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Topic : 06/09 Devastating Divorce

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Created on : Friday, October 19, 2007, 01:52:54 pm
Author : DrPhilBoard1

Original Air Date: 10/26/07) What do you do when you’re desperate to hold onto your marriage but your spouse wants out? Dr. Phil’s guest, Danny Bonaduce, became famous as a child star but is now infamous for his very public bad behavior -- loud outbursts, drug addiction and cheating on his wife of 17 years. When Danny last spoke with Dr. Phil, his marriage was on the rocks, but he was learning to live sober and inspire his wife, Gretchen, to trust him again. Now, a year has gone by, and Gretchen has filed for divorce. Danny says Gretchen is the love of his life, and he doesn’t want their marriage to end. But is it too late? Dr. Phil meets with Gretchen separately to find out if there’s still a sliver of hope for them to hold onto. After hearing from Dr. Phil and seeing clips of Danny's conversation, will Gretchen give their relationship another shot? Talk about the show here.


Find out what happened on the show.


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June 12, 2008, 9:11 am CDT

Dr. Phil, you have got to be kidding me!

 I don't usually respond to television shows, but I really felt compelled with this one.
Dr. Phil,
There were a couple of things that I picked up on in your interview with Danny Bonaduce that I am really surprised you didn't address. I know addressing a person with negative/positive attention issues sometimes only feeds into it, but come on! Danny's gift for hyperbole and Gretchen's gift for being completely apathetic are only 2 of the glaring personality traits that have led to the demise of this union.

They feed into each other, with his constant "look at me, look at me" and her stone faced botox injected expression, there is a lot of fixing to be done so their poor children can even have a hope of turning out to be successful  as human beings.
One of the things Mr. Bonaduce said is," I have worked too hard for too long............blah blah blah"
WORKED HARD!? At what? His profession seats him in a radio show for a couple of hours a day to TALK ABOUT HIMSELF!  This man needs a positive outlet, he dresses himself up like a bada** but he has to manufacture the lifestyle, he does not know what hard work is......let him build some thing, let him be productive, most of all let him get tired enough at the end of a day that he does not have the energy to be self destructive. You said you are slso his friend, maybe you are too close to the situation to be objective, that's not something that you usually do, Dr. Phil.
Now for Gretchen, she knew him 1 day before marrying him, to me that speaks volumes. He was an attention whore when she met him and now she is finally done after 17 years.?  And then brought two kids into that mess? She finally figured out that all of the big houses and celebrity(she did sign on to a reality show, right?) can't make up for a fundamental lack of life skills? What has she accomplished with her celebrity, or her life for that matter? She does not produce, build or contribute to society either. She exists to mearly keep a staff employed, because heaven forbid she should lift a finger and do any kind of work.

There you have it ,I have vented. No, I'm not  a hater, their show was on for all of the world to see, they made it my business, they laid it out in front of me and I was interested. I only hope that their children have some positive role models in their lives so thay can go on to be productive members of society, not just another couple of "poor me" hollywood brats, who feel the world owes them something, while they contribute nothing.
 
June 14, 2008, 8:49 pm CDT

So Sad, So Sorry!

We all know that marriage is not perfect.  That we all have to work hard to make "it" work.  That when children are involved things are much more important to take into consideration...Having stated all of that, I CAN understand, unfortunately, how one may come to seriously believe that there is no other way to move on, live or love life or even be "whole" again unless there IS a divorce.  I even believe that there is this NEED to make a divorce happen to spare the children's lives.  I speak from experience, yet I have not fully completed any divorce actions.  However, I too believe that the best thing for saving myself AND my children - well, the older 2 - is to divorce.  If there is lack of trust, loss of the "in-love" feeling, belief that there may not even be a true feeling of any love, that there is actually dislike for the other or joy when the other is gone for ANY and ALL amounts of time, fear or discomfort around the spouse and even the kids - or at one of the kids states they would be happier if the one spouse wasn't even around...Well, I think divorce is definitely a possibility.  So---Having stated all of that...Yes, divorce is not something that anyone should have to endure---UNLESS YOU FEEL YOU MUST to continue a true normal and healty life.  I'm so sorry to see this happen to them - or to anyone!  God Bless them all!
 
June 16, 2008, 8:33 am CDT

Questions

My questions are concerning Gretchen. She states that she "loves & adores" Danny & then a few sentences later states she is "indifferent" to him. This is an oxymoron - can a woman do that?

 

Also - she is trying to "help" Danny develop a relationship with another woman ( to replace her). How can she do that when she has been unsuccessful in her own relationship with Danny????

 
June 16, 2008, 8:01 pm CDT

06/09 Devastating Divorce

Quote From: phulax

My questions are concerning Gretchen. She states that she "loves & adores" Danny & then a few sentences later states she is "indifferent" to him. This is an oxymoron - can a woman do that?

 

Also - she is trying to "help" Danny develop a relationship with another woman ( to replace her). How can she do that when she has been unsuccessful in her own relationship with Danny????

What I got out of it is that she "loves and adores" Danny, from a distance, that she is not IN love with him. That they argue all of the time and she doesn't want to try to be married to him anymore. Can a woman do that? I can't speak for myself because I love my husband and want to stay married to him. And sometimes, even after 34 years, I adore him, too.

 

She said that she picked that particular woman for him because she knew whoever he ended up with would also be around thier kids a lot. She thought that this woman would be a good person to be around thier kids.

 
June 17, 2008, 10:49 am CDT

I can relate to Gretchen!

The show really gave me inspiration! My husband has been a herion and meth abuser for over 20 years!  We have been together 6 and it has been such a roller coaster!   He is taking methadone, but relapses every few months.  Having spent most his lift on the streets and in prison, he does not know how to communicate or live a "normal" life. Every where we go he argues with people!  I am to the point now that I am really having a hard time - Hearing Gretchen last 17 years - I dont know how she did it! We have been together 6 years - and I am so worn out and just cant do this anymore!  Especially with our kids - we have two 3 and 5.   Our 5 year old has seen so much and it has really affected him, I hope maybe the producers will read the boards and maybe offer help to our family, before its too late.   Thanks Dr. Phil!
 
September 27, 2008, 2:17 pm CDT

06/09 Devastating Divorce

Quote From: cndrlla

Ok, Jeff.....after reading your post, it's obvious why your wife wanted out!! Shifting blame is your way to deal with NOT dealing with the real issues! Jeez!
Where the HELL did you see that I shifted blame? I merely stated the facts. The only thing obvious here, is that you only read into it what you wanted to. Divorce was never an option for me but too many cold, heartless, controlling, selfish, coniving, unrealistic women of the Gloria Steinem cult, and you sound like one of them, don't want to work through the difficulties. They just want to run away like gutless cowards.
 
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