Topic : 10/17 Sexual Predators?

The laws concerning the sexual predators in this country are completely outlandish.  I was a mandated reporter here in California as a teacher and I took that responsibility seriously.  I had one female student whose father had been molesting her since she was 2 years old.  Her Mother caught him and turned him in but our wonderful justice system said that the child was too young to testify so he was turned loose.  Three years later, she was in my Kindergarten class and completely fell apart when some of the boys brought some snails in from the playground.  Found out later that her father put snails on parts of her body where snails do not go on their own.  The child told me her story and I had her tell my Aide the story to be sure I heard correctly, and filed the report with Children Services.  The first result was that the mother lost custody of her and her older brother, which should not have happened because she believed her ex-husband when he said that the abuse would never happen again.  I testified at his trial and took a day off to give support to the family, when he was sentenced.  I was surprised that all the time he received was 6 years.  I have been subpoenaed two more times to testify against him and each time he made a plea bargain instead of trial.  He is now in prison for the rest of his life as a third striker--three arrests for child abuse.  The Mother received her children back after the Father went to prison, still claiming his innocence.  My anger comes from the fact that this child was not protected by the justice system when she was 2 and until she was 5 her father was free to continue to abuse her with the blessings of the system that should have been protecting her.  There are at least 2 other girls out there that this man abused and he was a mean, angry man so their experience with him was most likely horrrible.

I am concerned about the young child that was found to be the victim of Mr. Stiles.  I have heard many people, including her mother and doctors, saying that she has no memory of the "horror" and is fine. 

I am a stepmother of 2 boys that were abused at an early age by their mother's husband and stepson, in another state.  The ages of my 2 stepsons were 3 and 6.  For years there was no indication of the abuse; however, the youngest appeared to have a hearing problem and was taken to the doctor.  To make a long story short -there was no hearing problem, but a dissociative disorder!  My stepson had dissociated during the abuse and another part of his brain took over and created another personality to handle the abuse.  That was the beginning of a host of many problems.

I hope that someone will be persistent and really take a long look at the poor, innocent girl and be assured there are no real "underlying" problems.

That is a tough call... maybe some of you are right that the child was drugged and that is why she doesn't remember ... which would also explain why there would not be any physical signs because if she was drugged then that would reduce the chance of any 'trauma' to her genitalia. And then again.. not to make light of the situation but maybe the guy didn't have much to work with... again.. I'm not trying to be funny.  I have not read any articles as to whether there was signs of physical truama.. are there any reports on that?  And then it's been said that the Mother was working three jobs?..I used to work two jobs and I can't imagine when she would even have time to even bathe her child with three jobs..I just hope to God that she didn't know.... that would be unforgivable!!

On a positive note, Dr. Phil, you are the kindest, most compassionate person to victims and to their families.  I wish there were more of you, particularly in the District Attorney's  Office in Queens, New York!

To Mr. Donoghue, you are an admirable man, stepping up to guide the victim's mother through the maze,and the long road ahead. 

I am, by no means a professional, but in my own opinion, this will be an easy conviction.  Styles has a background that does not speak well to character..a.plus for the prosecution.  A video tape?  Should it be proven to be bona fide, there is a pretty solid piece of evidence.  If this guy walks, or is allowed to plead out, there is no justice...he should go away for life...period!

7 years ago, my son, 10 at that time, told me of an act that made me change forever.  My older daughter, born 17years before him, had been with a wonderful young man for over 5 years...they dated, became engaged and were married.  My husband and I were nothing BUT supportive of this relationship...paid for the wedding, assumed their first year's rent, did everything to give them a good start.  My daughter was a teacher, lived at home until the day of the wedding, no drugs, no drinking...a really good girl.  He was a college graduate with a good position in health, clean, no record, also, drug free.  He did not drink, nor was he ever rude or demeaning to anyone. He came from a lovely family, and his older brother was a frequent guest in our home...his mother and I were becoming friends, happily looking forward to extending and sharing our families.  Nine months after this storybook wedding, what did my son tell me?  He spoke of the years of  my then son-in-law playing this game with him...he put his penis into his mouth and ejaculated...in my home...in my family room with me, my two daughters, and even holiday guests present..on the premesis...Very often, my husband was also home from work, or making our Sunday bar-b-que, as I prepared other dishes in the kitchen...can any 10 year old boy describe the taste, texture and temperature of sperm, had he not experienced it first hand?  I brought him to a therapist, who gave his professional opinion....he was certain it happened, but he also wanted to speak to my younger daughter, as she was also much younger, and he was concerned.  At 12, my litttle girl could describe the same thing...he was doing it to both of them, but never together...so one could not be witness for the other.  There was a statute of limitations, which did make a good bit of her experience unfit for prosecution...the limit in 2000, in New York was 5 years. 

I had him arrested...he WAS indicted, but never saw a Grand Jury.  He met bail, with his hot shot top gun criminal defense attorney, and then MY FAMILY was put on trial.  The D.A. told me that the fact  of my older daughter standing by him was against us, as she was a teacher, very intelligent, and if she spoke ill of the family (which she did after being told of the accusations), she'd most likely be credible!  HELLO....my daughter, I raised her...so doesn't that speak to my credibility?  No, not really, as she was an adult.  If that makes ANY sense, please tell me how.  What motive would these two children have to lie, and how could both be so accurate about THAT, given there ages?  We had home visits from Childrens' Services, who did NOTHING but cause more stress.  Not one member of our family was asked to give depositions to the D.A. stating the times that he was here, and yes, he did spend time with the children when my husband and I were busy...but the D.A. did speak to HIS mother and Brother to get a read on THEM!!!  My family, well I suppose a retired homicide detective with three children of his own has dubious character...she never asked to speak to him, my brother-in-law.  A professor at a top University...guess there's a lot lacking there also, as my sister-in-law was never approached, either.  My cousin who was a frequent guest, during my son-in-law's visits, well, who'd think to speak to another low life from our side, a police lieutenant with a son also on the force as a P.B.A. delegate.  Me, I was a lunetic...why? Because my daughter said so.  My husband, he's a whimp...the man is the owner operator of a very successful local business...over 20 years in the same location...but he's no good either...why?  my daughter said so!  The therapist, his word meant nothing! 

Since my son-in-law had no record, he looked clean, his wife stood by him...they treated him as if he were a saint...I have no record, nor does my husband or any other member of our family.  But, it looks bad when a sister goes against her siblings, especially when she is a teacher....and it looks worse if she speaks against her mother, for the same reason...but who the hell did they think brought her up, made sure she had a good education...the whimp and the lunetic...her father and mother, who were married to each other when all of the children were born...but we didn't have enough character?????  Well, I could have coached the children to break up the marriage, or they could have lied to get attention...these kids were top ranked in class, never a behavior problem...and evaluated by a professional....fully co-operative, but very shaken, very emotional, and crushed that their sister did not believe them.  Glad to hear some compassion for the victim on the Dr. Phil show....I would have expected more from a D.A.  She tried to plea him out, but he held tough, she held the case for 6 grueling months and at that time, had to dismiss.  There was an investigation....what kind, I can't say.  They spoke to me, my husband, my children, their therapist and their  doctor.  None of our family, just his....and this is fair because.....?  I know it was a he said/she said, very circumstantial...but even my cleaning lady, who saw how often he was here was never spoken to...was she a lunetic also?  I'm more than enraged although it is 7 years later...no communication with my daughter...only learned through a mutual associate that she has 2 children with him...how nice!  Feed the demons inside him.  Today's show really got to me...how wonderful the law enforcement behaved, how supportive they were...and how they want to convict!  We had two complaining witnesses, and we didn't even get to a Grand Jury....my husband and I were so numb, we just figured at that time, we had a weak case.  I've since seen weaker get to a Grand Jury...maybe they wanted to save him money, as he had a very pricy lawyer...surprised they didn't expect us to pay for him, too.  Believe me, had he been a prosecutor, I'd have been willing to pay him to lock this s.o.b. up, but our D.A., a 30 year old with little experience...if they paid her NOTHING, it's too much!

Our county ought to be ashamed, and with much more of this coming out, downright embarassed that their office was so negligent.  I would bet my life, had there been a Grand Jury, he would have pled out...because , put my children on the witness stand...plus their therapist...I'll  have staken my money on a jury, but we weren't given the chance.  In a society that preaches to "always believe the children".....condemns parents (especially mothers) who sweep it under the rug, or just don't report....where was there even an ATTEMPT at justice?  And why were the prosecutors not even able to hold a candle to those fine men I saw today?   We did do the right thing...I admire all in that case with this creep Styles for their professional dedication.  I am ashamed of my county, feel my children were exploited, and am livid that my good job of raising a successful daughter worked against me.  Maybe if I had been a thrice married hooker, or better yet, unwed altogether...had she been a high school drop out, well, maybe then we would have had a shot at justice.  I don't want an ovation for doing the right thing, but I'm Pissed as hell that in doing so, it worked against me.....more so against my children...and I don't think it helped my grandchildren either.  Maybe I'll get lucky..if Styles didn't harm HIS son, then maybe my son-in-law won't either.  I have never been this angry during the entire time, but seeing real life, quality law enforcement after what we had...it's just a disgrace....always believe the children, report, tell, ...just don't live in Queens County, New York....or don't be married, and don't send your kids to college...you'll have a better chance.  My daughter's success worked against me, yet were she to have been less, that too would have been the MOTHER's fault?  Forgive this rant, but it is the truth, and the show today just made me more aware of how bad this really was.