Topic : Stress at Work

I'm 40 yrs old and work for my father at his real estate office. It is a small business with about 20 employees. For 12 years I worked as his assistant, he is the broker, and everything was good. Then I discovered that the bookkeeper he employed was embezzling money and had been for years. She was paying all her bills, her housepayment, every thing and getting cash plus her weekly paychecks. My father never checked the check register or bank statements. Now I tried to tell him and he would put me off, until very bluntly I showed him copies of checks she forged, and copies of the check register that changed every week after she would correct them. So she was fired immediately and my father made me take over everything. Now the problem is I do all the bookkeeping, all the property management, all the office support and I was never formerly trained for accounting, I do everything from the taxes, payroll taxes, distribution of rental income, etc.  I can't keep up, I'm getting more behind everyday, the help he hires me is pathetic, I work overtime don't get no overtime, no benefits, no insurance, no nothing no raises and he tells me how bad I'm doing everyday cuz I'm not keeping up with everything. I want to quit but this is my kids future this business and I want to get them interested to help me. what do i do?

 

You should go to the labor board it is the law if you work overtime you are suppose to get paid overtime.   It's the law where I live.

I am not getting a very good image of your father's roll in this picture.  It almost sounds to me like he is punishing you for your being right about his bookkeeper.  On top of the punishment, he is using you and will continue to so so until you simply don't let him anymore.  I certainly don't want you to think I believe it is as simple as just walking away from this mess but you do have some hard choices to make.  If your kids are really interested in the business, they will tell you........I have no idea of their ages or interests or personalities but but they will need to make their own lives based on their own choices eventually.  Right now, it is you.  Your life, your happiness, your self worth, your self esteem.  As Dr. Phil says, you teach others how to treat you and you also teach your kids what is acceptable as well.  My suggestion is you find another job or start your own business.  Your kids will be fine.  And perhaps your father will take a step back and come to some hard realizations about his behavior and how he is treating you.  I wish you luck and God Bless.

Too much stress can affect a erson mentally emotionally, spiritaully and physically. We must learn to choose our battles and do what is right for us as individuals, yes, we want our families to be happy and provided for but if we are so stress out and can't tell if we are coming or going then we will be of no help to those we love and care for. I have been a workaholic and have been stressed to the point where every aspect of my being was being affected. I had to learn to say no and to stick up for myself even to the point where I had walked out on a job leaving those Iw orked with in a great bind as there were children involved in my work, but it was something that had to be done for the sake of my own health and well being, yes, the guilt was there as well as the feeling of failing others but it was the best thing that I could have done for myself but now I am experiencing it again only this time it is my husband going through this and not only is the stress affecting him but it is affecting me and our children, We love each other dearly and are a great support team and as we have been dealing with this my husband just got laid of his main job which brings in about 6o % of our income but it is a blessing in a way as he is in much need of rest and reassurrance that he is a great asset to himself as well as to his family and friends. We must set our priorities but at the same time keep our selves in tune with our bodies and minds and to realize that we deserve to be happy and fullfilled. Sometimes we need to take time for us and for me, prayer and family/friend support has done wonders. If we are not as "together" as we need/should be then it will affect our families as well and no one will succeed. As in our situation at the moment, yes, it is gonna be a little rough at first but I want my husband to be himself again and to have that self worth that we all so much need in this society. We do not have to allow people,situations to take control of our lives, I know all this sounds easiersaid then done but to me it has been a reality, sometimes we just need to take a step back and give our selves some time to reevaluate our goals and to work to get ourselves where we need/want to be. stress and depression as far as I am concerned are definetly on the top of the list of ruining not only an individual but also a family, just not worth it. Though my hubby is a little concerned about not having this job, he and I both can already see a difference in his attitutde and physical health, blood pressure is not too high as it has been for months and he is eating better and it has only been a a few days since the lay off. I have encouraged him to take it easy and as he is sending out resumes, not to feel pressured and as we prepare for vacation in a few weeks, he will have the much needed rest and be ready for the new job that we know he will soon have. We have faith and each others strength and support and know that all will work out for the best. Life isn't always easy but we must take control of our own lives and do what we need to do to help ourselves to be achievers, if we don't then we will lose and may take otheres along with us. In my case as well as hubby's case, we found that work related stress just wasn't worth our time, some stress may be good but when it comes to taking over our lives then I believe that is wrong and to be who we are/want to be just isn't easy or even possible because we are so bogged down with work and the probelms there that we just don't have it in us to reach our full potential, and that is when some changes need to start taking place and it might mean stepping out of our comfort zones and seeking out new options.......

Hi Jetta, sorry to hear your husband lost his main job.  It is hard (we have been their) Just remember a door closing is another door opening.  You hubby can take the time to get it back together.  A person needs to be happy.  Anyhow, I was just reading some posts, and thought I would say hi,  it has been a while!

 

take care, and prayers be with you and your family.

 

Tray

 

Thanks for the prayers and all and we are fine though hubby lost his job, He does have the second job and we have money to fall back on if need to, even though itis for our business that we are about ready to start, but hey, we do what we have to do, and he is in much need of a break and we have a friend in high places who we trust will get us through. I agree that a person needs to be happy. I do believe things will work out as they are suppose to and in the mean time we will do our part to make it happen, good chattin again.

I currently work for a company that has suffered many layoffs in the past year.  Many employees have quit and been fired in the meantime leaving very few to do the work.  The company rarely replaces any open positions, but continues to preach to the employees that "we're growing".  The office suffers from a very low morale and management seems to be under the impression that they just have a bunch of cranky employees that want to work in euphoria.  We're pretty sure that they'll close our office in the next year or so and consolidate operations in a more economical location.  Instead of keeping the employees informed and prepared for what's to come, they continue to feed us lines about growth and such.   

Of course, I've been searching for alternative employment for some time now.  The only problem is, there are no jobs in my field and the jobs that I'm qualified for outside my field don't provide adequate compensation.  Do I stick it out and wait around for severance from a company I've been with for 3 years, or do I continue hitting the pavement and searching for a new job with comparable pay?   

If you only have 3 years invested with this company, and it looks like they are going down the road, definitely look for another position. THere is a stigma attached with being part of a company that folded- like you were the cause??- (no, I know thats not the case!) and other employers might not want to "catch" the out of business virus.... You aren't going to get much of a severence package, with only 3 years, so anything good that comes along, jump at it. Start getting the training you need, and be prepared...Good luck!

Hi all.  Hope everyone is having a good day.  

   

I had to post a message somewhere about what happened a couple of days ago.  I am trying to find the right place to file a compliant.  So far it has been very difficult to find the right place.  

I run the office for my husbands construction company.  We are pretty small we only have between 3 and 4 employees.  So I do all the bookkeepping.  A few months back I got a notice from the IRS that stated that I had not sent in my 941 for December of 2004.  I thought nothing of it, thinking it might have gotten lost in the mail, so I sent off another copy and gave it no more thought.  A couple of days ago I got another letter that said they still did not have it and I needed to call the IRS immediately.  So I did.  I got some smug lady that did not like my attitude at all.  I was mad, because I know I sent the form on their forms and in thier envelope and to the address provided by the IRS.  She was so sure I was trying to excape my responsibilities, that anything I said, she just poo poo'd.  I told her I wanted this matter settled today, not 3 months from now like they usually do.  I also told her I wanted a confirmation back that the papers were received and that this matter is over today.  She gave me the fax number but then hung up on me.  I was livid now.  So, I called my local IRS office to get some help. They told me to write letters and wait 2 weeks to see what happens.  I told them no way.  So, then I got a number for an IRS advocate.  I called them, after I gave the lady all my information she put me on hold to look at my account.  when she came back on.......get this........she said my papers were there.  She said every deposit, every piece of paper, every transaction that had ever gone on with my business was there........it just wasn't processed yet.  I yelled at her.  I wasn't yelling at her so much as I was yelling at the situation.  The IRS is sending me nasty letters and trying to catch me not doing the right things and they haven't done thier part.  I was sitting in a park and ride on my way to the office on my cell phone making all these phone calls.  So I continued on to work, I was so mad by now I was in tears.  I got to the office and there was a message on my phone from the first lady at the IRS.  She did not identify herself, she just said she was calling from the IRS, she said there was a note on my account that my papers had arrived almost 3 weeks ago and that I did not need to fax another copy to them and she hung up.  Funny how, now this is thier fault and they don't want to talk about it any more.  But, I faxed the papers anyway.  I thought if they have a ton of copies floating around, they just might get a clue.  I am still mad about this.  I have done all that is expected of me and they can't do thier part.  So I am looking for a web sight or an address or something where I can file a complaint.  I don't need to be put through this garbage.  This was totally thier fault and the IRS ifs very strong in thier collection efforts when us common folk don't do the right thing, so they should have to answer to thier mistakes too.  IF ANYONE has any iformation that will help me.  Please either post it here or email me at mybzns2@hotmail.com  

THanks for your time.  

I wanted to write back to you, because I am also in a family business.  Ours is a little different.  My husband and I co-own a construction business.  He does the work and I do the bookkeeping. We also have 3-4 employees.   It is very stressful at times and rewarding on the other hand.  We have been doing it so long now, I don't know what else we would do.  

   

But, to address your problem.  You need a pat on the back for standing up for what is right.  If the old secretary was embezzling money, it needed to come out.  It is just my opinion, but since your father has put all the bookkeeping in your hands.  Don't let him make you feel bad, because now you can't keep up.  If I were you, I would take matters into my own hands.  Hire your own people as helpers.  If what he is sending you, doesn't work, then hire them yourself.  You can decide what qualifications they need, you could interview them and make sure you get the ones you want.  You don't need to walk away from the business, take charge of it.  If you have to run all your decisions through your dad, then you maybe need to sit down and have a talk with him and tell him this is what you want to do.  Tell him you have a plan to get it all back together.  Then go for it.  

As for the overtime.  There is no need to go to the labor board either.  This is just part of owning abusiness.   You work you butt off sometimes with out compensation.    There is a saying that goes, If it wasn't hard, everyone would do it,   It's the hard that makes it great.  Take charge, make a difference.  Everyone will benefit from it.  Good Luck!!