Topic : 10/17 Sexual Predators?

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Created on : Tuesday, October 16, 2007, 03:42:12 pm
Author : DrPhilBoard1
You've read the headlines, now watch the story about a crime so heinous some would rather see the suspect dead than in jail. The manhunt for the nation's most wanted alleged pedophile ended last night as fugitive Chester Stiles, accused in the videotaped molestation of a three-year-old girl, was arrested outside Las Vegas. Stiles had been wanted since October 5 on warrants issued for 21 felony charges in connection with acts seen on the videotape. Could you spot a child predator? Is your family at risk? Be there when Dr. Phil tells you the warning signs to watch for -- you'll be shocked! Plus, the reported victim's mother breaks her silence in an exclusive interview with Dr. Phil. Then, hear what Stiles' ex-girlfriend's son has to say, and what the victim remembers about the attack. If it's happening now, Dr. Phil is going to deal with it now! Don't miss this breaking news Dr. Phil Now. Join the discussion.

To find registered sex offenders in your area, visit familywatchdog.us.

Find out what happened on the show.


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October 19, 2007, 4:18 pm PDT

what is wrong with you

Quote From: mitzisweets

I can't understand why the mother in this story did not notice anything when her 3 year old was raped. Either it was not a true rape but only made to look like it on the videotape, or the mother did notice and was afraid to say anything at the time. Shame on her if that is true!

 

We have to try to protect the innocent and guys like the one in this story should definitely be taken out of circulation for ever. No leniency here, because he will do it again when he gets out of jail.

It is costly to keep people in jail but there would be a lot more space for serious and dangerous criminals if they didn't incarcerate people for things like smoking dope or possession. Fine them yes, but keep them out of jail.

 

Mitzisweets

 

 It can and does happen that men get away with this. They threaten and hide, I did not know whan it happened to my daughter or I would have killed him. It has been 4 years since I found out and I live in hell everyday. You must think I deserve it because I did not know.
 
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October 19, 2007, 4:53 pm PDT

Change the laws!

 Castration, castration, castration..........and whatever else it takes to rid these monsters of any desires.  A labotomy would be appropriate!

 
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October 19, 2007, 6:21 pm PDT

???

Quote From: tracysimpson

 Castration, castration, castration..........and whatever else it takes to rid these monsters of any desires.  A labotomy would be appropriate!

 How do you castrate a woman? Doesn't a person that falsely accuses deserve the same treatment? After all, they cause just as much or more emotional damage, cause long lasting mental problems, and involve more individuals. The only thing missing is the psychical damage. Which is worse?
 
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October 19, 2007, 9:16 pm PDT

I hope he rots

I was an abused child, not by my parents. After a long time I realized it wasn't my parents fault .

They believed like I did ,I could trust this person.  Later on we all found out we couldn't.  I'm 44 now, we can try to tell our children how and do what we can to our best abilitiy to ensure their safety, but sometimes bad things happen to good people!  Hindsight is always 20/20!  But the real world you have very few chances to be right all the time.  We all need to do the best we can and own up to when we are not.

 
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October 19, 2007, 9:29 pm PDT

We all need to learn

Some statistics say that if you were abused then you will abuse.  I am a survior, not a victim of sexual abuse.  I have never done anything like what happened to me nor will I.  I was a single mother of 3 boys, now adults , my greatest fear was I couldn't be with them 24/7.  But I also taught them things my parents didn't know how to teach me.  But  I also didn't let my boys know why I had the fears for them that I did.  What happened to me I hope and pray no child should ever go through, but as a parent I could not tell my boys what happened to me either.  They needed to have a life, as a parent I needed to make them safe.  Thank God I did!!!!
 
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October 20, 2007, 10:33 am PDT

MISS AMERICA BY DAY - CHILDHOOD SEXUAL ABUSE

Marilyn Van Derbur, a native of Colorado, is one of four daughters of a prominent Denver businessman who is now deceased. Her father was on numerous boards and committees, was honored with buildings named for him, and was president of "all the college fraternities in America." Both parents were active volunteers, donating time and money to culture and civic organizations.

 

Marilyn's earliest memories of her father are of him entering her bed after dark. What came next was repressed for decades until Marilyn realized that her father had committed incest from the time she was five until eighteen, an estimated six hundred times.  All the while, her mother knew. Marilyn tells about her split between the "night child" victim in contrast to the "day child" over-achiever.  Anyone reading her story might experience envy for all the fame and fortune that seemed to come to her so easily and effortlessly.

 

 

Miss America By Day: Lessons Learned from Ultimate Betrayals and Unconditional Love by Marilyn Van Derbur

 

Healing Anxiety and Depression (7 types of anxiety and depression) by Daniel Amen and Lisa Routh OR Getting Help:  The Complete and Authoritative Guide to Self-Assessment and Treatment of Mental Health Problems by Jeffrey Wood

 

How to Journal for Therapy:

http://arar.essortment.com/therapyjournali_repu.htm

 

 

Marilyn's mother would often state that she had the "perfect marriage" and Marilyn was told that she was "blessed by being born into a perfect family." Marilyn was crowned Miss America while she was attending the University of Colorado in 1958. 

 

Marilyn suffered from physical symptoms including insomnia, tics, anxiety, and panic attacks. When her body and mind rebelled against the constant travel, she experienced full body paralysis, yet doctors found no organic cause. What else might Marilyn be rebelling against? To find the answers she had to search her mind and spirit.  The physical symptoms she had endured were a manifestation of the connection between child sexual abuse and adult ailments. 

 

 

Hope it helps!

 

 
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October 20, 2007, 11:03 am PDT

WHY REPORT CHILD SEXUAL ABUSE W/IN 72 HOURS

Probably one of the most disturbing facts about child sexual abuse and incest, is that in 80% of reported cases, the mother of the victim was aware of the sexual abuse inflicted on the child, yet did little or nothing about it.  Just how responsible is a parent for failing to report or stop the sexual abuse of a child or family member? 

 

If the sexual assault has occurred within 72 hours of a physical examination, forensic evidence collection should be conducted.  A complete physical examination, including careful documentation of any lacerations (a torn or jagged wounds), ecchymoses (skin discoloration caused by the escape of blood into the tissues from ruptured blood vessels) or petechiae (pinpoint size flat round red dots under the skin surface caused from hemorrage - bleeding into the skin), is critical. Physical examination of the oral cavity includes inspection of the hard and soft palate for bruising or petechiae, and inspection of the frenulum (the membrane that attaches the tongue to the floor of the mouth) for any lacerations that can result from forced oral penetration. 

 

Rape evidence collection kits are available in the emergency department of most hospitals. Evaluation of acute sexual assault may be conducted in an emergency department setting or, if available, at a children's advocacy center. In nonacute cases, the office of the family physician has the benefit of being a familiar location for the patient.  The physician should maintain a gentle and calm demeanor and be considerate of the apprehensive child. It is helpful to explain the examination beforehand to the patient and caretaker.

 

Medical problems include anogential (anal) trauma, bleeding, irritation or discharge, dysuria (painful or difficult urination), frequent urinary tract infections, encopresis (repeated passing of feces into places other than the toilet), enuresis (repeated passing of urine into places other than the toilet), pregnancy, diagnosis of a sexually transmitted disease (STD) and oral trauma

 

Children may present with somatic (muscles and nerves) complaints such as recurrent agdominal pain or frequent headaches resulting from the psychologic stress.  Sexual acting-out behavior is the most specific indicator of possible sexual abuse.

 

Child sexual abuse generally refers to sexual acts, sexually motivated behaviors, or sexual exploitation involving children. Child sexual abuse includes a wide range of behaviors, such as: 

  • Oral, anal, or genital penile penetration
  • Anal or genital digital or other penetration
  • Genital contact with no intrusion
  • Fondling of a child's breasts or buttocks
  • Indecent exposure
  • Inadequate or inappropriate supervision of a child's voluntary sexual activities
  • Use of a child in prostitution, pornography, Internet crimes, or other sexually exploitative activities

Sexual abuse includes both touching offenses (fondling or sexual intercourse) and nontouching offenses (exposing a child to pornographic materials) and can involve varying degrees of violence and emotional trauma.  

 

The most commonly reported cases involve incest, or sexual abuse occurring among family members, including those in biological families, adoptive families, and stepfamilies. Incest most often occurs within a father-daughter relationship.  

 

Mother-son, father-son, and sibling-sibling incest also occurs. Sexual abuse is also sometimes committed by other relatives or caretakers.  In fifty percent of reported child sexual abuse within families the perpetrator was an older sibling.

 

Consider the possibility of sexual abuse when the child: 

  • Has difficulty walking or sitting
  • Suddenly refuses to change for gym or to participate in physical activities
  • Reports nightmares or bedwetting
  • Experiences a sudden change in appetite
  • Demonstrates bizarre, sophisticated, or unusual sexual knowledge or behavior
  • Becomes pregnant or contracts a venereal disease, particularly if under age 14
  • Runs away
  • Reports sexual abuse by a parent or another adult caregiver

Consider the possibility of sexual abuse when the parent or other adult caregiver: 

  • Is unduly protective of the child or severely limits the child's contact with other children, especially of the opposite sex
  • Is secretive and isolated
  • Is jealous or controlling with family members 

The presence of a single sign does not prove child abuse is occurring in a family; however, when these signs appear repeatedly or in combination you should take a closer look at the situation and consider the possibility of child sexual abuse. 

 

 

CHILD SEXUAL ABUSE - DEFINED

 

Child sexual abuse (1 in 3 girls and 1 in 7 boys) occurs among all groups of the population. It happens to children in both rural and urban areas and in all socioeconomic and educational levels, and across all racial and cultural groups.

There is no rule governing the age range between a victim and a perpetrator. Generally, children are sexually abused by adults who are related to them or known by them or their families.

Sexual abuse is forced, tricked, or coerced sexual behavior between a young person and an older person.

Child sexual abuse may consist of any one of the following acts:

1. Nudity 2. Disrobing 3. Genital exposure 4. Inappropriate kissing or fondling 6. Masturbation 7. Oral-genital contact 8. Child pornography 9. Digital penetration 10. Vaginal or anal intercourse

Acquaintance perpetrators are the most common abusers, constituting approximately 70-90% of all reported perpetrators. In sexual abuse cases committed against females, approximately one third to one-half of all perpetrators were related to the victim. Only about one-tenth of the abusers were related to their male victims. 

 

 

Hope it helps!

 

 

 

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October 20, 2007, 11:20 am PDT

my children were abused

My childeren were sexually abused by an uncle, my husbands brother.  He wasn't ever on the radar for potential abuse because he is a paraplegic.  But guess what?  They are even more frustrated by their lack of physical closeness to someone but he did have use of his hands and his mouth.  He told the kids what he expected them to do.  If finally came out when one of the younger cousins reported him.  He served time and now resides in a nursing home. Our kids were under the age of 5 and I don't even know the full extent of what happened.  My daughter said that she would never tell me and she died tragically in a car crash 4 years ago.  Her brother started to tell me some of the things he went through but I had to make him stop because it was making me sick.  donna c from wisconsin.

 

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October 20, 2007, 11:22 am PDT

10/17 Sexual Predators?

Quote From: lnjlm4

 It can and does happen that men get away with this. They threaten and hide, I did not know whan it happened to my daughter or I would have killed him. It has been 4 years since I found out and I live in hell everyday. You must think I deserve it because I did not know.
My daughter was also abused at a young age and we never knew.  And I'm a RN.  So get off your high hourse and have some empathy for those of us who have suffered through this nightmare.  We don't need your judgements.  donna c from wis.
 
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October 20, 2007, 4:40 pm PDT

What about the mother?!

Dr. Phil I watched your show on Chester Stiles being caught. I wonder why nobody is putting any pressure on the mother. Even you Dr. Phil, when you talked to her on the phone I believe you were way too nice to her. I mean come on the child was three years old, Raped, and who knows what else. You know this three year old child had to have shown signs of being raped. At this age the mother still bathes the child. The child must have bleed or hurt down there! How in the world is anybody going to believe she never knew! She must be the worst mother not to have seen something so obvious like that.
 

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