked up with an agency here called the Mental Health Association.  The woman was very understanding and immediately helped me get him help.  He's come a long way since the beginning of this happening.  He now has many services in place such as School Based Behavioral Counseling, a person who comes 2x's per week to take him into the community and work with him on social and behavioral skills, and he also see his psychologist 1x per week. 

 

In the case regarding your son's classmate, my question would be why isn't the school doing anything about it?  If they know what's going on in that child's home, especially if he is being neglected, they should be reporting it to the local child welfare services office.  It also sounds like more than just neglect.  He could be possibly being physically or mentally abused in some shape or form.  All school employees / authorities are mandated reporters which mean if they know something they are required by law to report it.  My suggestion to you is that you could call you local child welfare office annonymously and report it.  Better yet, if there are any other parents whose child is in the same class and know about the situation, maybe they can call to report as well.  You could also try taking it up a level and talking with the principal of the school since your concerns didn't get through with the teacher. 

 

I totally agree with you on the fact that this child needs help now....... when it is easier for him to make the necessary changes in his life.  Waiting until he is at age 15 or 16 is not only too late, but alot more difficult to get them to change their life around.  All children who is the around the same age as this child will display their anger, frustrations, and hurt through their behaviors, but the real sad part is that some people overlooked the behavior as if he is just being "a naughty boy" . 

 

I hope you the best of luck in trying to reach out for this child.  Just know that even if this boy is not my child, you are definitely appreciated for all that you're trying to do and I'm sure if he could express that, he would.  Good luck and hope you're able to find help soon.