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Topic : Stress at Work

Number of Replies: 237
New Messages This Week: 0
Last Reply On:
Created on : Thursday, July 07, 2005, 09:24:47 am
Author : dataimport
How do you manage stress in the workplace? How do you leave the office at the office and manage a stress-free home life? Join us to share strategies.

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December 13, 2005, 4:14 am CST

POSTAL STRESS!!!!

You can see my diary entry of today, but..........I need help!!!! 

Ever since my contacting the Office of Inspector General, (several times, I might add.) I have been a "TARGET" at work. His employee 'friends' (drinking & biker buddies), who are my fellow employees are trying to set me up to be fired AND treating me like #@*%!  

I am seeing a mental health counselor and a psychiatrist but at this point it is not helping. My boss will not let me take my anti-anxiety medication in work. He says I talk to much on them. Maybe I do? But I NEED it!  On November 28th I was rushed out of work by the paramedics as I felt like I was having a heart attack! My diagnosis at the hospital was anxiety and hypertension.  I was out of work due to this until December 2nd.  I couldn't go to work today as I've been crying all night.  I am on the verge of a nervous breakdown! 

If there are any other Postal employee's out there experiencing similar problems, PLEASE contact me. I need help.....and soon. I feel my work life is falling to pieces, and this is effecting my home life. 

I'm lost and need to find my way. 

 
December 13, 2005, 4:14 am CST

POSTAL STRESS!!!!

You can see my diary entry of today, but..........I need help!!!! 

Ever since my contacting the Office of Inspector General, (several times, I might add.) I have been a "TARGET" at work. His employee 'friends' (drinking & biker buddies), who are my fellow employees are trying to set me up to be fired AND treating me like #@*%!  

I am seeing a mental health counselor and a psychiatrist but at this point it is not helping. My boss will not let me take my anti-anxiety medication in work. He says I talk to much on them. Maybe I do? But I NEED it!  On November 28th I was rushed out of work by the paramedics as I felt like I was having a heart attack! My diagnosis at the hospital was anxiety and hypertension.  I was out of work due to this until December 2nd.  I couldn't go to work today as I've been crying all night.  I am on the verge of a nervous breakdown! 

If there are any other Postal employee's out there experiencing similar problems, PLEASE contact me. I need help.....and soon. I feel my work life is falling to pieces, and this is effecting my home life. 

I'm lost and need to find my way. 

 
December 14, 2005, 2:09 pm CST

Caustic/Harassing Work Environments

  I've worked as a professional in government for over 15 years.  There are laws, unions, and EEO offices to help with work place problems; however, there is no law against bad, poor, or immature  management.  There is no law against incompetent management.  Some of our laws are weak or don't have any teeth to keep anybody acountable.  There is no law against general harasment.  The only laws that seem to have teeth and accountability are the protected classes (race, religion, sex, etc.).  If one can tie their environment, harassment/ bullying to one of these protected classes, then everyone listens intently to make it all go away; however, the employee is blacklisted from then on.  It is easy to get an attorney when the problem is tied to a protected class.  There are laws against retaliation towards an employee who takes an action or exercises his rights and there are laws to protect whistle blowers, but these people ARE retaliated and harassed in subtle ways. 

Harasment today is covert, subtle, hidden, and sneaky.  The best harasser is one who is experienced in knowing the laws, their boundaries, and their loop holes.  It is surprising what they can get away with having this expertise and knowledge.  

Despite the reputation of job security that government jobs tend to have, I have seen people be fired, demoted, harassed, bullied, develop physical illness/ailments, and be in tears of distress.  I've seen 'problem' employees shuffled to not have to deal with them.  I have seen jobs and promotions given to favored and preferred employees despite the required process of testing, merit ranking, and interviews.   I am surprised to see the extent well off people will tolertate harassment when it affects their physical health and mental health.  The need to make money or protect our retirement becomes more important than the need to take care of ourselves and our family.  It seems that the longer the harassment or caustic work environment is endured the worse a person's self image, confidence, and mental state becomes.  Our work DOES affect our family life and especially when our work environment is caustic.

Often, the brave or naive ones that speak out become targets, are labled, or are  retaliated against.  Some people see the writing on the wall and try to leave before things get worse.  Some are unable to leave.  Seasoned workers learn to become quiet and keep a low profile so they will go unnoticed; thus, hoping to escape attention and not become a target.  Some workers will violate their values/ethics (e.g. lie) to protect themselves or their jobs, or because they sense management wants them to state/behave a certain way although their values are against it.  I've heard this referred to as prostituting oneself.  Then there are some that are able to support the bullies or bad management for a time (prostituting themselves) until they get what they want (promotion, etc.) and finally leave to another position outside of the realm of harassment/bullying.  The people who prostitue themselves become an extension of the bullier and bully themselves although after they have left they admit they are glad to be gone and that it was hell to work under the bullies. 

You can't really know if your friend at work is really your friend until you no longer have to work with them.  I've learned that one voice speaking out against bullying or any wrong doing will not be listened to but several voices unitedly speaking out against bullying or a wrong doing will be listened to.  The more voices the better.  People are afraid to unite and speak out; many back out.  Many will not support other co-workers out of fear of being labled or becoming a target.  I believe that to not speak out perpetuates the problem/bullying. 

Despite my experiences and the knowledge I've gained, I believe what my Amnesty International shirt states:  "The only thing needed for the triumph of evil is for enough good people to do nothing."
 
December 21, 2005, 4:33 pm CST

The wheels on the bus go round and round.....

Hi all 

  

I am writing in regard to a situation I encountered recently at my bus driving job.  I am a sub - driver for our local school district.  All combined I have driven bus for 12 years now.  I used to drive a regular route.  But, the last few years, I have been busy helping my husband run his construction business, so subbing is what I do now. 

  

A couple of years back the manager of the bus garage retired and we now have a new manager.  In the time that he has been there, he has changed things around and he is making some really bad decisions.  He had 2 of his drivers quit last year over fiels trips.  Some people get all of them others don't get any.  He has told me that since I am "only a sub" I don't get field trips.  Which, with everything else I do, it's not a big deal to me.  But what is a big deal is what happened around Thanksgiving time.......  I had made arrangements with one of the drivers to drive her route both morning and afternoon for the 3 days leading up to Thanksgiving, so she could go away with her family.  I have 15 minute drive to the bus garage, so I was up and ready to go on time each day.  On the second day, I was up and on my way and when I get to the bus garage, the bus that I was driving was gone.  I searched all over the bus yard, thinking maybe I was taking a different bus this morning.  My boss was also gone.  I ask one of the mechanics that was there, and they said that my boss has left a few minutes ago.  I couldn't believe what I was hearing.  So, I went home.  But mind you I was livid.  I called my boss on his cell phone, which he didn't answer, and ask him what was up?  I was not late, I drove the day before and nothing was wrong.  I was not understanding this.  He called me back as soon as the run was over and just appologised all over himself.  He gave me some stupid excuses like, one of the other subs always left him hanging, I never have.  He said he heard sirens and assumed I was maybe in traffic.  I was not.  I ask if he has my cell phone number.  Which I knew he did, because that is what we were talking on.  I ask why hadn't he called me to see if I was coming, how close I was, etc etc.  He didn't have an answer.  Fact of the matter is, he came in to work with his head up his you know where and did not give me one ounce of respect for doing what I said I would do and that is being there to drive the morning route.  I was so upset and he begged me to come and drive for him.  He told me, he doesn't want any one else subbing for him........Lier........... 

After this all happened, he has me scheduled another day and it was early out.  I had not looked at the schedual real close and I missed the fact that it was early out.  I would have thought that he might have called me to remind me and make sure I was coming in.......when did he call?   At 2:15, when I should have been there already. 

I just don't know what to do.  I went in today and he had goodies and gifts for everyone because of Christmas.  I left mine sitting on the counter.  So he comes running after me with it.  He seems to think that a gift with a pretty bow on it is going to fix things. (he also is refusing to talk about any of the before mentioned situations.  I am just supposed to get over it)I refused to take it at first, but I didn't want him to cry so I took it and thanked him for it. 

I used to look forward to going to the bus garage and visiting with the other drivers and being part of the group.  But now, I get mad on the drive over to the bus garage.  I don't like being there. 
So, I am thinking I need to quit.  Where I am a sub, I am not vital to the operation of the bus garage.  The only bad part is, I like the little bit of cash this job always gives me.  I have also made some really nice friends there and I would miss them if I didn't go over there any more.  So I need some advice on how to handle this situation.  I should quit, because I am angry.  But I shouldn't quit and be more forgiving I guess.  But I am too black and white thinking to just roll over. 

HELP! 

 
December 25, 2005, 9:34 pm CST

boss wants a personal relationship

 over the last year i have felt so confused about having a personal "relationship" with my supervisor.......after i got laid-off i received an e-mail from him saying he would like to keep in touch and then in later emails he started telling me all this personal stuff and saying how he didn't love his wife and was only there for the kids' sake, blah, blah, blah........ i was totally surprised at how "different" he was around me when we worked alone in the office and online he was trying to tell me how much he needed my support, my encouragement and my friendship...........i had never been involved with another man (i have been married 14 yrs) and being new to the computer i found out how easily it was to open up and tell him so many personal things..........before i knew it, he was making up excuses to stop by my house and bring me stuff and we started out hugging, and "comforting" each other as he put it............he seemed to get "inside my head" with how much he "needed" me when eventually i realized he just wanted sex..............because, after about a year of emailing each other, at work, before i was laid-off again, he got so aggressive and would grab me, and actually trying to have sex with me right there in his office.............and, we met and went somewhere together and before he dropped me off at my car, he swerved off the road like a maniac, told me to get on his lap and i cannot believe it, but, he jacked off on me, and, after it was over, i felt so bad, so terrible, to this day, when i drive by that place, i get so upset..........i even took his emails to a christian counselor because i started getting depressed, and felt guilt, and shame, and yet i missed him sometimes, because my husband is an alcoholic and not emotionally there for me, and he would talk to me, anyways, my counselor read his emails and cautioned me that he was dangerous and started telling me he had the signs of a stalker, and was obsessed with me and fantasized about me, etc................any time i have tried to break it off with him, he has come by my house to talk to me, and/or emailed me begging me to "be his friend".............most of the time it is like he has two personalities.........he is also an officer and has the respect of of everyone and i decided to give up my job instead of going back....................i feel so used, he is married also and has 6 kids..............he describes his wife as "evil" and "selfish" and how he wants and needs me, etc........i broke it off for good, blocked him from my computer, and didn't go to our xmas party..........he tried calling me and all............but, i cannot handle this sneakiness and he still won't admit it's an affair because we never got naked all the way or went all the way...............and, he tried to control me because he was the boss...............any encouragement will help, because i feel like i was maniupulated..................
 
December 26, 2005, 6:21 pm CST

Maniupulated - no

Quote From: spicegirl2

 over the last year i have felt so confused about having a personal "relationship" with my supervisor.......after i got laid-off i received an e-mail from him saying he would like to keep in touch and then in later emails he started telling me all this personal stuff and saying how he didn't love his wife and was only there for the kids' sake, blah, blah, blah........ i was totally surprised at how "different" he was around me when we worked alone in the office and online he was trying to tell me how much he needed my support, my encouragement and my friendship...........i had never been involved with another man (i have been married 14 yrs) and being new to the computer i found out how easily it was to open up and tell him so many personal things..........before i knew it, he was making up excuses to stop by my house and bring me stuff and we started out hugging, and "comforting" each other as he put it............he seemed to get "inside my head" with how much he "needed" me when eventually i realized he just wanted sex..............because, after about a year of emailing each other, at work, before i was laid-off again, he got so aggressive and would grab me, and actually trying to have sex with me right there in his office.............and, we met and went somewhere together and before he dropped me off at my car, he swerved off the road like a maniac, told me to get on his lap and i cannot believe it, but, he jacked off on me, and, after it was over, i felt so bad, so terrible, to this day, when i drive by that place, i get so upset..........i even took his emails to a christian counselor because i started getting depressed, and felt guilt, and shame, and yet i missed him sometimes, because my husband is an alcoholic and not emotionally there for me, and he would talk to me, anyways, my counselor read his emails and cautioned me that he was dangerous and started telling me he had the signs of a stalker, and was obsessed with me and fantasized about me, etc................any time i have tried to break it off with him, he has come by my house to talk to me, and/or emailed me begging me to "be his friend".............most of the time it is like he has two personalities.........he is also an officer and has the respect of of everyone and i decided to give up my job instead of going back....................i feel so used, he is married also and has 6 kids..............he describes his wife as "evil" and "selfish" and how he wants and needs me, etc........i broke it off for good, blocked him from my computer, and didn't go to our xmas party..........he tried calling me and all............but, i cannot handle this sneakiness and he still won't admit it's an affair because we never got naked all the way or went all the way...............and, he tried to control me because he was the boss...............any encouragement will help, because i feel like i was maniupulated..................

Semi went along with it - yes.  You should have ended it when he started to get 'personal'.  Both of you continued seeing each other.  If you would have put your foot down hard - he should have gotten the picture.  Both were hugging and then 'comforting' each other. 

  

Me thinks you had better find another job. 

 
December 26, 2005, 6:44 pm CST

rings true for all business workers

Quote From: tinkbl

  I've worked as a professional in government for over 15 years.  There are laws, unions, and EEO offices to help with work place problems; however, there is no law against bad, poor, or immature  management.  There is no law against incompetent management.  Some of our laws are weak or don't have any teeth to keep anybody acountable.  There is no law against general harasment.  The only laws that seem to have teeth and accountability are the protected classes (race, religion, sex, etc.).  If one can tie their environment, harassment/ bullying to one of these protected classes, then everyone listens intently to make it all go away; however, the employee is blacklisted from then on.  It is easy to get an attorney when the problem is tied to a protected class.  There are laws against retaliation towards an employee who takes an action or exercises his rights and there are laws to protect whistle blowers, but these people ARE retaliated and harassed in subtle ways. 

Harasment today is covert, subtle, hidden, and sneaky.  The best harasser is one who is experienced in knowing the laws, their boundaries, and their loop holes.  It is surprising what they can get away with having this expertise and knowledge.  

Despite the reputation of job security that government jobs tend to have, I have seen people be fired, demoted, harassed, bullied, develop physical illness/ailments, and be in tears of distress.  I've seen 'problem' employees shuffled to not have to deal with them.  I have seen jobs and promotions given to favored and preferred employees despite the required process of testing, merit ranking, and interviews.   I am surprised to see the extent well off people will tolertate harassment when it affects their physical health and mental health.  The need to make money or protect our retirement becomes more important than the need to take care of ourselves and our family.  It seems that the longer the harassment or caustic work environment is endured the worse a person's self image, confidence, and mental state becomes.  Our work DOES affect our family life and especially when our work environment is caustic.

Often, the brave or naive ones that speak out become targets, are labled, or are  retaliated against.  Some people see the writing on the wall and try to leave before things get worse.  Some are unable to leave.  Seasoned workers learn to become quiet and keep a low profile so they will go unnoticed; thus, hoping to escape attention and not become a target.  Some workers will violate their values/ethics (e.g. lie) to protect themselves or their jobs, or because they sense management wants them to state/behave a certain way although their values are against it.  I've heard this referred to as prostituting oneself.  Then there are some that are able to support the bullies or bad management for a time (prostituting themselves) until they get what they want (promotion, etc.) and finally leave to another position outside of the realm of harassment/bullying.  The people who prostitue themselves become an extension of the bullier and bully themselves although after they have left they admit they are glad to be gone and that it was hell to work under the bullies. 

You can't really know if your friend at work is really your friend until you no longer have to work with them.  I've learned that one voice speaking out against bullying or any wrong doing will not be listened to but several voices unitedly speaking out against bullying or a wrong doing will be listened to.  The more voices the better.  People are afraid to unite and speak out; many back out.  Many will not support other co-workers out of fear of being labled or becoming a target.  I believe that to not speak out perpetuates the problem/bullying. 

Despite my experiences and the knowledge I've gained, I believe what my Amnesty International shirt states:  "The only thing needed for the triumph of evil is for enough good people to do nothing."

Today's workers are treated no differently than women under Taliban rules.  Do not show your face, do not speak unless spoken to,  restricted to activities that are "allowed" by the company, etc.     We are given a choice to wear "invisible burquas" to mask our real selves or find another job with the same rules.   How many people would have a job if they were ever on Dr. Phil? It's hard to separate that type of work from home, but it is the only way to keep yourself sane, even if it is for only 16 or less hours a day. 

  

  

 
December 28, 2005, 8:45 pm CST

The pressure is everywhere

I have been looking for a job for the past three months and every classified ad I read all state "fast paced" or "able to handle multipule tasks" and my favorite is "and other administrative duties".   It seems to me that every employer wants their employees to do the  work of two people for half the pay!  Talk about stress!  And forget about talking to the HR department.  I am a human being not a machine.  If they want to replace me with a machine that can do a job faster and without errors (note that I said faster not better!) then it seems to me that going into a business for myself is the only option.  At least I would be my own boss, make my own hours and keep the profits for myself.   There are grants to help one get started in business and the SBA to assist you in every way possilbe with great advice.  The problem is finding the kind of business that is best suited for me.  And that is where I am now.  If anyone is reading this and can suggest any e-commerce businesses, please advise.  Thanks.
 
December 31, 2005, 11:31 am CST

I know for a fact

Quote From: ludovina

I have been looking for a job for the past three months and every classified ad I read all state "fast paced" or "able to handle multipule tasks" and my favorite is "and other administrative duties".   It seems to me that every employer wants their employees to do the  work of two people for half the pay!  Talk about stress!  And forget about talking to the HR department.  I am a human being not a machine.  If they want to replace me with a machine that can do a job faster and without errors (note that I said faster not better!) then it seems to me that going into a business for myself is the only option.  At least I would be my own boss, make my own hours and keep the profits for myself.   There are grants to help one get started in business and the SBA to assist you in every way possilbe with great advice.  The problem is finding the kind of business that is best suited for me.  And that is where I am now.  If anyone is reading this and can suggest any e-commerce businesses, please advise.  Thanks.

that you are good at least one thing and possibly 2 or 3.  What do you really like to do, what do you like to do, and what do you feel comfortable doing - ie, It feels Natural. 

  

I myself am finishing up a website - taken me a little longer than planned but ... 

  

If you do e-commerce it will all rest on your shoulders - so you had better know what your doing.  If you buy a business - you should know more than average about it - and remember if you find that the employees are really good - let them function and help you run the business - tooo many business owners think they have to continually manage the business and their people. 

 
January 2, 2006, 11:52 am CST

happy stressed

Quote From: tara_shali

When I worked I too had stress at home due to stress from work . So I decided to stay home when I found out I was pregnant. I now have a beautiful 6 month old whom I have seen grow all day everyday except M-Thursday 6-11  because I go to school. I absolutely have no stress now so I love this "mommy thing". Maybe not everyone has the chance to stay home due to lack of income but that is why I love doing what I do because I get to make money also!!! 

Blessings to you for being able to be a mom and do what you want to do! Jewels
 
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