Quote From: invisibleinkHi everyone.
I've been unemployed for almost 2 years. I can't do this anymore. Everyday looking for work and cold calling and sending out my resume. It's affecting my mental health (I suffer from depression and an eating disorder).
I am scared that I am going to become homeless.
I have my Master's Degree in Communication Studies. I have worked mainly in the non-profit sector.
At this point I am applying for retail postions and the like. No one calls. I call them, but I don't hear back. Several people have yelled at me for calling back and following up.
I'm at my wits end. People say that if you really want a job you will find one. Not always the case. I am doing some volunteer work so that I can gain a sense of self-worth.
Ugh. I don't know what the point of this post is. I am hoping that others can relate or give me tips. I am in my late thirties. I will do anything if given the chance!
I spent 2 months this year in a psych hospital because of my depression. But my depression doesn't affect my work. I am a high functioning depressive. Working helps my depression and eating disorder.
I don't know what to do anymore.
Invisible Ink
I completely know how you feel. I graduated with a psych degree (BA) two and a half years ago. Growing up I've always been the one in my family with the highest grades. I've always had difficulty getting a job and I never worked during University except during the summers. My dad convinced me that we should focus on school.
After graduating I went out and gave people resumes and applied to so many places I lost count. I cold called and sent resumes online. No one called. I was sooo frustrated.
It was a year before I got hired, and then when I did get hired it was low pay (for a university grad anyways). It was an okay job but I was continually getting stressed by some of the people at work. I knew I wouldn't stay longer than six months or so (I had planned on finding a new job and quitting afterwards). However, I never got that far. Less than 3 months into that job, the company went bust. Everyone lost their jobs. Now it's been 10 months and I still haven't found work. I had a couple interviews for crappy jobs that still didn't hire me (because I don't have enough 'experience'), I've volunteered, and I've done dog/housesitting to get some cash in the meantime.
When I got that job I moved from the city I was in, to here, which is my home town. I moved in with my parents to save money and luckily they don't make me pay rent.
My dad is a highly respected businessman and the word 'overachiever' doesn't begin to describe him. He thinks I'm not trying to get work and always asks me why I can't find a job. I've been applying to to retail stores for the past 6 months and not once have i gotten calls from them. When I ask them why they say I'm 'overqualified'. My resumes are in at head hunter agencies and still nothing. I tell my dad this but he thinks I'm making excuses and now he's threatened to throw me out to 'smarten me up'. I don't know if he'd follow through on this but when he told me this it just made me want to cry.
When people ask me about my job situation I'm okay. I'm not one to usually dwell on things but some people's reactions are totally with pity. "Oh...well you'll find something..." They look at you like you're a loser and when they do that it makes me feel horrible. During all of this my sister was seriously ill and during that time I didn't want to leave my home (before I got the last job). I still dragged myself out of bed and went job hunting. I'm sure my attitude wasn't the 'chipper' one that companies wanted. When she got better I got better. But now I feel completely drained.
I don't know if this is the right word but I also feel betrayed. Growing up everyone, teachers, my parents, relatives, they always said that if you get a university/college degree then you'll get a job effortlessly. I've begun to feel like they all lied to me (and I know that's stupid because they didn't know).
Aside from my total desperation for work, I've been confused beyond belief. All my life people asked me 'what do you want to be?' I've never known that answer. Well...when I was little I wanted to be about 30 different things. Being a novelist was one of them as well as an artist. I know I want to do those but probably just on the side. I would prefer steady job because I'm an anxious person.
I'm not clinically depressed but there are days I feel like I'll be stuck in my parents house forever. I know a lot of this anxiety comes from my dad. He constantly gives me advice but he's very critical too. He gives examples like "I packed up a bag and moved to a city and made a friend take me in and i called the companies everyday for a month until they got me an interview" He doesn't seem to get that if you do that now adays that's called harassment. I've tried it and been threatened with a call to the police....
I've always been the 'put together one' and I'm also the black sheep of the family. My brother and sister are in serious long term relationships and I've never had a real relationship in my life (though I am a couple years younger). I'm also not the athletic type like them, I'm more artistic, and I'm close to my mom. She's one of my best friends. In high school I was always the 'least popular' of my siblings though I did have a large group of friends. They just couldn't hang out except right after school or on weekends. But by the time my dad would get home he'd see me at home watching tv (my homework done and long after my friends left). His opinion of me was that I only watched tv. He said that to me a couple times. I think back then I overcompinsated with school. Good grades=my dad would love me. Its stupid because my dad would always tell us he loved us but it was my perception of that. Then in University I was always out with friends, got good grades but not 'A's (even if I studied my butt off). I only chose Psychology because I had to pick something and I didn't know what I wanted to do, and by 3rd year I realized it wasn't for me but I didn't see the point in changing my major to something else when i was almost done. I even considered going back for a master's degree just to give myself a better chance at getting hired. You need A+'s to get into grad school and I don't have that.
Now my dad says things (in a 'nice' passive-agressive way) that clearly states that he thinks I'm ruining my life. When my mom voices her concern she tells me in a way that isn't critical. It's not like I party until 3am or drink or anything. I only rarely (and on weekends) spend a late night out. I barely drink and I devote the days in the week to job hunting. nights are my free time. But to him, i should be looking 14 hours a day and studying business books in the meantime. I even took a computer class (night school) at the college here to appease him. Even when I had my job last year he was happy with it for all of two seconds and 4 days later he asked if i was looking for a better job. he was mad when I wanted to just enjoy getting a paycheck. I feel like no matter what i do he'll never be happy with me.
I know my brother and sister had similar worries about pleasing my father but they went away. Growing up they didn't have those type of worries. But I do, I was always the one my dad would say shouldn't do this I could "Be something great. be a lawyer, be a psychiatrist..." I'm trying not to let his opinion run my life but when it comes to job hunting I don't have much of a choice. Its either his way or living on the street. And doing that it only makes me dread 6:00 every night when he comes home and it makes me feel hopeless. That if i do get a job, if it's not what he wants then he'll never love me. It's screwed up but that's the message he's always given me.
I don't understand the job market at all. Some people who just graduated high school have nice cushy jobs while 30 and 40 year olds are desperate for work. It's completely backwards. I know a lot of people who are my age and can't find work. They land part time jobs at supermarkets and for the past 2 years haven't found anythign else. One even has the same degree as me from the same school and she's working part time at an office which she only got because her boyfriend hired her. A friend of mine's sister has a Master degree in English and works at Starbucks.
So believe me, this isn't YOU and when you feel depressed just remember that others in your situation are feeling the same thing. I have days every once in awhile where I just want to spend the day crying. But try to remind yourself that eventually you will get a job. It may not be your dream job but it'll pay the bills.
