Message Boards

Topic : 06/06 Suing for Love

Number of Replies: 693
New Messages This Week: 0
Last Reply On:
Created on : Friday, October 12, 2007, 02:56:16 pm
Author : DrPhilBoard1
(Original Air Date: 10/19/07) Have you ever been so devastated after a breakup that you wanted someone to literally pay for your broken heart? When Bonnie and her ex, Charles, broke up, she says he went to an unexpected low. He wrote and distributed The Bonnie Chronicles -- a diary that she says is all vicious lies. He claims she has AIDS, seasonal bipolar disorder and is promiscuous. She took him to court and won a monetary settlement, but he maintains that the book is truthful and says he's not paying her a dime! Bonnie says she's ready to move on, but is she really done with Charles? Then, Dawn unknowingly had an affair with a married man and was sued for her crime of passion. You won't believe who sued her, and what she has to pay. And, DrPhil.com viewers weigh in with their thoughts about suing over a lost love. Share your thoughts, join the discussion.

Find out what happened on the show.

As of January, 2009, this message board will become "Read Only" and will be closed to further posting. Please join the NEW Dr. Phil Community to continue your discussions, personalize your message board experience, start a blog and meet new friends.

October 13, 2007, 9:34 am CDT

Sue them!

Go for it.  Sue them for all you can get.  I think that when a partner cheats on you that they should be sued for all you can get.  It is a form of revenge but can sure help to heal the pain.  I have been there before and I know that you have to expose them, and then go for the wallet. 

 
October 13, 2007, 10:06 am CDT

Doctor Phil Show

Doctor For Love Phil Suing. What does that mean anyway? I donot understand that at all. But I do belive in-

God and Jesus aswell. See you on Thursday October 18th, 2007. Sincerley Your. Russell Vlaanderen.------

 
October 13, 2007, 1:15 pm CDT

Bless them and move on

Holding onto anger only hurts the person who is angry.  Suing a person you've broken up with gains you nothing but money (which solves nothing) and delays the healing that needs to take place.  You're not meant to be with every person you date.  Dating is the way you find out if you want to be with that person.  If it doesn't work out, walk away, move on in your search.  Take that opportunity to learn about yourself and what you want in a relationship.  Doing this has definitly helped me in my relationships. 

 

 
October 13, 2007, 2:14 pm CDT

Suing for love

Quote From: beckyleigh

Go for it.  Sue them for all you can get.  I think that when a partner cheats on you that they should be sued for all you can get.  It is a form of revenge but can sure help to heal the pain.  I have been there before and I know that you have to expose them, and then go for the wallet. 

 

Well i,m not so sure about suing, but i have come to believe that exposing a person for what they have intentionally done , or rather getting even is,nt such a bad thing.

 

Relating this to myself, because ive been there done that and taken revenge on an ex, it did help to make me feel better and it did help speed up the healing process.

 

The ex saw me as vindictive and frankly i dont care, all i wanted was to cause them the same sort of pain or whatever thay they caused me for their manipulation, deceit, lies and cheating.

 

I think Dr Phil calls it mir or minimal emotional response. I call it karma.

 
October 14, 2007, 12:13 am CDT

Are any of the old breach of promise laws still on the books?

I rememer reading in the late 1960s that some states had laws where a man (only a man) had to compensate a woman if he jilted her (nothing if she jilted him).

 

Are these laws still on the books?

 
October 14, 2007, 8:19 am CDT

I'm thinking of doing the same thing

In Sept 2005, my  husband of 25 yrs literally walked out on our marriage, quit his job and went to live with his first wife in Tx, we had a home in Alabama..It has since been forclosed on yet he built  a new home for the two of them. I actually had no idea he was even thinking of leaving me!!! Talk about feeling as if I'd been hit in the gut with a baseball, I sure did. He's the one that walked out and all I've been able to do with my frustrations is to yell at him over the phone. He even refused to come help me get our house ready to sell, saying he didn't want to see me..it's my 6'3 son he doesn't want to see, or the grandchildren as he can't face them and the hurt in their eyes.

The reason I'm considering suing her is that she has been going behind my back and sending him letters saying she has and will always love him, although she kicked him out twice for a married man, years ago, and eventually married the other man. They were divorced a few yrs ago and she decided she wanted jim back and her daughters were helping her!! I know jim is the one that made the choice but she had no right to interfer in our marriage, she divorced jim twice, archie was a  married man and she broke up his marriage, now she's divorced him and pulled jim back..so she needs to learn to have common decency to

 
October 14, 2007, 8:20 am CDT

suing for love

I was jilted by someone and at the time I would have loved to take them to the cleaners. I did do some property damage and was almost arrested. I was devasted and had a hard time for a while but moved on with my life and now have been married for 13 years to a wonderful man. I know how bad it can be but there is life after the hard times. You don't have to sue or get any type of revenge, that person did not deserve you anyway and you'll be a better person without them. I'm grateful now that it happened or I would have never met my husband, a real man who treats me right.
 
October 14, 2007, 9:30 am CDT

Suing for Love

Quote From: alexis7

Holding onto anger only hurts the person who is angry.  Suing a person you've broken up with gains you nothing but money (which solves nothing) and delays the healing that needs to take place.  You're not meant to be with every person you date.  Dating is the way you find out if you want to be with that person.  If it doesn't work out, walk away, move on in your search.  Take that opportunity to learn about yourself and what you want in a relationship.  Doing this has definitly helped me in my relationships. 

 

I agree with you to an extent. Holding on to Anger truly does only hurt yourself more than anything. However, these people are not just "dating" and having affairs.. these people are Married. That is a huge difference. I can understand both sides of the story. I was a victim of an affair.. and we have saved our marriage. The other woman was someone who I considered at the time to be my very best friend. In my instance, if my marriage had not survived the affair, I had made specific plans to sue.  This is only in my case because of the things my husband was told to persuade him into the affair. He is a grown up and has taken full responsibility for his actions, and we are both guilty of not communicating, but he was being told lies about my affairs and believed them. She knew we were married, had both of us confiding in her because she was my friend after all and used it against both of us. 

I have forgiven her and my husband. We are not the friends that we used to be, but we communicate briefly from time to time. We are all about moving on and growing from what we learned. It took a lot of work to save my marriage and my sanity, much less my "friendship". It still gets hard at times and I doubt very seriously that we can ever be back where we were before or even if we would want to go back to that.. We are just taking it one day at a time and going from there. My hubby and the other woman have absolutely no contact at all -- still to this day.. and they both know if that trust is broken, then there is no way to repair any of it. Its still hard and the affair occurred over a year between February 2004 and March of 2005.

 
October 14, 2007, 1:31 pm CDT

10/18 Suing for Love

Quote From: txdispatchr

I agree with you to an extent. Holding on to Anger truly does only hurt yourself more than anything. However, these people are not just "dating" and having affairs.. these people are Married. That is a huge difference. I can understand both sides of the story. I was a victim of an affair.. and we have saved our marriage. The other woman was someone who I considered at the time to be my very best friend. In my instance, if my marriage had not survived the affair, I had made specific plans to sue.  This is only in my case because of the things my husband was told to persuade him into the affair. He is a grown up and has taken full responsibility for his actions, and we are both guilty of not communicating, but he was being told lies about my affairs and believed them. She knew we were married, had both of us confiding in her because she was my friend after all and used it against both of us. 

I have forgiven her and my husband. We are not the friends that we used to be, but we communicate briefly from time to time. We are all about moving on and growing from what we learned. It took a lot of work to save my marriage and my sanity, much less my "friendship". It still gets hard at times and I doubt very seriously that we can ever be back where we were before or even if we would want to go back to that.. We are just taking it one day at a time and going from there. My hubby and the other woman have absolutely no contact at all -- still to this day.. and they both know if that trust is broken, then there is no way to repair any of it. Its still hard and the affair occurred over a year between February 2004 and March of 2005.

I read your story, and I am happy that you saved your marriage. There is something I was concerned about in your post.  Why did your husband believe the lies your "friend" told about you instead of believing you?? He should have come to you and told you what this "friend" told him, rather than just believe her lies. It sounds like both you and your husband now realize that, instead of confiding in the "friend" when things were troubled in your marriage, you should have gone to each other. The friend who was the outsider in all of this clearly took advantage of both of you for her own personal gain.  I wouldn't evn bother with someone like her.  She is manipulative, and not good friend material. 
 
October 14, 2007, 5:38 pm CDT

SUING FOR LOVE

Quote From: marianparoo

I rememer reading in the late 1960s that some states had laws where a man (only a man) had to compensate a woman if he jilted her (nothing if she jilted him).

 

Are these laws still on the books?

THE REASON IT ONLY APPLIED TO MEN WAS BECAUSE IN THE 60,S MOST WOMENT STAYED HOME TO RAISE THE FAMILY AND TAKE CARE OF THE HOUSE. IF THE HUSBAND LEFT HER WHEN SHE WAS 45 OR 50 SHE HAD NO CAREER TO FALL BACK ON AS THEY DO TODAY. ALSO IN THE 60,S WOMEN GOT MARRIED YOUNG. TODAY THE WOMEN DO NOT GET MARRIED UNTIL THEY ARE IN THERE 30'S. THIS IS GOOD BECAUSE A WOMEN DOES NOT FEEL LIKE SHE HAS TO STAY IN A MARRIAGE WHICH SHE IS NOT HAPPY IN BECAUSE SHE HAS A CAREER TO FALL ON. I AM A WOMEN WHO GO MARRIED IN THE LATE 60'S AND BELIEVE ME I NEVER FELT I WAS TRAPPED BECAUSE I HAD WORKED 10 YEARS BEFORE GETTING MARRIED AND DID MY TRAVELING AND HAVING FUN. I WAS 26 WHEN I GOT MARRIED AND NEVER WENT BAR HOPPING AFTER MARRIAGE. I DID GO OUT WITH MY FRIENDS BUT WE WENT TO EACH OTHERS HOUSE OR OUT TO BINGO. I THINK MARRIED MEN AND WOMEN SHOULD STAY AWAY FROM BARS . MY HUSBAND NEVER WENT TO A BAR AFTER GETTING MARRIED AND HE ALWAYS DID BEFORE THAT. IT WAS NOT BECAUSE I DID NOT WANT HIM TO GO HE WAS HAPPY TO STAY HOME AFTER WORK.
 
First Page | Previous Page | 1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | Next | Last