I am a 40 yr old female who has been married 17yrs. ( Together 21yrs). He is a wonderful husband but was raised by a marine father and a mother who stayed home. We agreed that after the kids where in school full time I could return to work. Well at first it was ok when he worked day time hrs. The last 5yrs he had to take a night shift position & he leaves for work each yr earlier & earlier now at 6:15pm each night. He works for a national trucking company. Home & Off on the weekend, but works 50 to 60 hrs a wk. When he is not at work he is sleeping. His only son has suffered. They to me have an unhealthy relationship ( he is 15yrs old) His son feels like dad " Hasn't been here no need to start now" They argue over anything and his son yes at time does disrepect his father. I intervine because my husband get so angry with him I am afraid he will hurt him physically so they usually do talk much to each other. My husband does try to keep the lines of communication open. My son just one word answer him. Oh yea my son also acts at times metro-- It driveshis father up the wall and no he doesn't play sports but he did join JROTC. My husband health has suffered. He went from a well fit army man to a beer belly yet still muscluar looking football player. (legs and arms very hulk looking). He has high blood pressure, sleep apnea-bad and all he does is sleep, eat and go to work. This for a man who loves cars, car shows and use to exercise daily. I have taken and quit so many jobs for the sake of him and the kids I lost count. Some of my jobs had great futures, but when he need me home because "we don't see enough of each other" or " I miss you" I felt he made enough money or "money isn't everything" I would just stay home. Our oldest daughter graduates this yr "2007" and we have a 9th grader. We are late on most if not all bills and Our credit after years of struggling to clean it up, no sucks again. Our car note are more than our mortgage. "He loves cars". I no longer want to work. Why? we need the money for now. (Like a quick fix). To answer why- I no I am need at home with the kids and he leaves so early that I can't get home in time to get him out the door with a good home cooked meal, his lunch packed and the house clean. Oh did I say he maked $70,000.00 so far this year. This does not include my income from varies jobs. Neither one of us was taught about credit or money and as you can see we don't have a clue how to save or keep any. As Dr. Phil said, " Get back to the basic" How do we do this and stay with in our means. Do I go back to work and get caught up it the quick fix? Does he give up night shift? Oh, his company day time hrs do not guartenee 40hrs a wk. Which mean we would have a drastic decrease in family income. I would gladly go back to work if he went back to dayshift hours.
Help any suggestion for the rat race of life? Am I wrong for not wanting to work anymore? Who else has to suffer trying to do the right thing?
