Dear Tammy,
I have never registered to use this board before, but I was terribly moved to hear your experience, so here I am. First I want to say that YOU WILL BE FINE, AND YOU WILL FIND YOUR DIRECTION SOON.
I experienced the same terrible situation you described in the school year of 1998-1999. Like you, I was a science teacher: I hold a B.A. in Biology with a German minor. I also hold an M.A.Ed. and had a "provisional, grades 9-12, biology" teaching certificate. After my experience in a school that had poor management, I didn't know what to do. I had a difficult situation: Three different 90-minute courses a day, each taught once; two of them were out-of-field, and the third, earth science, was my second (unofficial) minor in college, so I wasn't "allowed" to take 3 sections of that course, where I would have been well-qualified and happy. I had no mentorship at all. I had a lot of students whose special needs were either significant or went unreported to me, but for whom I had a lot of compassion. My reviews were always more critical than I expected. I really felt that I had been set up with too many courses. As there were too many "biology" teachers and my certificate limited me to that, I had to search my county school system for a pure biology job. I had poor luck, and decided to leave teaching.
Now, it was not my intent to tell you my story, but only to tell you that you are not the first one in this situation. The problems that led to your predicament are rooted in the school's role in our society. DO NOT BELIEVE THAT YOU HAVE NO OPTIONS. Your attitude, your skills, and your education have a place.
You need to look at the history of what you're good at. When I was eight, I was careful with my writing, almost to a fault (and I already loved knowing science). In high school, I found I could write a good, coherent essay. In college, I learned that I could correct my classmates' term papers in German and enjoyed it. While deciding whether to pursue a graduate degree in science, which requires DOING science, or becoming a teacher of science, which requires learning to KNOW AND COMMUNICATE science, I chose teaching. Now, perhaps also for you, this was the right decision for me. I always enjoyed the knowing of broad areas of science, but never as much enjoyed the doing of the science, as in lab courses. In school to become a teacher, I enjoyed writing my thesis more than any other activity. Even as a teacher, I found myself correcting the grammar and usage in my science students' papers. Can you guess where I headed next?
Editors and writers get to learn and know a large amount of interesting and compelling science, while helping the investigators make their important work known. If you have a talent for language and a desire to know and communicate science, then look for a job supporting investigators in your chosen science field of earth science. Earth science is critical to the energy policies of today and the future. Earth science plays a huge role in global warming. Earth science is related to natural resources that are critical to businesses and national economies everywhere. Earth science will matter in every environmental initiative out there. You are specialized in a field that is poised for success in these times. Further, as a communicator of earth science, you will be making a difference in society--are you, too, in teaching because you seek to make a difference? YOU WILL MAKE A DIFFERENCE.
You need a plan. First, read the book, _Now, Discover Your Strengths_, or at least the first 4 chapters of it. Then, search your history to see what you have always been good at--not your favorite subjects (you have enough training in those). Find out your talents. Look for the hidden stories of things you can do, but which were never directly measured with grades in school. What do you people say you can do? Are any of your talents considered unique, even weaknesses? Make them your STRENGTHS in the fields where they are needed. For instance, my ability to tactfully and unassumingly recommend edits in a document is a strength related to interpersonal skills, and which I learned while working among friends in my German classes. Where are your stories like this?
Then, decide whether you would rather DO or KNOW earth science: Both are good choices, and you must know which is better for your talents and temperament. Determine if there are social or personal causes or motivators that point you in some direction. Then, decide upon a range of fields, businesses, nonprofits, organizations, or locations in which you would most like to work. Join one specialized professional organization, where you can network and gain a new, nonteaching, credential. As an editor, I can work with clients anywhere, so you might like that option. You might want to look at the Society for Technical Communication (www.stc.org, where there is a Houston chapter and there may be others in Texas. Look also at www.amwa.org for an example of a writer's organization, but then find one like it specializing in earth science. Another option is to look for corporate jobs as a "Training Specialist" or "Instructional Designer," which are the code words for "teachers" in business settings. In your college alumni network, look for people doing jobs of interest and ask them for "informational interviews" to help you find out if their fields would suit you (do not ask them for a job, even though you might actually encounter someone who wants to hire you).
Once you have taken these steps, you will have the confidence to pursue your new, but related, career. You have credibility as a teacher, and no one will doubt that you are a good person with good qualifications who landed in a bad teaching position. Unfortunately for our nation, many new teachers seem to experience this. But that subject is for another discussion and not helpful to you here.
You need to find your direction and get any job that is both reasonable for your background and personally satisfying in any way. Then, you will stop reacting and start directing your future, as you used to do. The sooner you find a job, the sooner you can find your direction: It does not have to be a dream job, but it needs to get you started.
There is pain, grief, and disbelief where you are now, and I am so sorry that you are experiencing the loss of a well-chosen direction. Now that I am some years removed from my experience, I can tell you that my loss of my classroom teaching career allowed me to find a job that suited my talents and my education. YOU CAN, TOO!
Good luck and best wishes, Tammy. I hope that you will reply to this with a story of your success or ambition!
