Topic : Workplace Bullies

I am an admin assistant for a financial services company. My manager is considered a micro manager. She will stand next to your desk and listen to your conversations. I was talking to one of my co-workers about some work related issues when out of nowhere my manager butts into our conversation and says "You're not allowed to do that". But right after she scornes us she goes behind us and does what she just told us not to do. 

We receive these emails stating we need to be sure that we are in work and working at our desks at 8 am not arriving to work at 8 am. Of course she comes and goes as she pleases.  

She also uses company time to go shopping, out of the office, for her grandson. She will go food shopping during company hours. She goes to the store for random shopping. She spends 2 hours a day on the phone with her best friend, who happens to be the manager in our other office, talking about the staff. All this from the woman who gave me hell for receiving personal calls at work. She has the gull to talk about anyone.  

I could go on and on for ever about the stupid and crazy things we  have to put up with here. 

I was surprised to experience that working for the school district people would not understand and not care of what I was going through.  I worked for the school district for 7 years and finally lost my job due to some people that made up stories and couldn't back them up.  Here is my story.   My first year working for the district I exceeded my evaluation on performance.  According to the principals I got to work with, they seemed  very satisfied with my quality of work and the way I carried myself with the latino parents when they came into the office.  On my 5 year of working I had a grand-mal seizure at home.   Doctors said it was probably cause by stress.  All I could think of was that I had taken quite of bit infertilit y medication for the past 3 year and it had all failled.   With that seizure I had some decision to make due to the effects of the phenobarbithol medication and my liscense being revoke.   I had to put for a transfer to a closer school near where my husband teaches.  I couldn't  have been called from a better school to interview.  It was a closer school and the principal happen to be my husband former elementary school teacher.  Well to make the story shorter, the secretary started complaining about my job performance, the way I dressed, and even made sexual coments about me.  I learned this because she complained to a man that happened to my brother.  When I went to tell the principal she didn't believe me and she took out from under a big pile of papers an evaluation form that every on there said I didn't meet standards.  I didn't know what to make out of it since I had been only working there less than a month.  After that I was evaluation weekly by principal, vice principal, secretary and counselor.  I began to worry and put in for a transfer which they actually um wouldn't let me leave.  I started asking notes from my doctor to explain that what side effects phenobarbithol had and I would give them to the my principal and union (which I had been paying union dues since I had been hired).  Litttle did I know that the my union representative was my principals husbands personal secretary and he was in charge of the especial ed. department.  I think she had her back covered.  I even began having small seizure in the office and asking for help, no one would come to help.  I would somehow get up and walk to the nurses restroom and grab a pillow and lay on the floor.  I did not have any one help me.  It was humiliating.  When they saw that was happening, the principal stopped evaluating and hit me with something else.  I was being accused of having an affair and pornography.  They were sending my husband letters on district mail and home of letters they found on my e-mail.  All the letters I had on my e-mail, I had accumulated throughout the years of working and they were being sent from people that worked in the district also and about the affair they were accusing me, well, they were making that story up also.  Anyway, I finally had a meeting the principal and human resources (my husband was there and so was the union rep.) I had to either retired or they would fired me.  I Retired!  My nightmare doesn't end there.  I had car payments with my husband paycheck we were not meeting our monthly payments.  I applied for unemployment and guess what?  The district lawyers tood my in front of a unemployment judge and didn't allow me to receive a penny of what I had earned.  I was so very depressed, I couldn't lift my eyes or get out of bed.  They shattered me in everyway they could.  Six years have passed by and I haven't worked, I'm afraid to get out there.  I found out that in the workplace there could be very nice people and UGLY PEOPLE.   

You have to remember that these youngs folks are "wet behind the ears."  I am a teacher as well and I take a much different attitude with the teachers that have a lot of experience.  I speak to them often and ask for advice.   Generally, principals do not ask for help from teachers.  In my experience, it's quite the opposite most of the time.  As for running the school, have your principal show you the research on what he's trying to change.  I have noticed that my principal doesn't do her homework.  He's making a choice to not listen to his teachers/staff.  He would rather put you down than deal with the issue. 

In my district, we have a strong union that helps us with this type of issue.  That is certainly worth a try.  Also, don't sell yourself short.  If you think that you can't deal with this person, then you won't.  If you want the principal to listen, then make him listen!  You can talk with him, leave him a note, write a letter to the editor of a local newspaper etc.  New ideas are not always better ideas. 

I'm sure your lesson plans are not laminated...who would spend the time on that anyway?  We have more important things to do like grade papers!!!  Don't spend time thinking about how other people label you.  What you think of yourself is much more important. 

I have had a similiar experience with my principal.  She is up to no good most of the time.  She likes to spend time going through my personal items after school hours and she takes what she likes.  If I confront her, she always blames someone else.  I have learned...the hard way...to lock up my personal belongingings every day.  She has a way of making office referrals disappear.  If I ask about it, then she pleads ignorance.  She is completely irresponsible.  Our school calendar is a complete mess.  She is unable to set a date and keep it.  Our staff meetings are rescheduled three or four times.  If I ask about it, she blames someone else.  Interestingly, my principal has in 30 years now.   

I have learned to not take my job so seriously and to laugh off a lot of things.  I cannot change my principal, but I can change the way I respond to things that happen at work.  So can you! 

I am surprised to see how many adults have issues with being bullied especially in their work place.  

I live in a very small town and for the most part am very happy here. My husband and I work for the same employer and we have both found that we have been bullied by our superiors.  

I have endured, menacing phrases, slammed doors, scowls, silent treatments, assumtions, accusations, and been the brunt of nasty gossip. I even ducked once thinking my superior was going to hit me. My husband has endured menacing phrases about me, scowls, silent treatments, finger shaking in face with raised voice, and no raise for 3 years.  We can't just quit and find another job, as there are none here, and the money we make enables us to send our kids to college, and schooling outside this town. We both volunteer our time generously, and are part of some vital organizations here. We aren't intrusive or overbearing. We follow the chain of command. We give our jobs and our volunteer work 100 % whole heartedly. So what are we doing wrong? We have considered moving but we have invested much here and would find it hard to pack up and start fresh elsewhere. This is supposed to be the place we retire. We are finding the only bullies that affect us are our supervisors. I think that someone should be able to see that some people aren't meant to have power. Is there a test that can be used?  

I am saddened to hear how many stories there are out there,  and so many that are being untold.  

Dear John, 

As you know, I met with Brad today and left with the realization that there was no need for any further discussion after he basically fired me. I am dismayed that you did not deem this matter important enough to be there to address it with me in person. After all the offers of help from you and everyone else, it is unconscionable that you two would kick me when I am down; particularly after what you guys did for Chris when it was made clear to everyone that he is an alcoholic. I have always managed your flight department with the utmost professionalism, attending to every detail, staying on top of everything; from maintenance to insurance, and anything else in between.  I kept and reported accurate, detailed records of everything related to your aircraft. Now, to be relieved of my position with no explanation other than “It’s time we part ways” is unacceptable. 

My wife and I have done everything in our power to keep yours and Brad’s company names out of the spotlight.  I think it is a disgrace to penalize me and Diane for something that we are not responsible for. We do not condone what Andrew has done, and he will be punished accordingly by those in authority. He will pay the price for his foolishness and hopefully come out of this experience a better man for it. However, I have done nothing to warrant dismissal, and I am not resigning, so if you and Brad want to terminate me, then do so in writing outlining the terms. 

I suppose it is for the best, seeing how you evidently have a double standard; case in point… your return trip from Costa Rica a few months ago. You put Andrew and me in an extremely compromising position hiding smuggled goods on board that airplane and then forcing us to lie about it to the authorities. You did this with full knowledge that it was in violation of federal law. As uncomfortable as I was with the situation, what was I suppose to do? I even told Angela how I felt about it because she asked me what was wrong. In my entire professional career I have never been put in such an awkward set of circumstances, and quite frankly I didn’t know what to do. 

What I do know is this: Diane and I will weather this storm together just as we have with every other loss we have had to endure. At least we know that we can count on each other, even when there seems to be no one else. If you have not read the little book you sent to us, now would be a good time to do so.  

Scott 

John, 

I have also contributed to this letter and voiced my own sentiments. There are no words that accurately define how I feel at the moment, but this letter sums it up as best as we can communicate at the moment. I feel betrayed in the worst way. 

Diane 

It won't be the easiest Thanksgiving at the Wolcott home in Buford. But it won't be the hardest, either.

Six weeks after he was arrested for allegedly stealing a $7 million jet and taking it on a joy ride, 22-year-old Daniel Wolcott is still in the Gwinnett jail.