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Topic : 06/03 Controversial Love Affairs

Number of Replies: 358
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Created on : Friday, October 19, 2007, 01:47:27 pm
Author : DrPhilBoard1

(Original Air Date: 10/24/07Are you falling in love with all the wrong people? Dr. Phil's guests are entangled in affairs so taboo, one man could land himself in jail! Emily and Brandon have been married for two-and-a-half years, and Emily was shocked to learn that her husband had sex with a 15-year-old — twice. Brandon, 25, is now facing two felony charges for having intercourse with a minor, and blames his actions on a porn addiction. Does he really have a disorder, or is he just building a defense for his potential arrest? Then, Debbie, 51, says she has no shame about posing as a younger woman online and meeting attractive men. Her adult children, Michelle and Nathan, say her behavior is not only humiliating, but it's also very dangerous. Why did Debbie fake her own death? Is it possible for her to stop this behavior, or should her children just mind their own business? Tell us what you think.


Find out what happened on the show.


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October 20, 2007, 9:45 am CDT

i had someone online lie and fake a death...omg..

a couple years ago i met this guy online...told me he was 25 and shared pictures with me..(not dirty ones...this was never a sexual thing) and we talked for hours a day on the computer and the phone..he told me he loved me which i felt the same way but didnt say it first...at the time i was 40 and had 3 kids and a bad marriage...we also spent alot of times on the phone...he sent me gifts and money and set me up with a calling card so i could call him whenever...to me he was everything i wanted...a dream come true...then about 1 1/2 months into all this he told me he had cancer...and didnt want treatment (there is so much more to the story but would take forever to tell)...there were red flags...like when he referred to his sisters he said, "my daughters, listen to me...i mean my sisters" but my heart felt him and believed him so overlooked that at the time...anyway...on memorial day on that weekend...i talked to him on the phone...and he was being delusional and sounded so weak...i called my friend and said i think i spoke to "mark" for the last time...sure enough..later that day i got an email from the woman he lived with telling me he passed away...(there is alot of drama that goes w/this) the email was actually written by him...i was devastated by his death but i still felt his presence...i  emailed several private investigators in the area he was from (florida) and Harvey Morse took on my case at no cost to me...he basically told me what i was able to find out on my own...this 25 yr old dead guy was very much alive...now 69...married...when the P.I told me he was going to go to his house..i didnt want to bring him any hurt (or to his wife) so i managed to contact him on my own...and the truth came out...thing is my heart was already still broken...i forgave him and we spoke actually for the last time today...but for a long time..i could not separate who he said he was (cuz his voice was the same...and his character the same) from who he is...and even convinced myself that i loved the 69 yr old married man cuz same heart...different person is all (oh..i didnt mention, he sent flowers to my grandmothers funeral)...anyway...i learned alot of lesson (still am) and i believe things happen for a reason...i did get courage and strength to stand up to my husband and have recently filed for divorce realizing no knight in shining armor will save me...i have to save myself...i talked to this guy for the last time today because recently he hasnt been here to support me emotionally and it was like he didnt care..maybe he never really did...which i find hurtful..cuz i really gave him my heart...and soul...so the other day he didnt call me when he said he would..and no email..no instant messege...so i left a messege on msn that showed girl with her heart out  and i typed in "take it, it didnt mean much anyway"...he signed on and asked if the messege was for him...still in fear of him getting upset with me...cuz god forbid, he hates me cuz i hurt him...i said no...its just im tired of being hurt...he said its because i didnt call...and i said that didnt help...he said i dont know what to say at this point..i said, is that why you didnt call...he said no, i fell asleep after i went out and got my flu shot...i said, you could have emailed or something woulda been nice...he said ya that was inconsiderate on my part...then he said he should just bow out of my life now..that hes not helping...i said damn...he said...i will always love you and think about you...i said ok....he said..i love you...i said..i dont have it inside me anymore...and he signed off...that is the end...but i still hold love for the man i at one time thought he was...and miss the love i thought i had...this has been a life altering experience...i am starting to heal...but will forever be scarred...thank you for taking the time to read this...
 
October 20, 2007, 12:33 pm CDT

That could be my husband

My ex sounds just like this guy. His porn addiction started at around 13. When he was 39 he had sex with a 15 yo. I don't think the guy should get off because of his porn addiction. There are lots of prisoners we should release if that is the case. Ultimately he is responsible for his behavior.

 
October 20, 2007, 7:03 pm CDT

10/24 Controversial Love Affairs

having sex with a 15 yr old girl is real sick that man needs help.i think his wife should leave him.
 
October 20, 2007, 7:23 pm CDT

Strange bedfellows

   Why get involved with a 15 year old?  Major problem; even if addicted to porn why go for a child?  This will be an interesting show to check out.  I hope I'm free that day.
 
October 21, 2007, 2:41 am CDT

10/24 Controversial Love Affairs

Emily should get out while the going is good. Sex with a 15 year old and a "porn addiction?" What is she waiting for, to have a daughter that he can rape at home?

 

And what's this Debbie faking her own death thing about?

 

 

 
October 21, 2007, 5:54 pm CDT

Porn Disorder-NOT

The man who is having sex with a 15 year old is in denial of his compulsion. My son is a convicted pedophile and so is this man. Our sexual preferences are ingrained in us and throughout time people have loved opposite sexes, same sexes or younger boys and girls. The problem is that law defines the age of consent as 18 and no matter how "mature" the underage person behaves it is child molestation if the age criteria is not met. I do believe this compulsion is a sickness. I know now that my son did not fight his compulsions hard enough. Porn is the downfall of most sexual compulsions. The more one thinks of the deviant behavior the more likely they are to act. It is not an excuse however because the choice is to obey or not obey the laws of this country. When you break the law whether we agree or not we must pay. It can be as simple as a speeding ticket or it can be a charge of molestation but there are consequences. I have no sympathy for this man unless he accepts his responsibility in this. It is not acceptable to blame anything or anyone other than himself.

I do however fell that we do not as a society try to help these molesters. We give them no help and no rehabilitation to speak of and we wonder why the crime statistics are increasing. There is a mentality of lock them up and throw away the key and HELLO they do get out so no matter how much you want to make restrictions that are stupid anyway you miss the whole mark which is to fix the fixable so that you reduce the crimes in the first place.

Anyone involved in this subject look up "Peter Banning" AKA Peter Pan and read his books and web pages.

 

 
October 22, 2007, 10:39 am CDT

About the 25 & 15 year old

I may get stoned for this, but its my personal opinion....

 

I'm sorry but, If this 15 year old CONSENTED to the affair, then she is NOT a victim of RAPE! I read another post in another thread about the sexual predator that was recently caught, etc. and I have to agree with that person & say that I highly believe the laws need to change in regard to consensual sex. (For the record, this person's post was NOT talking about the sexual predator that the discussion was about!) Dont get me wrong, the affair should NOT have happened because the guy is married, but to say he is a "sexual predator" or anything of that nature is ridiculous, given that this girl consented. I dont care what anyone says, she is old enough to know better, so where is HER responsibility & punishment in all this? The laws are so twisted.... its legal for a 15 year old to work in some places & take driving classes to learn how to drive, but its not legal for them to consent to sex??? How does that make any sense? And we all know that if it was the other way around & the older person was female & the younger one was a male, then the female would get a slap on the wrist, compared to if she were male.

 

My mother got pregnant with me at 15 (had me at 16) & my biological father was like 21-22.... did my grandparents try to get him in trouble/arrested? NO, because they knew my mother was just as responsible as he was! People need to STOP treating teens as LITTLE kids & make them accountable for their actions. Its not fair for this guy (or anyone else) to be facing felony charges & possibly have to register/be branded as a "sex offender" (and the other person involved gets NO kind of punishment what so ever) when it was CONSENSUAL! I mean really, lets focus on the REAL sexual predators & rapists & put THEM behind bars or worse, and leave the CONSENTING people to clean up their own messes!

 

(oh, and I believe here in CT, the legal age of consent is 16)

 
October 22, 2007, 7:30 pm CDT

10/24 Controversial Love Affairs

Quote From: rissa140

I may get stoned for this, but its my personal opinion....

 

I'm sorry but, If this 15 year old CONSENTED to the affair, then she is NOT a victim of RAPE! I read another post in another thread about the sexual predator that was recently caught, etc. and I have to agree with that person & say that I highly believe the laws need to change in regard to consensual sex. (For the record, this person's post was NOT talking about the sexual predator that the discussion was about!) Dont get me wrong, the affair should NOT have happened because the guy is married, but to say he is a "sexual predator" or anything of that nature is ridiculous, given that this girl consented. I dont care what anyone says, she is old enough to know better, so where is HER responsibility & punishment in all this? The laws are so twisted.... its legal for a 15 year old to work in some places & take driving classes to learn how to drive, but its not legal for them to consent to sex??? How does that make any sense? And we all know that if it was the other way around & the older person was female & the younger one was a male, then the female would get a slap on the wrist, compared to if she were male.

 

My mother got pregnant with me at 15 (had me at 16) & my biological father was like 21-22.... did my grandparents try to get him in trouble/arrested? NO, because they knew my mother was just as responsible as he was! People need to STOP treating teens as LITTLE kids & make them accountable for their actions. Its not fair for this guy (or anyone else) to be facing felony charges & possibly have to register/be branded as a "sex offender" (and the other person involved gets NO kind of punishment what so ever) when it was CONSENSUAL! I mean really, lets focus on the REAL sexual predators & rapists & put THEM behind bars or worse, and leave the CONSENTING people to clean up their own messes!

 

(oh, and I believe here in CT, the legal age of consent is 16)

I'm not going to stone you, after reading your post you do bring up valid points, however I'd like to offer a couple of my own thoughts.

AGREED- teens are NOT little kids, and should not be treated as such, however they are NOT adults either, and they often do NOT think of the consequences to themselves and others for their actions.  The man is an ADULT, and HE should know better- and blaming a "PornAddiction " is a classic cop out.  But a fifteen year old today, will he look for someone even YOUNGER tommorrow, I wish these so- called adults would just get the hell out of our High Schools.

AGREED- if the men are charged like this, then a woman getting involved with a BOY should be charged, and jailed the same way, and labelled a sex offender as well.

AGREED- let's work at getting the REAL preditors off the streets, however I wonder if the thing for the non legal or barely legals could be a sign of something more sinister ?

Just a couple of thoughts.

Cheers

 
October 22, 2007, 9:17 pm CDT

10/24 Controversial Love Affairs

Quote From: ceildh1

I'm not going to stone you, after reading your post you do bring up valid points, however I'd like to offer a couple of my own thoughts.

AGREED- teens are NOT little kids, and should not be treated as such, however they are NOT adults either, and they often do NOT think of the consequences to themselves and others for their actions.  The man is an ADULT, and HE should know better- and blaming a "PornAddiction " is a classic cop out.  But a fifteen year old today, will he look for someone even YOUNGER tommorrow, I wish these so- called adults would just get the hell out of our High Schools.

AGREED- if the men are charged like this, then a woman getting involved with a BOY should be charged, and jailed the same way, and labelled a sex offender as well.

AGREED- let's work at getting the REAL preditors off the streets, however I wonder if the thing for the non legal or barely legals could be a sign of something more sinister ?

Just a couple of thoughts.

Cheers

Well thank you for not stoning me, I know many people would and/or will.

 

I AGREE that teens are not yet adults either & sometimes dont think about the consequences of their actions. However, its the parent's job to teach their children right from wrong & what could/will happen if they choose wrong. Now, will kids/teens ALWAYS listen to EVERYTHING their parents tell them? Of course NOT, but if they do do something they know they're not supposed to, then they DO need to deal/suffer with the consequences & not be treated like a victim or innocent person.... or how else are they gonna learn from the wrong-doings?

 

I also AGREE that the "porn addiction" is a lame excuse/cop out. However, I dont think we (generally speaking) should just assume that this man would/could go after someone even younger. I mean, I suppose we shouldnt necessarily assume either way, but for some reason, I just get the feeling he is NOT a REAL sexual predator. But I guess I will just have to wait until the show airs to kinda see how he acts & what he says/how he words things to get a better opinion.

 

As far as the thing for the non-legal or barely legals being a sign of something more sinister.... I think its about the thrill. The whole being with someone younger or older thing is very fun & exciting to some, of course it should be CONSENSUAL. But some other people still find the concept very taboo, therefore, making it seem more 'forbidden & exciting'. I actually have some personal experience with this....  however, I was older than this girl on the show (and he was not married). I was 19, about to turn 20 (I'm 21 now) & I started dating a 30 year old. In the beginning the age thing was an issue for me because my mom, uncle & aunt were (still are) in their 30s & it was kinda weird, I actually turned him down at first because of it, but I got over it because I really liked him & it wasnt like nobody else in my family hadnt dated someone with an age difference (obviously my mom included.... now in her 30s, she's also dated younger guys). By being involved with this guy, I realized that older guys tend to be more real & mature than guys my age. Which is why I now prefer older guys, I do have my limits though. This is NOT the case for ALL older guys, but definitely for a lot of them. Anyway, now I'm just rambling, but these are some more of my thoughts.

 
October 23, 2007, 12:08 pm CDT

10/24 Controversial Love Affairs

Quote From: rissa140

I may get stoned for this, but its my personal opinion....

 

I'm sorry but, If this 15 year old CONSENTED to the affair, then she is NOT a victim of RAPE! I read another post in another thread about the sexual predator that was recently caught, etc. and I have to agree with that person & say that I highly believe the laws need to change in regard to consensual sex. (For the record, this person's post was NOT talking about the sexual predator that the discussion was about!) Dont get me wrong, the affair should NOT have happened because the guy is married, but to say he is a "sexual predator" or anything of that nature is ridiculous, given that this girl consented. I dont care what anyone says, she is old enough to know better, so where is HER responsibility & punishment in all this? The laws are so twisted.... its legal for a 15 year old to work in some places & take driving classes to learn how to drive, but its not legal for them to consent to sex??? How does that make any sense? And we all know that if it was the other way around & the older person was female & the younger one was a male, then the female would get a slap on the wrist, compared to if she were male.

 

My mother got pregnant with me at 15 (had me at 16) & my biological father was like 21-22.... did my grandparents try to get him in trouble/arrested? NO, because they knew my mother was just as responsible as he was! People need to STOP treating teens as LITTLE kids & make them accountable for their actions. Its not fair for this guy (or anyone else) to be facing felony charges & possibly have to register/be branded as a "sex offender" (and the other person involved gets NO kind of punishment what so ever) when it was CONSENSUAL! I mean really, lets focus on the REAL sexual predators & rapists & put THEM behind bars or worse, and leave the CONSENTING people to clean up their own messes!

 

(oh, and I believe here in CT, the legal age of consent is 16)

Sorry, but I have to disagree. Any man or woman that has sex with a teenager is considered statutory rape, regardless whatever the child consented to it, or not. No matter how you think about it, it is rape. If the man really didn't want to destroy his family & be behind bars, don't you think that he would've said no to her, told his wife about her actions, & have his wife call her parents on her? Think about it. I don't have any sympathy for rapists at all; I don't see why you do. Therefore, the child is the victim! Not to mention his wife & their children!
 
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