Topic : Stress at Work

  I am frustrated with my job,  my trainer, and district manager refers to himself as HNIC and not in a joking way but in a crude way.  He puts his hand out infront of my face if I talk, even if he

has ask me a  direct question.  He slapped my hand on Friday, (because I wear to much bling)

is what he said.  I wear a wedding band, and a simple band that has some stones.  I am not

flashy at all.  He asks me questions, and never allows me to answer.  He bully everyone.. He

especially likes to bully me.  I.m not sure what to say or do. !!!!!!  I am in sales.  It takes a positive

person to create sales...His negative remarks and arrogant way gets me down.  I have been

acting happy, faking it for my customers, but my sales are down, and I think it  is because

customers read through the fake smile, they see something is wrong.  I am not sure how to

handle this.  I addressed it this past Friday, and he refused to talk.  Waiting for some advice

and a way to return to my happy self.  PJ Stephens

I have worked for the Postal Service for the last 13 years. I was on the job 5 months when I was involved in a hit and run accident that resulted in the loss of my upper right arm. I came back after being out 6 months and the Postal Service has put me in several different jobs over the years. My health has deteriorated over time. My current job has changed. It used to be mostly a desk job. It is now much more physical and there is alot of walking involved. I am currently off work due to stress fractures in my toes. I was told by my Doctor that this was a result of walking on concrete floors and that because of balance issue may have caused it. The Postal Service is well known for giving employees difficulty for any absence however at this stage I am considering going out on disability. I have consulted with a couple of attorney's and found that it will probably be expensive to do. I would appreciate any advice possible.

Thank you.   

I have a co-worker that causes me so much stress that I was called into the boss’s office for my attitude. This co-worker is very needy for attention, especially from our boss, who thinks that we should be very sweet to this co-work so as not to hurt her feelings. She is very jealous if our boss pays any attention to any other co-worker, almost like a jealous girlfriend. She is very nosey and believes that I and my other co-workers talk about her. She stares at me a lot and tries to look at my monitor or listen in on my conversations on the phone. I and my other co-workers are told that it is up to us to make her happy and not to rock her boat. I and my other co-workers were just recently told that “We either get along or get out.” The management has no intention of doing anything about this co-workers problem; we are just to make her happy. My stress is building up again and I have been doing a fair job of not having to interact with this co-worker.

What do me and my co-workers do? And remember – we can’t hurt her feelings. (Isn’t that ridiculous!)

Thanks for reading

Sounds like this person is seen as a fragile creature... perhaps this person is related to someone in the "higher ups" group?  Avoiding interaction is causing your stress.  Because she is nosey and seems to want to be a part of everything.....also insecure.  You could just decide to be an open book.  Meaning that any conversation or computer work your do ...she is welcome to be a part of.  This may mellow her jealous feelings and her need to be included (especially when the boss is involved).  If she feels that she is completely welcome to/and a part of your interactions, she may cause less "trouble" and become more relaxed.  Since your bosses want her to be happy....just let her in.  After all, your doing your job, including her and letting her feel accepted might work.

good luck

Remember in HighSchool yearbooks when friends wrote "stay cool and sweet"?  Sometimes I think this was some of the best advice ever given to me.  Trying to follow it is quite a challenge though.

At work, people often revert to Jr. High/high school levels... with favortisim, cliques, rumors and back stabbing.  This is a sad truth for most american workers today. 

I try to be myself, stay  cool and sweet, and leave my work problems at work.  Very hard to do.  But, not impossible.  If you are not a part of the "in crowd", thats ok.  If you are the victim of bullies, stand up to them face to face....not "telling" or getting back in underhanded ways.  If you are pissed at your boss, dont express it at work by complaining or being negitave...the boss will prob. hear about it and things will get worse.  Without being an "kiss up"....find positive things to say about your boss or co worker.  They may or may not hear about that, but you will be putting out good vibes that can only help a bad situation.

This is what I am doing/trying to do.  I feel it is the only cool and sweet way to deal with this problem.

At least I am sticking to higher ground.  That makes me feel a lot better at the end of the day.

I had a doctor's appointment last week at 9:30 a.m., it takes an hour (round trip) to the doctor's office, so I figured I would go in to work in the afternoon.  As it turns out, I had to wait to get a prescription filled out which didn't happen until 2:15 p.m.  As soon as I returned home (2:45), I called my boss to let him know I had just walked in the door and  (as it was so late in the day and it takes 20 mins. to get to the office from my house) I would see him the next day. No problem.

Yesterday, one of my co-workers had a doctor's appointment in the morning and when she got back to the office, another co-worker said to her (in a loud enough voice so I was sure to hear him) "Oh, Betty, you went to the doctor's today and you still made it to work!"

I didn't jump in and say anything because I was angry that he thought he deserved an explanation of why I didn't make it back to work, so I figured it would be better to cool down before I react.  Then not 10 mins later he is standing at my desk talking about his family tree and showing me pictures of his ancestors back in the 1800's.

Now I'm not sure if I should even dignify his comment with any kind of reaction or whether I should just carry on like I never heard him.  What is your advice?

I changed this around a little just in case she reads this, which of course I don't want to happen.

I heard some people at work comment that a coworker makes great baked goods.  I asked this person, the one who makes these, if I were to give her some of her favorite beverage, could I get some of these in return.  She said yes.  I brought in the beverage (which was very expensive), she said it was great and that she would make the baked goods that weekend.  The following week, she didn't bring them in and again, nothing today, which is now 2 weeks later. If she had no intention of returning the favor why did she take the beverage in the first place then say that she would do it?  A deal is a deal, I held up my end of the bargain, so what's the problem?  Should I ask her about it?  And she has not said anything about it, like I'm sorry but I haven't been able to make them.  We are not friends, but when someone says they will do something then they don't, that's just very rude.  I don't want to think badly of her.  I would never do that to someone.

I have worked with the same company for the last 12 years.  Back in July they were eliminating my postion, I had the choice to either take the permanent layoff, or work in production.  I chose to give production a shot.

What a mistake!!! The supervisor I was placed under has held a grudge against me since the day I started, especially after she was demoted from a manager to a supervisor.  This woman is constantly humiliating me in front of other coworkers, she makes an ass out of the color of my hair, the clothing I wear(which are fashionable).  If I make a mistake, she ridicules me for this, but, if someone else in the work area makes the same mistake she doesn't do anything to them.  I have begged my manager to place me in another area, I then went to the director and spoke with them, I then went to HR to file a formal complaint of harrassment, and yet nothing has been done.  I placed transfers to other facilities and they were denied.  I was told by HR that there was a freeze on hiring, which I found out is not true. I spoke to a manager in another facilty and was told by them that there is not a freeze on hiring or transferring people.

This manager is going to try to see what they can do to get me moved.

When I worked in the office area i worked with appx. 50 people on a daily basis which none of them have stressed me out to the point where i take an anxiety attacks.  I have seen my Dr. for this problem, and he prescribed meds.  I do not want to go through every day of my life taking pills which make me feel sick.

I left work on wednesday early, called off thursday, and friday.  I am not going into work on monday either, I will be waiting patiently by the phone to hear from the manager of the other facility.  If he can make a miracle happen great!!! If not I think I am going to quit on Tuesday. 

What does everyone think about the situation I am in?

We have a concern about a co-worker and our manager who have been having an affair for many months. It has come to the point where it is so obvious and the entire staff has found out about the situation. It is affecting many peoples jobs and productivity due to the stress and strain not only seeing but hearing about it all day long. Things have become out of hand, Many have went to HR and to the VP of our department and still no action has been taken.  The Lies these 2 are telling are getting out of control and many people are worried about their jobs. What action can we take at this point?