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Topic : Balancing Work and Family

Number of Replies: 60
New Messages This Week: 0
Last Reply On:
Created on : Thursday, July 07, 2005, 09:23:59 am
Author : dataimport
Do you find time for your family away from the pressures or work, or are you struggling to find that balance? Do you feel guilty when you need to take time out for kids or spouse from your job? Share your work/family balancing act with us.

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January 26, 2007, 12:58 pm CST

improvinglives

Quote From: jenniferk21

 I am a new mother of identical twin boys.  They were born June 15, 2006 at only 26 weeks.  After being in the NICU for 91 days, we finally brought them home.  While they were in the hospital my company set me up to work from home at my request.  I wanted to be able to go to them and spend as much time as I wanted to whenever I wanted.  Once the boys came home I used the rest of my FMLA to totally focus on them.  While on FMLA the company went under and closed the doors.  Not that I had time to work much but at least it was there as a back-up.  I am desperately trying to find something I can do from home to make a little extra income so I can continue to stay at home.  There are so many scams out there you really don't know what to believe.  If anyone has any information on a legit work from home program I would greatly appreciate it.   

Yes you can find a legit online business.  I have!  It is so wonderful to be able to stay home.  I have 3 kids.  They are all in school, however when they are here, I am!  And when they are at school I can get things done around the house before they get home.  This makes such a difference in the quality of time I have with them in the evenings.  I'm not running around trying to get everything donein the evenings anymore.  I'm no longer exhausted. 

I spent alot of time searching the net for something to do at home.  Now that I have found it I am happier than ever!  Be careful though.  There certainly are many scams out there.

 
March 5, 2007, 9:10 pm CST

work decision

am having a terrible time making a decision. Decision making is quite difficult for me to begin with not to mention that I struggle with anxiety.

I grew up a military brat in Germany and moved back to the states when I was 21. I have been in CA for 20 years and the first couple years here were really difficult. I really enjoy CA and it has been the place I have lived the longest. I love the opportunities here, the ability to be a natural parenting parent without folks looking upon me strangely, and I just love the geography and multiculturalism. Walking by the ocean: smelling the air, hearing the waves, seeing the beauty brings me a deep inner peace.

Now, I have the opportunity to move back to Germany for a position with the government. I am a single parent (did not want to be) and have to work. My little one is 4 1/2. This is something which I have thought about and worked toward my entire career (education). Now it is here and I am not sure if I want it. My friends and relatives think I am completely crazy and they worry that the anxiety is causing me to have these qualms (maybe it is). Financially the money I would be making, in Germany, with the u.s. government is excellent and I can not make that type of money here. $12-$15 thousand more than here. (non taxable dollars).

I had a great childhood in the military overseas, however, I am situated here and have established some roots (even though I can never, ever, afford to purchase a home). I have had the same doctor, dentist, and hair dresser for 20 years. I know the president of the credit union who will do anything for me, folks at WHole Foods, the aquarium etc. I have some really wonderful friends...not many, but several truly solid friends who I love and appreciate tremendously. Both my parents are deceased and my only sibling is on the east coast. my ex does live in the area & really disrupts my life and causes me great pain. He is mean spirited & likes to inflict emotional pain. That is the one huge drawback along with the cost of living.

What should I do? I feel so anxious to go to the new location. What if I dont like the position? What if I long for California? Even though I loved Germany greatly and longed for it for a while. I do like it here. However, I may have more peace & quiet there & less disruptions from the ex. I will make more money there & the opportunity to travel to beautiful locations. I wanted my child in waldorf here which would be a wonderful experience. I feel like I am being driven from the place where I want to reside.  yet, if i stay here this individual will make my life a nightmare.  what do i do? HELP!!
 
March 14, 2007, 12:22 pm CDT

WAHM with new baby

I am a work at home mom and have been for a few years. I have a 6 month old baby now and find that I do not get as much done as I used too. I still do a little big of writing and write on my blog , http://momworksathome.blogspot.com , but I am having a hard time keeping up with my other ventures. I am falling behind in my sewing and baking. I also am thinking of giving up my booth at the local antique mall. I just about have given up on my ebay selling. My husband switched jobs and now works thrid shift so that puts a even bigger train on me and I have fallen behind in my house work even. I have 2 teenagers and then the 6 month old son who is a very spoiled and does not want too far from me. But I think that is my fault because I was told 14 years ago that I would never have anymore kids and then last year ,SURPRISE, I find out I am pregnant at 35!! Oh well. I hope that when he gets older and more independant I can get back to ALL of my work.
 
March 19, 2007, 5:28 am CDT

NEED HELP NOW

Hello everyone,

I am a mother of a 3 and half year old boy. My husband and I have been married for almost 4 years now. Right now I am working full time. I really want to be a stay at home mother but we really need to keep another income coming in. I have no problems at all working from home and doing a good job. I really need help with finding a stay at home job that is legit. I have tried looking before but could not find anything at all. I know these jobs are out there somewhere. I really need to find one ASAP. I am getting really tried of doing about 3 different people's jobs right now for only $7.00 an hour. It is so not worth it !!!! I have no time to be with my husband or son. I find the time I do have with them I get angry really easy. Most of the time I find myself yelling at my little boy for no good reason at all. He is just being a kid nothing more. I feel that my spirt is breaking fast and i have no way out. My spirt breaks and I can feel my husband and son's spirts breaking with me. PLEASE I NEED HELP TO WORK FROM HOME!!!!!!! At this point in time i hate my life and the most important things to me are my husband and son and i feel like i am letting them down. Anyone that can please help me!!!!!! Thank you.

 
April 1, 2007, 6:25 am CDT

What do I do now?!

Hi, my husband and I will be celebrating our 3rd wedding anniversary in a few weeks. I am graduating from graduate school in a few weeks also. I am unemployed and actively looking for work. The problem is now that I am graduating I am having a hard time dealing with the person I am now in relation to my marriage.

 

My husband met me when I was a senior in undergraduate school and he has been with me for 3 years while I went on and attended grad school. Our whole relationship has been me in college. Now that I am finally out, I'm having problems dealing with this new person who is now supposed to go out in the real world and have a thriving career. I have been so used to being a student and living off of student loans. Now, the loans are gone and my survival depends on a career.

 

My husband works and goes to school, so he is providing for us, but we definitely need two incomes to keep our house afloat!

 

Please give me some advice on how to move-out of the very comfortable zone of being a student with lots of money to moving back into the work force and having to actually work for every dime I make now!

 

Also, my mother lately has not been very supportive of my marriage. I think it is because she knows I am fixing to graduate and she would rather me come and live with her to enjoy the new found wealth I will be getting when I start working. I feel extremely uncomfortable around my mom and why would I ever want to move in with her? I feel bad for even thinking this way. I love my husband and I would be a fool to leave him.

 

How can I also not let my mother's feelings about my life influence my decisions? Thank you so much for your advice, I really appreciate it!!!

 
April 15, 2007, 2:30 am CDT

Role reversal

 17 years ago, my husband and I were in an auto accident.  He was injured and about 5 years ago ended up on disability beccause of the injuries he received.  I have worked for the last 30 years until 5 years ago as a self employed hairdresser.  I am currently working for a company that I enjoy and attending school as well.  Although I realize that my dreams of ever being able to stop work and stay at home died the day my hubsnd could no longer work he does not understand that the house is now his job.  I have read the other posts with similar issues and see that it will not get better.
 Jobs he starts are never finished, things pile up until the weekend when he insists that I  become a  ----- because I have two options, either do the work that should have been done myself on top of my other weekend work or not do it and look at the mess all through my home.
Frustrated is mild because I know and have told my husband repeatedly that the chaos that reigns in our house is not viewed as his responsibility but my failure as a wife and mother.  If the house is not clean when someone comes over it is not viewed as his responsibility but mine.
I even wrote him up a schedule after asking him if that would help and would truthfully not take more than 2 hours a day to follow up with, but that has also been ignored.  I work morning turn so when I am at home he sleeps on the couch until I wake up at around 1:00 in the afternoon if I don't have a class.  He gets upset that I am not getting enough sleep and I get upset because our house looks and smells like a zoo.  I try to see the humor but I get too frustrated.
  I watched the clips of Dr. Phil and Robin switching places and saw the same thing.  When my husband throws a load of laundry in to wash it may sit in the washer for two days before he remembers it was there and throws the musty mess into the dryer.  Then he gets upset because I say the clothes smell!  He once baked me a birthday cake when our daughter was young but he forgot the eggs so it was a mess.  He did call me to let me know that he forgot the eggs but the cake was too far baked to do anything. She is now 17.  I will be 50 this year and have not had a cake for my birthday since that fiasco because I have refused to bake or buy my own birthday cake.
  We have been married for 30 years and I feel so frustrated at the way life is battering us down farther and farther financially and emotionally.
  If anyone has any leads to legitimate work at home programs I would appreciate the information because all I have found are the "buy my program now for $39.95 and earn $7,000 a month part time scams."
  I will keep looking for the humor in life! Have a great day!
 
May 2, 2007, 9:00 am CDT

Working from home

Hello Everyone,

 

I am looking to see if anyone has any information on how to find a legitimate company  that will employ you to work  from home.  I have a regular job, but I need some extra money at this time. 

 

Thanks,

 
May 7, 2007, 6:48 am CDT

Balancing Work and Family

Quote From: iamawahm

I am a work at home mom and have been for a few years. I have a 6 month old baby now and find that I do not get as much done as I used too. I still do a little big of writing and write on my blog , http://momworksathome.blogspot.com , but I am having a hard time keeping up with my other ventures. I am falling behind in my sewing and baking. I also am thinking of giving up my booth at the local antique mall. I just about have given up on my ebay selling. My husband switched jobs and now works thrid shift so that puts a even bigger train on me and I have fallen behind in my house work even. I have 2 teenagers and then the 6 month old son who is a very spoiled and does not want too far from me. But I think that is my fault because I was told 14 years ago that I would never have anymore kids and then last year ,SURPRISE, I find out I am pregnant at 35!! Oh well. I hope that when he gets older and more independant I can get back to ALL of my work.

Hello,

 

I am sorry I have no advice to offer.  However, I would like to ask you for advice.  I work a full time job from 8-5pm.  I noticed on your message where you said you work from home.  I would like to know what you do so that I can earn extra money working from home.I need to pay off my two credit cards that my husband does not know about.  He travels 85% of the time so I would be able to do work from home when he is out of town.  I am not into keeping secrets from him but when I got these cards we were at a point in our lives where I was not sure we were going to be together due to him having cheated on me.   I DO NOT wish to tell him.  I can pay these on my own but I fell behind on them due to losing my job, so now I am playing catch-up.

 

Can you please help?

 

Thank you,

 

 

 
May 7, 2007, 11:51 am CDT

Not Given A Chance

I am a 39 year old man living in California. I moved out here a year ago thinking that I could start a new life out here and leave my old life behind in Michigan, where I lived a rather depressing life.  I came fr a broken home, was placed into foster care when I was 11 years old, inevitably went into a life of petty crime. I lived a lot of my young life out on the street, in Jackson where I was born and in Miami Beach. When I was seventeen years old I returned to Michigan from Miami eager to start living a halfway decent life. I was staying with a few friends of the family who had the best intentions by me but didn't understand that the religion they were trying to push off on me was only alienating me. Soon after I arrived there I chose one night to sleep outdoors in the hammock, and the next morning I made the impulsive decision to leave, and try to go back to Miami. The lady and her husband I had been staying with had locked me out of the house the night before, so I pushed in a little bit of the screen beside the back door and took $150. That single offense got me a 2-15 year sentence for Breaking & Entering. I was released on parole in 1990, but with no where to go, I stole a car and was put back into prison. I remianed in prison for nearly twenty years.  A year ago I was released from prison, married, moved out here to California, and have tried to establish a better life for myself. I got my driver's license, my social security card (all of these things I had never had before and were very difficult obtaining, having never had them before). I began a career at home, a digital art business, which up until now has been little more than a pipe dream. And for the past year I have been looking for work. I won my own home, I just recently bought a car in order to be able to have transportation, and I have an impressive computer center here at the house. But the bills are catching up with us, and my wife's social security income is barely covering the expenses we have had to accrue. We ven took in a boarder to help make ends meet.

 

The point to this message is that I have been looking for a job for over a year, and have been unlucky in finding any kind of work because of a crime I committed 20 years ago. I recently applied for work with Manpower, but they no longer register anyone with any kind of criminal history. I have been rejected at every turn, no one will give me a chance, and given the fact that many job applications are accepted by way of the computer and the Internet, my applications are usually flagged and rejected before anyone at the company knows I even applied. I have house payments, car payments, utilities, phone bills -- so many bills that I am feeling the strain. I wonder if I will be lossing my home, and if my wife, whom I love with my whole heart, will end up losing the home she has lived in for 56 years. I am doing everything I can to find work, but something I did 20 years ago will not allow me to. Legislators are always complaining about the high recidivism rate in the country, and yet they don't take into consideration that the reason many convicted felons go back to prison is because no one will cut them a break and let them live constructive lives. Nothing will force me to go back to prison. I'm too old for the kinds of thinking I used to entertain myself with when I was a kid, but in the process of maintining my integrity, it seems I am going to lose everything me and my wife own, unless someone somewhere comes up with a miracle. I am very computer knowledgeable, I am somewhat of an expert in Windows XP (Windows Vista? don't bother with it). I am a digital artist and photographer. I have been an artist and writer for nearly the entire time I was in prison, and have discovered that I could make aliving doing the very thing I love to do, if someone would give me a chance.

 

If there is someone out there who has any suggestions, please let me know. I have tried jobing.com  I have tried Manpower. I have tried Labor Ready. I have tried walking into fast food restaurants, factories, have walked from here to the moon and back in search of work, and nothing has developed. All because of something I did 20 years ago. I have even thought about briefly going into the more dubious (though not illegal) professions, out of sheer desperation. I have talked hours on the phone with managers of every kind of company out there, from department stores to auto-repair garages (and I know nothing about cars). 

 

This is my situation. Granted, I got myself into it, but the fact is that at some point a man has to be given a second chance if he is to survive. I have a family, responsibilities, and yet no one will allow me to meet those responsibilities. I have wept in the offices of hiring managers, and all I got was the door. So far it has been practically impossible for me to find a job. My future holds little promise that I will have anything to lok forward to but another life on the street. My wife is disabled, cannot work, it is up to me to find a way to support her, and being that she has so few years to live, the grim truth is that if I don't find some redemption somewhere, compassion, sympathy, everything I have, everything I have dreamt, will disappear when she is called home. I have to find a solution.

 

Someone...anyone...anywhere...give me a job. My email address is detff3@sbcglobal.net.

 

Thank you.

 
May 15, 2007, 10:15 am CDT

I thought Life should get better not worse

Hope someone can help, I feel so lost and useless.  I am 55 years old.  I was a computer programmer analyst for 25 years, until 2002.  Then I was laid off and because our daughter took up with an abusive boyfriend I stayed home and didn't whole-heartedly search for a job.  My husband was making good money and we could afford it.  He encouraged me to stay home.  Said I was needed there. Then my parents began showing their age (they are in their 90's), so my time off was extended to help them.  Then my husband's employer GM began stumbling.  Overtime was cut, rumors flew.  I was told the IT atmosphere was still pretty dreadful so I took a part time office job 2 years after my initial layoff so I could be flexible for my parents needs. Now 2 years after that my husband is saying I need to find a "real" full time job where my earnings are back up closer to my pre-time-off job.  I am trying, but this field seems so unforgiving about returning.  I understand GM is cutting everything.  He had no raises for 4 years.  Last year he did get one for 4%, but it didn't mean much with the rising health care costs.  We are making less because of that.  They even changed that on us this year so we have to pay a deductible before we get any help on our medical bills.  I stopped going to regular check ups and stopped my medications because we could no longer afford them.  He makes too much to qualify for any help.  He has been with GM for 15 years and dislikes the thought of leaving and maybe losing his pension at our age.  The atmosphere at the plant is dismal.  They are not part of the larger UAW so everything they do waits for the "god" of GM's unions which will be in contract talks this summer.  Most believe the plant will end up being closed at the end of the year, including upper management.  My husband is a supervisor there and he can't get the union workers to do their jobs.  It is a fight every night.  He brings home frustration and disappointment every night.  He works second shift so we don't see each other very often either. 

 

I have MANY fears sbout my job search.  I was never outgoing and hate every minute of job hunting.  I have NO self esteem when it comes to my job skills.  I currently work at a $12 an hour job.  At the height of my career in IT I was making $32 dollars an hour.  I feel like a dinosaur and just want to curl into a ball and hide from life.  My parents don't make helping them easy.  Especially mom, she constantly acts like a spoiled child wanting everything her way and even demanding it.  It takes a LOT of energy and time to help them out.  Everyone says I should enjoy the time I have with them.  That isn't easy.  Now looking for a full time job I wonder how I can juggle it any longer.  I don't even know how to put together a resume that will get attention and how to address the time off issue.  I can probably explain it in an interview but I never get that far.  I would definitely put it on a job application.  I feel they see the time off and are turned off.  Managers don't want to "retrain" someone who isn't currently in the industry  I know I don't need retraining.  I don't know where the news and reporters get their information that employers are hotty looking for older workers, and how women that have taken time off for their families can easily find a job again in their old careers.  I get the feeling that all that is against me and my age only makes it worse.  I am tired of uphill battles.

 
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