Topic : Career Goals

I've read through these message boards looking for a post that addresses my problem (or even seems similar), but I have yet to find it, so I figured I'd go ahead and throw my situation out there and see if anyone has any advice.

 

First, about me.  I am a thirty-six year old married, caucasian (this detail is relevant to my situation - otherwise I wouldn't mention it) woman with no kids and no job.  In the past, however, I've been a travel consultant, property administrator, and even manager a worldwide, regional aircraft mobile repair program.  

 

Now, the situation is this.  My husband and I are from Canada.  He is a research scientist for a pharmaceutical company and we are down here in New Jersey on a H1B visa.  One of the stipulations of the visas is that I am a dependant and cannot earn money in any capacity.  I can volunteer and I can go to school but that about rounds out my choices. 

 

Oh yes, and I knew the situation before I agreed to come with him to the US.  What I didn't count on was the impact it would have on my life.  I have since talked with other people in my situation and, while they have found it difficult, they have all found a way to cope.  Unfortunately, I am slightly unique and so my situation differs from theres.  Below is a list of the things I have tried:

 

Children - most woman take advantage of the mandated sebatical to start a family.  I am completely infertile as I have Complete Androgen Insenstivity.

 

Volunteer - this seems like a great idea and I pursued it for the first couple of years we were here.  My reality however was that because I was not getting paid and not really an employee, I did not really get any respect and was regarded as more of one of the faceless crowds.  Add that to the costs of volunteering and, well, there you go.

 

Go to School - I actually applied and was accepted to several schools in the area.  And everything looked great, until the student loan process began.  I cannot get a student loan without an American co-signer or without changing my visa to a student visa.  We have friends, but I would never ask one of them to lend me money or co-sign a loan and the visa change sounds simple enough until you figure that I would need 35,000+ USD in cash in my bank account just to apply and I would need to consult (and pay) for the lawyers who deal with our current visas.

 

Go back to Canada - The simple reality is that there are no jobs in Canada for my husband's work.  He went to school for a long time to be a chemist and he loves his job.  I just cannot say tell him to give that up so he can go back to Canada and do something he doesn't want to do.

 

And that's about it ... I have run out of options and am not really sure what to do.

 

Many, many people say I should just get a job for cash and work "under the table".  I could, but that would be breaking the law and if I got caught I would be deported.  There is no denying the fact that we could use the money.  It's a tough go making ends meet on one income in expensive areas of the country (and anywhere pharmaceutical companies are it is expensive). Plus I resent the hell out of the fact that I should have to become a felon just to become a productive member of society.  I am not trying to avoid taxes, nor am I sending all my money out of the country, nor am I here illegally.  In fact, if I was from a country other than Canada, I could apply for a work permit and do something, but Canada is not considered "needy" and so I am just prohibitted from being much more than a fixture.

 

My question to the list mind is this ... am I overlooking an obvious solution.  I've become depressed and can't help think that maybe there is answer right before my eyes.

 

Tracy

hi there,

 

im 22 years old, from sydney, australia, and since i've left school i've been trying to find a career in which i could settle down. However, it seems that in each job i go to, i dont feel satisfied so i stay there for a bit and find another job. I went overseas last year, and for the last part of it stayed in the US by myself and found it a life changing experience. Since then, all i wanted to do was travel and explore the world, but my parents seem to keep hinting about my career goals. Both my brother and sister are studying this year towards their career goal, and since i never went out much or socialised i want to go overseas next year and do a big tour of the US before i settled down into anything. Last night my parents mentioned my brother and sister studying, then they asked me 'so what are you doing with your life?' - thing is that i work at my dad's work at the moment, i guess it pays the bills, but it's not where im going to stay my whole life. I've really been thinking about flight attending, but i still feel a bit overweight so this year im focusing on losing some weight so then i can reapply for flight attending. It was either that or retail management that i was thinking about doing as a career. I live in a big household so in time i would love to move out and i think my parents want us out (or so it seems like that), but before i do that, i just want to go overseas next year by myself so i can see what it's like and to explore the world, instead of wondering what it would have been like.

I still feel as though i am very young and there shouldn't be a rush to have to move out and pay all these bills for mortgage and other repayments. However, i know that i should soon grow up and settle down, but i just don't feel as though it's my time yet.  Everytime i come up with a good idea someone interferes with it and makes me feel like i have to start from scratch again.

Does anyone have any advice at all? Should i go overseas next year and live it up, or finally settle down and choose a definite career?

 

Thanks,

 

daniella

Do you speak more than one language? If I were you I would def. try the flight attendant job. That would be discrimination if they said something about your weight? Also, Look into Tour Manager, Tour Guide. Overseas a tour manager or tour guide is a highly respected profession.

Go to the travel agency and get some books of major tour operators and then apply. You could also look on the internet at tour operators and apply to them. There is also a job called esl teacher. English as a second language. Not sure how to ge that job but if you decide to try the company sends you to different parts of the world to teach. Go to the library and check out books on how tot get paid and travel. There is also a good website called changingcourse.com. Check that out. You could also obtain a work visa in the US and come here and work for a year or so. I think you need to be sponsored somehow. Check with your colleges where you live. I knowmany young students who come to the us and work and live for a year to two. I just dont know how they do it. Good Luck

hi! thankyou so much for your reply! yes i do speak croatian at home (that's my family backround) and i heard that it's an advantage if you speak more than one language so i'd definately like to give it a go. from all the flight attendants i've seen they're all tall and thin, i still have a few kilos i'd like to lose before i try flight attending again, because the employers might say that im not fit enough, or something like that. thankyou so much for the tour guide and esl teacher suggestion! i've had so many ideas of things that i would love to do, and i reckon either would be great!! i'll definately look into tour guide positions, it would be awesome to live in another country for a year! thankyou so much for your advice, it really is the kick i need to get going in the right direction. i'll check out the website you gave me!!

thankyou so much again!!

cheerio!

dani :)

Your WElcome; Let me know if you can if you find anything interesting? I loved visitng other countries myself. If I can find out anymore info. I will post.

Remember; Dont settle for less ever in life!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Cheerio!!

hey!! i was a little busy at work, so only had time to read the info on the website you gave me, but today i'll sign up and hopefully get some more info. what other countries have you visited?

last night was a bit of a downfall because my grandma told me how my brother is the most deserving because he does the cleaning around the house, but what no one sees is that i was the only one out of my brother and sisters who got a job as soon as i was able to start working, was able to pay all my bills, paid 1 car off already and paying one off now, studied my butt off in high school, and still trying to find some purpose in my life, and i got a bit upset because earlier on my parents were questioning me what i was doing in my life, and seriously, once i have a good plan someone just knocks it down and makes me feel worthless. i just want to excel in life, have fun and achieve my goals, but i find it hard when there are people who don't believe in me. so i feel a little stuck at the moment, but as you say i shouldnt settle for less ever in life and im not going to!!! :)

hope to hear from you soon!!

cheerio,

dani :)

I love when I do have a job, because the money is a great thing. But i cant and never could hold a job for more than a few months. There is always some excuse for me to quit. Sometimes I cant get out of bed because the feeling of sleep over takes me, or i just hate the job. I am wondering if i am depressed and that is effecting my work habbits. I want to work. I want to be able to help my boyfriend out. It upsets him and is a major problem in our relationship but i just dont have answers for why i am the way i am. Any one have any ideas?

I have a great idea for a series of children's books...It is difficult to find an agent...Also to loose 15% off of the top to one seems too high...I would much rather partner with the Dr. Phil and his Foundation...His recommendation would be worth a hundred agents...I am completely open to development ideas...Also as profit is not my main goal any funds directed to my charity or your charity favorites would be accepted...For the book title, concept, or my information please contact me at my e-mail that you have...Thank you...To the staff member who may see this Dr. Phil will be extremely happy with the person who brings this too his attention...lol. 

I have loads of qualifications, including a Bachelors, but always seem to fail in  having that one quality that employers are looking for and I lose the interview.  What the Hades does it take to get a job?  I do not get it!  I have all of the qualifications for the job that I just interviewed for but had no idea that they wanted hiring/firing experience until the 2nd interview and I think that is why I didn't get the job.  Employers never give you the feedback. 

I have a Bachelors in Music Education but could never land a full-time position.  I hate subbing year after year.  I got certified in Guardian ad Litem and I'm VERY good at it but don't have steady assignments.  I have massive office experience, I'm very intelligent, great working with developmental disabilities, love legal stuff, love to write, blog, whatever.  Jack of all trades, master of none..... just what does it take to find work and be compensated at the same time?  I'm 40 years old and need to start building something for the future! 

I'm so frustrated and disappointed at the loss of this offer.  I don't know what to do differently.
      

Have you tried employment agencies or employment offices that are offered in your State. Where I live they have a whole big building paid for with taxes where they have counselors and job banks and all that type of stuff. Its offered through your govt. or town or city. The counselors also assist you with resumes and how to get a job?

What is guardian ad Litem?