Topic : 10/22 Exes at War

WHAT SHOW WAS YOU WATCHING!!!!!!!

 

Watch the show. She cheated on him during the marriage. He never had as mistress. Try watching the show with the sound on next time. Also it's not whats on the outside that matters. Mentioning someones weight is very LOW, before you know the circumstance is a little petty don't you think.

Hmmm.. like most people who like to observe and take in the information that most people tend to ignore, I did notice that the couples looked a like but somehow didn't seem to be with the right spouse. I think Keri and her ex still want to be in some sort of relationship, as long as there's an "open door" to keep a wierd connection. And I think the ex-husband really hasn't stopped loving Keri and avoiding the issue of "mending" anything, the only reason why he's still in that "wierd relationship" is because of their child(ren).
Bad reason. Speaking of children, why and where is this child able to say their part so that these two can stop ruining her future. One day she has to be in a relationship herself and the parents aren't helping... It's sad to see that the focal point that these two "so-called" adults are arguing really about money and not the stability of their child that they both made out of "love". hmmm.. whereas the other two who looks like em.. are doing nothing except play their part and not even have an inkling of the child's welfare.. It's sad to see.. makes you wonder why the generation of kids nowadays are becoming immune to this behavior.. Keri should get on with life, it's too short as it is, her ex should be a man and show his daughter what a man should do and that is take care of his family, even if it's her ex too. Although, Keri should stop wishing on a well and make do with what she has, because there are less fortunate people in the world who would love to be in her place right now. (Remember, the daughter is living with the mother). Easier said than done. But I'm just an observer and you know, I think their daughter would turn out to be just fine, if they learn to get along, maybe even a better person. who know's?

Keri:  I tried to give you the benefit of the doubt.  But the moment you called out the ex-wife on her position with the company she works at you lost all my respect.  In one breath you are saying "you aren't jealious." in the next you belittle her employment??!!   At least this women has a job...regardless of what it is....she is working.  Your attempt to make this his new wife look bad turned out the same as the balance due on child support: ZERO.  Girl...you are a loss cause; you are in no way in the appropriate mind-set to be the "go-to" person for your children.

 

Just be happy your ex-husband has moved on; heck you claim to be happy with your new man....set an example for you kids; one that involves taking the high road and supporting them with their relationship with your exe's wife.  If this is impossible....just shut up.

 Keri makes me absolutely sick!!! She IS JEALOUS, I know for a fact that SHE IS THE ONE making her kids sick. Want to know why? She is just like my mother was. When my dad left us, I was in my teens. She did nothing but bad mouth him to the point where she wanted us to choose sides. Both of my parents had many faults, even though I love them both, I thought both of them were idiots so I was NOT going to choose sides. Unfortunately I was the only one out of all of us kids that stood up and said that I wanted BOTH MOTHER AND FATHER. My brothers chose her side. All of their fighting made me to horrible things to myself as a kid because I was in such turmoil and I sometimes wished I wasn't born because I thought that maybe my parents would have had a happier life. To this day, I am in my 40's, even though my dad has since passed away, I can never talk to them about memories, or anything nice about him because they just slam me once again. That whole family had better stop, they ARE DANGEROULY RUINING THE KIDS!! I take care of myself now, but when I was young, I had self hatred and I turned all of my hurt onto myself. It totally ruined my whole life!!!  Their kids WILL DO THE SAME! I was made to feel guilty about loving both parents, I could never win. Keri is SICK SICK SICK AND SELFISH!! I say put the kids in foster care, it's better than hearing this crap!

I recently watched this show and although I agree that all 4 of the adults need to make the children their # 1 focus, I do believe that the mom is a jealous, ex wife.  I could feel the father's frustration at the situation and I really believe that his ex wife is doing her best to sabatoge his relationship with his children, while not realizing, it's HER children that she's ultimately hurting and damaging.  She's bitter and clearly not over him, especially when she voiced,"he doesn't need me anymore".  Well duh, you're divorced!  Move on and focus on your children and stop bad mouthing their father!  And what's the deal with her being on welfare?  Isn't against the law to be collecting from the government when you're living with someone who is working and helping you support  your children?  Also, Dr. Phil  had it ON PAPER from the child support office saying the dad was PAID UP TO DATE, yet the ex wife, continued to blabber on about him owing money when it was in black and white that he didn't.  Then she got all, oh well, then I'm not sure what's going on.  Right.  I don't mean to dog on her, as I know that alot of ex wives get a raw deal but I don't believe that's the case here.  This case is a woman who is still in love with her ex, is jealous of his success and his new wife and her only way of "getting back at him" is to try to turn his kids against him.  It will backfire in her face and her kids will pay the price!

I know where Keri is coming from.  Men hide money all the time.  I think Dr Phil should have addressed the ex's lifestyle.  Come on living in a 1 million dollar home.  Dr Phil never asked him outright to explain that. Those children are entitled to live the lifestyle of their father. Of course Keri is mad.  She should give her ex those children to raise and we'd see how long his pretty new wife would stay with him and Keri should be the good time MOM.  It's really a great solution.  I did it and it worked out great.  I was good time Mom for my son's teenage years.  I sent him back to Chicago to live with his Dad since his Dad was always right and I was wrong.  No sooner did school start for my son and my ex was calling me all the time with problems. Life is short, everybody needs to be happy and work things out.  Keri might be surprised to get her children back along with a nice big child support payment every month and a little understanding from her ex.  Raising kids is not cheap.

I just want to say, what a relief it is to know that it is not only Williams County, Ohio, where ex wives have been allowed to use their kids to feel the voids they have in their life.  When my husband and his ex divorced, the child in common was 6 months old.  Anytime he had a new girlfriend or was dating, his ex would deny visitation causing him to have to spend on average $5000 every two years for the last sixteen years.  She said the same thing Keri did, that the kid did not want to go, or that the child was upset, when infact the child was happy with her dad and his girlfriend, but it was the mother whom could not handle it, when she was the one who was unfaithful, which caused the need for divorce in the first place.  My husband did not take her back, and it has been an uphill battle ever since.  I know the father on the show came off as Immature, but honestly, one is put in a position to defend themself, because these family court institutions do nothing to those that break the existing court order.  In the nine years that I have been with my husband he has been denied visitation for five of those years, and for whatever "reasoning" the mother could grasp at.  We did end up getting custody due to the living situation she had the child in, but once the child turned 12, the mother pursued full custody, knowing that the court allowed the child to make the decision as to where they want to live.  Well as you could guess, the child was threatened to live with her mom or never see her other siblings, so of course the child's living arrangements were changed, we were denied contact, and any other information as to the child's well being.  After three years, mind you there has been no contact, no email, no phone calls, no letters no nothing, the child shows up wanting to live with us, stating that she had had enough of her mom, and we welcomed her with open arms, only for her to two months later be punching her dad in the face and demanding to leave.  Within the three years she was without us, she had flunked two years of school, been sexually promiscuous (one partner having resulted in an abortion at age 14), and become the town party girl and drunk.  Family services say there is nothing they can do because the mother provides a roof and there is food in the fridge, but yet the child has moved seven times in a year and a half and flip flopped between two schools three times.  The schools have failed the court order, stating to us that they do not want the mother to pursue a court case against them if they contact the dad, but in the court order it states he is allowed to inquire.  Obviously the two do not get along, and that is why they are divorced, in the best of both worlds, parents should be able to communicate, but when they can not, why does the family court system not enforce the court order and punish the ones whom break it...instead they allow these parents(mainly mothers) the ability to deny visitation which causes the need for court, which causes additional financial burden upon those that are paying support and for what, for the mother to be allowed to do this over and over.  Something has got to change with the way family courts work, maybe if they actually enforced the ruling, there would be less baggage, and just maybe if family court would not allow these ex's the right to harrass the other parent there would not be so many dad's just up and walking away from their kids.  Think of how hard it is for a dad to not be able to see their child, think of how hard it is for these dads have to put up with the harrassment and name calling and fight just to have their visitation, no matter how much they love their child, they will eventually walk away because the mother is only using the child to spite them and collect a paycheck.  And the dad's should not have to put up with that behavior when they are there for their kid.  If the mom's are so unstable and they feel the need to cause the problem, then maybe the court systems should not assume custody to the mother's in the first place.  Just because someone has  a uterus, does not mean they are the more suited and stable parent for that child!!!!

"Do not fool yourself, you may have a reasonable relationship w/the kids @ some point, but it will not last. The children will always be loyal to THEIR MOTHER!"

 

Depends a lot on how the mother acts, how smart the children are (and children are very, very smart), and how old the children are. Children are very smart about sour grapes.

If she smokes pot every night - marijuana is not cheap. Unfortunately, I know this from past experience.

What a mess this show was! The ex-wife was on her own agenda and had not one listening skill for her ex or for Dr. Phil's advise. She came on to say what she wanted to say, complain about how everything effects HER - and for the 2nd time came off looking petty.

 

The ex-husband then joined in the fray - and also came off looking petty because he allowed his ex to draw him into the battle of petty issues.

 

Add to these two a sleezey-looking boyfriend on the ex-wife's side of the couch who liked to spout off and the whole thing looked like a free for all! It was not fun to watch them do battle because - NO ONE WAS LISTENING to each other or to Dr. Phil. They both came and aired their same gripes they probably say to each other continually and the entire mess was just that - a mess.

 

Dr. Phil was right...it was absurb and childish on both sides.

 

I am a divorced woman myself. I had a horrible 2 years of messy divorce. I did not do well as my husband drug me through the court system - AND I came out of it all pretty much destitute while he still had his same income and his quality of life didn't change. Then I moved on. Now 10 years and 6 years of college later, I finally make a decent living. I don't like how it all panned out back then- but I came out of it all a much stronger person.  We were together for 23 years and had one child. She suffered for his cruelty back then too,  but - she told him how she felt and THEY dealt with each other. She was 15 and had a mouth and used it to explain her feelings to her dad. I was not a part of THEIR relationship.

 

Once the divorce was under way, I was not obligated to speak to him anymore - and I didn't. We went through attorneys. Our daughter was 15 at the start of this mess, old enough to deal with her own relationships with each of us.

 

These two fueding parents need to stop it. They were like a train wreak and it was sad to even watch. You ARE NOT the first two people to go through hurt and betrayal, or one spouse having more financially than the other, etc. GET OVER IT and move on! And leave the poor kids out of it all!!

 

Be thankful you don't have to deal with each other anymore. Butt out and let your kids love both of you. I can tell you from experience - the kids will get angry and hurt over what they decide to get angry and hurt over, not necessarily the same issues you two were dreaming up and getting so fired up over. I would never take my daughter's dad from her by my actions or otherwise - she's 26 now and believe me, she gets angry at him---and lets him know about it all on her own. How they make up and fix their issues is between them.  I'm not involved and haven't been since he walked out our door 10 years ago. At that point it was up to him to figure out his relationship with his daughter. If she didn't want to go somewhere with him she told him herself. Your teen daughter needs to speak up for herself and do the same without you getting involved. Your younger kids probably come under a different set of rules - but your teen can use her mouth and tell her dad how she feels-STOP interfering!!

 

Money was also an issue for me too - but you know what? I'd rather have nothing then deal with him. I made it on my own with some help from family along the way and so can you. Give up the jealousy over his money. If he pays his support, then that's all you need from him. Believe me I also know the support check covers almost nothing, but you'll make due. Divert your energy into bettering yourself and your future instead of worrying about what your ex does and doesn't do. None of it matters in the end. What matters is pulling yourself together and taking care of YOU and your children. If he wants a relationship with them - then let him figure it out without your interference. Your children will respect you more in the end for that. Believe me it's true.