Topic : 10/17 Sexual Predators?

This topic is a very sore subject for me as my daughter was molested  last year by my stepfather of 20 years. I would have never suspected him in a million years. But now, knowing what I know, there were many red flags that I should have seen many many years ago.

 

He is now serving 6 months in county jail for victim tampering and is on 5 years probation for the sexual acts. Now isn't that messed up? When is this country gonna start punishing the perpatrator and not the victim. My mom is still staying with him as she believes this is a mistake. NOT !! and my sister and his (the pertpatrator's) whole family is standing behind him....we are the ones being ostracized from the family at holidays and from their lives. Why the victims get punished, I'll never know.

 

so, I have no compassion for any sexual predators. Period !!

 

 

I am a survivor and trust me, you and your sister are not alone.

 

We live in evil times and must be strong in "faih."   Don't concern yourselves over family, come judgement day, they will have some tall talking to do.

 

Forgiveness is the only way for you two.  I am caring for my mother (who is bedridden) and she knew what my dad was doing and did NOTHING to help me.  Do what you have to and please our Lord and Savior before anyone else

 

God be with you both

I agree - the sytem is really messed up. We have gone way too far in this area of who is a real sexual predator and consenting sex partners.  I can't remember the state, but there is one changing the law that if there is an age difference no greater than 5 years ( I think) when both kids are under 18,  and both are consenting, then it is not rape. When I was 17 I started an affair with a 24 year old man that went on for 1 1/2 years. He worked swing so we rarely did more than have sex.  Yes, he used me but in a way I used him too. Having been sexually abused by males since the age of 2 or 3, the sex was finally making me feel good about myself even if it was unhealthy. I am now 55 and to this day, the thought he could have been prosecuted for rape is something I would never want done.

So yes, our jusdicial system needs to be changed so only true sexual predators have to register and labeled that for the rest of their lives. As wrong as it is, kids that consent to sexual activity should not be prosecuted. And, I have never understood the thinking that girls are mature enough to consent to an abortion - a serious medical procedure and murder to many - but are not mature enough to consent to sex.

Hi I am a grad student in Social Work. This topic came on T.V  after I had chosen to study sex-offender and pedophiles as a topic for my social justice course. I find that although the thought of someone touching, or sexually abusing any child (oh and if it were mine i would kill them) is hard to handle and sometimes we can't understand, but it is nine times out of ten a vicious cycle that is hard to break. Most sexual predators were abused themselves and have only done what they have been taught is ok. I by no means condone or even like to think about this behavior, however researching and reading laws that pertain to this population of individuals, it is hard for them in the prison system, when they get released, and their families disown them. To understand their actions is to understand them. I particularly could not work with anyone who has sexually or physically abused anyone, but the profession I have chosen will one day present them to me, and as a Social Worker my job it to promote the well-being of all human beings and advocate on behalf of them.

 

Talk about hard

 

just something to think about, if we could we would burn them, so are our actions any better than theirs????

    Hi my name is patricia. .My father sexually abused myself,sisters,and other young girls.We ended up pressing charges in 1993 and he got an 18 year prison term(he is now out on parole). I

Hear what you are saying about people abusing who have been abused.But I wanted you to know that neither  I or my  3 sisters have ever abused any of our children and neither have any of the other victim.I believe we are ALL given CHOICES.My father made the CHOICE to abuse.

patricia

hello....i read what you wrote, and i disagree with you when you say that you are a bad person for not noticing anything about your daughter!!! it is not always a visible thing that you can see!! my daughter was also molested by her father at the age of 4,  and i had no idea, and she gave me no reason to think that this was even happening!!please never, never think that you deserve anything for what happened!! i had no clue, and i mean none!!i do not believe i deserve any kind of bad mouthing, or saying that i deserve anything for not knowing!! you did nothing wrong, so please don't feel the way you do about yourself!! yes, i'm sure that in come cases, there would be blood or other signs, but like you, there  were no signs of this going on!! the only one that deserves to be punished is her molester. the biggest thing i don't understand is, he also did this before and he was only given a little time in jail!! when he got back out, he did it again, to his step daughter, did a little time, got back out and did it again!!! so finally he was put  away for a long time and is still in prison1!! why did it have to happen a couple more times, before our system finally did,what they should of done in the first place!! i also do not believe that everyone who has been molested, will do it themselves!! yes some of them do, but not all! my daughter would never of have done something like that, infact, she became more protective than anything else!! it wasn't till after her death, the step father of my 2nd oldest gr/daughter, molested  her for 2 yrs. after her death, and the only one who is to blame for this happening was csb!! i did everything in my power to let them know, that i tought that there was a great possiblitliy of this happeneing!! did they do anything to stop this from happening?, hell no! that poor little girl from the age of 13 was molested for 2 yrs, and no one would listen to me! today, he is in prison too, and check this out, csb, even though he was in prison, still gave him say on where these kids went while he was in prison!! they , all 4 of them were put in a foster home, and the foster mother, doesn't think any of these little kids need counseling, so they don't get it!! i am the only family they have left, and they are still allowing that foster mom to keep them from me, and because she really only wants the money they give her for taking these kids in, behind my back, without placeing them with me, none of them are getting the help they need, because she doens't believe in counseling!! i have gotten in touch with the director of csb, and it's been a week now and even he hasn't gotten back with me on these issues!!if you watched the show of dr. phil's about kids that have anger issues, because the bond of the parents was broken, that is what has aahppen to my gr/kids!! i am the only biological family that wants to be involed in the kids life, and csb did not even call me when the kids needd a place to be placed, once he went to prison!!!my biggest fear is watching the news and finding out my poor little grandsone wo is only 13, who wants to quit school already, because the son of the foster parents has quit school and he's only 17 !!  csb will not listen to my pleas and my concern that that is where he is learning to have this attitude!! you talk about the system needing to change? well i hear to tell you that i agree with everyone who agrees with that too!!it's sad that that poor little boy had to hurt someone, before they got him the help he needed!!my grandson is in the same position. he feels deserted, and abandoned, and he doesn't even know that i have always wanted to take care of him all along!!csb will not let them talk to me, or even let me take them to someone who can help all of them!! what are they waiting for? i only hope, it's not going to happen to my grandson!! he's a good little boy, who lost his mom, and then he had to find out his dad, molested his sister!! he needs me, and iknkow you would agree!! just keep talking to your daughter, form a bond and by doing that, she has  the best chance of being ok, in the future!! none of this was your fault!! so don't go blaming yourself!!you did nothing!! my prayers are with you and your daughter, and i think she will be ok, as long as she has you,. you sound like a wonderful mother to me!! God bless you and your daughter!!  thank you debbie

A 2 year old c an not hide trauma. I AM going there; she SHOULD have known; what she did was neglect that child!!!

Chester Stiles: I have heard several comments from the mother of the 2 1/2 girl who he molested and police that the mother didn't know anything happened to her little girl, there were no signs!!  How can that be, if he did to that little girl what everyone who saw the video tape says he did and she was only 2 1/2 how could she NOT be brusied, bleeding, sore, tore and hurting?!  And complaing about it or at least when she had to go to the bathroom or take a bath.  How could a mother not see that??  Do you know anything about this?  If the mother did say she never knew, never saw anything shouldn't someone find out why she didn't!!