Topic : 06/09 Devastating Divorce

did anyone but me see the Grim Reaper at the back of the audience who walked down after Dr. Phil and Robin and disappeared?  It is on my tape.  Halloween fun for the crew???

 I feel bad for Danny but I feel bad for Gretchen...she put up with far more than any one person should have to in 3 lifetimes...but she could only blame herself for all the pain she dealt with in her life...in life you always have choices.  The option to stay or the option to go.  You could love someone but that doesn't mean you have to stay with someone.  As for Danny, I am happy he changed his life around and I hope it is not a temporary change...sometimes it is too little too late for this relationship, but it might a good move and change for his next relationship.  I wish him the best and I also wish the best for Gretchen and I hope she learned not to date anyone with drug/alcohol/substance abuse or anger issues again...nothing is worst than wasted time and repeated mistakes.

 It is sad that a marriage cannot be saved after 17 years.  The Bonaduce's obviously love each other.  I was impressed how Danny was honest on the show, it must have been hard for him going through what he is going through. I was also equally impressed with Gretchen and her ability to do what is best for her and the children.

 

I was bothered however by the fact that Danny indicated he had read all Dr. Phil's Books.  I just want to know if he actually comprehended them.  He just doesn't really seem to get it.

 

One thing he said on the show is, that Gretchen asked if he would remarry if something happened to her and she died. He then responded by telling her that he would bring a date to the funeral.  Come on, after having an affair you had to have known that that comment was going to hurt and it shows a tremendous amount of disrespect.  I've been married for  17 years, this comment portrayed to me that he doesn't have the ability to be faithful or have respect for his wife or their children.

 

Being alone is not that bad if you like yourself. Danny needs to like himself enough to develop a better self esteem and needs to redefine what it means to be a real man.  He may love his wife but the honor and cherish part doesn't seem to fit in his lifestyle.   

 

My husband is not perfect but he loves me enough to have respect for me and cherish me. He works hard all the time at doing the right thing not, not the easiest or most fun thing. All I can say is seeing this show made me love and appreciate my husband a whole lot more.

It's  beyond me that people cannot get the help they need anywhere other than on a tv show.

There has to be a plethora of good therapists in America.

I'd have to be on my last leg to go begging Dr. McGraw.

 

 

Bonaduce is never going to change--his ego weighs more that he does.

It's telling that another man a day or two earlier was told he was feeling sorry for himself yet Bonaduce was told no such thing.

Celebrity perks?

One has to wonder.

I get that she has had enough trust me i have been there but love is not a feeling it is a choice and I just wish that they (she ) would not give up on this marraige right now. I am not saying that it will be easy or fun but she said it , she made a vowel in front of God and every one and he expects us to keep it. Now I heard when they both said that he cheasted on her, but if she really cares about him and she says that she still loves him then you don't break that contract. I say (my opinion only) she should give it one more shot. Good luck!!!!!!!!

Gretchen  made a vow--not vowel--in a church but so did Danny.   He proved over and over again that he was incapable of adhering to that vow.   Why should Gretchen live in pain the rest of her life because she made a poor choice for a husband?   If Danny was as smitten with her as he claims, he would have taken his vow more seriously than he did.

 

His self-pity  and glibness were hard to stomach.

 

When he and Gretchen were on  Celebrity Paranormal Project  along with Chris Mcknight and his wife Adrienne, he persistently made sexual innuendos to her.   Are those the actions of a loving committed husband?  The show was embarrassing to watch.

 

I doubt that he will ever be happy in marriage--he's too selfish and concerned with his own  desires.

Danny Bonaduce is mysogenistic TRASH, period. He does not know how to live a clean and loving life or be a father or husband.  His motivations for relationship are entirely selfish and not capable of reciprocation or giving.  He should learn how to live with himself and tolerate himself before he expects anyone else to be able to accept him and truly love and trust him. 

 

Once and addict, always an addict.  Any woman who decides to be with him will live a life of constant battle with his demons, because that is a huge part of his personality and reality.  He is reactive and volatile, having random sex and losing himself in sex, drugs, and alcohol because he has not grown up and learned how to cope with a modest and mediocre reality.  He  seems to be an entitled narcissist that has not dealt with his own personal failures to an end of acceptance, and he punishes himself and it destroys everything in his life.

 

HE NEEDS TO LIVE ALONE FOR AT LEAST A YEAR, CLEAN, SOBER, and FULLY FUNCTIONAL on his own before any woman should ever consider him as a potential mate.  He is obviously a sick, codependent addict who treats women as a tool and a fix.

 

God help his kids and Gretchen, I hope they can distance themselves from this sick worthless idiot.  He chooses to live his life in such a selfish and worthless manner, why should anyone give him the time of day, because he obviously has no will to truly change.  He still wants to drink, drug, and whore around, and he is a very poor example of a human. 

 

He thinks he was "born to be someone's husband" but he is clueless about what a husband is and is incapable of being a husband.  WHat he means is, he is entirely dependent on a woman's company to validate him, and he cannot stand being alone.  He is a sociopath.

I LOVE DANNY..I'LL MARRY HIM TOMORROW

I LOVE DANNY.....I'LL MARRY HIM...

Dr. Phil,

I wish I would have a chance to share my heart with Danny Bonduce.  I’m quite sure I would not be able to show the tact you have. He sparked an immediate response in me when he said, “Some men are born to be astronauts, some doctors.  I am born to be a husband.” I wanted to shake him and say, No!,NO!,NO! You are an overly achieving co-dependent who wants to be a caretaker or have someone take care of you, depending on the moment.  Alcoholism covers up the symptoms yet when you scratch beneath the veneer you will find other issues.  IF you were born to be a husband, you would succeed in your endeavors as those astronauts and doctors you admire who have achieved in theirs. You would be the best husband possible who I would bet would include no alcohol or drugs, no affairs, none of your shenanigans. I am offering advice where it hasn’t been requested so I guess that puts me in the lecturing class. I feel a love for you, your work, and your life. I pray that you hunker down and work with your sponsor in the closest fashion possible and preferably with a therapist simultaneously. Work on your sobriety, your fourth step, deal with your self so you can become a co-parent to your kids and form a great relationships with everyone in your life. Ask me how I know this can be done, especially when you are lucky enough to have a one on one relationship with Dr. Phil.  As hard and painful as the work may be, you can find the peace you’re looking for and live comfortably with Gretchen, whatever role she plays in your life.