I am recovered alcoholic of 5 years. I have been watching Danny struggle with his demons for quite a while now. Today I am hearing EXACTLY the same things he's been saying over and over and over again. He's still not focusing on himself and fixing what needs to be fixed with Danny FIRST.
They say not to rush in to or out of a relationship the first year of sobriety. He is saying he will marry someone else tomorrow if his wife doesn't come back to him. There's a saying about that. Who do you dislike so much you would wish yourself on them right now.
I don't hear any kind of program working for him coming from what he is saying. I hear emotional black mail and someone that is still self obsessed and still saying I will drink and do this or that if I don't get MY way.
Danny FIRST needs to get serious about sobriety. He's not. He's still tying to con everyone in to believing that he's changed instead of actually doing the real work and CHANGING. The ONLY person Danny is fooling is Danny.
His wife should go to Alanon and in NO WAY go back to him. His problems are not about the marriage his problems are about HIM.
He needs to go to meetings, REALLY work the steps with a sponsor, and focus on HIS SOBRIETY for the next year and nothing else.
I also believe that whomever he marries instead is going to be just as sorry. Because Danny is trying to put a bandaid on a bursting dam.
Hey, it takes what it takes and if he really is serious about what he SAYS then he better take ACTION.
Danny, stop making all of this about everyone and everything else except YOU. Why should anyone love someone who can't learn to love themself. LEARN TO LOVE YOURSLEF AND LOSE THE EXCUSES AND DO WHATEVER IT TAKES TO GET SOBER !!FIRST!!!
Sobriety doesn't take 28 days, 6 months or even a year sometimes. Sobriety isn't about just not drinking or doing drugs. It's about CHANGE, changing the way you respond to life instead of react. It's about working thru everything that needs to be fixed in YOU, spiritually, mentally, physically and emotionally. This is not going to happen over night. You need to surrender to your reality. This is a lifetime job now.
When I finally accepted that I have no power over a disease I had to learn where that power is. The 12 steps helped me do that. Making amends is not about EXPECTING forgivness. This is about fixing YOU. Stop trying to control everything and let go and give this to a power greater than yourself
Original Air Date: 10/26/07) What do you do when you’re desperate to hold onto your marriage but your spouse wants out? Dr. Phil’s guest, Danny Bonaduce, became famous as a child star but is now infamous for his very public bad behavior -- loud outbursts, drug addiction and cheating on his wife of 17 years. When Danny last spoke with Dr. Phil, his marriage was on the rocks, but he was learning to live sober and inspire his wife, Gretchen, to trust him again. Now, a year has gone by, and Gretchen has filed for divorce. Danny says Gretchen is the love of his life, and he doesn’t want their marriage to end. But is it too late? Dr. Phil meets with Gretchen separately to find out if there’s still a sliver of hope for them to hold onto. After hearing from Dr. Phil and seeing clips of Danny's conversation, will Gretchen give their relationship another shot? Talk about the show here.
