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Topic : Workplace Bullies

Number of Replies: 245
New Messages This Week: 0
Last Reply On:
Created on : Thursday, July 07, 2005, 09:25:23 am
Author : dataimport
Bullying is not just a schoolyard pastime anymore, it has spread to the workplace as well. Share your stories, support and advice with others dealing with a bully at work.

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June 8, 2007, 4:00 pm CDT

Bullying in the Workplace

Quote From: sunburst77

 I think I'm also in the twilight zone.  Had 2 very bad experiences in the medical field in the past couple years, it's happening now and I'm worried how this is going to affect my future jobs.  I have been looking up "workplace bullying" on the web and it seems to be an escalating problem.  The doctor I work for now is very knowledgable and can be very personable, but he is also a mean, thoughtless, rude, and crude person who zeroes in on people's weaknesses and mentally tortures them, apparently just because he CAN.   I kept asking myself "WHY?" I'm a nice lady, I try my best on my job, try to do the right thing, why is he targeting ME?  You may have something there, about some of us being susceptible because we have quieter personalities and we want to get along and live and let live--but the bullies aren't like us--they WANT to stir up problems--they seem to thrive on it!  They seem, according to the websites on bullying that I visited, to actually seek out people who do have good work ethics and are reasonable and intelligent.   I think maybe I'm being picked on because I'm like the little boy who blurted out that "The Emperor doesn't have new clothes on--he's just naked!."   (Remember that fairy tale--The Emperor's New Clothes"?)  I'm the one in the office who said, The boss doesn't have a "dry wit" or a "weird sense of humor"--no one's laughing at his "jokes," which are really just insults--it's not funny--he's just a bully.  I saw through the bullying and said so.  I'm honest and really don't know how to suck up to people or, excuse my language, be a butt-kisser.  So they want to kill the messenger.  Do a Google-search on workplace bullies & see what you come up with. Very enlightening.
 I understand what you mean.
I have talked to peers at work about bullies and they feel that those bullies are crazy.
I like my job and I do not think bosses should get away with everything.
This person is out all the time for any reason.
Ijwanted to take my mother for a chemo treatment and was told to cahnge the appointment.
I am staying at my job,my agency is being taken over because of poor management.
 
June 9, 2007, 6:32 pm CDT

This is a repeat Boss refused request to take mother for chem

Quote From: sandcastles

 My boss said that I could taek a leave when I told her mymother was sick.
Three days later I asked her for hours off to taek my mother to chemo.
SHe said NO
I was so upset
She said find someone else to do it
I have 3oo hours of accrued time, and I voluteered to switch shifts and she said no
IThis is a humans services agency
SHe is out all the time
I don't trust her
 I mistankely posted the same messge three times.
I apoplogize and appreciate those who answered me
I sould remove the reapts,but I don't know ho.
Thanks again
 
June 19, 2007, 4:22 pm CDT

Workplace Bullies

Quote From: sandcastles

 My boss said that I could taek a leave when I told her mymother was sick.
Three days later I asked her for hours off to taek my mother to chemo.
SHe said NO
I was so upset
She said find someone else to do it
I have 3oo hours of accrued time, and I voluteered to switch shifts and she said no
IThis is a humans services agency
SHe is out all the time
I don't trust her
     Tell the bitch to shove the job and take it anyway...family first.  Personally, I became fed up today.  I am taking vacation next month, and when I return I am looking for a job that makes me happier.  I have talked about this for more than a year, but the time has come and I am not going to "talk" anymore-time for action.  Money just doesn't matter anymore-I have decided to pay what bills I can, and forget the rest. AFter all, the whole country is in this boat, and personally, my well being is going to come first now.  If it was my mother, I would go.  Can you take family and medical leave?
 
June 19, 2007, 4:23 pm CDT

Workplace Bullies

Quote From: juliebgg

She is nasty and insensitive!!  I don't blame you for not trusting her, especially when she just went back on her word! 

Human service places such as healthcare and educational institutions seem to have the most insensitive people rather than the most nurturing....how sad.

     This is so true!!!!!!!!!!  EVeryone out there, listen up-stay out of healthcare as a profession-it is horrible!!!  The bottom line is money, money, money-at any cost.


 
June 23, 2007, 1:42 pm CDT

My boss refused to let metake time off for chemo

Quote From: kwindshawn

     Tell the bitch to shove the job and take it anyway...family first.  Personally, I became fed up today.  I am taking vacation next month, and when I return I am looking for a job that makes me happier.  I have talked about this for more than a year, but the time has come and I am not going to "talk" anymore-time for action.  Money just doesn't matter anymore-I have decided to pay what bills I can, and forget the rest. AFter all, the whole country is in this boat, and personally, my well being is going to come first now.  If it was my mother, I would go.  Can you take family and medical leave?
I didnot take that day off but others.
She is out all the time ,they let her take a maternityt leave and many days after that.
I Think that what she said is against the Family and Medical leave law.
I have spoke to all my coworkers to let them know. We think she iscrazy
She is crazy, wears jeans and tshirts and is a manager.
My agency is being taken over and I hope they fire her.
Another supervisor there,got her law degree while being a "supervisor"
I have become more assertive, she is crazy and I have no synpathy for her and any of her problems.
How would they make money if it was not for me and the hard workers

 
June 24, 2007, 6:04 am CDT

Workplace Bullies

Quote From: sandcastles

I didnot take that day off but others.
She is out all the time ,they let her take a maternityt leave and many days after that.
I Think that what she said is against the Family and Medical leave law.
I have spoke to all my coworkers to let them know. We think she iscrazy
She is crazy, wears jeans and tshirts and is a manager.
My agency is being taken over and I hope they fire her.
Another supervisor there,got her law degree while being a "supervisor"
I have become more assertive, she is crazy and I have no synpathy for her and any of her problems.
How would they make money if it was not for me and the hard workers

     You're  absolutely right.  I had a similar situation at my work.  The boss is still always gone, and totally useless, and everyone all over my state and elsewhere knows it.  They have kept her 8 years too long in my opinion, however, they had an audit recently at our location from the big shots.  Come to find out, she is worthless-well, duh!!!!  They pretty much stripped her of all her power, so she is dead space sitting in the office.  The big boss is on her constantly, and I think they are making her so miserable she is finally considering leaving.  Our main boss is a pain as well, but I keep my mouth shut for the time being, because I have a plan and we have lost so many good workers lately, with several other long timers planning to leave in the near future, they really can't afford to piss anyone else off, so I don't think I will get fired.  Interesting side note to all of this-the middle manager now treats me like gold, since surprisingly I am the only half friend she has over there now-and I keep it business related as much as posible.  I also have taken over a few reports that she didn't work to help out-only because it ensures my job in the long run and keeps them off my back.  The day will come when I am thoroughly tired of it and I will move on-that day is soon, but for the time being I am sitting tight to see what happens.  Life's too short for this crap, and since my house sold, I don't have to have as much income, and if it gets to be too much, I will leave as well.

 
July 4, 2007, 3:03 am CDT

lonely, sad wife

Dear Dr. Phil.Thank you for a lovely show every week.I was told to write you a letter,so here is my letter.I am married for almost 9 years,have a 4 year old daughter and is a working mum.I would like to divorce my husband,but unfortunately it is not possible.Firstly I don't have the financial support on my own, we have a house together (in both our names) and my daughter loves her father.We don't agree on anything (really anything),we argue the whole time and I also don't love him any more.Even having to make love is an issue.I know it's easy to get an divorce,but not when your husband tells everyone you are the lesser parent,it is your fault we can not affort a better house,I am less intelligent than he and he always tries to impress his parents (he is 35 years).I know to argue the whole time is no need for a divorce,but if you feel that he sucks the life out of you and that a beating might be better than this verbal abuse,you want to leave.I feel life would be better for my daughter if my husband and I do not live in the same house because of the fighting or being anry the whole time.This is not good for her.We don't scream and shout at each other as much as we're just anry the whole time.It is so tiresome.I think it do sometimes happen that one grows out-of-love for one another.My husband would never let me take my daughter,even if I am prepared to stay in the same town for her sake.Thank you.Love Wippie
 
July 23, 2007, 8:22 pm CDT

Take a break

Quote From: taniasmit0000

Dear Dr. Phil.Thank you for a lovely show every week.I was told to write you a letter,so here is my letter.I am married for almost 9 years,have a 4 year old daughter and is a working mum.I would like to divorce my husband,but unfortunately it is not possible.Firstly I don't have the financial support on my own, we have a house together (in both our names) and my daughter loves her father.We don't agree on anything (really anything),we argue the whole time and I also don't love him any more.Even having to make love is an issue.I know it's easy to get an divorce,but not when your husband tells everyone you are the lesser parent,it is your fault we can not affort a better house,I am less intelligent than he and he always tries to impress his parents (he is 35 years).I know to argue the whole time is no need for a divorce,but if you feel that he sucks the life out of you and that a beating might be better than this verbal abuse,you want to leave.I feel life would be better for my daughter if my husband and I do not live in the same house because of the fighting or being anry the whole time.This is not good for her.We don't scream and shout at each other as much as we're just anry the whole time.It is so tiresome.I think it do sometimes happen that one grows out-of-love for one another.My husband would never let me take my daughter,even if I am prepared to stay in the same town for her sake.Thank you.Love Wippie

Ever thought of taking a break from your problems? 

 

Take your daughter and go to a mother daughter retreat. Many churches have them.  Or go on a mother daughter cruise or just drive to the next town and chill in a hotel and think, talk and relax.

 

Make your decision then wheither or not you want to stay or leave and why.

 

Before you leave the hotel or vacation site, call an attorney in your town and meet with them to discuss your options. Don't go home until you do.... Or don't go back home to any more... take your daughter and go... never leave her and say you will come back later....and get her, cause he will say you abandoned her. 

 

Then act on them immediately..... Ifs just life, so you need to get on with it...... Even if that means moving to Wazoo Mississippi or nowhere Canada.... life goes on wheither you're happy or not...

 

So don't worry, think it over and make a decision.

 

Give up the house, it's just real estate, you can buy again later.... the transition to a single life is easier if you leave less to fight over ....

 

Sincerely

 
July 24, 2007, 11:34 pm CDT

Mean,rude people in chatrooms

 

What is with peoples attitudes in chatrooms,especially kids? I know this behavior all too well.

These people are lacking in manners, they are cruel; rude; and if they will or try to get you into a e-arguement as well. . Any thoughts on this?  It is hard and rare to find a mature person to chat with.

 
August 6, 2007, 9:44 am CDT

Workplace Bullies

Quote From: mswing10

My husband is experiencing this this right now.  I'm amazed at how cruel people can be. 

My husband is experiencing this right now also.

 

It's sad that there are so many people out in the world - out to deliberately hurt others.

 

Whatever happened to "do unto others, as you would have them do unto."

 

We will get past this with our love for each other and our family and our will to SURVIVE.

 
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