Topic : Workplace Bullies

 Hi I too work in the health care sector. I have two nurses now that are nice to my face and then tallk, gossip behind my back. They have run to management recently about something, instead of just saying no they couldn't see that patient. My problem is I thought they were nice ladies!!!I trust and like everyone. Now I can't trust anyone. What a sad society we have become. I treat everyone nice.I can't anymore.How do I deal with people like that? I have to work with them, we are on the same team.

Is there any proof at all that you WERE involved in the deal?  Because if there isn't, except for this "ex-friend's" word, even the word of the "boss", then I'd suggest you counter with the same. As long as there isn't proof, in writing, that you were personally responsible in any way for what the lawsuit is claiming, then it goes both ways. 

 

I'd just write off this person as a friend, too - I know it hurts, having been through something similar to that myself, but this person obviously has no regard for you, and clearly, is not worthy of your friendship.  If I were you, I'd tell her straight up - how much you are hurt, and why. Say it much like you wrote it, to the point, direct, and honest.  

 

Good luck.  

 

Julia

Has anyone dealt with a boss that is truly evil?  My current boss went to the hospital a few weeks where my step-father had been admitted for heart failure - she lied to the ICU staff and said she was family.  Her boss is now taking her side because she said she went as a friend so apparently it's okay if a friend goes into the hospital and lies about being your family member.  I'm being made out to be the bad person in this because we went a few times I count the number of times on my hand in the past two years.  She told her boss that she was best friend and close friends with my Mom and step-father because she met them at a Christmas Open House my husband and I had in 2005.  She's not my friend never has been.  My two years in this position she lets me know weekly that she's the boss, her way of getting things done by people is to yell at them and humilate them.  She feels it's okay for her to make fun of the two of us in the office i.e. your face is broken out, you need to lose weight, you need a new wardrobe etc...  I was also told on a regular basis that if I didn't end after work social functions I could get fired from my job.  She also informed not just me but the other staff member that if we ever went to the Union or her boss about anything she would win and the department would hate us and we would be forced out the door.  She is evil and twisted if you ask me and yes I went to the Union about the hospital issue and I'm told I have no choice but to go back to work with this person and I flat out refuse.  How come people like this never ever get fired?  Yes I know they cover their butts and everyone believes them like in my situation apparently she my best friend - with friends like her who needs enemies?  2007 has started off very badly not just for me but for my family as well. 

Trust me I have learned this year trust no one in the office setting ever - no one is a friend in the office when push comes to shove they will stab you in the back.  Just don't give them anything to talk about just be friendly but don't share any information with them unless it's work related.  Don't mention what you did the evening before or over the weekend.  It's just not the same work World that it use to be. 

 

 Abusive Mother

 

I haven't spoken to my mother in over a year. I miss her terribly because of what happened between us.

I want to contact her, but I am anxious that her response will not be kind. What do I say to her? I rather send her a letter, than talk to her on the phone. She has been meddlesome,she has scolded me over matters,she tells me how to run my life, she holds grudges,she just will not let things drop,etc. - and let them be. She would keep bringing things up that have happened in the past,etc. Mind you, this woman gave me up for adoption.

I want to start from scratch with her, I just want to get along with my mother. I am a mature, responsible adult who just wants to get along with her mother for a change.

 

 Abusive Mother

 

I haven't spoken to my mother in over a year. I miss her terribly because of what happened between us.

I want to contact her, but I am anxious that her response will not be kind. What do I say to her? I rather send her a letter, than talk to her on the phone. She has been meddlesome,she has scolded me over matters,she tells me how to run my life, she holds grudges,she just will not let things drop,etc. - and let them be. She would keep bringing things up that have happened in the past,etc. Mind you, this woman gave me up for adoption.

I want to start from scratch with her, I am a mature, responsible adult who just wants to get along with her mother for a change.

Hi. Sooner.  Although this board is for discussing workplace bullies, since you brought up the topic of your Mom here (and we know that they can be bullies too!) I will respond here.  Sorry to hear about the type of relationship you have with your mother. I have been through some similar things with mine so I hope I can be helpful.  First, it is commendable that you want to re-build your relationship, and whatever happens when you make contact, please know that you were gutsy as well as doing this in good faith and should be proud of yourself for it no matter what the outcome is.  Remember though that you can only control YOUR actions, not your mother's.  So if she doesn't respond in a positive way, it is because of her own nature, not yours and you shouldn't blame yourself in any way. 

I would opt for the letter rather than the phone call to make the first contact.  This way you get all your thoughts on paper and can re-do it as many times as you'd like before sending it.  She can't interrupt a letter, or hang up on a letter  as she may do in a phone call.  This also gives her time to read it, react to it, calm down...whatever she needs to do before responding.  I hope that she responds positively, but she could be so self-richeous that  she can't recognize her responsibility in the realtionship falling apart.

Just put your feelings in the letter.  Start with what you said here, that you are writing because you miss her, that you know you two have had some difficult times in the past but you want to start all over from scratch. Tell her you want the two of you to be able to get along with one another, that time is too precious for arguing.

Like I said before I have had issues with my Mom too and have gone through long periods where we didn't talk.  In the end, I decided that I'd like to have SOME sort of relationship with her and if it can't be the ideal mother-daughter one, then maybe we won't have constant contact, but we'll have the best relationship possible under the circumstances. You may have to settle for something less than you would wish for.  I hope your Mom responds kindly.  If she doesn't then remember that you made the effort and can be proud that you did, and that her inability to relate to you is not about you but about her.

Good luck and please write here again to let me know how things went.  Juliebgg

Hello.

I have been working for a company for the past 9 years, and at first it was great. Then I switched positions within the company and thats when I met the worst workplace bully.

He is so cruel to everyone around him, but the worst thing about it is that he will get you alone and then just verbally abuse you and treat you like crap. There are a number of us who have expressed great concern to our Manager about this person (who is a supervisor) and the Manager tells us that he doesn't  believe us. The Manager seems to think that this bully on a huge power trip walks on water, and we couldn't figure out why. Then we found out that this certain bully does half of the Manager's work for him, so they seem to have a "you scratch my back, I'll scratch yours" kind of deal.

Just recently, a fellow employee who has been the recipient of the majority of this bully's terror had enough and went to a union representative and filed harassment against him. There were a few of us around when the bully was disrespecting and treating this certain employee like total garbage, and we were asked to write witness statements.

I was one of these witnesses, and I wrote a statement attesting to what I had seen. A couple of days after the harassment charge was filed, fellow co-workers were coming up to me and the employee who filed the charge and telling us things that the Manager and the Supervisor/bully were spreading around the company - things basically trying to discredit us and make us look bad, and all of these rumors are so untrue and vicious.

So far we have heard NOTHING about the harassment charge and what this company plans to do and has the responsibility to do about the fact that this employee, me, and many, many other employees are being harassed and bullied at work by this individual.

This supervisor needs to be terminated, this is NOT AN ISOLATED INCIDENT.

PLEASE, CAN SOMEONE OFFER ME SOME ADVICE ON HOW I CAN GET SOMEONE TO LISTEN????

Febuary 15, 2007, I was in school when a substitute teacher called in for the principle to address the classroom on their bahavior. It was Math Class and I was doing my times table on my fingers, when the principle kicked me out of class and suspended me. Which was unfair because another student in the class asked for a pencil and he was only made to sit in the office for the remainder of the class.

Then out of class I said, "I wanted to call my laywer". They told me to just go home. With those threatening words,"I want to call my laywer", they later called my mother accusing me of being under the influence of drugs or alcohol. Which is crazy because I have been under random screenings and took one the day before. This is their excuse to prevent me from fileing accomplaint against them.

There are now trying to suspend me for ten days with expellsion hearing.
Everything written above is fact.
I need your help to stop them from this unfair treatment.

Contact me at, Jaytee77177@aol.com

Why is it that the healthcare industry employs so many bullies?  In healthcare, we as professionals, are supposed to be caring for the ill and injured patients.  How can we provide care to these patients when we are in an environment which promotes hatred and evil doings toward one another?  Even if you are not a doctor, nurse, medical technician, etc., even if you are doing billing, receptionist, or other clerical/administrative duties, we still should be promoting healing and good health toward our clients. 

 

In the medical group I worked in, the stress level was so high, and the employee turnover was so high.  So many employees who have been terminated have ended up on Disability, then Unemployment.  When the work environment tears down your self-esteem, it creates illness not only physically, but mentally as well.  I am ashamed of my former co-workers and I hope I never cross paths with them ever again for the remainder of my life.  I have decided that I want my next job to be away from the healthcare industry.