Topic : Workplace Bullies

Quote From: kwindshawn

     You're  absolutely right.  I had a similar situation at my work.  The boss is still always gone, and totally useless, and everyone all over my state and elsewhere knows it.  They have kept her 8 years too long in my opinion, however, they had an audit recently at our location from the big shots.  Come to find out, she is worthless-well, duh!!!!  They pretty much stripped her of all her power, so she is dead space sitting in the office.  The big boss is on her constantly, and I think they are making her so miserable she is finally considering leaving.  Our main boss is a pain as well, but I keep my mouth shut for the time being, because I have a plan and we have lost so many good workers lately, with several other long timers planning to leave in the near future, they really can't afford to piss anyone else off, so I don't think I will get fired.  Interesting side note to all of this-the middle manager now treats me like gold, since surprisingly I am the only half friend she has over there now-and I keep it business related as much as posible.  I also have taken over a few reports that she didn't work to help out-only because it ensures my job in the long run and keeps them off my back.  The day will come when I am thoroughly tired of it and I will move on-that day is soon, but for the time being I am sitting tight to see what happens.  Life's too short for this crap, and since my house sold, I don't have to have as much income, and if it gets to be too much, I will leave as well.

Quote From: proudnavymom

  I like everyone else have suffered with a boss that abused her supervisory powers .  It was a very small office with only 8 employees in a booth the size of a medium bathroom.  She would play each employee against the other and talk smack about the employees to customers.  If you happened to walk across her path that day you would be the victim of the day.  At one time, 5 employees wrote to corporate headquarters to get results.  Hardly did we know headquarters was telling her detailed information on what we wrote.  We then had to re-read the handbook on the open door policy (which was a joke)  and sign it stating we could only go to her with any problems.  This black widow caused me to get high blood pressure and be put on medicine because she was so abusive.  Since I quit two years ago, the turn over rate is still extremely high and employees are still trying to get headquarters to take action against this narcissitic (sp) bully.  The business is a vendor on tribal land inside a casino so, we are working very hard on getting the tribal council to take notice and put their foot down.  Why would a corporate office NOT take action with so many people leaving and writing about the abuse on thier exit letter?  I dont get it !!!!!!!!!

Quote From: nooyawkgurrl

 I have been in the administrative assistance field for over 15 years now and have worked in many different offices with all types of co-workers, and ranging from huge, well-known corporations to small local area businesses.  Dynamics and protocols differ from office to office, obviously, but one thing I have observed is that one thing NEVER seems to change:  The competitive pettiness, the subtle favoritism, and small-minded people who have somehow been afforded power over others while lacking human interaction skills.  I am continually astounded by the magnitude of incompetence and allowable offenses I have seen in the workplace, and I am even more astounded by the blame-games, the backstabbing, the " cover-your-a** " attitudes, the outright lies, and the serious lack of accountability on the part of those exhibiting these behaviors.  Often, the people I have seen demonstrating bullying office behavior are in upper-level management positions and supervise others.

Now I do realize that anybody promoted to or hired into a position of authority as such may have come about it because their quarterly figures were outstanding, or they have excellent training and expertise, or they may have been loyal and dependable employees of the company for years.  Whatever the case may be, from a revenue-generating and productive-business point of view, I am sure many of these people are skilled at what they do.  (And sometimes they aren't...)  What is obviously NOT being appropriately measured and evaluated is how well these people interact with others on a human scale.  It seems that much of what is considered "valued business traits" these days seem to straddle the fence on what can be called competitive, "cut-throat" tactics or outright abuse.  The magnitude and escalation of abuse of power by upper-management is directly affected by how much these people are able to get away with it and why.  In my opinion, it is a structural problem, and almost all office dynamics are structurally set up to model a hierarchy, or militaristic-type chain-of-command.  For example:  You will obey and respect your superiors not because they are respectful or fair to you but because you have been instructed to do so by the organization that employs you.  Here lies the great potential for abuse.  This is the arena where absurdly obvious mistreatment becomes the accepted norm, and ultimately, the grounds for an unhealthy work atmosphere, to put it mildly.  Unfortunately, the threat of job termination is used for leverage and dangled in front of weaker employees much like the proverbial carrot-on-a stick in front of the donkey.  This threatening attitude perpetuates the bullying abuse, the tolerated silence from management, the shunning and isolation from co-workers, and even the endured continuation by the target of abuse themselves.

I truly believe this is a behaviorial issue, and that it is high-time we recognized that there needs to be some serious intervention and regulation into the assessment of  "people skills".  But this assessment needs to come from an independent, external source from the company itself.  I feel that an employee's Human Resources department is NOT the place to turn to.  However sympathetic they may seem, remember, they are employed by the company you work for and saving the company from any accusations of misconduct is first and foremost on the agenda.

Here are just a few examples of improper and abusive workplace behavior I have actually endured myself:

-- I once casually asked a co-worker, who unfortunately had an explosive temper, if he was okay because he looked upset.  He responded by aggressively and loudly screaming "None of your f***ing business!" at me in front of the entire office.  Nobody reprimanded him and none of the supervisors who I am sure heard it through the open doors of thier nearby offices bothered to intervene.  I was not only offended, but shocked.  When I later brought up the incident privately to my supervisor, I was told by her these exact words:  "Oh, that's just how Dave is.  I'm sure he didn't mean it."  Needless to say, I resigned from that job within weeks.

--  Also, on this same job with the same supervisor:  While on the phone with a client I was instructed to call to inquire about payment on an overdue bill, I apparently must have said something that did not bode well my supervisor, who was lurking behind my desk.  This woman actually screamed at me into my ear while I was conversing with the client.  Not only was the client taken aback, but he actually started consoling me as I was at a loss for words.  The supervisor then ripped the phone out of my hands and "finished" the conversation.  To this day, I have no idea what, if anything, I had "done wrong" during that phone call.
     Later, I found out that I was the eighth person hired to fill that position in a five-month period of time!  Some of the previous departures, I was told, actually went to lunch on the first day of employment and never returned.  I must have done something right; I managed to stay there over six months before I resigned.

-- One company I worked for had an office comptroller who took naps at his desk daily, surfed the internet for porn (which he bragged about), and had to ask for the current date nearly every day, usually around 3 or 4 in the afternoon.

-- I once worked for a large corporation in which I discovered that my cubicle had been assigned to someone else while I was on my lunch break.  With no preparation or prior knowledge, I had to move my entire work area to another location altogether while the newly assigned person audibly complained about how the area was "not ready for him".

-- I had a supervisor who routinely sent back completed documents for revision, reprinting, and redistribution due to such minor and insignificant details as a missing comma, whether or not I typed the number 3 or wrote the word "three", the margin setting was not to his liking, or the fact that his name was not stated first before another supervisor's name.  This resulted in wasted time which ultimately reflected poorly on me.  Not to mention insulting, as I was a journalism major and have always maintained a near perfect average on the subjects of English, grammar, and other related fields.  I don't even use SpellCheck!

--In the office in which I currently work, I recently had a another department's supervisor (one to whom I do not professionally answer to) yell at me from across the office in front of other co-workers because I said "The confirmation will be mailed out this afternoon" (as I had been told) instead of saying "The confirmation will be mailed out shortly" to a consumer on the phone who was inquiring about it.  The information I was relating was not even something I dealt with in my department and I was only answering this inquiry as a means of "helping out" (as we were expected to do) because we were short-staffed that day, her assistant being out on sick leave.   After hanging up the phone with the consumer (who incidentally heard the embarrassing exchange), I let this supervisor know that what she did was extremely rude.   I was subsequently "written up" by this person because I was angry.   My actual supervisor, to whom I DO report to, had been on vacation at that time, the  Vice President was out of the office due to illness, and the President was out of the office at a business meeting. This left me with no witnesses other than co-workers who were already walking on eggshells in fear of this woman, as I have come to realize, and no one on that particular day to go to for assistance.  Moreover, I have started to see a pattern with this woman: She will lurk around my work area and try to verbally  "push my buttons" whenever  we are short-staffed and  my immediate supervisor is not around.
     Worst of all, last week I  was informed by my supervisor to locate a file on her desk for her.  While doing so, I came across an unmarked folder lying right out in the open on her desk that contained  typed-up  complaints about me and my work performance by this other woman.  Needless to say, I read her comments.  I was outraged to see that this woman had made up OUTRIGHT LIES about me, attributing things to me that I had NEVER SAID OR DONE!  But because I was not supposed to have seen this document, I was powerless to do or say anything about it.  This is what I am dealing with now, and still am not sure how to handle just yet.

Quote From: nooyawkgurrl

I'll tell you why I think a corporate office wouldn't take action:

  1.  They don't really care about people, just numbers, stats, and revenue.

  2.  To take action would be to acknowledge that there is a problem and give validation to the    complainer, something they do not want to do.

  3.  The person being complained about is either generating major revenue (which, again, is all that seems to matter) or may be in a position to reveal things about company practices that may be considered "less than ethical."

  Ask yourself:  What does the company stand to lose by addressing the issue, and do you think the company is willing to risk losing it?  Do they stand to lose more by addressing the problem or do they stand to gain by continually ignoring it?  What might be thier agenda?  Ask yourself those questions and you will most likely come up with your answers as to why nothing gets done about the problem.

These days, it seems that there is a prevalance of the business philosophy that sees it's employees as "cogs in the wheels of the bigger corporate machine" -- and when a cog gets squeaky or stuck, they'd rather throw it out and replace it with a new one... it's cheaper than redesigning the original blueprint and rebuilding a new machine altogether.

You did the right thing by quitting... no job is worth risking your health or your sanity over.

Quote From: bullybuster

Our country urgently needs Healthy Workplace Legislation.  Presently, "status-blind" workplace bullying is legal in every state, much to our national shame.  Workplace bullying is rampant.  It is counter-productive for public and private industry.  It destroys careers, health, families, and lives.  Workplace bullying is a silent epidemic in our culture.  We are tolerant of work abuse because we deny its existence and blame the targets of those who suffer from narcissism. 

 

I was targeted by a corrupt school superintendent who has a string of injured targets throughout my state.  He destroyed my career and my life in 10 months.  I suffered a severe case of Post-traumatic Stress Disorder that has converted to a spastic neurological condition.  I knew too much about school finance and had to be silenced. 

 

As part of my wellness program, I help other injured targets through the California Healthy Workplace Advocates.  Our mission is to pass legislation that would raise public awareness to correct and prevent abusive work environments through legislation.

Quote From: nooyawkgurrl

   Granted, it's been a while since i visited this message board, but I have an update on my situation:  The bitch somehow managed to finally get me fired.

   She generated so much tension in regard to me that I felt completely isolated in the last few weeks I was at that job.  I can only speculate how many lies she told about me to others to make them so condescending towards me.  It was like I became  "contagious."  I even observed her chatting daily with employees that she barely used to give the time of day to, including my immediate supervisor.  The day I saw them leave together for lunch I knew something was seriously wrong... it didn't take a genius to see how she was trying to become everyone's new best friend.  Not that I cared.  I abhor her type of pettiness and refused to play into it.  It's beneath someone who is truly professional.  I'm smart enough to realize that it takes two to play at the bullying game -- one to dish it out and one to take the crap.  The response is what the bully wants.  Your distress is thier goal.  I vowed never to give it to her, and I didn't.  But she managed to systematically cut me down anyway.

One thing I have noticed in reading over these posts is that so many of these bullying incidents are happening in the caregiving or health-related fields!  What on earth is going on here???  Ironically, the organization I was just terminated from is a local chapter for a national, non-profit organization dedicated to fighting arthritis and it's related diseases.  The bully that I speak of is, of all things, a director for programs that assist arthritis sufferers and the elderly.  She's also a  former nurse.  She is one of the phoniest, two-faced people I have ever met.  Her pettiness, condescension, and abusive behavior towards her co-workers, especially her assistant,  truly begs for an assessment of her psychological health.

Here is how I was fired:  My teenage daughter calls me at my job, hysterical crying, on Wednesday at 4pm.  Her father, of whom I am divorced from and have joint custody, had verbally abused her and she wanted me to pick her up immediately as she did not want to be near him at that time.  Normally, I have my daughter from Friday evening through Monday morning, an arrangement that agrees with both my ex-husbands work schedule, my work schedule, and my daughters bus transport to her school.   But this was an emergency -- my daughter had never called me at work so distraught or hysterical. It was truly alarming and it unnerved me.  After hanging up the phone, I was in tears and visually distraught about what my daughter had just conveyed to me.  Only one co-woker asked me if I was okay, though the office is so tiny it is obvious that all could hear what just happened.  Anyway, at 5pm, the end of my work day, I picked her up from my ex's home.
The next morning, I called in to my supervisor to let her know I could not be in that day (Thursday) due to the personal situation involving my daughter.  Without going into detail, I will say this: After seeing the state my daughter was in, I knew I could not leave her alone in my apartment all day while I worked... I was truly afraid she might try to hurt herself.
Friday morning: I go to the office, sit at my desk, and am soon called into my boss's office.  I am told I am being terminated because I took the previous day off without authorization.  Gee, what caring people.

Personally, I found the reason for my firing to be the lamest crap I had ever heard, like they waited for something, anything, to use for a reason to get rid of me and somehow decided that "this was it.".  It was so obviously pre-planned by the attitudes shown to me by my co-workers, my supervisor, and my boss.  When I was fired, my boss actually asked me if wanted to go on record as having resigned!!!  I was shocked and insulted.  I was like, Excuse me??? I had no intention of quitting, you just ambush me with this information that I'm terminated, and now you want me to go on record as having resigned voluntarily???  Are you insane???  How stupid did this man think I was?  What a spineless lowlife.

You know what though?  As devastating as this experience has been, I am better off not working there anymore.  These self-proclaimed "caring people" kicked me when I was low.  I think the point I fully realized just how negative the situation had become was when I attended a fundraising event of which I was one of only three people in charge of organizing the event itself: my immediate supervisor, our boss, and myself.  I knew the details of this event like the back of my hand.  However, on the day of the event itself I was assigned to hand out T-shirts to people attending the event while a volunteer, who knew nothing about the event details or the procedures at hand, was assigned to handle incoming attendees and their monetary contributions.  When the volunteer was having trouble with the roster list and how to handle incoming checks, I intervened to help her out, only be told by my supervisor that I should "get back over" to where I had been standing because I was the "T-shirt girl."  That pretty much did it for me...