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Topic : Balancing Work and Family

Number of Replies: 60
New Messages This Week: 0
Last Reply On:
Created on : Thursday, July 07, 2005, 09:23:59 am
Author : dataimport
Do you find time for your family away from the pressures or work, or are you struggling to find that balance? Do you feel guilty when you need to take time out for kids or spouse from your job? Share your work/family balancing act with us.

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May 24, 2007, 4:24 pm CDT

Freelance Photographer

Quote From: detff3

I am a 39 year old man living in California. I moved out here a year ago thinking that I could start a new life out here and leave my old life behind in Michigan, where I lived a rather depressing life.  I came fr a broken home, was placed into foster care when I was 11 years old, inevitably went into a life of petty crime. I lived a lot of my young life out on the street, in Jackson where I was born and in Miami Beach. When I was seventeen years old I returned to Michigan from Miami eager to start living a halfway decent life. I was staying with a few friends of the family who had the best intentions by me but didn't understand that the religion they were trying to push off on me was only alienating me. Soon after I arrived there I chose one night to sleep outdoors in the hammock, and the next morning I made the impulsive decision to leave, and try to go back to Miami. The lady and her husband I had been staying with had locked me out of the house the night before, so I pushed in a little bit of the screen beside the back door and took $150. That single offense got me a 2-15 year sentence for Breaking & Entering. I was released on parole in 1990, but with no where to go, I stole a car and was put back into prison. I remianed in prison for nearly twenty years.  A year ago I was released from prison, married, moved out here to California, and have tried to establish a better life for myself. I got my driver's license, my social security card (all of these things I had never had before and were very difficult obtaining, having never had them before). I began a career at home, a digital art business, which up until now has been little more than a pipe dream. And for the past year I have been looking for work. I won my own home, I just recently bought a car in order to be able to have transportation, and I have an impressive computer center here at the house. But the bills are catching up with us, and my wife's social security income is barely covering the expenses we have had to accrue. We ven took in a boarder to help make ends meet.

 

The point to this message is that I have been looking for a job for over a year, and have been unlucky in finding any kind of work because of a crime I committed 20 years ago. I recently applied for work with Manpower, but they no longer register anyone with any kind of criminal history. I have been rejected at every turn, no one will give me a chance, and given the fact that many job applications are accepted by way of the computer and the Internet, my applications are usually flagged and rejected before anyone at the company knows I even applied. I have house payments, car payments, utilities, phone bills -- so many bills that I am feeling the strain. I wonder if I will be lossing my home, and if my wife, whom I love with my whole heart, will end up losing the home she has lived in for 56 years. I am doing everything I can to find work, but something I did 20 years ago will not allow me to. Legislators are always complaining about the high recidivism rate in the country, and yet they don't take into consideration that the reason many convicted felons go back to prison is because no one will cut them a break and let them live constructive lives. Nothing will force me to go back to prison. I'm too old for the kinds of thinking I used to entertain myself with when I was a kid, but in the process of maintining my integrity, it seems I am going to lose everything me and my wife own, unless someone somewhere comes up with a miracle. I am very computer knowledgeable, I am somewhat of an expert in Windows XP (Windows Vista? don't bother with it). I am a digital artist and photographer. I have been an artist and writer for nearly the entire time I was in prison, and have discovered that I could make aliving doing the very thing I love to do, if someone would give me a chance.

 

If there is someone out there who has any suggestions, please let me know. I have tried jobing.com  I have tried Manpower. I have tried Labor Ready. I have tried walking into fast food restaurants, factories, have walked from here to the moon and back in search of work, and nothing has developed. All because of something I did 20 years ago. I have even thought about briefly going into the more dubious (though not illegal) professions, out of sheer desperation. I have talked hours on the phone with managers of every kind of company out there, from department stores to auto-repair garages (and I know nothing about cars). 

 

This is my situation. Granted, I got myself into it, but the fact is that at some point a man has to be given a second chance if he is to survive. I have a family, responsibilities, and yet no one will allow me to meet those responsibilities. I have wept in the offices of hiring managers, and all I got was the door. So far it has been practically impossible for me to find a job. My future holds little promise that I will have anything to lok forward to but another life on the street. My wife is disabled, cannot work, it is up to me to find a way to support her, and being that she has so few years to live, the grim truth is that if I don't find some redemption somewhere, compassion, sympathy, everything I have, everything I have dreamt, will disappear when she is called home. I have to find a solution.

 

Someone...anyone...anywhere...give me a job. My email address is detff3@sbcglobal.net.

 

Thank you.

Why don't you try to be a freelance photographer?  If you have your own equipment and take pictures, you can submit them to magazines like www.Photographics.com that would be a place to start.  Also, pick up Robert Kiyosaki, Rich Dad/Poor Dad, at the library.  This book led me in the right direction and has made a tremendous impact on my life.  You DON"T have to work for someone else to make it...take Charge of your Life!!  There are numerous Network Marketing business' on the internet, but be sure to do your due diligence and check them out.

d4marek@yahoo.com

 

 
May 25, 2007, 1:18 pm CDT

I am Here to Help you

Quote From: eh6970

Hello Everyone,

 

I am looking to see if anyone has any information on how to find a legitimate company  that will employ you to work  from home.  I have a regular job, but I need some extra money at this time. 

 

Thanks,

I have a Legitimate business and would like to see if this is something you could get passionate about.  Please email me d4marek@yahoo.com or call me 979-836-6152.  This company has been around for 15 years and has literally changed people's lives for the better!

Let me know.  DeeAnna

 
May 30, 2007, 7:31 pm CDT

Just a thought

Quote From: cincykc

Hope someone can help, I feel so lost and useless.  I am 55 years old.  I was a computer programmer analyst for 25 years, until 2002.  Then I was laid off and because our daughter took up with an abusive boyfriend I stayed home and didn't whole-heartedly search for a job.  My husband was making good money and we could afford it.  He encouraged me to stay home.  Said I was needed there. Then my parents began showing their age (they are in their 90's), so my time off was extended to help them.  Then my husband's employer GM began stumbling.  Overtime was cut, rumors flew.  I was told the IT atmosphere was still pretty dreadful so I took a part time office job 2 years after my initial layoff so I could be flexible for my parents needs. Now 2 years after that my husband is saying I need to find a "real" full time job where my earnings are back up closer to my pre-time-off job.  I am trying, but this field seems so unforgiving about returning.  I understand GM is cutting everything.  He had no raises for 4 years.  Last year he did get one for 4%, but it didn't mean much with the rising health care costs.  We are making less because of that.  They even changed that on us this year so we have to pay a deductible before we get any help on our medical bills.  I stopped going to regular check ups and stopped my medications because we could no longer afford them.  He makes too much to qualify for any help.  He has been with GM for 15 years and dislikes the thought of leaving and maybe losing his pension at our age.  The atmosphere at the plant is dismal.  They are not part of the larger UAW so everything they do waits for the "god" of GM's unions which will be in contract talks this summer.  Most believe the plant will end up being closed at the end of the year, including upper management.  My husband is a supervisor there and he can't get the union workers to do their jobs.  It is a fight every night.  He brings home frustration and disappointment every night.  He works second shift so we don't see each other very often either. 

 

I have MANY fears sbout my job search.  I was never outgoing and hate every minute of job hunting.  I have NO self esteem when it comes to my job skills.  I currently work at a $12 an hour job.  At the height of my career in IT I was making $32 dollars an hour.  I feel like a dinosaur and just want to curl into a ball and hide from life.  My parents don't make helping them easy.  Especially mom, she constantly acts like a spoiled child wanting everything her way and even demanding it.  It takes a LOT of energy and time to help them out.  Everyone says I should enjoy the time I have with them.  That isn't easy.  Now looking for a full time job I wonder how I can juggle it any longer.  I don't even know how to put together a resume that will get attention and how to address the time off issue.  I can probably explain it in an interview but I never get that far.  I would definitely put it on a job application.  I feel they see the time off and are turned off.  Managers don't want to "retrain" someone who isn't currently in the industry  I know I don't need retraining.  I don't know where the news and reporters get their information that employers are hotty looking for older workers, and how women that have taken time off for their families can easily find a job again in their old careers.  I get the feeling that all that is against me and my age only makes it worse.  I am tired of uphill battles.

 I work full time in a Grocery Store and my wages are Ok.  My schedule isn't flexible really at all so I have started my own business. Its a home sell jewelery business; there really isnt thing to the presentation.  I am a shy anxious person but it is a 50% cut and I typically make 200.00 or so for 7 hours worth of work. When I get more established I will probably just sell jewelery full time.  You can email me if you want to know more Carmenmiranda51@yahoo.com. 
On the otherside you might check out this website to help with your resume.  http://www.howtowritearesume.net/ ..
Good luck
~Miranda
 
August 14, 2007, 11:43 am CDT

Leaving a stable, well-paying job.

Hello,

I find myself in a precarious situation. I work as a Pit Manager for a casino, and earn a generous salary. I am very successful in my career, and am very stable in my position. Why then, am I looking for a way out?

I work shift work, and find myself on the midnight shift for 3 month stints at a time. Recently engaged, my fiancee and I see each other for 1 hour a day: between when she gets home from work and when I leave for work. Our days off are completely seperate, and my ability to get time off is almost impossible. As the casino is open 365 days a year, we have never spent a Christmas together. I've never been able to go with her to her parents' for Thanksgiving. We don't see friends and family because of my work schedule.

She works as a pharmacist and makes roughly double my own salary, and enough for us both to live on. A part-time supervisory job opportunity has recently opened up at the pharmacy where she works, and I am a shoe-in for the job. Were I to take the position, we would have the same days off, be off together every major holiday, and it would allieviate every stress associated with my current schedule.

The only catch is that I would be taking an incredible hit to my personal income to the tune of appx $25,000. This new job would be incredibly stable, working in a very friendly community-based pharmacy. The environment in the pharmacy is light and friendly as opposed to the mostly negative and stressful environment I face every day at the casino.

So, I guess my question is: is it better to retain a very well-paying, stable job with that you're unhappy with, or a job that pays much less, but affords me the time to live my life? Quality of life completely steers me in the direction of the new job.. but when I consider the amount of work I've put into developing my career, I'm hesitant to throw it all away..
 
August 14, 2007, 2:36 pm CDT

Hi

Quote From: canuckguy

Hello,

I find myself in a precarious situation. I work as a Pit Manager for a casino, and earn a generous salary. I am very successful in my career, and am very stable in my position. Why then, am I looking for a way out?

I work shift work, and find myself on the midnight shift for 3 month stints at a time. Recently engaged, my fiancee and I see each other for 1 hour a day: between when she gets home from work and when I leave for work. Our days off are completely seperate, and my ability to get time off is almost impossible. As the casino is open 365 days a year, we have never spent a Christmas together. I've never been able to go with her to her parents' for Thanksgiving. We don't see friends and family because of my work schedule.

She works as a pharmacist and makes roughly double my own salary, and enough for us both to live on. A part-time supervisory job opportunity has recently opened up at the pharmacy where she works, and I am a shoe-in for the job. Were I to take the position, we would have the same days off, be off together every major holiday, and it would allieviate every stress associated with my current schedule.

The only catch is that I would be taking an incredible hit to my personal income to the tune of appx $25,000. This new job would be incredibly stable, working in a very friendly community-based pharmacy. The environment in the pharmacy is light and friendly as opposed to the mostly negative and stressful environment I face every day at the casino.

So, I guess my question is: is it better to retain a very well-paying, stable job with that you're unhappy with, or a job that pays much less, but affords me the time to live my life? Quality of life completely steers me in the direction of the new job.. but when I consider the amount of work I've put into developing my career, I'm hesitant to throw it all away..

I am all for you working at the pharmacy. Will your girlfriend support you on this?

Money wont buy happiness. Just make sure that whatever income you have you gear your lifestyle in that direction. So if you make less spend less.

Life is short so do what you want to make yourself happy.

Anyway; If the part time pharmacy job isnt enough you can always find other ways to make

money on a flexible basis along with the pharmacy job. Maybe a job one or two nights a week.

There are countless opportunities out there so make your dreams come true.

Good Luck

 
August 15, 2007, 8:03 am CDT

Balancing Work and Family

Quote From: canuckguy

Hello,

I find myself in a precarious situation. I work as a Pit Manager for a casino, and earn a generous salary. I am very successful in my career, and am very stable in my position. Why then, am I looking for a way out?

I work shift work, and find myself on the midnight shift for 3 month stints at a time. Recently engaged, my fiancee and I see each other for 1 hour a day: between when she gets home from work and when I leave for work. Our days off are completely seperate, and my ability to get time off is almost impossible. As the casino is open 365 days a year, we have never spent a Christmas together. I've never been able to go with her to her parents' for Thanksgiving. We don't see friends and family because of my work schedule.

She works as a pharmacist and makes roughly double my own salary, and enough for us both to live on. A part-time supervisory job opportunity has recently opened up at the pharmacy where she works, and I am a shoe-in for the job. Were I to take the position, we would have the same days off, be off together every major holiday, and it would allieviate every stress associated with my current schedule.

The only catch is that I would be taking an incredible hit to my personal income to the tune of appx $25,000. This new job would be incredibly stable, working in a very friendly community-based pharmacy. The environment in the pharmacy is light and friendly as opposed to the mostly negative and stressful environment I face every day at the casino.

So, I guess my question is: is it better to retain a very well-paying, stable job with that you're unhappy with, or a job that pays much less, but affords me the time to live my life? Quality of life completely steers me in the direction of the new job.. but when I consider the amount of work I've put into developing my career, I'm hesitant to throw it all away..

Do you have any room at your current job to leverage this decision with you current employer?  For instance, are you able to use the threat of leaving to get better hours or would that just hurt things?  Maybe you can think outside the box on this.  Can you set a rotating schedule with the other individuals that do you job that would allow everyone to have a more fair, predictable schedule?  I work in a plant that runs 24/7 and they do rotating shifts.  If I knew how many employees are talking about, maybe all of you in your situation can come up with an agreeable solution for all. 

 

Otherwise, if you are single and working all the time, you probably can easily cut back on whatever expenses you have tied yourself to to make you think you need the money.  Taking a pay cut is only painful if you have too much debt, or you just love you money.  Figure out how to get rid of debts or just be OK with trading a life for less money.  The high paying jobs, in all cases, are the ones where the company owns your time and your life.  If you want a life, you may have to be content with less money.  Good luck.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 
August 27, 2007, 11:56 am CDT

Balancing Work and Family

 Well, I took the plunge. I negotiated with the pharmacy and now have a full-time position with a half-decent base rate + commissions. We'll see how it all pans out. When I weighed risk vs reward, the quality of life I'll now have outweighs any cons.

Scared & excited. Change is good, right?
 
August 28, 2007, 7:34 am CDT

Did you Read

Quote From: canuckguy

 Well, I took the plunge. I negotiated with the pharmacy and now have a full-time position with a half-decent base rate + commissions. We'll see how it all pans out. When I weighed risk vs reward, the quality of life I'll now have outweighs any cons.

Scared & excited. Change is good, right?

Any of the posts that we out here in cyberspace posted?

I think you did the right thing. You should be proud of yourself.

It will work out and if you continue on your path and stay focused and positive you will be okay.

Be more excited than scared. (laws of attraction)

Happy for you.

Take Care and let us know how it goes.

 
September 16, 2007, 8:19 pm CDT

Newly married, struggling with balance

I married three years ago and I'm finding that blancing my work and home life is a little more challenging than I had anticipated.  As much as I hate to admit it, my job defines who I am.  I love how I feel when I finish a project and when I am praised at work for doing an awesome job.  I know that my job is interfearing with my marriage, but I just can't seem to stop my drive.  I love my husband very much and he is very understanding.  Although he tells me that he understands, I know it upsets him when I chose work over him.  I'm a workaholic, help!  It's slowing affecting my marriage.  I want both... is that possible?  Is there someone out there that has managed to accomplish both?
 
October 21, 2007, 8:32 pm CDT

Hopeless Housewife

I am a stay at home mother of three and wife.  We are trying to get on a budget....thanks to MR. Dave Ramsey, and that means, no credit, no loans and pay off old debts.  Anyhow....is there anyone out there who knows of a WORK AT HOME  job that is legit?  No selling, no inventory, no start-up kits for parties.  I mean a real work at home job that pays real money. 

 

 

SOMEONE HELP ME FIND WORK FROM HOME

 
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