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October 25, 2007, 3:20 pm PDT
Right on Dr. Phil
I want to start off by saying that Dr. Phil handled the situation very well. Many of you may think I am foolish, but I read some of your responses, and I don't think you can judge Dr. Phil until you can see what he said right to the end of the show. As for some of you who said Dr, Phil you should have done this or done that, I think you would be underminding what he knows that he is doing. If you have ever been in this situation what would have you done? Do you think you could do a better job than what he did in offering the help that he did?
I am not giving an excuse to what the mother did to her daughters or what the father did. Yes, it was the mother's fault for allowing her daughters to go through this situation, and not kicking her husband out when she should have. However, I believe she wanted to give him a chance, and she was also afraid for her life. Yes, she had the training to help people like her husband. In some situations, it is more difficult to handle because this is a close family member or it is your spouse. So what did she do? She went into denial, and as you can see Dr. Phil spoke to her directly. He told her what she did wrong, and how it is. She needed to hear the truth, and I don't think any of us could have said it better than the way he did. As for the daughter, Dr. Phil did what he could have done. I am sure the card that Dr. Phil handed to the mother involved help for her mother and daughter. This help was probably held confidential to protect them both from the drunken husband, and from others who may try to harm the mother and daughter.
As for the drunken father, I am so glad Dr. Phil did what he did. He wanted to give the drunken father another chance, and to directly remove him from the home so that the mother and daughters could live in peace. The father was so drunk that he had no idea what do to or how to cope, and that is why he was committing suicide. He was so far gone that I don't even think the family could help the drunken father. You heard what the daughter said, Dr. Phil you are my last hope. Yes, the daughter should have not gone through this, and she didn't have to. However, I believe she loved her father so much that she was willing to put herself in harm's way. There is no way she should have to do that, and the mother knew she was wrong with that. That is why she brought her husband to Dr. Phil, and Dr. Phil did a great job handling the situation especially talking to the daughter alone without the parents around. And you know what happened.
On one final note, drunks sometimes can't be helped even by other rehabs, so they need to go to a very strick form of a rehab such as the one Dr. Phil sent Robert to. My wife and I were houseparents for a local ministry, which we stepped down from just recently. There was one point where the boys (who are between 17 and 18 years old) were drinking every night. The director said we could not do anything about it until we absolutely saw them drink in front of us. My wife and I would go through their side of the house that we lived in, and find lots of beer cans both in the cupboard, behind the couch, and in the closet in the lounge area. We even found empty beer cans in their bedrooms and on the front porch. We talked to the director about it, but he told us that he or my wife and I could do nothing about it until we catch them drinking. His philosophy was that someone was just bringing the empty cans there, and dumping them there. He would not do anything about it until he actually saw them drinking. Meanwhile, we told him we could smell the booze on their breath. There was another time, when we were looking through the cupboards, and we found a whole 40oz bottle of malt liquor. My wife and I conscficated it, and called the director to tell him what we found. Two minutes later, we could hear cupboard doors slam, and one of the kids yell, John, you better not f***** taken that (yelled by the 17 year old), and we knew we had to leave the house, and take it to the director. We left the house, and he was running after us after we drove off. An hour later, we got back, and they had sprayed something in the house that made us choke. Now, you tell me that my wife and I could do something about it until the director does something about it, and he would never do anything to take care of this drinking (which was against the rules of the home). We couldn't because the kids wouldn't listen to us, and the director never took care of ths situations because he was afraid of losing these kids. And most of all, we were afraid what the kids might do to us especially after these kids were on probation.
Let me ask you all this question, what if the mother and daughters were afraid for their lives? What if he killed them in one of his drunk times?
Sincerely,
John
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(Original Air Date: 10/25/07) Should teens have to police a parent who is drug-addicted or just overall irresponsible? Robert, a father of two, has been in rehab six times in the past four years for an alcohol addiction. He says he drinks so often that his 14-year-old daughter, Keryn, pours out his beer daily, cleans up his bloody wounds after drunken falls and walks him home to prevent the police from arresting him! Robert's wife, Eileen, says she feels torn between protecting her children and loyalty to her husband. Will she stop enabling Robert's addiction, and will Robert get the wake-up call he desperately needs? Keryn has been her father's overseer for so long, is it too late to reverse their roles? Share your thoughts, join the discussion.
