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Topic : Stress at Work

Number of Replies: 237
New Messages This Week: 0
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Created on : Thursday, July 07, 2005, 09:24:47 am
Author : dataimport
How do you manage stress in the workplace? How do you leave the office at the office and manage a stress-free home life? Join us to share strategies.

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October 20, 2005, 8:29 pm CDT

Stress at Work

Quote From: jettav

I believe honesty is the best and if it were me, Iw ould voice my concerns and what you have seen, maybe do some documenting before going to to the boss. At least with whatever happens, you will know that you were honest and with nothing to hide, if they take her side then they will be the ones losing out and in the long run, they will eventually find out, I certainly would not want her to be found out and me still standing by her side without making the issue known, I think it would look worse on you if you did that for you too would be put in the same category as her. I know you do not want to lose your job and all but I personally would rather lose my job over being honest then being put in the same category as this person. I was lied on once by another employee and when the boss approached me about it, I was able to tell her what exactly happened and she kept her eyes and ears opened with the situation, remember the Truth will always make you a winner in the end.

Hi Jettav - 

  

Thanks so much for your advice.  I will def plan on documenting things within the next few days and take it from there.  You are right, honesty is always the best policy, even if it means I could potentially lose my job.  If that were to be the case, it would prove to me that this company is not the right one for me. 

  

Thanks again for your thoughts - I'll keep you updated!  :-) 

  

Tan 

  

  

 
October 23, 2005, 10:04 pm CDT

Working with parents

All,
I have a successful career currently, and plan on leaving it within a year to move back to my home-town to help my parents with their business.  Here's my question: I know it will be difficult to work for a family member, but I want it to be as positive of an experience as possible.  I worked for a friend of mine, once and while it ended up okay, our friendship definitely took a noticeable hit.  I don't want that to happen with my family.  Please any advice people have is greatly welcome.

-Schnib

P.S.
Here are some ideas and questions I have come up with so far:

1. Ground rules:  Meet with them before the whole thing starts come to agreement on how to handle conflict.
2. Handling Conflict:  The thing about conflict is that you don't want to put the other person in a position of having to "save face" when confronting them about something they are doing.   The way I sometimes handle situations such as those is to make an example of someone else.  So if, for example your coworker is playing their music too loud, you can bring up in conversation with them that a buddy of yours was complaining about it at their company.  You have to be crafty about it, or they will see right through you, but normally it is effective.  Most people are smart enough to think "do I do that?' and get the hint.
3. Direct confrontation is to be avoided under most circumstances, but my first and best guest is that if it does happen, DON'T LOOSE.  Draw your lines and hold to them.  Be sure those lines are reasonable.  Does that sound pretty close, or am I way off?  I don't wanna upset my parents, but I don't want to be stepped all over too.
4. What are some other effective, yet simple ways to handle conflict?
 
October 25, 2005, 9:11 pm CDT

You are either

Quote From: schnibitz

All,
I have a successful career currently, and plan on leaving it within a year to move back to my home-town to help my parents with their business.  Here's my question: I know it will be difficult to work for a family member, but I want it to be as positive of an experience as possible.  I worked for a friend of mine, once and while it ended up okay, our friendship definitely took a noticeable hit.  I don't want that to happen with my family.  Please any advice people have is greatly welcome.

-Schnib

P.S.
Here are some ideas and questions I have come up with so far:

1. Ground rules:  Meet with them before the whole thing starts come to agreement on how to handle conflict.
2. Handling Conflict:  The thing about conflict is that you don't want to put the other person in a position of having to "save face" when confronting them about something they are doing.   The way I sometimes handle situations such as those is to make an example of someone else.  So if, for example your coworker is playing their music too loud, you can bring up in conversation with them that a buddy of yours was complaining about it at their company.  You have to be crafty about it, or they will see right through you, but normally it is effective.  Most people are smart enough to think "do I do that?' and get the hint.
3. Direct confrontation is to be avoided under most circumstances, but my first and best guest is that if it does happen, DON'T LOOSE.  Draw your lines and hold to them.  Be sure those lines are reasonable.  Does that sound pretty close, or am I way off?  I don't wanna upset my parents, but I don't want to be stepped all over too.
4. What are some other effective, yet simple ways to handle conflict?

going to have a great time or your going to regreat it. 

  

You are right to sit down at the beginning and go over everything and I mean everything.  Try to feel if they feel that the business can't run without them.  Is the business they own a 'sacred cow' to them. 

Do they want innovation, do they want new ideas, will they listen to you, will they let you function - If you feel the answer to any of these is ???????? then I would suggest that you have a Big meeting 

and everyone put their cards out. 

  

Something like this can work IF everyone respects each others rights to run the business in an 

productive and profitable way. 

 
November 1, 2005, 8:33 am CST

Sometimes It's not worth it!!

I also have been stressed at work.... I had a job one time that I was driving to work and thought to myself, "The only thing I don't have control over is dying, everything else is optional"....So I turned my car around and went home, called and said, "I Quit"  and went out looking for something else....You find ways to make it and survive.... 

 
November 1, 2005, 5:49 pm CST

Stress at Work

Quote From: yeargain1

I also have been stressed at work.... I had a job one time that I was driving to work and thought to myself, "The only thing I don't have control over is dying, everything else is optional"....So I turned my car around and went home, called and said, "I Quit"  and went out looking for something else....You find ways to make it and survive.... 

was brousing and don't really know why I came to this board since I am a stay at home mom LOL. But I will say that I agree with you 100% as I actually walked out on a job about 11 years ago, long story short, the boss was not helping in situations that she should have been and taking sides which in what I witnessed was the wrong side, any way, the job was stressful and not having the back up that I feel employees need to do with their emplorers, well, she ticked me off and I left that day. She had a hard time filling my position because they all knew how hard it was but I left and was relieved and had absolutely no problem finding another job. My husband has had some stressful times as well, he isn't as blunt as I am and he takes a little more nonsense then I do but he has come a long way, no job is worth that kind of stress, I believe if a person can't enjoy their work, then they need to find a new place of employment.
 
November 2, 2005, 9:46 am CST

New job is driving crazy..heathcare...frustrating field...

Quote From: lucky35

I just went through this same sh*t! I was hired as a coordinator for a health care company making $45,000.00  Within 10 weeks, I was forced to resign.  It's a long story, but I was treated really bad by three of these women at the center.  I was made fun of and a lot of sh*t was stirred-up about me by another coworker and I got blamed for it.  To make matters worse, they sent me all over this region to get trained ( I had to be certified in 5 areas) and I would show-up at my destination and people at that center were rude to me and telling me "they didn't have time to train me".   I have never in my life been treated so mean and rudely. I wouldn't wish this on my worst enemy, but what I did was figured that I had absolutely nothing to lose.  If you are prepared to find another place to work (which being a nurse I don't think that would be difficult).  I would contact the head of Human Resources and cause as much trouble for this woman as possible. I would call her boss and tell him/her exactly what she's been doing and then call his/her boss and go all the way up to the Board of Directors if you have to and  I would call their Business Practices Line and complain, too.  You may even want to contact a lawyer for age discrimination (anyone over 40 is at risk, although that's a bit drastic).  My point is, if you're out the door (which you probably are), I'd bring as many people down with me.  Don't leave quietly! This may not get them fired (but then again it might), but it would at least put some misery in their life as they have done to you.  I hope this helps.

I can sympathize. I've been a prof. caregivier for 10 years, and been lucky to travel around the country with my hubby and never had a problem finding work in my field. But we moved back to the mainland from Hawaii in June, and found to my amazement just how brutal young people in this field can be. I'm 46 years old, and working with young care givers younger than my two children. Their lack of self control of their mouths, attitudes and behavior baffle me. Being a temporary staff support, I come into the facility to assist existing caregivers, but I have little or no avenues to direct my concerns. I have to provide the best of care of my ability, make sure no abuse occurs while I work with my asigned co-worker, and just get through the shift without grinding my teeth to the bone.  

The stress is so high that I jumped at the chance at a job offer referral from another facility with better benefits, and hopefully better caregiving environment.  I jumped through all their pre-hiring hoops...a physical an occupational and physical therapy examination, background checks, and drug testing and etc....only to be informed the following day by their Human Resource Dept. that the job offer had been withdrawn because I lifted 65 pounds and not 75 pounds due to the fact that I was recovering from a head cold that is going around all the healthcare facilities in the area. I met all the other requirements, and had excellent recommendations, and besides, they sought me out, not the other way around. I had my resignation all written up to deliver the following day to my current company, and the job offer being withdrawn just devastated me.  

The other healthcare facility told me that all the numbers had been entered into their central corporate database, and it determeined that I was not "fit" to do the job.  

Can anyone imagine how that just felt like a fist in my heart and soul? My worth as an individual comes down to numbers being entered into a computer program? How is this right? 

I'm good at what I do as a caregiver, a professional who provides care to those that no longer have that ability to do that for themselves whether it is temporary or long term.  

I will go back to work today at my current position, an question my abilities until I can work this out in my heart and mind. Perhaps it is time to change careers, because it appears that the human factor, individual abilities no longer matter...that recovering from a head cold determines your worth as a human being in the work force anymore. We are no longer people anymore...we are numbers........this saddens me more than anyone can know. 

 
November 4, 2005, 12:26 pm CST

Stress At Work

     The word "stress" barely describes what I'm enduring at work: people who refuse to adhere to deadlines and procedures, their "inability" to do the simplest tasks (not "stuck on stupid," buying a condo and moving in) and the supervisors who support them. There are situations that raise your stress level; there are people who are stress levels unto themselves; I work with both. The sad part is, I've worked here for over 15 years and am not qualified for anything else (except for a fast-food restaurant). On top of all this, this organization has "expanded;" translation: they have a multi-million-dollar building project for which they've had to borrow money, and the cost is coming out of the employees' wages by way of "comp time" and no cost-of-living increase like in past years. I don't know how much more I can endure of all this; I see my paycheck and KNOW I won't be paying some bills this month.
 
November 4, 2005, 7:38 pm CST

Non for profit

I am 54 years old and took a job with a non for profit organization a year ago.....I admit I didnt do my homework regarding this type of organization....the constant crying about money, begging for things that I need to do my job, the constant budget talk etc is really starting to get to me.....and yet they seem to waste money on the most ridiculous things!!...Im just not used to that from my previous job...the job is closer to home and better work hours....but, I dont know if Im going to last!....has anyone else worked for a non for profit?...are all non for profits like this?....how did you deal with it?....thanks 

  

Donna 

 
November 4, 2005, 11:54 pm CST

Are we in junior high or what?!

I work in a small office, and the manager is a single male, about 26, and the assistant manager is 23 and a married young girl, with 3 kids.  Kids ages are 6 years to less than 2 years, been with her husband since the age of 14.  There's flirting, mostly on her part, but of course, he is enjoying it. It is quite noticable, and of course, rumors are starting.  There was a call to her husband, even, mentioning the closeness to him.  But instead of trying to set things straight, more or less, they're more worried about who made the call.  Things like "passing notes" and listening in on other peoples conversation, like they'd hear something.  I swear it's like being in junior high all over again.  It's very tiring.Been there, done that once.  Don't want to do it again. 
 
November 5, 2005, 5:21 pm CST

non-profits

Quote From: dondina2

I am 54 years old and took a job with a non for profit organization a year ago.....I admit I didnt do my homework regarding this type of organization....the constant crying about money, begging for things that I need to do my job, the constant budget talk etc is really starting to get to me.....and yet they seem to waste money on the most ridiculous things!!...Im just not used to that from my previous job...the job is closer to home and better work hours....but, I dont know if Im going to last!....has anyone else worked for a non for profit?...are all non for profits like this?....how did you deal with it?....thanks 

  

Donna 

Hi Donna, 

  

I've never worked for a ngo myself but a friend of mine told me similar horror stories from two different ngo's that she worked for in D.C.  Her analysis was that people who make careers in ngo's (in leadership positions) are there because they have a passion for what they do, but don't necessarily good management skills.  She also said there were a lot of big egos which clashed, and finally she quit and got a job somewhere else.  I guess it's up to you to decide if the convenience is worth the headache - only you can decide that.  In the meantime you might collect all sorts of information for your own version of Dilbert!   

 
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