Topic : Workplace Bullies

Let me tellyou-the healthcare industry is the absolute worst field I have ever been in.  Between government intervention into every litle thing we do, right up to coworkers.  Every day it  is a war zone.  I work at a hospital that is smack dab in the middle of the ghetto-shootings, robberies, you name it.  It has come into the hospital, and permeated every aspect of our work day.  Now if that is not stressful enough, my employer is constantly harrassing me to do more andmake more money at any cost.  We have a middle boss who sits on her ass all day long-whenever our work has to be "graded" by her-she doesn't do it-and guess what?  If something doesn't get done because of that wench, we get another process we have to follow plus an ass chewing for something that was not even my or my coworkers fault.  So I have decided to leave this field-and let me tell you I will never go back.  I have been doing my job since 1989, I havemore experience and knowledge than that wench, and because of her I have no chance to get promoted.  On top of it all, she is a nasty backstabber and uses her authority to bully-and the main boss won't address it so the hell with both of them.  Only problem is, I am so far in debt anything I take will be a pay cutthat I cannot afford.  I would like to believe there is justice, but I know damn well there isn't.
Oh-and even the doctors are getting into it-down to padding their pockets and forgetting patient care.
Well, you all get the point.  I won't say anymore.  I will not step foot in a doctors office unless I am on my death bed-I have zero respect for any of them.  I feel bad for all of us-the system is a complete joke.
I plan to go to school for something completely different, but my spirit is so beaten, I doubt I will be able to finish.  I just wish I could get a million dollars, get a place on an island, and have the whole working world leave me the hell alone.

     And these managers and society just cant figure out why people come in and shoot up the workplace.....
Doesn't take a genius to understand that one, but then again, maybe it does....

dr. phil, how can i go about trying to forget  my old job & look ahead for something new. doug. because i got laid off of my old job. doug.

I also experienced bullying in the workplace.  This was many years ago, I was "black balled" by the much younger, clique.  I was just trying to do my job, and keep my nose out of everyone's business.  I had a 2 year old son, and I had just gotten pregnant with my second child, so I was feeling overwhelmed. So I just did my job, and no one ever complained about my performance.  After I had my second baby, I took a month off for maternity leave, but when I went back to work everything had changed.  They told me that they found problems with my accounts, and therefore they had to take away most of my customers, they demoted me, and put me on probation.  The couple of women who I thought were my friends, suddenly refused to talk to me, and when they had company dinners with all the employees, they would "forget" to tell me.

I was so hurt and confused, and everytime I tried to ask my bosses, or other people what happened and why they were treating me that way, no one seemed to be able to give me a straight answer. Eventually I became so sick I couldn't even take care of my family, so I quit and left it to God.  Sure enough a year later, I found out that every single person who had been mean and hateful, had gotten fired. I truly believe that what goes around comes around.  Life has a way to give you back what you put out.  If it doesn't happen to the bullies directly, it will happen to their children or other loved ones, and they will remember when they had a hand at bullying someone else.

Hi "Simply"!!!  Didn't you sort of feel like you were al of a sudden thrust into the twilight zone?  That nothing seemed real that was happening to you at work?  That is how I felt at a previous job I had many years ago where I had been known for doing a great job.  Then a new boss took over and all of a sudden, nothing I did was right and she wrote horrible evaluations about me and gave me a difficult time with everything.  And it doesn't even mean you are doing your job poorly.  Just ONE person can take a dislike to you for any ridiculous reason.  And then make life miserable for you at work Yes, I too started getting the cold shoulder from people who I used to eat lunch with and have a good relationship with.    And I was out of the loop with communications too. 

I just recently gave notice at my current job....things aren't nearly as bad here as that job I had many years ago, but I feel that my current boss plays favorites and is not very appreciative--atleast not until I gave my notice------of everything I do.  I don't know if you have a quiet personality, but I think that we are much more susceptible to workplace bullies.  They think that we won't fight back.   So we have to show them that we will!!!  I'm glad those vicious people at your job got fired. Did you ever wonder if one of them messed up the accounts while you were out on leave and then tried to pass the blame on to you?  Wouldn't be at all surprised.

Things don't always work out that nicely where the bullies get fired.  It didn't happen in my case  But I did report some of my boss's shenanigans to some higher ups..  Atleast I gave themsomething to think about and it made things uncomfortable for her for a while.

You were smart to get out of that job.  It isn't worth risking your health for and you and your family come first.  I hope things are better for you now!  Good luck.  JB

This is an issue we have never seen addressed on the show. There are about 10 of us working under a narcissistic boss. She is also a pathological liar (although this seems to be another of the symptoms of narcissism).
The biggist problem is that she is an  elected official (Finance Director). At this point she is just appointed as her predecessor retired mid-term. She was able to fool many people including the mayor. About half of us met with the mayor in the fall. At that point he admitted that he also knew she wasn't right, but we had 2 options-look for another job or find someone to run against her in Nov.(2007) and he said he had someone in mind, our boss's former assistant, who has since transferred to another dept. due to the stress she has put on him. We do know that the mayor is helping us (behind the scenes) in seeing to it that she isn't elected in Nov., but we don't know how we can make it till then. The city could get rid of her, but they don't want egg on their face or admit they made a mistake. She is a bully, a blatant liar and puts so much of her work on us that we can't complete our work, then threatens to write us up if we are behind. None of the other Finance Directors have expected us to do their work (which she takes credit for). Looking for another job, isn't an option. Some of us are in our 50's, some have been there for a long time and within a few years to retirement. Several of us are on anti-depressants, although that doesn't help the stress. We all have a hard time falling asleep on Sunday evening, feel sick to or have knots in our stomachs thinking about going back on Monday. We are about 90% sure that she is going to lose the election, but how to deal with her till then, and what is going to happen when she loses in Nov. until Jan. when the new person takes office?
Please tell us how we can deal with her, we've read all the tips-agree with her, look awestruck when she tells the stories, etc. Is there anything else we can do to get her out of there? We have thought about going to the head of HR, although we're sure she knows what is going on. We are a united front, and lean on each other, but sometimes it isn't enough.
It is really sad that a president can be impeached, but we have to continue dealing with her because the current admin. doesn't want the embarassment. Thank you for listening.

and it's like everytime I turn around he is either sabbatoging my efforts. If I leave a detailed memo about where I left off with an issue, he will take that and pick it apart, and completely go a different way with it, just to prove that I should have done it a different way.  If i don't leave a detailed message, I get written up for being a poor communicator.  He is awful. I know he wants me gone and I took the week off to interview.  I have had a week filled with interviews and I am just amazed at how many people want someone wtih my skills! I got my power back by getting out there and finding what I want.

 

I hope all of you that are suffering with a bully boss are doing the same.

 

 

What is it with the power trips these people get on?  I was accused of giving the impression I feel the staff is out to get me...um, no...just one person.  Why can't that be seen? Because they simply cannot do that. If they did say, yes, there is a problem, then they open themselves up to a lawsuit for not doing something sooner. If they say there is no problem, they have to scramble to prove you are the problem..

 

Get out while you can, and find another job.  Life is the longest thing you do...make it count.

 I have been in the administrative assistance field for over 15 years now and have worked in many different offices with all types of co-workers, and ranging from huge, well-known corporations to small local area businesses.  Dynamics and protocols differ from office to office, obviously, but one thing I have observed is that one thing NEVER seems to change:  The competitive pettiness, the subtle favoritism, and small-minded people who have somehow been afforded power over others while lacking human interaction skills.  I am continually astounded by the magnitude of incompetence and allowable offenses I have seen in the workplace, and I am even more astounded by the blame-games, the backstabbing, the " cover-your-a** " attitudes, the outright lies, and the serious lack of accountability on the part of those exhibiting these behaviors.  Often, the people I have seen demonstrating bullying office behavior are in upper-level management positions and supervise others.

Now I do realize that anybody promoted to or hired into a position of authority as such may have come about it because their quarterly figures were outstanding, or they have excellent training and expertise, or they may have been loyal and dependable employees of the company for years.  Whatever the case may be, from a revenue-generating and productive-business point of view, I am sure many of these people are skilled at what they do.  (And sometimes they aren't...)  What is obviously NOT being appropriately measured and evaluated is how well these people interact with others on a human scale.  It seems that much of what is considered "valued business traits" these days seem to straddle the fence on what can be called competitive, "cut-throat" tactics or outright abuse.  The magnitude and escalation of abuse of power by upper-management is directly affected by how much these people are able to get away with it and why.  In my opinion, it is a structural problem, and almost all office dynamics are structurally set up to model a hierarchy, or militaristic-type chain-of-command.  For example:  You will obey and respect your superiors not because they are respectful or fair to you but because you have been instructed to do so by the organization that employs you.  Here lies the great potential for abuse.  This is the arena where absurdly obvious mistreatment becomes the accepted norm, and ultimately, the grounds for an unhealthy work atmosphere, to put it mildly.  Unfortunately, the threat of job termination is used for leverage and dangled in front of weaker employees much like the proverbial carrot-on-a stick in front of the donkey.  This threatening attitude perpetuates the bullying abuse, the tolerated silence from management, the shunning and isolation from co-workers, and even the endured continuation by the target of abuse themselves.

I truly believe this is a behaviorial issue, and that it is high-time we recognized that there needs to be some serious intervention and regulation into the assessment of  "people skills".  But this assessment needs to come from an independent, external source from the company itself.  I feel that an employee's Human Resources department is NOT the place to turn to.  However sympathetic they may seem, remember, they are employed by the company you work for and saving the company from any accusations of misconduct is first and foremost on the agenda.

Here are just a few examples of improper and abusive workplace behavior I have actually endured myself:

-- I once casually asked a co-worker, who unfortunately had an explosive temper, if he was okay because he looked upset.  He responded by aggressively and loudly screaming "None of your f***ing business!" at me in front of the entire office.  Nobody reprimanded him and none of the supervisors who I am sure heard it through the open doors of thier nearby offices bothered to intervene.  I was not only offended, but shocked.  When I later brought up the incident privately to my supervisor, I was told by her these exact words:  "Oh, that's just how Dave is.  I'm sure he didn't mean it."  Needless to say, I resigned from that job within weeks.

--  Also, on this same job with the same supervisor:  While on the phone with a client I was instructed to call to inquire about payment on an overdue bill, I apparently must have said something that did not bode well my supervisor, who was lurking behind my desk.  This woman actually screamed at me into my ear while I was conversing with the client.  Not only was the client taken aback, but he actually started consoling me as I was at a loss for words.  The supervisor then ripped the phone out of my hands and "finished" the conversation.  To this day, I have no idea what, if anything, I had "done wrong" during that phone call.
     Later, I found out that I was the eighth person hired to fill that position in a five-month period of time!  Some of the previous departures, I was told, actually went to lunch on the first day of employment and never returned.  I must have done something right; I managed to stay there over six months before I resigned.

-- One company I worked for had an office comptroller who took naps at his desk daily, surfed the internet for porn (which he bragged about), and had to ask for the current date nearly every day, usually around 3 or 4 in the afternoon.

-- I once worked for a large corporation in which I discovered that my cubicle had been assigned to someone else while I was on my lunch break.  With no preparation or prior knowledge, I had to move my entire work area to another location altogether while the newly assigned person audibly complained about how the area was "not ready for him".

-- I had a supervisor who routinely sent back completed documents for revision, reprinting, and redistribution due to such minor and insignificant details as a missing comma, whether or not I typed the number 3 or wrote the word "three", the margin setting was not to his liking, or the fact that his name was not stated first before another supervisor's name.  This resulted in wasted time which ultimately reflected poorly on me.  Not to mention insulting, as I was a journalism major and have always maintained a near perfect average on the subjects of English, grammar, and other related fields.  I don't even use SpellCheck!

--In the office in which I currently work, I recently had a another department's supervisor (one to whom I do not professionally answer to) yell at me from across the office in front of other co-workers because I said "The confirmation will be mailed out this afternoon" (as I had been told) instead of saying "The confirmation will be mailed out shortly" to a consumer on the phone who was inquiring about it.  The information I was relating was not even something I dealt with in my department and I was only answering this inquiry as a means of "helping out" (as we were expected to do) because we were short-staffed that day, her assistant being out on sick leave.   After hanging up the phone with the consumer (who incidentally heard the embarrassing exchange), I let this supervisor know that what she did was extremely rude.   I was subsequently "written up" by this person because I was angry.   My actual supervisor, to whom I DO report to, had been on vacation at that time, the  Vice President was out of the office due to illness, and the President was out of the office at a business meeting. This left me with no witnesses other than co-workers who were already walking on eggshells in fear of this woman, as I have come to realize, and no one on that particular day to go to for assistance.  Moreover, I have started to see a pattern with this woman: She will lurk around my work area and try to verbally  "push my buttons" whenever  we are short-staffed and  my immediate supervisor is not around.
     Worst of all, last week I  was informed by my supervisor to locate a file on her desk for her.  While doing so, I came across an unmarked folder lying right out in the open on her desk that contained  typed-up  complaints about me and my work performance by this other woman.  Needless to say, I read her comments.  I was outraged to see that this woman had made up OUTRIGHT LIES about me, attributing things to me that I had NEVER SAID OR DONE!  But because I was not supposed to have seen this document, I was powerless to do or say anything about it.  This is what I am dealing with now, and still am not sure how to handle just yet.