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October 12, 2005, 10:45 am PDT
Burned out on being self-employed in non traditional field
I am 51 years old, self employed since 25 years, most of the time, and I am at a loss. I am truly burned out being self employed. I am a highly skilled and effective Massage Therapist but I have struggled making a decent living for all this time. I have gotten by, working maybe between 35% - 75% of what I would have liked. Statistics say that Massage Therapists last only 2 1/2 years in their profession before they drop out!
I have worked for Spas where independent contractors more often then not are treated as employes with no rights and no benefits. When I speak up pointing out problems, politely, I am branded as the trouble maker. I do not fit in with institutions because I always make the individual person, the client or patient more important then following rules.
I love my profession that offers the possibility of touching someone's body and soul with the possibility of amazing intimacy and yes, instant gratification. When I work I usually feel refreshed and invigorated myself. There are always a few clients that rave how good I am, how I am the best they ever had... Yet it does not ad up to a decent living.
The long standing trouble is never finding enough work. Marketing and consistency in attending to logistics are not my strong point. Advertisement for a non-traditional service like Massage Therapy and Somatic Bodywork is challenging since it still results in too many unwanted responses for sex related requests, sometimes hard to recognize. I do have a website since 5 years, a portfolio of my work since 15 years, and business and posting cards. No doubt I could have made more use of these resources. I also had exposure to local, national, and international media which resulted in zero financial benefit to me, but plenty to the spa.
I struggle with American culture that does not foster deep on-going relationships. My clients would shock me by make decisions unilaterally never considering to consult with me. I struggle with the concept of massage, while becoming more and more mainstream also becoming more and more diluted from an awesome therapeutic tool to access body and mind and 'the somatic seat of so much ill-at-easeness' to a shallow, simple minded luxury one treats oneself on occasion. Magic can happen, but not with spacing out, only with spacing in.
It was easier making a living in more affluent communities while living in the Bay area, California. I am back in one of the poorest states and dealing with clients that repeatedly forget their appointments, change their appointments without required 24 hour notice, and decide on their own on treatment modalities, even if they conflict with mine.
I am discouraged to the point of having given up on my dream and putting the land( bought for my professional goals) up for sale.
Anyone out there with similar experiences? Anyone out there that has started over and is the better for it? Anyone out there that can relate to the issues of being self employed in a non-traditional field?
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