Topic : 06/06 Suing for Love

I wouldn't be suprised if charlies diary was completely correct about her. I know a few ladies who don't look manipulative and who look like proper ladies but during certain times in their life had plenty of "cheating" affairs. My own mother used to leave me at the house while she went out drinking with her boy friends and she seems a great deal like bonnie.  I would describe my mother is seasonal bipolar too (where she used to get depressed and get stir crazy over the winter and be almost un-bearable to live with).

I can imagine there is lots of bias in a personal diary in the document he wrote, but i do not doubt it was truthful.  I am NOT suprised a court judged against him for writing it too, if she is a great liar and the jury didn't even bother reading the document.

I was surprized that Dr. Phil said that................. she doesn't look like the type.........guess what?she looks just like the woman my husband had an affair with. This woman was co-worker of my husband's- not very attractive, glasses, mid-50's....... Turns out she is the office tramp. She has been having affairs while married and the mother of 3 children for over 25 years!!!! all of the men she had affairs with were married and she knew it. in fact, that was what made them attractive to her- in her sick mind she felt like she won them away from their wives!  This woman was an accountant type by day- yet she also was an alcoholic, would go out drinking with the guys only, would pursue her latest guy relentlessly, she would not give up until they gave in to her....she promised them everything.... in fact this nerdy looking older woman thought of herself as a femme fatale-would expose her breasts to men at work etc. And............. the sex she was into was the kinkiest kind- sado-masochism, bondage, exhibitionism.......she pursued these  nerdy middle aged men ,flattered them etc.

her husband is finally divorcing her.........she has been responsible for a number of marriages falling apart over the years....and guess what ?sh'e been seen out drinking with (you guessed it-another married co-worker).

So, Dr. Phil- you absolutely cannot judge a book by it's cover......

It was not clear that he mass produced the document and sent it to everyone.  He may have sent it to her and the school when asked. I wish they had of went into a bit more detail about that on the show.  How many copies did he send it to. Who did he send it to.

as far as aids, I believe he said her boyfriend had aids and she has been "exposed" to HIV.  I don't agree with sending the note everywhere but if she was that disgusting of a person she deserves to be exposed. She also sent out those flyers too (which they even showed in the show). I doubt all those people are lieing although one never knows. I caught my X cheating and she lied right up unto the point I played the tapes of her lieing to all her friends and talking to her boyfriend on the phone about their afair. Some people lie lie and lie, and then lie some more. 

It would have been great had they have played the security camera feed of her threatening that lady with a bat. She probably still would have denied it.

Thank you for your response ... My husband did not speak with me or question me because he didnt want to know the truth. All of that was just an excuse for him to do whatever he wanted and think that he could get away with it. She did put us against each other and did use me to get to him and she used him to get to me. I was having feelings of suspicion with how they would talk on the phone when I was not there. I had phone records and asked him not to call her anymore, that we needed to work on our marriage and felt that she was just causing problems. He promised, but hid his calls. It all came to a head and it was a very hard time for me. They were caught sending messages, phone calls, etc even after he promised that.  When I caught him, he cried and truly expected me to kick his ass to the curb. Thankfully we had already started counseling for my children and family long before this, so we started dealing with it. I was afraid that if I contacted her fiance that she would re-direct her anger towards me and my husband. I did not say anything until my husband finally broke down and told me every single detail -- they had started the affair almost a year before I had any questions and that he felt trapped when I would go see her, eat lunch with her, etc. because she would hold that over his head. She could have told me at any time, but did not. She lied to him about being engaged, so I called and compared notes with her fiance who was an old friend of mine. He had wondered what  was going on and together we confronted her. My husband got a reality check about what she would say to her fiance about him and would go off. There were so many lies entangled around all three of us that it was hard to start all over again.

It has been since June of 2005 and every day we get stronger. I finally have a husband that I can talk to and knows who loves me with his every breath. He knows that he has had his one chance and that is it. We both are committed to our relationship and now that we talk and are truly each other's best friends, our marriage just works. We learn more about each other everyday. I have built up a lot of trust in him from him being accountable for where he is and what he is doing. I also supply that information whenever he questions because we do not have anything to hide. I did not have an affair, but the only thing that we have a a priority now is our relationship with each other and our kids.

I do not have much to do with the other woman. I had to forgive her because I try to be a religious person. I cannot be forgiven for anything that I have done if I am not able to forgive people for what they have done to me.

IT is truly not something that I would want to go through again, but it taught me so much about myself, my husband and my life. It's crazy, but we were headed on such a downward spiral that the only way we got out of it was this reality check. My husband has owned up to everything that he has done and knows that no amount of talking or apologizing would work. He has proven to me that he is sorry for what he put me and himself through. He has said that he would not disrespect me or himself ever again. 

Cassie

haha.. why is this ok to say yet when a man does it, it's horrid?

THis is like on Ophra today when the wife said she tried to knock out her husbands teeth after she caught him and the audience all cheered and clap for her. Are you KIDDING ME! Nothing gives a woman or man the right to strike you. Do you think if a man said he slapped his wife when she caught her the audience would cheer? No? Don't tell me it's because a man is bigger. THat is a cop out. Striking someone has little to do with size.