Topic : Stress at Work

Hey ya'll  

How would you like my work schedule?  2-10:30 a.m. Mon, & Tues.  off Wed   1-9:30 pm. Thurs thru Frid.?  Open and then close, open and close.  It's rough and yes its stressful, but I am oh so thankful that I have a job to go to!  Switching schedules and work stress aside, I am the blessed one, as many people would love to find a job!  How about the victims of Katrina?  Now that's a stressful situation.  May God help them!  For all of you out there stressed out, overworked, underpaid, or without a job, -may you find the strength you need to go on and to make the right decisions, in this coming year. Jewels 

Hi. i'm new here on Dr.Phill.com. just wanted to share some of my  sadnees and ideas. I worked as senior male nurse, trying all my best and effort to carry on in my profession and looking forword for higher study ( BSN ). The poblem is hat my head of deparment is too bossy and very moooooooooooooody, and she doesn't like the truth. On the other hand, i'm very straight , open and honest guy, I don't like duople faces people. For example, if she made a mistake i try to advise her very politely and friendly wich she doesnt like. Since six years i;'m trying to cary on in my studies,but she is like fish bone in the throat. I don't want to ( suck up ) ,ave two faces nor keeping silent as we are dealing with human lives. I also went to the higher autherity to give an offecial compalints, however there was no use as everyone are in her pucket. 

If you were in my position what will you  do      ?? 

I have a stressful job that I'm also thankful to go to , but I also realize that my productivity is reduced by the distrust, intolerance and manipulation occurring in the office.  Either way, both the company and the workers cannot get ahead. That is a very similar situation to that of the victims of the past years' natural tragedies falling thru the cracks.  Many people would give up a lot of money if they were treated with dignity in any situation.  May leaders find the strength from their spiritual leaders do the right thing for all and not just for themselves.

Manley in our country most of the time we are stress in our work i didn't know whey may be we didn't know how to play with work game , we didn't unrestrained the level of the debarment our Head manager we didn't know how to manage our work time we didn't know to manage our relation as work group  

  

I'm 22 I've worked at a nursing home for 5 years and I have realized there is no way to leave work at work you take eveything home with you. When people ask me how I can even do my job I tell them I drink alot to get through the day and all the thoughts I deal with when I get home. Some are good some are bad but if it wasn't for all those things I would not be the person I am today. I feel like I have to be a family to everyone because most of there familys are not there for them. I is not easy if I had one thing to say to everyone if you have a family member in a nursing home go and take time to see them they need you.

 I would actually love to have stress at work right now. I've been stressed just trying to find a job. I've searched every internet site I can find and every newspaper in my area. Unfortunately, I'm either too educated or not educated enough. My stress level is thru the roof right now living off of Welfare. I have two children to support, their father sends me no child support, and I'm barely making ends meet every month. I have just enough to pay rent, keep the electricity on, make sure I have Internet service to continue my education, phone service, a car bought from a friend (no insurance included), and making sure we have the necessities of daily life. On top of all this, my daughters are emotional wrecks and need to see counselors to help them deal with my divorce, our near homelessness, and how we have no money to buy them shoes, clothes, or sometimes toilet paper. My stress has begun to manifest itself into a muscle cramp in my right shoulder. Whenever I feel the world beginning to crush me, I get this stabbing pain in my right shoulder. I have to mentally calm myself, and kind of meditate until it goes away. Who knows what other problems I will suffer from the onset of stress if I don't find a way out of my messed up life.

but try and calm down.  I went thru either too educ or not enough also.  You are concentrating sooo much on your negatives that I don't see where you are trying to focus on getting yourself out of the hole(sure some of it isn't self induced).  Being on welfare isn't the end.  Have you gone to the state and have them sic your ex, have you done calls on your behalf.  Do something before your blood pressure goes sky high and a stoke happens - It's Legal to think and take care of yourself.

Nearly two and a half years ago, I started a new job.  I clearly remember in the interview my supervisor saying that after the three-month mark, my pay would go up to $19 / hour, several dollars higher than my starting wage.  Also, he said that when I complete three months I'd get medical benefits.  Well, neither happened.  I didn't get my health insurance until five months.  And I waited for months for the raise he promised me.  It never happened when he said nor did I get the amount he told me in interview.  Well over a year later from my start date he only gave me a dollar more than my starting wage.  For a college grad whose been out of college many years, I always thought the starting wage was pathetic.  I also always knew that I was overqualified for the job.  Anyway, some time after that I told him what he told me in the interview and he's like, "did I say that?" I wish it was put into writing.  I knew I could never convince this lying boss my worth.  He's just two-faced and makes false promises.  So I lived with this lousy wage for some time.  I became complacent and stopped caring.  The stress wasn't worth it.  So I remained the good, loyal employee that I was and still am to this day, did excellent work, hoping that I'd get acknowledgement for a job well done and a decent wage to reflect that.  Never happened.  My supervisor hardly praises my work.  I get more feedback from other individuals I assist! 

  

My supervisor is disorganized.  The employer is not a structured environment.  One gal is a control freak who thinks she's the boss but she's not.  The guy down the hall is stressed all the time and cusses.  The president has mood swings and balled my new coworker out on her first day all because she transferred a call and let it go to voicemail.  (But I can deal with him any day compared to my supervisor who is being mean by not giving me the raise I deserve.  I think he's power hungry.  It's a very sad situation that this has to happen with management.  When will management start to care?  The employees are what make the company.  Wouldn't it make sense to compensate them a liveable wage or salary?  I put in so much energy into this company and all I get is chump change.   

  

Last December 1, I gave my two-faced (backstabbing) supervisor a raise letter.  He said this is good and that there'll be something.  I gave him a range of $14 - $16 / hour.   

  

Having a college degree and being out of school for more than a decade, I certainly deserve more than $11.  Right?  I certainly think so!  It's ridiculous to have a BA and make under $20,000 a  year!  I'm so undervalued at this job, it makes me sick to my stomache. 

  

Well, the raise he gave me was no raise but  a lousy 5 percent increase.  Hardly a raise.  That is pretty much nothing.  And I know they have the budget to pay more because at least two of my ex-coworkers got paid more.  How interesting that I outlasted all of them (except the new gal) and I'm the one whose worth the least...very interesting and extremely FISHY. 

  

My previous coworker was in her early 20s, hasn't received her BA yet and she made two dollars more!  When I told her what I was being paid, she was shocked!  She just couldn't believe that I had a BA and making peanuts.  She and I both agreed it is a crappy place.  She even mentioned that my supervisor doesn't pitch me, meaning that he doesn't pitch to the prez potential work that I can do. 

  

I sense my supervisor may be threatened by me.  He fears that I just may be too smart for my job and he can't handle it! 

  

Basically, I'm stressed because my supervisor plays favorites and discriminates.  I notice I've outlasted all of my ex-coworkers and I know for sure that at least two of them (in their early 20s) got paid more than me.  The new gal is in her late 40s to early 50s.  She started around last November and is being paid three dollars more.   

  

Wouldn't you think that since I've dedicated over two years to that place that I'd be worth at least the amount she's getting?  She just comes along and gets a fatter paycheck and that makes me mad! 

  

In the Christmas card given to me from the president (above my supervisor) he said something along the lines of, "everybody loves your work."  If they do, where's the wage to match? 

  

I spoke to a friend about this over the weekend and she thought that this is wrong what is going on.  She just couldn't believe it. 

  

I'm so ready to resign from this company which is basically worthless.  I'm valueless to them.   If they paid me what I'm worth and valued me, I'd consider staying but I just don't see that happening, even after two and a half years. 

  

What is interesting is that after I gave my supervisor the raise letter, he told me not to tell the (president of the school.)  I found that quite odd.  I've worked hard and made sure the office has been run smoothly.  Many times I managed it by myself when between coworkers.  So why would he want to hide my letter from the president?  It's like he's doubting my value and doesn't want me to go over his head to remind the prez of my value.  Very corrupt place. 

  

I don't want to go over his head and talk to (the president) for fear of repurcussions.  When I do resign, I'll be writing a letter to the president explaining my disappointment that my supervisor didn't place enough value on me as a worker.  At that point, I'll be out of there and won't care what he thinks but I hope the prez cans my supervisors for managing improperly or treating me unfairly! 

  

I'm just really stressed and angry right now because I've devoted so much time to working hard there.  I feel I'm being used and being taken advantage of for the least possible pay. 

  

Dedication and loyalty mean nothing there. 

  

When employers take care of their employees, the employees will take care of the employer.  I've been taking care of the employer by doing what I'm supposed to be doing, but I'm being compensated poverty-level wages.  It just doesn't make sense. 

  

I'm frustrated beyond words. 

  

P.S. also, my supervisor treats me like I'm stupid.  For months I wanted to use a certain software application to learn it.  He would say to me, "it's too hard or it's too complicated."  Being computer and software savvy, I knew I could do it.  He never let me use it.  Months later I did, and guess what?  I learned the program and recreated forms all by myself without his help.  Yes, I had to play around with it but it wasn't hard or complicated! 

  

He also can't handle it when things are easy for me.  One time he said to me something like, "don't tell (prez) that it's easy.  What a ridiculous comment!  He should be proud that I find a task easy Vs hard.  But impressed, he's not because he's stuck in his own world.  Instead, he wants everything to appear difficult to the prez.   

  

What is so irritating about being managed by this bad apple is that instead of giving employees projects to do to see what they can do, he withholds information or prevents an employee from working on this or that for fear they can't do anything (or maybe fear that they may be smart enough to do it!) 

  

I thought at the beginning I had a good supervisor but I was wrong.  It took me over 24 months to realize I'm being managed by a wimp! 

  

The prez told me I'd be doing a certain responsible task.  That never happened.  When I mentioned it to my supervisor, he gave off this vibe that it was a joke.  Oh, but he can give a freshly scrubbed young 20-something just out of college a fancy title, the chance to work with the prez's wife, and the responsible task that the prez later told me I could do (after she left.)  I never got to do that task. 

  

I sense the prez may value me more than my supervisor but the supervisor doesn't want to due to reasons unknown.  Big mystery here. 

  

All I get is false promises from this employer.  I'm angry and want out. 

  

There's so much more but it will turn into a book. 

  

I just wanted to vent. 

I'm so sorry to hear that you're going thru all of this at work.  When your work life sucks, it's bound to happen that your home life will be affected.  I love when people say, "don't take work home with you" - or, oh God...worse..."Don't bring your personal problems into the office...".  The last time I checked with my doctor, he didn't indicate I had an on/off switch so...   Anyway, there's very few of us out there that can't relate.  I know I can relate and I really feel for you. 

  

Let me ask you this.  Would all the injustices of your corporate world be erased with a $10 / hr raise?  Because I don't think they would.  If they paid you $20 per hour and promoted you to assistant manager of your department, just under your current supervisor - you'd still be disgusted with a company that's treated you so poorly for so long.  As a Human Resources professional (no, i'm really not the enemy...haha), my best advice for you is to truly start looking for another company.  I don't generally advise people to run away from a problem - but it sounds to me like you've fought the good fight and there's little else to be done here.  Besides, it's my professional experience that once an employee hits a certain level of disrespect and disgust for their employer - there's really no turning back.  Unless the Company's bought out by another and you find your whole new management team to be the best of the best...  And what's the chance of that happening?   

  

Besides professional experience, I'm also speaking from personal experience.  My entire adult life was spent competing with people (usually my own age) who had 4-yrs of higher education versus my 10 years of professional experience.  I ended up at one company that used that against me at every turn...forgetting, of course, that they couldn't seem to keep anyone with no experience but a piece of embossed paper from the local university.  There I stayed...for years...being looked over / passed over / bent over until I just couldn't take it anymore.  The minute I posted my resume online - my entire attitude at work changed.  The nano-second I got my first response and request for interview - my entire attitude at work changed again.  And let me tell you...there is NO GREATER THRILL than handing your resignation letter to a boss that you despise and disrepect.   

  

I'm truly wishing you all the best and hope that everything works out for you.  Just try to remember that the company you work for isn't the only company out there.  Truly, there are other fish in the sea...or, at least, other sharks in tank! 

  

Best wishes!! 

Thank you so much for caring.  I'm glad there are others out there who understand my situation.  

  

Oh, in my previous post about the part where I became complacent.  I used the wrong word.  I meant disinterested.  I felt I hit a plateau or glass ceiling with my supervisor -- that I couldn't communicate my worth to him anymore  -- and as a result I temporarily stopped caring (I gave up) about my situation for a while, took classes, lived my life, and just went along with being the undervalued worker.  I didn't have another job to go to and I definitely didn't want to be unemployed so although I was grateful I had the job, I have been longing to leave for months. 

  

I hope other managers learn something from my pain.  I dealt with some awful politics a few years back when a new supervisor took over and you know, after that (that's a book, too) I deserve to be treated right! 

  

I ask myself many times:  Why me?  Why me?  Why?  Why?  Please stop this garbage!  It's enough to drive you crazy.  I just want to work and make a living!  I have no time for games.  I just want to be respected, valued, acknowledged, and most importantly compensated a reasonable salary that someone w/a BA should be making.  Because of my efforts, I deserve to be making more!  Like my previous coworker said, "you totally deserve it.  C'mon now, what is he pulling anyway?"  I abhor favoritism and backstabbing (with a smile on his face) and discriminating bosses.  

  

Once again, loyalty and dedication mean nothing.  Moving up, getting more responsibility, and receiving better pay is all about the supervisor liking you enough and if he doesn't, your doomed to remain in a go-nowhere, dead-end gig w/lousy pay even though they have the budget to pay more. 

  

Several weeks before Christmas, I had lunch with a friend who said she would be retiring either December 2005 or January 2006 from a local big name employer.  She worked there about 30 years and was telling me that the last 15 years weren't as good as the first.  I asked her why.  She told me that moving up is all about networking and schmoozing Vs loyaly, dedication, and hard work.   

  

Early January, I sent out a bunch of resumes.  Usually I never hear but then I got a "bite."  Yaay!!  Interview time!!!  The guy said in the e-mail that he liked what he saw on my resume, and asked me for my salary requirements.  After I responded, we scheduled a mutual day/time to meet. 

  

It's interesting.  The salary range I mentioned in the e-mail was fine w/him.  But to my current supervisor, I can't even get to the bottom of that range!  

  

It just shows you that there are employers out their that place enough value on employees working for them.  I wish there was some hint at the end of the interview where I can know if he's going to consider me over other candidates.  He did say to e-mail him if I have any questions.   

  

Shortly after I responded to the ad he posted on such and such website, he contacted me.  So it appears the search for a new candidate has recently begun.  I wish I had asked in the interview:  How long have you been looking to fill this position?  I got that advice from my brother.  I did ask other questions that I thought were good.  He said he's interviewing for two more weeks.  Is this a normal response or if he liked me wouldn't he get back to me right away or within a couple of days?  Plz anyone, shed some light on this mystery of interviewing. 

  

Should I handwrite, type, or e-mail my thank you note?  Have done all of them in the past but wondering which one is better. 

  

I have hardly a life because I'm spending my evenings exhausted from job hunting.  It is so true that looking for a job is a full-time job.  So it's like I have two full-time jobs.  If only I were well-connected...(sigh) 

  

The last girl who left got more respect from our supervisor but he did something that peeved her and she decided that it's time to go.  About two weeks after that she started a new job.  Now how did she find that quickly?  Because she has good connections.  I only wish I did. (sigh) 

  

I can't even enjoy a good book when I get home from work because my mind is preoccupied with this whole thing. 

  

On top of that, I assist an anal, critical, nit-picking, manipulative, and sometimes verbally abusive publicist.  That is PART 2 for another time.  Oh, is she a bag of hot & cold air and false promises.  Briefly I'd like to say that I offered my writing services and now she can't afford to pay me until she gets one or two new accounts!  I ran several errands for her after work last year and she's like, "Thank you!  Thank you!  I'll never forget this (x2)!  You're the best!  I'm going to buy you an outfit.  Blah blah blah."  It's not so much that I need the outfit, but she never did buy it for me after all I did for her!  As talented as she is, she has family problems and she takes it out on me.   It's been off and on since we met.  She claims to be in the image and tact biz but hasn't been tactful with me on many occasions!  Not everyone has a photographic memory like her.  She asked me what the guy said at the end of the interview and I was nervous, went blank and casually said, "I don't remember."  And she had a problem w/that.  Responding with a snotty, "you mean you don't remember?"  It's hard to put on paper here but she is just flatout strange.  The only reason I stay in touch and help her is because she's a good contact to have (in the industry she works in.)  Also, I can get press release clips.  She says I'm a killer writer and I know she means it!  It's not everyday I meet publicists who are willing to take a chance on me!  She used to live down my hall and that's how we met.  First friends, then I volunteered my services to help her in her PR biz (sort of like an apprenticeship), then I started freelancing.  From the beginning of our friendship/work relationship, she sensed I was hungry to do writing.  And she has been moody from the beginning.  Guess that comes along with the terriorty of running a small, one-woman show. 

  

Before that turns into a book...more later for another time.