Quote From: phenomenomIm currently at the end of my rope. Im 21, and work as a fireman/emt. I like the job but I don't think this is what I want to do for my whole life. Truthfully, and I always feel embarrased saying this, I would like to be a director (or at least some involvement with film production). The thing is, I feel like everyone laughs at me when I say this. My family does not know this is what I want to do with my life. They would probably scold me for even wanting to do this. To give an outlook of what my family is like:
We grew up poor. Mom and Dad fought a lot (physically and verbally). They are currently seperated. Dad was an alcoholic. He also cheated on my mom. My mom.....never really seemed to be involved in life much. Its kinda like she waited for us to be huge successes so she could stop working (she has ideas that kids are born to take care of their parents). My sister was pregnant at an early age and I always feel she never "grew up" to be a parent. So this makes it hard to raise my neice. Im basically the only one that hasn't set a path in life yet.
My parents want me to be someone that can bring in the money. Like a doctor or lawyer. The sad thing is even after 20 something years my mom has no sort of pension or retirement plan. My dad has his own business (pretty small but still a business) and he never really felt obligated to have to help us (still I think he would if I asked). My mom makes less money than I do and I feel if I dont get into a high paying job, then I will be letting down my mom most of all.
Since amatuer film makers dont really make so much money. I know it would be rough. I would still work as a fireman and keeping to myself if I did try to get a job as a director. Still, I dont think my mom would be able to support herself. In a way I want to follow my dream, but I dont want to let my parents down. Im really confused, also scared on what could happen if I do fail. Funny thing is I never really made a serious film, but its one of those things I always wanted to do. I've always had ideas in what to do for films. I could almost see my ideas come to life. Still, the fact that the film industry is so saturated with aspiring film makers makes it intimidating to try and succed in it. I just need some advice and opinions. Its hard to talk to anyone around me, so I hope someone here has some idea of what Im going through and what I should do. Please, if anyone has any ideas, opinions, advice, etc. please post about them. Thank You : )
I can offer a reality check based solely on my perspective and experiences... I am in the production industry, not the top echelon by any means, but successful none the less. And let me tell you, it has been hard. I've seen many people come and go, and the common thread I see in those folks is curiosity, not the all consuming need to commit their thoughts to film that seems to be so prevelent in this industry. And there seems to be a bit of ego involved. Wallflowers and shy people aren't easy to find in this industry. Humble folks, yes, on the rare occassion, but they seem to inspire the extroverts around them. And yes, the world is saturated with visionaries, so you'll not only need skill, vision, and all the other personality traits of a shark, but you'll also need luck (combined with a LOT of creative thinking and hard work.) Oh yeah... and the word "NO" has got to become your best friend. Embrace it. ;P
So anyway, here's my suggestion: If you haven't already, see if you can volunteer as a production assistant (PA) on a film or video production in your state. If your state doesn't do much production work, contact a friend in a more prolific production town, contact companies in that area using your friend's address as a home base and be prepared to put in for vacation time. Since it sounds like you don't have much experience, you may just be curious and bucking against something you KNOW you don't want to do (i.e. becoming a lawyer, doctor, etc.) If you really don't have much experience, offer to work for free (but ONLY the first time! Even if you only charge $5/hour on the next 10 gigs, NEVER work for free unless your life will never be the same if you aren't involved in a particular project). Remember: This field is ALL about word of mouth! Network, mix, befriend...whatever! And don't be afraid to tell people you're good at what you do, but it's more important to actually BE good and let other people sing your praises. There's nothing worse than a PA with a big mouth. At that level, it's all about how you are to work with... are you likable and dependable.
Perhaps it is just the "lifestyle" of filmmaking that intrigues you. Have you looked into being an on-set EMT or firefighter? If you can get those gigs, you're looking at ridiculous amounts of money. Never as dependable as a regular gig, but you can always supplement with part-time work. PLUS, let us not forget that pesky little detail called luck! Who knows what opportunities you may be afforded by simply being on set in another capacity! Who will you meet? What can you do for them and what can they do for you?
As for the mom thing... I'll bet you anything mom wants to see the glow in you as you try on life for size. "Succeed" or not. It's your turn. If she isn't good with that, then in my amateur opinion, her disappointment is about her, not you. I know it sounds cliche, but if you do something you love, the money will follow. And if it isn't enough money, the peace of mind will go a long way to making Ramen noodles taste like T-bone. At least for a while. Then you can proudly say that you tried and move on. And if you truly worked at it as hard as you could, then there's no room for regret. It just becomes a cool story to tell your kids. In my experience, life is a process of elimination... trying out new people, new jobs, new cities, etc. and moving on from the relationships and experiences that aren't working. You seriously don't have to get it right the first time. (Unless, I suppose, there's gravity involved. :)
Anyway, I have over 15 years of experience, I've won 3 regional Emmy awards, a box full of Telly Awards, and I have no idea where my next gig is coming from. So I'm reaching out. Keeping busy and hoping that with all the hard work will come a little luck. Just a little. Because the only way you can really fail in anything is to stop trying.
But that's just my opinion.
