Topic : Career Goals

Have her sit down and write down the wants and dreams of her life. No matter how extreme they may seem, they are hers to own. 

Then have her bring them to you. Discuss them in detail with no judgement. 

What does she want to do the most?Then second and so on.... 

Don't dictate. 

At this age ,the harder you push,the harder they push back! Give space and hope for the best. 

Good Luck !!!!! 

Wendy  

  

I have been at the same job for the last eight years. I am a 34 year old, single mom, working in the Engineering department (the only one in the office, and no degree yet) and going to school part time to get my degree. After the birth of my son, I went through years of depression and still have to fight to keep going, but, work is getting to the point where I am scared I am going to regress when I was doing good for a little while. I know I need out of there, but, with the economy the way it is, how can I be sure it will be okay? I see my attitude is so much different when I am not at the factory, I am so much more relaxed. I hate getting up in the mornings to go to work. I have posted my resume all over, but, no response as of yet. I will have a CAD certificate in May (a one year certificate that has taken me four years to get). I used to love the Engineering job, now I am not sure what I want to do. Where do I start on setting a goal to be happy?

Hi everyone, 

  

how are you all doing? Well i was wondering if i can get some suggestions from anyone here......This is about myself and a career change i made and now a marriage falling apart because of it...... 

  

Ok, I was a Computer System Analyst before I met my wife and while I dated her. After we got married  I lost my job. And now have a child which is 1 yr old......6 months ago my father came to me and asked if I would like to join him in his OWN office and become a real estate agent and over see everyone. Now I have been doing this for about 6 months and I have made some money, but not a whole lot yet....I am also paying my father back for the house he bought us....Only paying him the down payment...Now my wife has become a very negative person and never happy. I do everything to try to make her happy, I try to buy her what i can afford, and for christmas I bought her a Coach bag...She still wasnt happy..She went the following day to the Coach store to look and said, oh you could of gotten me this one.....I was like WTF....and Now my work is based on commission, she has been so negative stating that im being cheated by my own father....My father and I split the commission 50/50. and out of my split he takes out whatever i owe him for payments from the house he bought us.....Where am I going wrong here? 

You can set a goal to be happy but that is really not much of a goal.  The problem is people that chase happiness for a living can easily turn into instant gratification junkies and never seem to get what they want for more then a very short period of time. 

  

 

  

 

If you worked for a goal for 4 years then you have not fallen into that trap but you need to be careful you don’t.

  

 

  

 

Sometimes when I have a goal and live my life purposefully to achieve that goal when I get close to that goal I start feeling unfulfilled.  The problem is not the circumstances that surround my life at that point in time (which job, where I live, who I spend time with) it is because I’m about ready to run out of the purpose I had been living for.  Living purposefully is very fulfilling for me and it is hard for me to be happy when I’m not.    

  

 

 

  

 

The thing is, most of us have several purposes in life but we tend to focus on one or two and sometimes lose focus all together (especially during times of transition).  I suggest you look at what the primary purposes are in your life.  Once you achieve your goal of getting certified in CAD, think of some other goals that might help you lead a purposeful life.    You might need some time of reflection before it becomes clear to what is next.  I suggest you also try to make your job a positive not a negative.  Getting out might be a goal but in the mean time think of your job as a resting place that you need until you are ready to move on rather then a curse that you have to bare.  Find the things that give you a sense of purpose in your work.  If it is not the work itself maybe the relationships with those you work with.  Most people it is both the sense of contribution to the company’s well being plus the relationships with those you work with.  If you at one time loved engineering then try to figure out why.  What did you love about it?  Because it was new and you were learning new things and it was more interesting? 

  

If you are trying to BUY your wife's happiness then you need counseling.  I think your missing something here.  This woman you are trying to buy happiness for, has become a wife and a mother two very big changes.   On top of all that she is also a daughter inlaw of a family that appears to be very close.  Hummmmm.....  Could be that money is only the easy target here?  Women are not one issue creatures.   

I suggest you work on your communication skills.  Lets face it, women communicate both verbally and non-verbally and if you can't read her then you need some help...Professional help. 

  

If I was struggling with dealing with being a new mom, wife and daughter-in-law and my husband thought a coach bag would help me "get over" dealing with all these changes then he'd be sleeping in the back yard in a tent until he brightened up a bit. 

  

Until you can find a good counsler I suggest you stop trying to "fix" your wife and start listening to her words and watch her body language.  Look for way you can help make her day a little easier ask what you can do to help when she is looking stressed.  Give her some credit for hanging in with you though all these changes.   

  

  

I am not trying to buy her happiness....She asked for the coach bag for xmas, so i got it for her......She never wants to talk, she always blames someone else and then plays a ignore game....This has become more of a money issue with us....She is a stay at home mom. But once I have money in my hands, she wants to run and spend it all over...she has no control with money...She can spend $300 in one day and knowing there isn't any income coming in for a while.

First, I am pretty new here.   

This has been a pressing question for the past four or so years.  I worked 15 years in a factory.  When it closed, I was unemployed for a year, and took the time to be with my daughter and youngest son.  In that time, while they were at school, I was trying to figure out "what do I want to be when I grow up?"  It was Obvious I couldn't be unemployed forever, so I applied for a lot of jobs, and finally took one I thought I would like.  It is retail, and while I like the people I work with, I am just not happy there.  The pay is much lower than I need, and the drive is 45 minutes each way in my old car. 

What I really want is my own business. 

Isn't that Insane???  I wanted something Like a book store.  I know really very little about owning a business, but it's my dream.   

So, could you all help me out here?  

Am I crazy, number one? 

What do I need to fulfill this dream? 

And, thank you for letting me ramble a bit... 

bronze 

Hello Everyone: 

 

                           I am a 45 year old woman that has lost her right lower leg.. Before this happened i was working in a factory making fairly good money and had good benefits......Last April i ended up getting my leg amputated after going through 11 Surgerys trying to save my lower leg.. the amputation was a good move ,, at least i am able to get around some now and not in a wheelchair anymore....i am new at this... i don't know where to start to get some help with retraining .. they had me apply for SSD but i do not really want to go on that,, I told them i wanted to be retrained to be able to do something with my life...and not just sit home with a government check,,  the answer i got was ONCE Your accepted on SSD ,, then we can see about helping you with rehab..........."Wouldn't it be easier to rehab and cut back on people having to go on SSD" 

my answer to that was it's all a part of the system.........  My insurance has ran out i paid my own cobra for a year and now the company does not offer that as an option after they pay the first 6 months and the employee pays the last 12 months of an 18 month disability claim......... 

                 I have been told that i should be quite and just take the SSD ,, and stop Telling everyone i want to go back to work!!!!!!        Any Suggestions would be greatly appreciated... 

I've been a stay at home Mom for eight years. My problem is that I only have a high school education with some college. My Husband and I are not getting along very well, and he wants me to get a job now. I am scared that if I do, he will leave me . 

This has been going on for some time now. 

Help!!! 

Wendy 

Take the help for now. The gov. has special training courses for disabled.Depending on what state you're in,it could differ from state to state. 

Check the Internet for help in training. 

Good luck 

Wendy