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Topic : 06/03 Controversial Love Affairs

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Created on : Friday, October 19, 2007, 01:47:27 pm
Author : DrPhilBoard1

(Original Air Date: 10/24/07Are you falling in love with all the wrong people? Dr. Phil's guests are entangled in affairs so taboo, one man could land himself in jail! Emily and Brandon have been married for two-and-a-half years, and Emily was shocked to learn that her husband had sex with a 15-year-old — twice. Brandon, 25, is now facing two felony charges for having intercourse with a minor, and blames his actions on a porn addiction. Does he really have a disorder, or is he just building a defense for his potential arrest? Then, Debbie, 51, says she has no shame about posing as a younger woman online and meeting attractive men. Her adult children, Michelle and Nathan, say her behavior is not only humiliating, but it's also very dangerous. Why did Debbie fake her own death? Is it possible for her to stop this behavior, or should her children just mind their own business? Tell us what you think.


Find out what happened on the show.


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October 24, 2007, 6:41 am CDT

10/24 Controversial Love Affairs

Quote From: rissa140

First & foremost, I'm sorry that you were abused, I truly am.

 

As for him just saying she consented, IF that is the case then yes, it was rape because that would mean she didnt WILLINGLY CONSENT.... but if this girl WILLINGLY CONSENTED & REALLY DID WANT TO HAVE SEX, I do NOT feel she was raped or is a victim. I'm not trying to say I know all the facts or anything about this girl, if I'm giving that impression, I apologize... thats why I stated that I'd have to wait until the show aired to see how things unfold. As I also stated before, I know that teens are not exactly adults yet (as they are not LITTLE KIDS either), but what some people need to realize is that, they (teens) are capable of more things than most people would like to believe. Most teens these days know more about sex (and other things) then their parents. MAYBE she seduced him!? I'm not saying that she did, but I'm saying its possible. And IF that were true, then this guy could've said no. He could've said no either way, but I'm just saying.

 

As for the laws for age of consent.... I agree that there should be some sort of defined age & it should be the same age in every state. As for what that age should be... I would say 15. I know MANY MANY people DISAGREE, but here is my reason why.... Like I stated in another post, at 15, teens are already allowed to work in some places & start learning how to drive. I believe that if a 15 year old can work & learn how to drive a car, then they're NOT a "child" (because children dont work or drive cars) & they ARE able to consent to sex. Many of our government's laws are twisted & dont make sense. I know this is off topic but another fine example is that you have to be 21 to buy/drink alcohol, but you only have to be 18 to not only buy/smoke cigarettes, but to serve in the MILITARY! How does that make sense? The justice system clearly needs to catch up to biology, technology & society.

 

 

 

I do not know where the moral compass has headed in the world, but I do believe that is why the law is in place to distinguish the difference of adult and juvenile. Just because a 15 year old may want to or desire to have, sex does not give an adult the right to take advantage of that.  Adolescence is the time when they are eager to try everything that is taboo before adulthood.  Leaving me to ask the question, if a teenager decided they would like to try drugs or alcohol because they desire to should we allow that.  Of course not! Why do you think laws have been strictly enforced presently about dealing drugs in school zones?  Why being carded be for the purchase of alcohol? If teens decided, they wanted to have babies at 15 or 16 would that be ok?  Teens are not fully capable of know the ramifications of certain actions that will affect them later in their adulthood.  I still say abstaining from sex is best all around.  In addition, the 25 year old should be put behind bars and considered a sexual predator.   

 
October 24, 2007, 7:00 am CDT

10/24 Controversial Love Affairs

Quote From: rissa140

I may get stoned for this, but its my personal opinion....

 

I'm sorry but, If this 15 year old CONSENTED to the affair, then she is NOT a victim of RAPE! I read another post in another thread about the sexual predator that was recently caught, etc. and I have to agree with that person & say that I highly believe the laws need to change in regard to consensual sex. (For the record, this person's post was NOT talking about the sexual predator that the discussion was about!) Dont get me wrong, the affair should NOT have happened because the guy is married, but to say he is a "sexual predator" or anything of that nature is ridiculous, given that this girl consented. I dont care what anyone says, she is old enough to know better, so where is HER responsibility & punishment in all this? The laws are so twisted.... its legal for a 15 year old to work in some places & take driving classes to learn how to drive, but its not legal for them to consent to sex??? How does that make any sense? And we all know that if it was the other way around & the older person was female & the younger one was a male, then the female would get a slap on the wrist, compared to if she were male.

 

My mother got pregnant with me at 15 (had me at 16) & my biological father was like 21-22.... did my grandparents try to get him in trouble/arrested? NO, because they knew my mother was just as responsible as he was! People need to STOP treating teens as LITTLE kids & make them accountable for their actions. Its not fair for this guy (or anyone else) to be facing felony charges & possibly have to register/be branded as a "sex offender" (and the other person involved gets NO kind of punishment what so ever) when it was CONSENSUAL! I mean really, lets focus on the REAL sexual predators & rapists & put THEM behind bars or worse, and leave the CONSENTING people to clean up their own messes!

 

(oh, and I believe here in CT, the legal age of consent is 16)

Am I correct in assuming that you didn't hear anything that Dr. Phil said about consent and children...or do you just disagree?  Kids should be treated as kids (yes, even teens) and not adults.  Part of the problem in all this might be that we're taught to grow up too fast and our minds haven't caught up with that?
 
October 24, 2007, 7:07 am CDT

10/24 Controversial Love Affairs

Quote From: rissa140

First & foremost, I'm sorry that you were abused, I truly am.

 

As for him just saying she consented, IF that is the case then yes, it was rape because that would mean she didnt WILLINGLY CONSENT.... but if this girl WILLINGLY CONSENTED & REALLY DID WANT TO HAVE SEX, I do NOT feel she was raped or is a victim. I'm not trying to say I know all the facts or anything about this girl, if I'm giving that impression, I apologize... thats why I stated that I'd have to wait until the show aired to see how things unfold. As I also stated before, I know that teens are not exactly adults yet (as they are not LITTLE KIDS either), but what some people need to realize is that, they (teens) are capable of more things than most people would like to believe. Most teens these days know more about sex (and other things) then their parents. MAYBE she seduced him!? I'm not saying that she did, but I'm saying its possible. And IF that were true, then this guy could've said no. He could've said no either way, but I'm just saying.

 

As for the laws for age of consent.... I agree that there should be some sort of defined age & it should be the same age in every state. As for what that age should be... I would say 15. I know MANY MANY people DISAGREE, but here is my reason why.... Like I stated in another post, at 15, teens are already allowed to work in some places & start learning how to drive. I believe that if a 15 year old can work & learn how to drive a car, then they're NOT a "child" (because children dont work or drive cars) & they ARE able to consent to sex. Many of our government's laws are twisted & dont make sense. I know this is off topic but another fine example is that you have to be 21 to buy/drink alcohol, but you only have to be 18 to not only buy/smoke cigarettes, but to serve in the MILITARY! How does that make sense? The justice system clearly needs to catch up to biology, technology & society.

 

 

Maybe the thing that needs to be changed is the laws since biology clearly (I know you may not agree with this) doesn't catch up with the responsibility we put on children...or the things that children do.  They may do certain actions, but that doesn't mean they understand them or the consequences.  Adults on the other hand do (or should at least) understand the consequences of the things they do.  Seems that this may have been the point?
 
October 24, 2007, 7:11 am CDT

10/24 Controversial Love Affairs

Quote From: rpmhansn

Most predators say their victims "consented".  It can be part of a predatory delusion.  As an abused child at the age of 14, I can tell you that my aggressor stated "She wanted it".  I did not fight, kick or even say no.  No child should be put in that position of complacency.  Some victims even believe they wanted it.  Please don't presume that you know all the facts in this case.  Predators operate freely by using psychological tactics to attain their victim's trust.  (ie pity, remorse, affection, love, etc)  What do you really know about this particular 15 year old?  She may have known what she was doing but more than likely was manipulated by this "adult" man.  As for this man, he obviously was aware of the risk he was taking.  He only became concerned of his actions once he was discovered. 

 

The fact is that the age of consent laws MUST have some sort of defined age.  What do you suggest that age be?  15? 13? 10?   And how would we define "child"?  Unfortunately, we cannot make the law per individual circumstance.  So, it must be based on an overall perception.  I say since the legal age of adulthood is 18, the laws on legal consent stand as a realistic method of resolution.  As for being labeled "sex offender", there are degrees of offenses.  It covers everything from indirect contact ( ie patting or pinching a rear) to direct sexual contact.  Again, there is no realistic way to sort out the separate stance of the few.  It may be unfortunate but it is a fact. 

 

It's easy to voice complaints against the justice system, The problem lies in finding a clear, concise and workable solution. 

THANK YOU!  If more people thought this way, maybe more cases would get reported and more people would pay/get the help they need...
 
October 24, 2007, 7:12 am CDT

10/24 Controversial Love Affairs

Just a little side question. did anyone notice that he said he was in the marine corps but they showed a picture of him in an army uniform. I wonder if he really served in Iraq. Maybe he has a lying problem too
 
October 24, 2007, 7:12 am CDT

10/24 Controversial Love Affairs

Quote From: miah78

I was watching this show and it makes me sick about what he says and does I have a hard time believe what he says. He said that he was on active duty and deployed with the Marine Corps but the pictures of him in his uniforms were not the uniform of the Marine Corps. I am very upset about this because he is giving the Marine Corps a bad name with this.

I didn't see this comment before! First thing I noticed! Made me mad
 
October 24, 2007, 7:17 am CDT

10/24 Controversial Love Affairs

This guy who did this with a 15 year old has serious issues and is sick, but  the parents of this 15 year old girl have issues too.

 

Surprised no one has ask why don't the parents have more control over the kid and allowed to wear a mini skirts.

 

So mant times these things happen and true the older person is a criminal but the parents have a hand in this too.

 
October 24, 2007, 7:29 am CDT

not a Marine

Quote From: miah78

I was watching this show and it makes me sick about what he says and does I have a hard time believe what he says. He said that he was on active duty and deployed with the Marine Corps but the pictures of him in his uniforms were not the uniform of the Marine Corps. I am very upset about this because he is giving the Marine Corps a bad name with this.

I want proof that this bum is actually a US Marine. On the previews when the show started it showed a picture of this guy in an ARMY set of woodland bdu's and a black Beret"hat" Marines do not and have never worn berets. As a US Marine we do not tolerate this kind of thing and want to be 100% sure this guy was a US Marine, not in the army before he goes and claims the title Marine child rapist and decimate the name of the Marine Corps.
 
October 24, 2007, 8:54 am CDT

Sounds like a SA, to me!

The addiction tends to progress so that it's really not a surprise that he saw sex with a 15 year old as appropriate.

 

I am a SA and when I was 16, I too was involved with adult men. And yes, I was fully aware of what I was doing & the potential consequences. Whether Dr. Phil is willing to admit it or not, some people just are more aware at an earlier age than others.

 

My addiction allowed me to do the things I did despite my full awareness of the consequences & despite my desires to not do them. That's how addictions work!

 

It really bothers me that Dr. Phil made a point to passively suggest he doesn't believe in the diagnoses of SA. Most in the psychiatric community do not recognize it as an actual diagnoses, yet. But it is being investigated & worked towards. It is a true & actual experience that just should not be denied anymore. It was once a common & professional belief that alcoholism was not a true addiction, as well as shopping, food addiction, gambling. They were just "character issues" & "impulse problems".  Those lines of thinking totally ignores the fact that many of those addicted would a/o even through their own disgust, regret & true desire to stop & not repeat... just the way drug addicts do. IMO, it's just yet another addiction, especially with the prevalence of porn today, that will be recognized soon & handled appropriately.

 

It's not just a character issue. Those chemicals in your brain that people get hooked on are real & sex can bring them out in some of the strongest forms! Opiates replicate those same reactions within a person's brain. Replicate! Opiates are undeniably addictive & all they do is replicate what's already there..

 

It is real.

 

And, just as with all addiction that are left untouched & not handled/dealt with appropriately, it will escalate.

 

He could have helped many with this show but I am afraid he won't. I am afraid he will perpetuate what is quickly becoming an out-dated ideal, that SA is not real. I would love for him to have Dr. P. Carnes on his show to address this, educate the audience & himself.

 

 
October 24, 2007, 8:55 am CDT

10/24 Controversial Love Affairs

Quote From: rissa140

I DO believe his wife & children (if they do have any) are victims of his adultry, and he should've said no if he didnt want to destroy his family... but I stand by my opinion about the 15 year old NOT being a victim. If this guy was an ACTUAL rapist, as in he FORCED her, THEN I would NOT feel the least bit of sympathy for him. BUT, If she WILLINGLY CONSENTED (meaning, he's not just saying she did), then he is NOT a rapist & she was NOT raped! And it seems like the only reason, specifically in cases like this (when its consensual), its considered "statutory rape" is because the legal system couldnt think of anything better. If this girl did in fact willing consent, then she needs to take some responsibility as well!
It's true that the girl should take responsibility if she consented to it, but you have to understand, kids are kids, & they don't think for themselves. They aren't adults, & don't make smart decisions. That's why we have laws like this for. That's when morals come in. Are you saying that all men & women in this country can have sex with many teenage minors as they like, & then get away with it because the teens consented to it? Look at Mary Kay Letourneau & Debra Lafave, for instance. They are the ones who chose to have sex with their teenage students, & even though the teenage boys consented it, should they have gotten away for the crime because they wanted it? No way! Otherwise, they would continue to do it to many others. I'm a man myself at 25 years of age, so I know what's going on. Plus you can bet that I would have that person locked up whenever they continue to molest children. It's not right to be protecting them when they can go do it to someone else.
 
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